Secrets and Solace

Brendan pulled loose his tie and collar. Shannon cleared her throat as he turned away from their mom's grave site. But he couldn't deal with the fake people swarming her. Father Molina fell in step beside him.

"The uniform looks good on you," the old priest said.

"Good thing," Brendan said. "It's the only one the Air Force gave me."

He stopped at this mother's car. He would've killed for a smoke but it was nearly a week since he quit and it was too cold to enjoy it, anyway.

"Shannon doesn't seem happy. But if it wasn't for her friends, no one else would be here for your mom's funeral."

"They're not her friends," Brendan replied, checking on Shannon's progress. The sharp, cold wind buffeted her honey-brown hair. Otherwise she greeted the girls with complete composure. "They've hated her since middle school."

"Makes sense," Father Rodriguez snorted. "Puberty gave them acne, braces, and awkward growth spurts but it gave her that body."

Brendan's stare killed the old priest's laughter and he stammered. "You know what I mean."

Brendan nodded. "They only showed up to see if she gained weight at college."

"I can never remember which one of you is the oldest."

"Shay, by ten months."

"You should come with me to the VFW hall. You two won't have to pay for your drinks."

"I'm nineteen," Brendan said. "They won't let me drink at all."

"Well, they won't make me pay for my—"

"We're not going to a bar," Shannon said, keys in hand. "We've been working for three days to close up Mom's house and we're both beat. Bren, let's go."

Hotel valets ran crazy around a backup of vehicles as Shannon turned into the parking lot. Finally, a van pulled out and she was able to park the car. Brendan unloaded her bags from the trunk as Shannon traded her keys for a ticket.

She took Brendan's hand. Her face reflected the relief he felt. Finally free of their mother's sour shadow. Still there was a massive void of emotion neither could name.

Dozens of kids with scattered parents and coaches clogged the hotel lobby.

"A cheer competition," Shannon said. "God, I don't miss that."

"Come on upstairs," Brendan said, taking hold of her largest suitcase. "We'll call down for a room."

Forty-five minutes later, Shannon exited the bathroom, towel-drying her hair. "How did you get a suite?"

"Benefits of the uniform," Brendan replied.

"Thanks for the shirt and shorts, by the way. I can't believe the washing machine was out at Mom's house."

"You mean the circus tent?" Brendan teased. His Air Force T-shirt and fleece running shorts swallowed his sister like clown clothes. "I ordered a couple of burgers from room service. The front desk said they'd call if they can find a room for you."

Shannon moved to the desk/table/bar setup. "Oh, good, you got ice and drinks. How did you get booze?"

"Courtesy of my tech sergeant," Brendan replied. "She knows I can't buy it."

Shannon joined Brendan on the short couch with two plastic cups.

He took a sip and the Jameson Whiskey eased over him. "That's good. Maybe it'll help me sleep,"

"You can't either?"

"As much as we worked to close up the house, we should both be ready to drop into a coma," he said, taking another pull off of the cup.

"I got Mom's sleeping pills," Shannon said. "We'll both sleep good, tonight."

They watched TV with the weight of things unsaid hovering over them until the food arrived. Then they picked at the burgers without enthusiasm.

The room phone rang and Shannon answered it. After a short exchange she cradled the receiver to her chest. "The only room is on the other side of the hotel. Can I just stay here, tonight?"

"Please," Brendan said before he could modulate the emotion in his voice.

Well into the second whiskey, he addressed the elephant in the room. "Something has been hanging on you like an anchor for the last day and a half. What's up?"

Shannon said nothing at first, nibbling at the fries and ignoring the burger. "When I was getting the jewelry and papers together I found Mom's diaries."

"Oh, good," Brendan said. "She kept a written record of how disappointing we were. Don't read that crap, it's not good for—"

"I think Mom was sleeping with Uncle Mike."

The words slammed into Brendan hard as a fist. "What did you say?"

"You heard me. She refers to taking trips every summer when we were at camp."

Brendan argued. "Trips aren't sleeping together."

"She wrote about them having sex. She called him a horny billy goat, in her diary."

"Did she call Uncle Mike by name?" Brendan asked.

"Not by name."

Brendan continued. "Okay, so, she had a boyfriend."

"A boyfriend? Nobody liked her but Uncle Mike. She's buried next to him, not Dad."

"Shay, Dad died in a training accident and is buried in the national cemetery."

"She called him Finnias. Saint Phineas was Uncle Mike's patron saint on his confirmation certificate."

Vertigo seized Brendan and he held his hands up.

"You don't believe me?"

Brendan looked in her eyes but had to look away. "I forgot my batting helmet once. When I went back home to get it, I heard Mom laughing from the kitchen. She was on one side of the bar and Uncle Mike was on the other. They both looked nervous as hell."

"What the fuck?"

Brendan continued. "I heard her say Finnias when I walked in the house. Days later I asked her about it. She slapped the shit out of me and told me to mind my own business."

Shannon stood and stretched her toned body. Brendan looked away before she caught his stare. She took his cup and made fresh drinks for them both.

He shook his head. "I never thought about why she would do that. Just assumed it was just more of her hateful shit."

Shannon slumped down on the couch beside him. "I saw signs, too. We were both just trying to survive her mood swings."

"I know it was no easier being her favorite," Brendan said, taking the offered cup.

"Yeah, favorite." Shannon nodded, her face bitter.

"Now you can go to veterinarian school," Brendan said. "You're free of her."

"Nope." Shannon rose from the couch, steadying herself with a hand on Brendan's shoulder.

"Why? You're just in your sophomore year. It's all prerequisite classes anyway."

"I have a scholarship for the engineering plan she bullied me into." Shannon paced the room. "If I got into an undergraduate program, I won't get a scholarship. She's still screwing with my life."

"The money from the house will pay your way through."

"Maybe enough for one or two years. I don't even know where I'm going to live between semesters and probate will take—"

"I'll set up an allotment," Brendan said. "Get an apartment and move out of the dorms."

"Why—?" She shook her head.

"Why not?" Brendan retorted.

"I thought...I thought this would be it and then we'd be like those siblings who move to different parts of the country and die without ever seeing each other again."

"That won't be us. I won't leave you like that, not again," Brendan said.

"What do you mean, not again. You didn't leave me."

"After Mike died you ran interference for me. And I abandoned you. I ran to the Air Force at the first—"

"You think I wouldn't have done the same thing if I had the guts to stand up to her?" Shannon said. "You don't have to give me money out of guilt."

"It's not guilt. I'm not a kid anymore and I'm not abandoning you again. The AF gives me grown-up responsibilities and grown-up pay. This is what I can do for you."

Shannon took a deep breath and exhaled. She dug a pill bottle out of her purse and counted out two tablets. "Take this. We'll talk more in the morning. Get off the couch."

"No," Brendan said, knocking back his pill with the dregs of his cup as Shannon did the same. "I'm on the couch. The bed is yours."

He started awake. TV light illuminated the room and silhouetted Shannon. "I'm scared."

"What's wrong? Is it the pills? Do you need to go to the ER?" Brendan asked with no idea how he would get her there as drunk-high as he felt.

"I feel like I'm going to float away," Shannon said, breathing through her mouth. "Please hold my hand."

Sitting up on the vinyl couch, he took her hand. "Come on, I'll put you back in bed."

"I can't," Shannon said. "I'm going to fall."

"I got you." Brendan steered her back to the bedroom, guiding her through dips and drifts as best he could with his own chemically impared balance. They both tripped on her discarded shoes. Shannon landed on the bed. He caught the edge of a bedside table.

"No, stay with me," she said.

Brendan sat on the side of the bed and took his sister's hand.

"Lay down with me so I don't float away."

He stretched out on the bed, still holding her hand. Shannon turned to face him and her breasts landed on his arm and pressed against his ribcage. An electric thrill ran down his body and his penis all but leapt. He turned on his side, extricating himself from her breasts, his face to hers. "What did you say?"

"I said, sorry for beating you up with my boobs."

He started to say "there are worse things in life," but it didn't seem so funny.

"Did you mean it when you said you will help me?"

"Yes," he replied.

"Do you think what Mom and Uncle Mike did can be passed on, like bad genes?"

"No and neither do you." Brendan shook his head and his nose bumped Shannon's.

Shannon giggled for the nose bump. "But when we were—"

"Experimentation, that's all it was. We never did anything like that again."

"So, you never thought about it?" Skepticism bobbed on her swaying voice.

"Like when you wore the lavender bikini from the previous year—that was too small the previous year—to Si Meyer's pool party?" Brendan's head swam and he lost all control of his mouth. "Or how those pink, spandex pants looked like they were painted to the curve of your ass? No, not me. I never gave you a second thought. I jerked off to Uncle Mike's 50-year-old-girlie magazines where they showed one nipple."

Shannon's body shook with laughter.

"What about you?" He prompted as his penis began to swell.

"Mostly I think about how we used to sneak into each other's room after one of Mom's fits. I think about your arms around me. Or your hands holding me, like when Uncle Mike died," Shannon said. "Now, I see you in the grey sweatpants..."

Her thigh brushed his swollen cock. "Ew, is that a boner?"

"Shut up," Brendan laughed with her, shifting his hips to hide his erection.

Shannon continued, her voice lilting. "I used to imagine we would run away, too. Just us. We would play and have fun together like we always did. You were my only friend."

"And you are mine," Brendan said.

"We could see the world, laugh at your brother-boner, no more fits or fights."

"Now we can," Brendan said, his voice hoarse. "You can beat me up with sister titties."

She giggled again. "You promise?"

"Yes," he replied, sleep creeping over him.

"Pretend kiss," Shannon said as soft lips brushed his, shocking him awake.

"Pretend kiss," Brendan said, in their old game, brushing his lips over her full mouth.

"Pretend kiss," Shannon said, pressing her mouth to his, darting her tongue past his lips. He tasted the bright-sweet whiskey and best of all, the unique taste of her mouth.

Brendan sucked her tongue as his hands found her body. A shudder ran through his chest and then through her. Her tight belly quivered at his touch. Shannon pushed him back, kicking off the covers to straddle his hips. She sought his tongue and sucked it as he had sucked hers.

Her fingers were in his hair, she ground her pelvis against his. Brendan's cock felt ready to burst into flames. His hands shook as he first caressed and then groped Shannon's heavenly tits.

Pulling her bottom lip free from his sucking embrace, she thrust her breasts to his face. Brendan lipped and nibbled at her nipples and squeezed her tits through the T-shirt. Shannon pulled the shirt over her head and in the same motion she grabbed his wrists, forcing him back onto the bed.

Brendan licked and teased as her moon-lit tits swayed over his face. His cock pressed against his sister's pussy and she half-laughed-half-goaned. Shannon collapsed on his chest, her mouth on his mouth.

As their kisses descended to tonguing and panting, Brendan grabbed her ass. Shannon yelped in laughter. She continued to giggle while grinding his lap. And then his hands were in her shorts. A long, low "oh," escaped her lips as he groped her ass. When he shifted his right hand to her pelvis and plunged into her panties, Shannon whimpered.

But when Brendan's fingers parted her pubic hair and brushed over the lips of her pussy, Shannon recoiled. "Stop, stop, stop. We can't..."

Already lurching away, Brendan fell out of bed, landing flat-backed on the floor.

They traded "sorries," and "fucks" as he retreated to the bathroom.

Jesus Christ, Brendan thought as he closed the double doors behind him. What the hell was I doing?

But his throbbing cock, still standing at attention, answered the question.

Cold shower, that's what they say, he thought, tossing his T-shirt and shucking out of his sweatpants. He cranked the shower all the way to hot. Then, as he stepped in, cranked the faucet all the way to cold. The shock of freezing-cold water barely made a dent in the booze-and-pill haze and did nothing for his painfully swollen cock.

The doors parted and Shannon stole into the bathroom. She turned off the main lights and flipped on the nightlights, bathing the bathroom in low golden light, no brighter than a candle. Then she kicked out of the shorts as she pulled the shower door open.

"Shay, don't."

"Shut—shit! That's cold!" She cranked the faucet midway and stepped right into Brendan's body. "I just freaked out for a minute but I'm better, now."

"No, you're right. We can't do this."

She placed a wavering finger over his lips. "As long as you don't penetrate me, it isn't intercourse and it isn't incest. Agreed?"

"I don't know, Shay..."

Shannon stood on her toes to plant her plump lips on his mouth. His entire world existed on her whiskey tongue. He leaned to return her kiss. She took his hands and guided them to her chest. "Don't you want to feel these big titties, again?"

He answered by lowering his kisses to her sharp-pointed nipples, licking and biting.

"Then keep your dick and your fingers out of me," she said, passing him the soap.

Brendan sought out her mouth with his tongue as he soaped her beautiful tits. Shannon returned his kisses and stroked his aching cock.

"Let me at the water," she said, forcing him to shift to the side.

Shannon stood under the shower but reached back for his hands. Brendan kissed and nibbled at her neck while cupping her tits. His cock nestled perfectly into the crack of her ass.

She took his right hand and guided it down. "You can pet the kitty, you just can't put your fingers in."

Looking over her shoulder, even in the sparse light he could see their hazy reflection in the mirror opposite of the shower. At Shannon's honey-brown curls, Brendan spread his hand over her glorious pubic mound before gently caressing her engorged clitoris.

"Oh, my God," Shannon sighed.

Brendan began to lightly circle his middle finger over her clit. Moving his tongue to her ear, he flicked and sucked her earlobe while he pinched and pulled at the nipple in his left hand. "Do you have any idea how I would kiss that little pussy flower?"

"Nasty-mouth fucker," Shannon whispered. "Play with that wet pussy."

She undulated her luscious ass back and forth across his cock. Then she arched her back and his cock stuck right between her asshole and pussy. "Whoa, no, no, no."

Wobbling, Shannon leaned back, shoulders against Brendan's chest and spread her legs but she shifted her hips away, thrusting her pelvis out.

"You sexy bitch," Brendan hissed as he strummed her clit with the lightest touch.

"Goddamn..." Shannon husked. "Right there, right there, right there, right there—oh!"

Her knees buckled and Brendan stooped to catch her, easing down with her as tremors racked her body. Still trembling, she turned, sobbing into his chest.

"My god, you're beautiful," Brendan whispered as he rocked her. He held Shannon there for several minutes until she smiled up at him, all trace of crying gone.

"Jesus," she said, reaching for the grab bar. "That was... No, wait, don't go."

"I'm going to get a towel for you," Brendan replied.

"We're not done."

"Shay, I'm so high, I can barely stand up."

"This big boy is standing up just fine," she said, taking hold of his raging erection. "Adjust the shower head so I don't drown."

Brendan shifted the shower so the water hit her back and not her head. Shannon squatted, taking his erection in one hand and his balls the other. She held his cock close to her face. "You just don't know how much I'd like to suck this cock."

Shannon pulled the tip across her face, caressing her cheek and grazing her nose. The same electric thrill shot through Brendan's gut, bending his knees and back. She pulled his cock back across her face, just barely brushing across her precious lips.

"Holy..."

"You can't stay like this," Shannon said, soaping up her hand, the cock tip on her chin. "If that cock stays like this I'll have to suck it to death."

"Shay..." Brendan murmured as she tugged on his cock with a silken hand.

"Can you even imagine? Me, sucking my brother's swollen cock? Shameful." She began to crank her wrist, wrenching at his throbbing cock as she pulled on one of her nipples with her free hand. "God, if I fucked you...we would screw our way to hell."

Shannon leaned back. And a jet of the shower rinsed the soap off the tip.

"Don't," Brendan said, unsure of what he didn't want her to do.

"But I'm not fucking you. So, it would be okay if I just..." She flicked the tip of his cock with her tongue. "It's like a kiss. Nothing wrong with a kiss." She kissed the head of his cock. "You're not penetrating me. Not like you're fucking my mouth."

"Holy..."

"I mean if you fucked my mouth, you might as well fuck my pussy. Eww, sister pussy. Can you even imagine?" She pumped harder on his cock, not even an inch from her face. Her voice lifted in excitement. "You probably can. You probably stroked off thinking of this sister pussy. You'd screw us all the way to hell."

"Shay..."

"And what if you got me pregnant?" Shannon continued. "What if you fucked an incest baby into me? Would you still want to screw me with this brother dick, then? Fat and pregnant with your incest baby, you dirty-cock bastard?"

Shannon looked him right in the eye and Brendan lost his mind. Thrusting his hips, he fucked her soapy fist as she dropped her free hand to rub her pussy.

"Give it to me, you dirty cock bastard. Give me that brother nut." The tip jabbed at her lips as she spoke. "Give me that incest cum. I'll rub it into my pussy. We'll cum together."

Brendan's cock shot forward, almost independent of his hips. Off balance he caught himself as the orgasm tore through him. "I'm gonna cum."

"Do it. Give it to—" The first white spray hit Shannon's neck. Then rope after rope of thick cum splashed her tits. She groaned low, nearly a growl, as she frantically rubbed her pussy and then her body convulsed again.

Morning light burned through Brendan's eyelids. He could smell the floral shampoo that Shannon used and he could feel her head on his chest, her warm, naked body pressed next to his. They woke up with smiles. Then she went to the bathroom and closed the door.

Shannon emerged wrapped in a bathrobe without comment. She went to the TV in the suite giving him free-reign of the bathroom. Dressed and groomed for the day, they made awkward conversation as they packed.