*Author's Note: Any and all persons engaging in any sexual activity are at least eighteen years of age.
*****
Danny Boudreaux did not like Todd Tonicetti, had not liked Todd Tonicetti from the moment his daughter Hillary had brought the young man over to meet him, and certainly had not liked Todd Tonicetti when he found out that his daughter was pregnant with Todd Tonicetti's baby.
"Oh, whatever, Daddy," Darlene Guidry, his eighteen year old girlfriend laughed and kissed him. "You're not going to like any boy that goes out with your daughter."
"Not true," Danny argued. "I like Ryan, Connie's boyfriend."
"Uh, because he worships you?" Darlene asked and leaned heavily against Danny as he rubbed the Vitamin E cream into her pregnant belly.
"His good taste has nothing to do with it; shit, I'm going be late for my next client," Danny said.
"Uh, who's one had to come home for a quickie?" Darlene smiled and hoisted herself to her feet.
"A quick bite to eat," Danny said and slapped her on her widening buttocks.
"Same thing," Darlene giggled.
He passed by Kurt's cage and the cockatoo greeted Danny by telling him he was ugly.
"Might be ugly, you ugly ass feather duster, but I just got laid," Danny agreed and offered Kurt a treat.
Outside, Danny paused to enjoy the autumn air, then unlocked his van and climbed in.
He was surprised; he was actually beginning to enjoy having Darlene Guidry in his trailer, constantly underfoot, constantly in his way, constantly clinging to him. The resentment over her getting pregnant the first time they made love was slowly beginning to slip away. The resentment over her being constantly stoned and drunk, while he went out and busted his ass to support them was slowly beginning to slip away.
She was a mess, but it beat having no one to talk to but a screeching cockatoo.
Then his good mood evaporated as Todd Tonicetti drove his oil burning, gear grinding Nissan past him.
The boy, in Danny's opinion, was a complete waste of organic material. He was chronically unemployed, perpetually stoned, and believed he knew everything. Which was why his car was burning oil and grinding gears. Because Todd knew how to fix it.
"Your daughter's choice," he grimly reminded himself.
Todd also fancied himself as a Guitar God.
"Some guitar god," Danny sneered. "Fucker doesn't even know who Mick Mars is."
Danny drove to Kimble, Louisiana, found Natalie Worthington's house and parked.
"Hi," an attractive strawberry blonde woman answered the door.
"Hi, said your washing machine acting up?" Danny asked as he caught a glimpse of a nude brunette passing from living room to hallway.
"Yeah, and with baby diapers, I really need that machine working," Natalie agreed and glared over her shoulder at Brianna Charles, her lover.
"Well, let's see what we got," Danny agreed as he followed the woman out to the utility room.
"Hi," an adorable two year old girl said, stumbling into the small room.
"Well, hi there!" Danny said. "And what's your name?"
"Say 'my name's Ophelia,'" Natalie coaxed her daughter.
The girl mumbled something that may have been Ophelia, but Danny was already looking for the cause of the machine's malfunction. In a moment,
He saw what part he would need.
He went out to his van, located the part, and returned to the house.
Again, he caught a glimpse of a nude Brianna Charles, large breasts bobbling as the woman scampered out of the room.
"Brianna, damn it!" Natalie yelled.
"Brianna, damn it!" Ophelia parroted.
He installed the part, reattached the hoses and slid the bulky machine into place.
"Yay!" Natalie laughed as the machine gurgled into life.
"Ask him about the TV," Brianna called out from the hallway.
"You wouldn't know how to do televisions, huh?" Natalie asked.
"Yeah; actually how I got started," Danny agreed. "Some dumb ass shit for brains think if you fix one, you can't fix the other, but, if it's got a cord attached, I usually can figure it out."
"It runs for about forty five minutes then just shuts off," Brianna said, now wearing an extremely short robe that was very loosely fastened.
"And let me guess," Danny said. "It never happens during commercials. It only happens when he's about to kick the game winning field goal, or she's about to shoot the abusive husband, or they're about to do 'Final Jeopardy,' right?"
"How'd you know?" Natalie laughed.
Danny followed the two women into the living room and looked at the wall mounted television.
"Got the remote?" he asked.
"Right here, on the table," Brianna said, bending over to retrieve the device.
"No, uh, not the cable remote," Danny said, enjoying the close up glimpse of the young woman's nicely rounded buttocks and thatch of brown pubic hair. "The uh, the remote that came with the television."
Brianna looked on a bookshelf, even squatted, with her legs spread wide, and then shook her head.
"Y'all put it, at the right height, for a certain little girl to get her hands on it?" Danny suggested.
"I'll go check," Brianna volunteered.
"Must be psychic," Brianna praised, returning with the remote in hand, her robe fluttering loose.
"And..." Danny said and entered the code.
He went through the settings, then smiled widely.
"Uh huh, seems a certain young lady set the 'Snooze' function for forty seven minutes for y'all," he said.
He wrote out the bill for the labor and the parts for the washing machine, but did not charge for the television repair.
"Oh no, we got to pay you something," Natalie insisted.
"What?" Danny smiled. "Took me all of two minutes?"
He thanked Natalie for the twenty dollar gratuity, silently thanked Brianna Charles for the unobstructed view of her Double D breasts and brunette thatch, told Ophelia good bye and left the house. As the door closed, he chuckled; he could hear Natalie yelling at her lover about her 'shameless display.'
He had two more repairs in the Kimble and Bender area and completed them, then headed toward his trailer in Jack's Creek, Louisiana.
The moment Danny pulled up to his trailer, he saw his daughter waiting for him, sitting on the small front porch, legs dangling off the edge.
"No, no, and fuck no, no more money," Danny said to himself. "Tell Todd Tonicetti he needs to grow the fuck up and go get a job."
"Daddy, can I..." Hillary said as he got out of the van.
"Can you what, Hillary? Pay me back for the three hundred dollars y'all needed for Todd's car? Why of course you can. Can you pay me back for last month's electric bill? Yes, that would be fine. Can you pay me back for the rent and late fees from July?" Danny said as he got his tools out of the van.
"How much we owe you so far?" Hillary asked after a long moment of silence.
"Twelve hundred and fifty bucks, but who's counting?" Danny said, helping the pregnant girl to her feet.
He kissed his daughter on her lips and playfully swatted her on her backside.
"Sweetheart, you're nineteen, I can't tell you what to do," Danny sighed. "But I can make suggestions."
He unlocked his trailer's door.
"My suggestion? Dump that fucking loser. He's sitting around waiting on some big recording deal that is Neh Ver going to happen. Seriously? Punk ass bitch doesn't even know what a pentatonic scale is but thinks he's some kind of guitar player?" Danny spat.
Hillary entered the clean, comfortable trailer.
"Oh no, here comes trouble," Kurt called out.
"Yeah, you're right, she's trouble, but she's my daughter, so be nice, huh?" Danny agreed.
"Shut up, Daddy," Hillary laughed.
"Hey; that was quick," Darlene said, letting out a lungful of marijuana smoke.
"Just a couple of quick fixes," Danny agreed.
"So, what's Todd need this time?" Danny asked as Hillary slumped down on the couch next to Darlene.
"Doesn't need shit," Hillary said, pretty face darkening.
Danny put his tools next to the front door.
"Really? We bummed twelve hundred bucks from you?" Hillary asked as Darlene crushed out the remnants of her joint.
"And fifty," Danny said. "Don't forget about the fifty."
"And probably more than that from Mom," Hillary said.
"Yeah, but it doesn't bother me when you bum money from her," Danny joked and went into the hall bathroom.
"Daddy," Hillary giggled.
He finished, washed his hands, then stepped back into the living room.
Both girls were sharing a joint and Danny realized an odd thing. Hillary was blonde, Darlene a brunette, but both girls looked almost identical. Hillary's chest was slightly larger than Darlene's, but she was also one month further along in her pregnancy than Darlene.
But both girls had the same rounded faces, the same pug nose, the same spattering of freckles and the same adorable smiles.
"Seriously, what do y'all need the money for?" Danny asked.
"Rent again and we're already what? Five days behind?" Hillary said as she let out the lungful of smoke.
"Again, Hillary, I can't tell you what to do, but I can suggest," Danny sighed. "Really? Y'all are already five days behind? And this is the first I'm hearing about it?"
"He uh, he thought he was uh, was going to get this call back from Satanation," Hillary said. "They're this heavy metal..."
"Group out of Hardinton Acres," Danny agreed. "Guitar player committed suicide what? Last week? Week before?"
"Yeah, you've heard of them?" Hillary asked.
"Terry? My buddy? He's their manager," Danny agreed.
He scrolled through his phone.
"Terry, you ugly and your momma dresses you funny," Danny said into his phone.
"Like women would ever talk to each other like that," Hillary giggled to Darlene.
"You ugly and your momma dresses you funny," Darlene said and laughed when Hillary pinched her on her butt.
A minute later Danny disconnected.
"Terry says Todd blew the gig, blew it hard," Danny informed Hillary. "They were trying to show him the chords for a song and he was just trying to impress them with how fast he can play."
"So, what am I going to do?" Hillary asked Danny.
"Again, Sweetheart, I can't tell you what to do; both you and your mother made that crystal clear," Danny sighed and declined the joint that Darlene held out to him. "But I can suggest, and I suggest you tell Todd Tonicetti to grow the fuck up and go get a real job."
He pointed to Hillary's baby bump.
