It's for you, Daddy. All for you. πΈ
πππππππ
His hand is still on my hip when I wake up.
Warm. Steady. Like even in sleep, he can't help but hold on.
I should leave. Mom will be home soon.
I should slip out from under him before the morning ruins this, before he wakes up and his mouth tightens and his body tenses and he starts pretending this was something it wasn't.
But I don't move.
Because his fingers twitch against my skin, and before I can second-guess it, before I can tell myself I imagined it, he exhales slow and pulls me closer.
Not like he's keeping me here.
But like he's finally letting himself want me here.
His lips brush my shoulder, soft, absentminded, like the kind of thing he used to do without thinking.
I don't think he's awake enough to stop himself yet.
And I don't dare breathe too hard in case he realizes what he's done.
But he just sighs, his body heavy against mine, and whispers--
"Go back to sleep, Babygirl."
Like this is normal.
Like I belong here.
Like we do.
And fuck.
I think I might.
He doesn't lock the door anymore, either.
I notice it the next night, when the house is quiet and the only light spilling down the hall comes from the crack under his office door.
It's always locked at night. Always closed. Always a barrier between us, a warning that I shouldn't come any closer. Lately anyway.
But tonight, it's open.
Just a little.
Just enough for me to hear him shift in his chair, sigh like he's been fighting a battle he already lost.
Just enough for me to test it.
I push the door open.
He looks up.
And instead of telling me to leave, instead of gripping the arms of his chair like he's restraining himself, instead of pretending this isn't happening--
He leans back.
His fingers tap once against the desk, slow, thoughtful.
And then, voice quiet--
"Couldn't sleep, baby?"
Like this is normal.
Like this is something he's ready to let himself have.
Like I am.
He touches me so much more now.
Not always in ways that break us.
Sometimes it's a hand at the small of my back when I pass him in the hall. Sometimes it's his fingers brushing mine when he hands me something. Sometimes it's his knuckles grazing my cheek when he tucks my hair behind my ear, like he's reminding himself i'm real.
And sometimes--
Sometimes it's everything.
Like the night I can't sleep, the night I wander into his room without thinking, without worrying about the rules he used to force between us.
The night he just sighs, folds back the covers, and says--
"C'mere, Babygirl."
And when I crawl in beside him, he pulls me in.
No hesitation. No tension.
Just strong, steady arms wrapping around me like he's done it a hundred times before, like it's easy, like it's second nature.
His chest is warm against my back.
His hand splays over my stomach, anchoring me to him.
And for the first time, I let myself ask.
"Why are you doing this?"
He's quiet for so long I don't think he's going to answer.
But then--
Soft, almost heartbroken--
"Because I missed you."
My throat tightens.
But before I can say anything, before I can tell him I missed him too, before I can turn and look at him--
His grip tightens, and he buries his face in my hair, and he whispers--
"Go to sleep, baby. I've got you."
Like he never stopped being the man who used to tuck me in, who used to hold me close, who used to be mine in a way that had nothing to do with this war we've been fighting.
Like maybe he never wanted to stop at all.
βΈ»
I like that he takes care of me now too. Like really takes care of me.
Not just when he touches me. Not just when he pulls me into his bed, into his arms, into something he swore he'd never let himself have.
But in the small things.
He leaves my water bottle by my door at night.
He brings me coffee in the morning, made exactly the way I like it.
He notices when I don't eat, when I stay up too late, when I need him before I even realize it myself.
And one night, when I come to bed shivering, he just sighs and pulls me under the covers, wrapping his body around mine, pressing warm lips to my temple.
"You need to take better care of yourself, baby."
"You do it for me."
His breath catches.
I don't think he was expecting me to say that.
But then he shifts, his fingers curling under my chin, tilting my face up until our eyes meet.
His thumb traces my cheek.
His voice is quiet when he says it, but I feel it everywhere.
"Yeah. I do."
He kisses me, slow and deep, no rush, no restraint, no hesitation--
It isn't just possession.
It isn't just desire.
It's love.
And I don't think he's afraid of it anymore.
The way he takes me apart
He kisses me like he's starving.