[Β©2010 BY CLINTON09; ALL CHARACTERS OVER THE AGE OF 18; NO EVENTS DESCRIBED ARE TRUE]
The Couples in Heaven contest had been organized, partially with my father's work. Mom's "old man" as I called him got the first two tickets for that South Pacific adventure. What he had called for was a relaxing interlude for married couples (only) with activities to pass the time and make the event memorable. He did not know that a committee at the corporation had altered the promotion slightly. Without that knowledge, he went to my beautiful 42 year old mother, with whom he now had chilly relations, and gave her the travel brochure. She said, "wait, I don't understand, are we going somewhere?"
He said, "No, not 'we'...you are going, and you will take your overmuscled gorilla of a son with you as stand-in for me. I have a conference to go to"(always his excuse; he actually had a mousy girlfriend on the side named Clara).
"And why am I going to this" mom asked.
He said, "I was one of the key organizers of this promotion; if I don't show up or even if we simply fail to have a great time, it will be very embarrassing; I might get fired. The funny thing is, the staff down there don't know who I am, so if your house-trained ape of a son doesn't climb the building, they will 'buy' the fact that I was with you. All in all, the only thing that can go wrong is sunburn or too much buffet. The one thing is you must go there, and you must stay the 3 days. If you don't, I get fired and we lose the house and everything. 3 days...mandatory"
Mom said, "ok, ok, 3 days..."
"And one more thing," he added, "under no circumstances...that's NO circumstances...will you tell the staff down there that you are anything but the couple on the tickets, you know, you and me."
He didn't even see us off but instead went his merry way as usual. My gorgeous mother broke the news to me that I would be tied down with my old bag of a mother at some seaside resort. I said, "wow, that sounds great, but the final four are playing in basketball and I have a ticket for 2 games, and..."
Mom said, "I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important; your father.."
"You mean your old man..." I chimed in.
"'Yes, that old man, he's said we have to go and we have to stay the 3 days and we cannot under any circumstances reveal that we aren't, well, he and I. So, sorry, pack up and let's go."
I might as well tell you that--up until that moment--I had been a very well behaved boy all of my 18 years. I never once snuck a peak at my mom or tried to kiss her for more than a peck goodnight. When she came to the pool in her old-fashioned Catalina bathing suit, I should've gotten excited, hell, rock hard. I mean at 42 mom still had a great figure, with boobs that defied gravity, a trim waist, beautiful legs, and her oh so sexy feet. If anyone had objections to her looks, it was other women, younger women. Mom had a certain 'jiggle' to her as she walked that younger, 'smaller' women couldn't match. Other women thought it scandalous and in poor taste that a woman of her age would let her nipples poke out so prominently. Like I said, I should've gotten excited, even rock hard, over mom. But until the vacation, it never happened. Of course, I'm sure that subconsciously I was taking note of mom's good figure, shapely legs and smooth, sexy feet with those little red toes. But as the good son, I never once reacted.
We got on the plane, and were surprised and delighted to be in the forward 1st class cabin, a 1st for mom and me. We never had cracked crab or pina coladas, certainly not for lunch. When we landed we were whisked off by limousine to the hotel compound. The hotel complex was two projects, a classic hotel plus a beach resort. We of course would stay at the seaside resort.
At this time I guess I should tell you that unknown to mom's old man, the company had changed the promotion, from Couples in Heaven. Mom noticed that on the tickets (though my father didn't before he handed them in an envelope to mom) when we were in the air and she opened the tour package: the promotion was now: Couples Coupling, an adventure in intimacy and procreating. She thought that maybe it was a series of seminars and instructional films. It couldn't be anything else...could it? She remembered that he ordered her to come here, and ordered her to stay, and demanded that under no circumstances could she tell them that he wasn't there.
Getting out of the limousine, which by the way was no Lincoln but a converted Jeep of all things, we were treated with flower lei's and directed to our bungalow, our luggage quietly handled. They said we would be on an itinerary so as to schedule all the 3 days' events. At least we had 3 hours to get over jet lag and unpack before dinner.
Mom thanked me for not complaining in coming along and giving up that "once in a lifetime" set of tickets for the final four. She said she promised to make it up to me, somehow.
I told her,"that is OK."
She said, "You're a dear" and blew me a kiss, mouthing the words, "I love you" before slipping her feet out of the grass sandals we were given at the hotel lobby. As I closed my eyes to rest, I popped them back to sneak a peek at mom.
Jeez, I thought...I've got a beautiful mother! To think that I'm forced to be cooped up with her for a 72 hour vacation...that would appeal to a lot of guys. But, I'm not one of them. I mean, I had HEARD about relatives getting it on, even mothers and sons. Yikes, I thought, how COULD they!? Well, I drifted off to sleep...
Dinner gong; the intercom said dinner in 30 minutes, in our cabin. Put on outfit number 1. We went to our respective closets (for him and her) and big cardboard number tags on bundled outfits. Number one were these full length linen robes. There were no underclothes for them.
An exotic looking Asian lady arrived with the dinner; the cart was brought in by a restaurant worker who left immediately. The lady, about 50, said, "I will feed you and show you how to feed each other." About halfway thru dinner, we were feeding each other steak morsels simultaneously, nipping the sizzling chunks of beef with our teeth. It was fantastic and in the middle of it, unannounced, mom kissed me...I mean hard, and for a full minute. I was stunned and speechless. The Asian woman was delighted: "I am glad you becoming intimate again; perhaps by end of night you start your new family". With that, she rolled the dinner cart out herself, bowing as she went. Mom looked at me, and showed me the tickets.
She said, "So it is what that says...and the funny thing is, he demanded that we go, demanded that we stay, and demanded that we can't explain we are mother and son in order to leave. Well, Mal, we will stay. Who knows what will happen." At that moment I flipped on the cable TV and ESPN reported that in the closest game in championship history, my team had won it all. Mom said, "You must be delighted about that.