Saffron And Sam Ch 11

All characters in this story are 18 years of age or older unless otherwise denoted. All characters are fictitious and this is a fictitious story, and the resemblance to any characters, living or dead, in this story is purely coincidental. I appreciate the comments and want to apologize for the last chapter. This is a continuous story and you should read the first ten chapters so you understand the dynamics of the story. Enjoy your reading.

*****

I was going about my life trying my best to get over my busted love affair with Barb. It didn't help much when I was playing parties and she always showed up with the

Mad Pack

. She was a constant reminder of how much pain I was in. I noticed that several times during my breaks and after we were done playing she was always trying to approach me. I did my best to avoid her, knowing that sooner or later I would have to speak with her, but not emotionally ready to converse.

As I was leaving class one day Lisa, who usually ignored me, came up to me in the hallway and immediately started in on me.

"What makes you so special anyway?"

"And good morning to you too Ms. Frankel. To answer your question; I guess I'm just a special kind of guy."

"You know you're breaking my sister's heart, don't you?"

"It's all on her, she made her choice. We all have to live by the decisions we make, no matter what the consequences."

"Well aren't we the little philosopher. You sure lashed out at her with that song you wrote; by the way it wasn't that great."

"Well the people seemed to like it."

"It was still cruel to air your problems out in public like that."

"You know Lisa, if you had any compassion whatsoever you'd know that I'm hurting here too, not just your sister. I love her with all my heart and she shit all over me. I was just getting my feelings out the only way I know how. My intention was not to hurt her, but to come to grips with what happened. If you don't like that, you can go to hell."

"Lead the Way, Master Sanderson, lead the way."

*************

One night after practice, Charlie invited me over to her apartment for a little fun. It turned out to be a lot of fun, with us fucking a good portion of the night. I ended up spending the night with her after letting my parents know that I wouldn't be home. Saffron was quite perturbed when I finally got home the next morning, giving me a really cold look as she was going out the door to class.

I was all caught up in my classes and doing quite well with my grades. I joined Gerald and Melanie every day at lunch when I had afternoon classes and it was usually a highlight of my day, except for some days. In one way, I always enjoyed their loving banter back and forth, realizing how much in love they were. However, there were some days when it made me envious and made me realize what I was missing. You could really tell they were in love and I felt it would last.

Saffron and I were having sex just about every night when I would get home from whatever activity I was doing. I was really feeling guilty, not just about the incest thing, but the fact that I was not returning the love she was giving me. It just wasn't fair. She said she was okay, but her jealousy sprouted a few times. It almost boiled over one night and she almost blew it, pardon the pun.

We were having sex and I was going down on her, even tonguing her ass hole, when she said, "Sammy do my ass tonight. I've always wanted try that. Please."

"No Saffron, we won't do that together."

"Why not Sammy, you never turned me down for anything pleasurable before."

"I'm just not going to do it Saffron, it's not something I want to do with you."

"Give me one good reason."

"It's kinky and dirty and I'm just not going to do it. Now that's enough about it."

"Why are we all prim and proper now? Damn you Sammy."

"Okay Saffron, you want the real reason, I'll give it to you. It's something Barb and I did together. I only did it with her."

"Sammy, you've been broken up for weeks now, it's time to get over this bull shit and get on with your life. I'll bet you if Charlie wanted to do it with you, it would've already been done."

"Saffron, leave my room now. I'm not going to take this shit from you; I knew this was going to cause problems."

"No, no Sammy, don't throw me out. I just want to experience the things in sex that I'm curious about with you. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to act jealous. I'm just disappointed."

"Sammy can I ask you something, without you getting mad?"

"Go ahead Saffron."

"I hate to bring this up to you, but I see Barb all the time. She is really devastated and can hardly function because of all this. When are you going to talk to her about this?"

"I like that; she's devastated; how do you think I feel? I know I have to talk to her sometime, but it will have to be when I'm ready and that's not now."

"Just let me know about when you're going to do it. I'd like to be prepared for the fallout. I figure I'm really gonna need to be here for you because it will really kick you in the gut."

"Why do you think I'm holding off?"

"My poor Sammy," she said as she hugged me tightly with my head between her breasts, "She hurt you so badly, I was always afraid that was going to happen. I never really knew how you two got along so well together, but I still think she needed you more than you needed her."

"It's nothing I'll ever understand, although I've got an idea of what happened to her emotionally that led up to our breakup."

"Explain it to me because I sure don't understand how she could have done that to you."

"That's a conversation for another time, sis."

*************

My physical condition was slowly getting better, mainly through my adaptation. I finally had the depth perception discrepancy conquered, without tripping on stairs and my hearing aid was finally a help and not a distraction. I would still try to turn my right ear towards somebody if they were talking to me, but sometimes that wasn't possible. I got to where I could actually watch someone's mouth to confirm what they were saying. It was actually a blessing in disguise; I became a much better listener.

The only issue I was still having, was that every time I played my drums I seemed to get headaches. I went to visit Dr. Simmons, the neurologist that took care of me after the incident. He told me that I was going to have what they call inner ear problems off and on for the rest of my life. He wrote me a prescription for Antivert and told me to take them if I was getting dizzy, nauseous or any other signs of vertigo. He also told me to watch carefully around times of a head cold or anything where I got congested.

As I was leaving, he asked me, "Sam, are you okay?"

"Yes Dr. Simmons, in no small part thanks to you. But I truly realize now, pardon my French, that that big bastard really fucked me up."

"Sam you're a strong character, you'll make it, just don't be afraid to ask for help if you find yourself getting depressed. You have a very strong support system in your family, as long as you talk it out."

"Thank you Dr.," I said as I left his office.

*************

I noticed around school, that women who wouldn't give me the time of day before, were now openly friendly and even flirty. I wasn't in any mood to be emotionally involved with anyone right now, still smarting from Barb. I didn't want them to think I was being snobby, so I was always pleasant but disinterested. I talked this over with Gerald and Melanie at lunch one day.

"Man, I should have such problems," this getting Gerald a pretty strong punch on the arm from Melanie.

"You better be careful there, buddy, I think she could kick your ass."

Melanie blushed a pretty shade of crimson while Gerald resumed his conversation.

"Sam, you're going to have to get over Barb sooner or later. I can't imagine what you're feeling, losing someone you love that much, but I could put myself in your shoes by imagining what it would be like losing this beautiful girl to my right," this getting him a kiss on the cheek from Melanie and then she spoke up.

"Sammy, I think you need to talk it out with her, it's the only way to give you both closure. You both need that badly."

*************

I got a surprise about midweek when I got a call from Roxy. She didn't hesitate to start in on me.

"So I'm a one night stand, I thought you said you were going to call me. I thought we were going to be friends."

"We are fair Roxanne, I'm sorry, I've just had an awful lot on my mind."

"And such a small mind to be collecting all those thoughts."

"See now, you're being the old Roxy. Do you want to meet me for coffee at Magic Joe's coffee shop tomorrow at 1 PM?"

"Yes my dashing Samuel, I'll be counting the minutes."

As I hung up, I wondered if I was getting myself into another mess. "Oh well", I thought to myself, "what was it going to hurt?"

When I showed up the next day, Roxy was already there in a booth waiting for me. As I sat down across from her, I noticed how truly beautiful she was. I opened up the conversation.

"So how are you doing in your new digs, Roxy?"

"I'm really not totally unpacked yet, if you must know. How are you feeling Sammy; are you all better?"

"I guess I'm as good as I'm going to get. If you need help unpacking, allow me to offer my services."

"Oh my, ever the gentleman; Sam, I want to apologize for all the shit I put you through when you came over to apartment when you were first dating Barb. You're really a nice guy."

"And you know Roxy, you're not the demon bitch from hell I thought you were either. Now do you want my help?"

"Well, still the verbal charmer I see," she took a piece of paper out of her purse and wrote something on it, handing it to me, "Be there at 7 PM tomorrow evening and come hungry."

We spent the rest of the time with small talk, having a delightful conversation, me with my decaffeinated coffee and her with her low fat latte. She said she was doing her student teaching and was really enjoying it. She said she was spending the next six weeks with Barb.

"That ought to be nice; she's really good with her children. It'll be a good experience for you."

"Sam, would you mind some advice?"

"As a matter-of-fact Roxy, I would. Please don't say anything about Barb."

"You need to talk to her sooner or later."

"When I'm ready, perhaps."

"Guys; and they say women don't say what's on their mind."

"Roxy, I think it would scare you to know what's really on my mind."

"I could handle it Sammy, I like you. You sure you don't want this friendship to be with benefits? I'd really enjoy that."

"No benefits, Roxy, I'm afraid I'd be the only one benefiting from it. It wouldn't be fair."

"Believe me Sam, you wouldn't be the only one benefiting from it," she said with a sexy smile.

"I don't mean to be blunt Roxy, but I'm just not interested in you like that. Please don't take offense, but friendship is all I can offer right now."

"My, that is being blunt. You'll let me know if you ever change your mind, won't you Sam?" You are such a nice guy and I wouldn't mind dating you myself. You've been good for me; I'll never again be with anybody that doesn't treat me like a lady, as you do."

"Thank you Roxy, what a nice thing to say."

We got up, she gave me a kiss on the cheek, a hug and we went our separate ways after I picked up the check.

*************

That night I told Saffron about my plans for next evening and she couldn't believe it," I'll go with you, after all, I'd like to see Roxy when she's actually acting human."

"You can go with me Saffron, as long as you're not going to cause problems. Roxy is a friend of mine and I'm just helping her out. I'm just being friendly."

"I'll go with you and help and promise I won't cause any problems. Besides, who else is going to keep her from raping you?"

"Now that's just what I'm talking about Saffron, we're just friends and she knows that."

*************

I went through school the next day actually looking forward to seeing Roxy. My writing class was tense because I kept getting rapier stares from Lisa Frankel the whole time we were in class. The instructors also called attention to a paper I'd written on drug abuse among rock 'n roll artists and actually lauded my use of comparison and contrast. This caused a scowl from Lisa because she was used to being the center of attention.

My lunch with Gerald and Melanie was really nice, as usual. I enjoyed the pleasant conversation, before I went off to my afternoon computer class.

I was the center of attention in that class because of my high grades and my willingness to help other students, who were having trouble. Like I said, the instructor was pretty elementary and not normally that helpful. He was one of those teachers I loved to hate, the type that always taught to the smartest people in the class. So much for "leave no student behind."

I met Saffron at the student union at 6:30 PM and we walked out to my car. She knew she was going to be leaving with me so she went to school with me, forcing me to go in an hour early. We had both been killing time after our classes, hanging out in the library at the same time and didn't know it.

On the way over, we talked about our classes and how things were going in our lives. She was really enjoying her psychology classes and was ready to do her clinical time at some local mental health units.

"Dr. Meinert, my preceptor has been doing outpatient therapy and was taking care of a young lady who had been suicidal. I recused myself because I told him I knew her; it was Barb. He told me it wasn't conventional, but if I could give him any background information, it would help him diagnose her problems. I told him what I knew and he told me that if she confirmed what I told him, he could diagnose her problem in the wink of an eye; her parents."

I told her to be careful because if she got in there they might not let her out. It was lame I know, but I took the chance that was offered to me to add a little levity.

"You better never walk by one Sam, or they'll pull you in with a net."

"I'm not worried; they'd throw me back out within 24 hours. I mean there's only so much they can do for someone. I'm a lost cause."

"Don't worry Sammy; I'd make sure they'd keep you."

"Thanks a lot sis, it's nice to have someone he thinks about you. Don't worry; I'd do the same for you."

We both had a good laugh as we pulled up to the apartment complex of the address Roxy gave me. Then I saw something disturbing, a car that looked just like Barb's. Saffron and I walked up to the door and knocked, surprised when Barb opened the door.

"Saffron, Sam come on in, " I saw a Roxy behind her shaking her head like crazy as if to say, "I didn't know."

"No thank you, I think I'll leave, some other time Roxy," as I turned and grabbed Saffron's arm to leave.

"Sam don't leave, I was just leaving; I just popped over to see Roxy's place. She didn't tell me you were coming over."

As she walked out by me, she whispered in my ear as she went by, "Sammy please contact me, we need to talk. Please?"

As she left and we walked in, Roxy said hello to Saffron and asked me," Are you afraid I would've attacked you without backup?"

"Absolutely not, my sister said she knew what it was like to have to unpack by yourself and offered to help. If you don't want both of us to stay, we'll leave. By the way what was that, some kind of set up?"

Roxy looked as if I'd kicked her in the stomach and said, "Sammy I can't believe you'd think that of me, I know how much this situation hurts you, why would you think I would do that to you?"

"I'm sorry Roxy, I'm just not thinking the clearest lately; I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

"That's okay let's get started, if you don't mind. I have an early class in the morning."

"Ready when you are boss."

"If you'll carry those boxes into the room at the end of the hall and stack them neatly I'd appreciate it. Saffron if you wouldn't mind following me to the kitchen help me with unloading the boxes in there."

Saffron followed Roxy into the kitchen and I began carrying the boxes back through the hallway. As I was performing my chore, I recalled when Barb was whispering in my ear, remembering how her breath in my ear actually got me going. I still couldn't fathom the effect she still had on me. I had to get over these feelings.

When I got done, Saffron and Roxy were still unloading the boxes while they talked. I just stood back in the hallway and listened.

"Saffron, I'm worried about Barb. She's head over heels in love with your brother and she's unable to move on. She can't concentrate on anything else. She knows she screwed up and doesn't think she can live with it."

"Roxy, Sam's still in love with her, as well, but nothing's ever gonna come of it, he's hurting too badly. I've tried to tell him he needs to talk to her, but he isn't having any of it."

"You don't know the horror I felt, when you both showed up here with her here. I really didn't set that up it was just bad luck that she was still here, she stopped by without calling me first; talk about awkward."

"Sam is a just such a wonderful guy; I hate to see him hurting like this."

"Well you're his sister; it's got to be rough on you as well."

"You really have no idea."

I picked that time to walk in and interrupt their conversation by saying, "I'm finished in the back Roxy, what do you want me to do now?"

"Now that your sister and I have done the hard work in here, we're going to dirty some of these plates, let's sit down and eat."

We sat down and had sandwiches that Roxy had already made and potato chips and dip with our sodas. We chit chatted throughout the meal and had a good time. After we got done eating, I helped the girls unpack and put away the things in the rest of the boxes that I had moved to the back bedroom. We were finished around 10:30 PM and it was time for us to leave.

Roxy came up and gave me a kiss on the cheek, followed by a hug and did the same to Saffron.

"Thank you both so much, I feel like I can live in this place now, without feeling self-conscious. Take care of that fantastic brother of yours. Call me Sam and we'll get together."

"Sure thing Roxy, good night; see you later."

As we were driving home, Saffron made a point to talk about the interaction between Roxy, her and I.

"I think you were right Sammy, she's really nice girl when you get to know her."

"I've told you this for years sis; I'm usually right."

"You little shit, give you a compliment on your judgment, and you find a way to be an asshole. You know that girl wants you, don't you?"

"I think she's more than content to be my friend. What makes you think that she has any other interest in me?"

"Another girl can always tell Sammy. You're just not picking up the signals."

"That's what Barb used to say. I'll explain it to you like I explained it to Roxy, I don't need complications in my life right now and I don't think of her in that way; I just like her as a friend."

"Well it's her loss and my gain. At least I've got you for a little longer."

"What do you mean at ' least for a little longer?"

"Come on Sammy, some girl's gonna come along and catch you after you've gotten over Barbara and you're going to be gone. They're going to realize, as I do, what a great guy you are. Barb was just too stupid or selfish to realize it. When that happens, I'll be more than content to ride into the sunset, knowing that you'll be happy and someone's treating you the way you should be treated."

"Well if she comes along right now, she's not going to get far, because I'm still hurting."