I'm not sure if my story will help anybody in a similar situation, but for what it's worth here it is. My husband walked out on me ten years ago, at the time our son was eleven. In all that time I had never been in a serious relationship in fact I had rarely been out with another man. I concentrated all my love and attention on Carter my son. Gradually I became frustrated and began looking for solace on the internet. I discovered the Literotica web site and began reading stories gradually drifting towards the incest section and mother son stories in particular. Why mother and son, because I realized about two years ago I became infatuated with my son and now he is twenty one I am in love with him and want him to love me back. Unfortunately he didn't seem to show any interest, oh he loved me as a mother, but I wanted more, much more.
I read a story which seemed to sum up my situation perfectly and sympathetic to my circumstances. I emailed the author to determine if he would be able to advise me what actions could be taken to realize my dream. Never having contacted anybody before I was unsure of the reception I would receive, but my first hurdle was how to contact him. Him, I'm sure it was written by a man by the way he wrote and the slant he put on his writings. There was no email address it looked as if I needed to go through the web site, so I sent him a short message asking if there was any possibility we could talk.
The reply I received was encouraging in which he said, "I don't mind corresponding with people however, I'm a little careful now because several times I have received unwarranted emails. I write for my own pleasure, if people like to read my stories that's fine, if people don't like them that's also fine. You can't please all of the people all of the time, you can only please some people some of the time. In the short time I have been submitting stories I have received abuse in the comments section, mainly from anonymous sources. I've even had complaints about the title, with one complainant even admitting that they had not read the story, why is it some people are so stupid? I no longer bother looking at the comments because I cannot understand why people are so abusive or even critical, after all they are only stories.
"Some authors are good and some not so good but at least they made the effort to provide a service, but what these critics do not seem to appreciate is that they, the readers, drive the authors and not the other way round. If nobody read these stories, it's unlikely they would get written and certainly not get published. With a specific scenario there are only so many ways that it can be written about, with the authors trying different ways to make their stories interesting. Critics complain that some stories are sick, however no matter how sick you think a story is, somewhere that very sexual act, and worse, has happened over and over again, and fact is stranger than fiction, and there are none so sick, as humans.
"I have never read a story where after the sexual act one participant murders the other, but it happens in real life, ask those human traffickers and religious fraternity. The vulnerable are at risk from abductors, to be sold into slavery, or forced into prostitution, where are those critic's voices then? Let's get things into prospective. That apart, I do like to check how many people have read my stories and how many people have added them to their favorites, and generally pleased how my stories have been received. I have an email address for correspondence which at one time I gave out straight away, but now before doing so, I correspond through the web site as we are doing until I have confidence in the person I'm corresponding with."
He went on to say that if I was still interested in corresponding would I provide him with a code name by which he could call me. According to him should I wish to discontinue our association all I needed to do was stop sending emails, as he only replies to emails not initiate them. In my second email I referred to myself as Caroline and my son as Carter and I explained that I had fallen in love with Carter but he doesn't seem to be romantically interested in me, and was there any possible way to determine if he has any sexual feelings for me. Scooter, that's my code name for the author, because he could take me in any direction I wished to go, said, "If you are asking me for ideas about how you can judge your sons feeling or encourage him to have similar feelings for you, as you have for him, then you would need to give me a great deal of personal information about yourself and your son. For instance, I would need you to tell me how you perceive your son, and how you think your son perceives you. Questions like, do you know if your son watches you move around the house, and where are his eyes mainly looking, your face, breasts, butt or legs? Does he have girlfriends?
"Questions for you would be, if you've had men friends does your son know about them? If the opposite applies would he think you frigid? In private do you call him by his given name or an endearing name, sweetie, sweetheart, darling that sort of thing? Then there's the physical side with regard to your looks the way you dress, do you think you would have to change things about yourself, change your image? The whole process is extremely invasive and you may discover things and feelings you may eventually regret, it requires some serious thinking about. Quite frankly you have all the necessary information at your fingertips, it would be much more sensible and discrete for you to carry out your own evaluation. I could give you some tips on what to look for to evaluate Carter, but you would have to do a self-evaluation."
To be quite honest he frightened me a bit, I never considered that I would have to give out personal details. However, when I thought about it, he doesn't know me, and he doesn't know Carter, so how could I expect him to evaluate our feelings and thoughts. The problem was; how can a person evaluate someone's thoughts about them, especially when the subject is taboo, anti-social and unlawful. No son in his right mind would think about having sex with his mother; well that was my thinking at the time. I struggled for a week trying to make a decision, I was unhappy to give Scooter our personal details, but on the other hand our identity and location did not seem to be at risk, we were a non-entity just lines of text on a screen. I didn't feel confident that I could carry out my own evaluation, so the choice was either exposure or frustration. The more I looked at my son and pictured myself in his arms, the more I drifted towards exposure, while confident I could back out at any time.
I waited a month before emailing Scooter to test to see if he would contact me, he never did which gave me a little more confidence that I could end our association at any time. Finally I wrote to him suggesting that perhaps he could help me in my quest, if I was prepared to provide the information he required to determine my son's attitude towards me. In the email I answered some of his original questions. Carter is an athletic good looking guy who plays football for his college and has had numerous girlfriends, but I don't think he is going out with anyone at this time. I haven't noticed if he watches me or pays undue attention as I move around the house or sitting quietly. Whenever we are, alone or in company, I always use his given name, in this case I would be calling him Carter. As for me, in ten years you could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I've been on a date, and never with the same man twice. I wouldn't have thought Carter would think me frigid, but I couldn't be certain. I'm Mrs. Average, reasonable looks, dress sensibly, have an acceptable figure, but, to the best of my knowledge I've never had a man stare or turn to look at me twice because of my sex appeal.
His first email acknowledge my answers and informed me that initially the questions would be general but gradually become extremely personal, and if I was uncomfortable in answering them to discontinue with my quest. Scooter began by suggesting that if I was serious about having a relationship with my son I should consider birth control and take "The Pill." He also assumed that I was a single parent family, and asked if I was a stay at home or working mom, full or part time. He wanted to know if I was computer literate, inasmuch, did I have the capability and facility to scan or print off documents from the internet. He also wanted to know if Carter was ever alone in the house on a regular basis and for any extensive periods of time. His final instructions were to occasionally call Carter sweetie. I confirmed that I was a single parent working full time, computer literate with the knowledge and facility to scan or print off documents from the internet. Each weeknight I arrive home two hours after Carter, and Saturday morning's I go shopping while Carter remains in the house alone. I confirmed that when appropriate I would start to call Carter Sweetie.
You need to understand that over time many emails flew back and forth and I can't keep writing, he said, I said, he wrote, I replied, it becomes boring so I'm going try to write what happened in sequence as a story, but remember the whole thing was a lot more fragmented than how its written.
First off Scooter wanted to know about my relationship with my husband. I told him when we married I was young and had lived a sheltered life and was inexperienced and unknowledgeable in the rituals of sex. I refused to perform oral sex, I also refuse to allow him to tie me up and perform anal sex, and believed that was the cause of him seeking solace with other women, which eventually led to him leaving me. I've learnt my lesson I wouldn't let that happen again. The questioning started to become weird, Scooter wanted to know if had I any reason to suspect that Carter, when alone in the house, was wandering around my bedroom, opening drawers, looking, touching things. He certainly had the opportunity. The same thing was asked about the laundry basket, where was it kept, was there any chance that Carter was handing my lingerie, perhaps even wearing it?
For my part it was totally inconceivable he would be doing such things. I thought it underhanded when it was suggested that I set traps for him, but nevertheless I did it anyway. In the laundry basket I laid certain items of lingerie in a specific pattern then took a photograph on my mobile to compare with the following days. The same procedure was carried out in my lingerie drawer and the drawer containing my lady products.
The spotlight turn to me, he asked if I had previously tried to seduce Carter. He wanted to know if either of us casually touched the other, say by putting a hand on the others arm, touching the others face, if sitting close, on the others thigh? If I wasn't touchy feely with Carter then I should start doing it. He also stressed it was important that if we developed a sexual relationship it be kept secret, could Carter be trusted to keep the secret? Scooter wanted to know, that when the time was right and an encouraging situation began to develop, was I in a financial position to buy a few clothes. Initially he thought a skirt, a particular special bullet bra, sweater and a lingerie set consisting of a sexy bra and matching panties.
