Hello all, this is my last-minute entry into the Summer Lovin Contest. If you like it, be sure to vote. Thanks!
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I laid on my bed, scrolling idly on my phone, my cat Max curled up contently beside me, his purring the only sound in an otherwise quiet house besides the low hum of our old air unit outside, struggling valiantly but failing against the relentless heat of a sunny August day. But I had other things on my mind - the upcoming cookout, the festivities later that evening...
And most importantly of all, making love to my brother in our special place.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. Perhaps a little explanation is in order.
My name's Katherine, Kat for short, and I live with my mom in one of those small towns that you'll find strewn all across the country. I have an older brother Ted, who's been away attending university, whom I hadn't seen since my high school graduation nearly three months ago. Normally he'd spend summer break at home, working to earn extra money for college and spending his free time with me, who he'd declared his favorite sister. When I'd pointed out that she was his only sister, he'd laughed and said that even if he had ten sisters, I'd still be his favorite, causing me to blush and feel like the most special girl in the world. After all, I considered, wasn't I the one with whom he shared the tradition?
Summer Bash, or Sum Bash! as some local official who thought they were being extraordinarily clever had dubbed it, was a local festival that took place the first weekend in August to drum up business in the midsummer lull between the Fourth of July and Labor Day. It had all the trimmings you'd expect including live music, games, crafts, rides, vendor stalls, and all kinds of unhealthy but scrumptuous foods and treats available. Ted and I went every year, and enjoyed every minute of it. But as fun as all that was it was, none of it compared to what comes after.
The last evening of the celebration there was always a magnificent fireworks display, even more impressive than the Fourth, owing to this being a slower time of year for such professional companies, meaning the town is able to secure more skilled practitioners that never failed to impress with their elaborate pyrotechnic displays.
We always spent the day enjoying the festivities before he'd walk me out deep into the woods that surrounded the fairgrounds to a secluding clearing near a bubbling creek, where he'd throw down a blanket and we'd sit together away from the crowd and enjoy the fiery spectacle that lit up the sky. The last few years my brother had even brought a pair of wine coolers for us to share.
And after the show was over we'd just sit there for hours, staring at the night sky, talking about anything and everything. Even bad weather didn't stop us, I remember when a few years ago it'd been raining heavily and the fireworks and most of the other activities had been cancelled. Ted, seeing my disappointment, procured a pop-up tent from one of his friends and we'd gone and celebrated our ritual anyway in defiance of the elements, my brother even being thoughtful enough to download a fireworks show that we watched as the rain pattered on the canvas around us, never being more happier in my life as I'd rested my head on his shoulder.
I smiled at the memory. Even though my brother and I are close and spend lots of time together, this had become my favorite time of the year, and I looked forward to it even more than Christmas or even my birthday. Maybe it was the magic of the luminous display, the serene beauty of the woods at night, or because I was sharing it all with my favorite person in the world. Whatever the reason I adored it, watching the dazzling display, holding my brother's hand, imagining that Ted had arranged the whole thing just for me. And I supposed that's part of why what happened, happened.
I fell hopelessly in love with my brother.
I still remember vividly the day I'd made this realization. It'd been several months ago, Graduation Day to be exact. It was after the ceremony, and mom was taking pictures of my friends and I in our caps and gowns holding our diplomas. That's when Matt, a boy from my class whom I'd been seeing since the previous fall, came up and asked if he could speak to me alone. I agreed, and followed him to a secluded spot under the bleachers, for the event had been held on our school's football field.
We began with some idle talk, congratulating each other on making it through high school, excited over our plans to attend the same nearby state school. But what added to the excitement was that we both knew that later, after a celebratory dinner he was planning to take me to the local make out spot and, you know, consummate our relationship.
I have to admit, I felt my juices flowing at the prospect of finally being with a man, especially one as kind, considerate, and handsome as Matt. But at the same time I was nervous. Not because of the potential pain, because I'd already broken my hymen with my frequent horseback riding, nor the act itself because I'd seen and heard enough about sex to know more or less what to expect, not to mention I'd experimented with dildos and other toys and now was aching for the real thing. No, I was apprehensive because something was niggling at my mind, that this wasn't right somehow.
Bottom line - my body was ready and raring to go, but something in my heart was pulling me back, although I couldn't figure out what it was.
And while I was mulling over this, Matt suddenly went from easygoing and casual to serious and nervous, fiddling around in under his graduation robes before finally pulling out something from his pocket and holding it out to me in his palm, his hand shaking slightly.
My heart thumped in my chest as I'd stared transfixed at the simple silver bands in his hand, barely hearing his stuttering explanation over what he said were promise rings, how he really liked me and how we got along so well, and since we were going to the same college he thought it'd be nice if we made a formal commitment to be exclusive to one another.
So many emotions buzzed through my head at that moment - surprise at the suddenness of Matt's request, admiration that he'd had the courage to make such a bold move, happiness that he was making such a touching and loving gesture to the point that I almost reached out and took the ring and accepting all the implications of doing so.
But I didn't.
For at the very last second images flooded through my mind, of the promise ring morphing into an engagement, then eventually a wedding ring as I saw myself spending the rest of my life with Matt or someone just like him, raising a family and sharing all the joys and sorrows of life together and all I could feel was fear, fear that I was making the biggest mistake of my life.
I looked up at Matt, into his eager, expectant expression. "Well, what do you say?" he asked.
Seeing his joy almost broke my resolve, until I heard a word spoken in what sounded like my voice, but separated from me somehow. "No."
His jaw dropped as the rings fell to the concrete with a clatter as his hands slumped to his side. "N..no? No? What do you mean, no?" he babbled, the boyish exuberance gone. "Why no? Don't you feel the same way about me as I do about you?"
I shook my head, sad that I was breaking his heart but more confident now that it'd been said, that I was now committed to what I knew was the right course. "I'm sorry, Matt, you're a wonderful guy, but I just don't think that the road we're on is the right one, for either of us. I'm not asking you to understand it right now, hell, even I don't completely understand. But I do know this is the right thing to do."
He opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it, shaking his head and muttering angrily as he scooped up the rings and stalked away, calling me all sorts of foul names that I still can't repeat. But I knew I probably deserved it and more for ruining a moment he'd probably spent countless hours preparing for, but convinced I'd regretted it even more if I hadn't, even if I wasn't yet sure why. Still it hurt, and hurt bad.
"You okay, Kat?" I heard my brother's warm, concerned voice say nearby. He must've seen me emerge from under the bleachers, looking dejected. Suddenly the full force of what I'd done hit me, and I broke down and fell against his shoulder, crying my eyes out. Even though I now knew Matt wasn't the one, he'd still meant a lot to me and I'd hoped we could at least remain friends, but that now seemed impossible. Seeing my state, Ted thankfully got me out of there and into his car quickly before I became a subject of gossip.
For a while we just drove, me continued to sob quietly into tissues my brother provided, Ted thankfully not pressing me for any more details. He stopped and picked up some wine coolers before driving to a secluded spot before popping the lid of one of the brightly colored bottles and handing it to me, which I accepted gratefully.
For a while we just sat in silence as I sipped on the cool liquid, gradually composing myself. "If you want to talk about it, I'm listening. But if not, that's cool too."
I wanted to lie, to say things were fine or at least fudge over the details so as not to upset him. But before I knew what I was doing I was spilling every last detail to my brother. Ted didn't interrupt, letting me finish my sad tale before he responded, and I could practically feel the anger emanating from his body.
"Bastard," he growled, "he had no right to do that to you, especially after you had the decency to break up to his face, which is more than some of the girls I've been with have had the courage to do. Want me to go and teach him a lesson?
"No," I'd said immediately, knowing that he'd do it and get himself in a lot of trouble, which would make me feel even more horrible. "That'll just make things worse. Just stay here with me, please." Even though I meant what I said, I couldn't help feeling an enormous sense of gratitude at what he was willing to do for me, how he'd always took up for me even those times he knew I was wrong.
I briefly pictured him beating the daylights out of Matt, smiling as the thought ignited a warm, tingling sensation that started in my chest and spread to my limbs and, to my shock, my groin. What the fuck?! I shouted within the confines of my mind, shocked to realize that what I was feeling was arousal. But why? I was talking to my brother, not some guy I had the hots for. It may be sick, I mused, but Ted's strong and assuring words in my defense would have excited any woman. Any girl in my place would have reacted the same way, right? I tried to convince myself even as I struggled and failed to halt the pleasant sensations, feeling that familiar wetness begin to slicken my groin.
