If my wife Jen is a perfect 10, then my mother-in-law Sue is the perfect 20. My wife is a 5-2 pocket rocket, blonde, athletic, funny as anything and super cute. Her mom is the same height, packs twice the body weight and double the attitude. She's like a carbon copy of Jen from the tip of her head to her shoulders, then everything gets bigger as you go south. Kind of like the outside Russian doll version of my wife.
We clicked from day one and she often joked that if she'd be ten years younger or I'd been ten years older ... We are like two peas at any family function, stuck together in the corner, thick as thieves, jawing and joking (which generally involved passing crude remarks about our various relatives as they walked by). Jen regularly jokes that the pair of us should get a room.
So, this all takes place during our annual vacation. We'd rented a cabin in the woods. Yeah, not one of those sort. This thing was more like a hunting lodge. Must've had about fifteen rooms. Turned out to be just as well because the kids all wanted one each and Sue's husband was granted his own pad by dint of his sleep apnea.
Cutting a very long story, very short. Jen's dad, Pete and I tied one on at the resort bar one night. The evening had started with a family dinner in the resort restaurant and slowly disintegrated into a hooch fest for Pete and me. We get along almost as well as I get one with Sue. And we're always pushing each other to try more, do more, drink more.
Downside was, we hit every tree and sign and fencepost between the resort center and our cabin. Thankfully without the aid of an automobile.
Back at the cabin, Pete and I bumped and tripped and slipped our way to the bar for a nightcap, and completely inebriated, finally said our good nights, and struggled off to bed. What happened next is a bit of a blur.
I opened my bedroom door like a ninja and tiptoed inside. Stripping off quickly and as quietly as possible, I only almost faceplanted into the wall once pulling off a stuck trouser leg. Then I slid stealth like under the sheets. The air outside had been cool, and my body immediately gravitated towards the furnace in the middle of the bed. I threw my arm over the shoulder I found there and drifted off to sleep.
The deep, peaceful sleep of the truly drunk overcame me quickly and soon I was dreaming. I don't remember much of what staggered through my dream-mind but, even in my sodden state, I was aware of something sexual. Rising to the surface, I awoke with the bewildered half-sense of the soon-to-be-hungover. At first, nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary. I was still lying on my side, arm over the furnace. As my mind flooded back into my body, I became aware of two things, my erection, and the sense of tickling its tip was encountering.
At first, I took it to be the effects of the booze. But slowly I became aware of tiny whimpers coming from my bunkmate. That's when I realized my erect cock had squirreled its way between the thighs of person beside me and said person was somewhat hairy, and ever so gently, moving their body back and forth on my dick.
The sensation was a thoroughly pleasant if slightly alien one for me, and pleasant too for my bed fellow if the tiny sounds of excitement were to be believed.
I couldn't figure it out so scrabbled about on the bedstand for my phone. Then, remembering the state I was in when I undressed, fished about on the floor till I located my trouser pocket and grabbed my phone.
I flicked on the torch and stuck it and my head under the covers. What greeted me was the most amazing and voluminous behind I have ever seen. It was porcelain white and round like two big Halloween pumpkins sitting side by side on the porch. Towards where the two pumpkins met, I could see dark hairs poke out, and with a little shimmying, detected my first glimpse of the promised land.
I didn't know what to do. I was obviously in the wrong bed in the wrong room. In my drunken state, I must've miscounted doors and popped into my mother-in-law's boudoir. I panicked and tried to figure out how I could extricate myself without detection.
Then it crossed my mind that I hadn't been the solitary participant in the events that woke me. But that meant Sue was joining in. Holy shit, she must think I'm Pete, half-cut looking for a little bit of action. I had another look. I could see tiny reflections of my torchlight winking back at me from within the bush at the base of the pumpkins. Double holy shit, I thought. She's turned on. In her sleep! How on earth was I going to slip out on this. And with a raging boner to boot.
I took another look. This did not help the boner issue one bit. Quite the opposite. What made it worse, I could smell her. A blend of floral perfume, soap and sexual juices combined in a heady mix that replaced the oxygen under the sheet with some kind of aphrodisiac. I took a deep breath. My brain, bags already packed, hung a gone fishing sign on the door, and with a backward wave muttered "you're on your own, fellah."
The warmth emanating from the buttocks combined with the aforementioned miasma had sent me lightheaded. I inched down a little closer to catch a better look. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity to see the place from which my beloved wife was birthed.
Just then, Sue shifted her topmost leg slightly forward and upward in the bed, revealing all to me. I saw the unkempt bush, the curtains of pink lips like a renaissance oyster, the glistening of lust. I saw her dark puckered asshole and the fuzz of tiny black hairs that surrounded it and flowed along her perineum to join the forest beyond. The glorious odor increased in intensity and my cheeks flushed with what little blood hadn't flooded my cock.
I took another deep breath and sighed. It briefly crossed my mind that I should take a video or picture for future wankings, but chivalry staid my hand. Sighing, I began to slink my way sideways away from the magnificent sight, unable to drag my gaze away as I departed. I'd barely made it a foot, when a voice broke the silence.
"Are you just going to stare at it all night or do something about it?"
I froze. A thousand thoughts collided with each other in my head, cancelling each other out, leaving me stricken dumb.
The massive buttocks shifted towards me in the bed, even more revealing than before.
"Sue?" I whispered. "It's me. John."
Silence.
"Em, I hopped into the wrong bed by mistake. I'll just grab my clothes and we can forget this ever happened. Chalk it down to one too many Glenmorangie before bed."
That should do it. Beat a gentlemanly retreat to the nearest bathroom where I could ungentlemanly beat my meat.
"You'll do no such thing." The voice whispered back.
"You can't start something you're not willing to finish."
My mind was whirling again. Had Sue just ordered me to ... to what?
"Sue. It's John. Not Pete."
"I know that. Pete hasn't had anything that hard for me in ten years."
I gasped.
"Now. Seeing as though you're down there ..."
I didn't know what to do. I was always brought up to never disrespect your elders. But Jen would kill me.
"Jen would kill me." I answered weakly.
"Oh, fiddlesticks." She snapped. "Jen thinks we got it together years ago."
"What?"
"She's mentioned as much to me on more than one occasion."
"Why on earth would she think that?" Being in the position I was now in, this turn in the conversation left me reeling.
"Oh, because we obviously like each other so much. And you're always staring at my butt."
"I do not."
"So, what are you doing right now?"
"Point taken. But this was ... an accident."
"A pleasant and overdue one." She continued, back still to me.
"But I can't do that to Jen."
"You can and you do. I know, I've heard you going at it. And now I want you to do it to me."
"But..."
"Consider it a personal favor. To your dear old mother-in-law."
"Sue, this isn't painting the kitchen walls. This is infidelity."
"Trust me, you have a pass on this one."
"What do you mean?"
"Jen. She'll be fine with it. You can tell her I told you."
"Told me?"
"When she asked me before if we'd been ... intimate, she told me she wouldn't mind. She knows Pete's not been up for much since his hernia. And she knows it would make me happy. You too, for that matter."
"Jen said that?"
"As much as."
Without realizing it, as we talked, I'd been inching back down and inward on the bedsheet. I was now addressing my conversation to Sue's magnificent ass.
I teetered on a pivotal moment for what felt like five minutes.
Then tentatively stuck my tongue out.
The tip grazed her pubes and we both shivered. Then my conscience kicked back in.
"No, Sue. Much as I 'd like to, I can't."
To show I was serious, I slipped out of bed and sat on the edge, preparing to pick up my clothes and scarper. Then the unexpected happened. Another voice rang out, not whispering.
"For god's sake, John, just give her one and we can all get some sleep."
I hit the flashlight on my phone again and the room lit up.
Jen sat up in the bed on the other side of her mother, rubbing her eyes. Her bare breasts looked anemic in the torchlight.
"What are you doing in Sue's room?" I asked stupidly.
"I'm not. She's in our bed. Waiting for you. Or at least she was until you passed out."
"What are you talking about?"
"You really are slow, aren't you?"
"I'm giving you to my mom for the night."
"You're what? And what if I don't want to?"
"Well, I think that tent pole you've got there makes that question academic."
"But, why?"
"Because she deserves a treat. And because then you get it out of your system."
"And you never thought to ask me?"
"You don't really want to have that conversation now, do you?"
"Um..."
"Because I can tell little John doesn't."
"But I can't ... not in front of you."
"You mean you want to screw my mother behind my back?"
"That's not what I meant."
"Christ sake, just give her a good time and don't mind me." She turned her back to me and settled down to sleep, blocked once more by her mother's girth.
Sue, meanwhile, turned onto her back and with the bedsheet having been thrown back by me, was now completely naked in my torch.
Rubenesque is the word that sprang to mind. The other side of curvy. Her patch of dark, grey-flecked pubic hair stark contrast to her white skin. She looked at me with wild lust in her eyes. I say me. She was staring at my penis, virtually licking her lips.
In for a penny, I thought --
"So, what happens next?"
"What was that, mom?" Jen turned round in the front seat of the car to look at her mom in the backseat. I kept my eyes on the road, concentrating so hard, I'd barely even heard Sue's question. I certainly didn't think it was aimed at me.
