My nephew, Kenny, has always been a sweet boy. Even when he was in elementary school, he was eager to help his parents whenever they asked. When my husband, Frank, died in an auto accident, Kenny offered to forego his high school graduation to be with me in my time of sorrow. Of course, I declined his offer—you only graduate once from high school, with all of the parties and general sense of finally becoming an adult. But I appreciated his kindness and we remained close, although he had gone away to college.
It was during his first spring break that Kenny gave me a gift that changed my life.
"Hi, Aunt Jill," he said cheerfully over the phone. "Mom says you need a door repaired in your garage. Can I come over and fix it?" That very afternoon, he was diligently finishing up the work on the garage door when I walked in with some iced tea. As we talked, Kenny saw through my smiles to the sadness in my eyes.
"What's wrong, Aunt Jill?"
"I'm sorry, Kenny. I'm just thinking that it should be Frank standing there."
He looked at me and I could tell he felt awkward listening to the lament of his widowed aunt. But as we talked, he seemed more at ease and I felt OK to share my feelings about lost companionship, lost touches, lost love. At 41, I was down on myself, on my looks, on my chances of being happy with a man again.
"Do you have a camera?" he asked, out of the blue. I remembered the small digital one that Frank bought a week before he died. I don't think he ever used it. I tried it a couple of times, though, at birthday parties and a couple of weddings. I'm not very good, but the camera delivered acceptable photos.
"I do," I said.
"Could you get it, please?" he asked.
"Why?"
"I just want to try something," he said with a smile.
I went back into the house and returned several minutes later. I gave him the camera. He fiddled with it and then turned it on.
"May I take your picture, Aunt Jill?"
"Why do you want to do that?"
"I just want to show you something. Could you step over there by the workbench?"
I was puzzled but I did as he asked.
"Smile," he said. He shot three pictures, and then looked at the LCD screen on the back. "Just as I thought," he said.
"What?"
"You are a pretty woman with a great smile. Here, look." Kenny walked over to me and clicked through the three shots. "Don't tell me you're over the hill," he said, chuckling.
"You're just lucky," I said. "Usually, I break the camera." I had to admit, though, that I didn't look bad.
"Let's try a couple more," he said, backing away from me. "Please turn toward the window a little bit." The attention that Kenny was paying to me made me feel good. For that moment, I was his model and he was doing his best to capture what he saw.
"Can I ask you something, Aunt Jill?"
"Sure," I said, smiling at my personal photographer.
"Will you unbutton your shirt and let it hang open?"
"Did you just ask me to unbutton my shirt?" I said with a tremor in my voice.
"Yes," he said, looking right in my eyes. But he couldn't hold my gaze. There was silence in the garage. Neither of us moved. Finally, he spoke.
"I'm sorry I said that. But you're sexy and I just wanted you to see that in the photos. You seemed so down on yourself earlier." He looked very contrite.
"I'm flattered that you think I'm sexy, Kenny. But I am your aunt, you know."
"I know... I was stupid. But I wanted you to be happy. I still do." He looked like he wanted to say something more. Then he did. "I still would like you to unbutton your shirt," he said in a strong, assured voice.
It had been a long time, more than a year. But the rush was undeniable. Just a little wouldn't be bad. Or would it? I hesitated. Kenny kept looking at me. And then I surrendered. I lowered my eyes and slowly reached for a button. Then another. And then another. After the final two were undone, I straightened up and automatically pulled my shoulders back. My shirt pulled apart a bit, revealing the middle of my white bra. Kenny took one shot.
"Could you turn your back to me, Aunt Jill?"
"Yes," I said, softly, as I faced the workbench.
"Could you drop your shirt off your shoulders?" I did as I was told. "Turn your head and look at the camera." CLICK! "Now turn and face me," he said. As I did, my shirt slipped down to my elbows. "Smile," he said. CLICK!
My heart was racing. I could feel a little moisture on my forehead. Kenny moved to get a shot from the side.
"You look great, Aunt Jill."