I'm not sure exactly when it was I realized my step-father didn't think of me as his kid. I had always considered him to be my dad since he had been around since I was a baby and I never knew my real father. At some point though it started becoming more and more obvious to me that the feeling was not completely mutual. Not that he ever treated me badly growing up or anything, but there were little things that bothered me at times.
It was particularly clear to me when I watched him interact with my younger sister Julie, who recently turned eighteen. She was my half-sister really, but again she had always been a sister to me and that was the way I saw her. When he talked to her there was an obvious affection in his voice and in his eyes that I had never received.
If Julie and me hadn't gotten along the way we did I think it may have become a serious problem. As it was though I couldn't find it in me to resent her. Much like me she considered me to be her brother regardless of what our actual genes were and never made so much as an offhand remark about our parentage.
Which is not to say we didn't ever fight. I don't think anyone who grew up with one or more siblings can honestly say they have never fought about anything. The difference to me was that there was never any serious problem between us that lasted for any great length of time.
Possibly our closeness actually bothered dad because as we grew older he became more and more 'concerned' about us spending too much time together. We were absolutely not allowed to sleep in the same room and even if we did something like stay up late watching a movie he would stay up too until we went to bed despite it making him cranky the next day.
I didn't understand what that was all about until I was probably about sixteen or seventeen. To me of course Julie was not just another girl, but I don't think dad realized that. He didn't consider us true siblings and so he assumed that was the way we thought as well.
In my last year of high school dad mentioned me moving out quite frequently. When I decided to go to the local university however mom overruled him as she usually did when things got too out of hand between us. He grudgingly relented but started keeping an even closer eye on me. Things were only getting worse between us and I knew it was just a matter of time before something happened to really piss him off.
Surprisingly it all came down to an unfortunate choice of outfit from my sister. Julie had gone out shopping earlier that day, apparently to buy more clothing for herself despite already having what I considered a more than sufficient wardrobe. I was sitting in my room messing around on my computer when she walked in to show off her favourite purchase.
"You like my new skirt?" she asked.
I had to turn around to see her and as I did she did a twirl to show it off to me.
"It's okay I guess. I don't know where you think you're going to wear something that short though," I answered.
The edge of the skirt only came down about an inch or two past her butt and I knew dad would have a fit about her wearing it around the house, let alone anywhere else. I wasn't particularly happy about the idea of her wearing it around random guys either when it came right down to it.
"It's for just in case," Julie shrugged. "Never know when I might need something sexy. Besides, I'm old enough I can wear what I want."
"That's what you think."
"Oh right, what are you going to do about it?" she challenged me with a raised eyebrow.
Thinking she made her point Julie turned to leave and as she did I grabbed her wrist and pulled her back toward my bed. As she recovered her balance I quickly moved between her and the doorway, blocking her exit.
"What you think I can't stop you?" I asked.
She smirked and tried to walk past me but I gave her a gentle shove back.
"Hey, let me out," she demanded, with a hint of a giggle creeping into her voice.
"Tell me you won't wear that skirt," I countered.
Julie shook her head defiantly and tried to lunge past me but I grabbed her and started mercilessly tickling her sides where I knew she was most vulnerable.
"Lemme go you jerk," she shrieked, pounding ineffectually at my shoulder.
"You promise?"
"Okay okay, argh, stop it," she said breathlessly as I finally relented.
As soon as I let go Julie made another dash for the hallway. I just barely managed to catch her around the waist and spun around to toss her on the bed. She propped herself up on her elbows and grinned at me as I smiled cautiously back, waiting for her next move.
Her skirt had pulled up when she landed on the bed and the bottom of her panties was clearly visible. That fact barely registered to me until I heard the strangled sound of someone clearing their throat behind me. Then I knew I was in trouble.
"What the hell is going on?" demanded our father, slowly enunciating every word.
"Just messing around," I said, stepping back from the bed.
"I was just showing him my new-" Julie started.
"Julie, out," he said, cutting her off.
"Daddy," she protested.
"Julie!"
She stood up and made her way past me, tossing me a worried glance as she went. She knew as well as I did that I would be catching some flak for this one, never mind how innocent it actually had been.
"I want you out of this house," he told me as soon as Julie was out of earshot.
"Oh for fuck's sake," I said, not bothering to watch my language. "You know we weren't doing anything right?"
"You have a week," he said, ignoring me completely.
"Fine whatever. Might even be nice not to have you looking over my shoulder all the time. You never trusted me at all, did you?"
"One week," he repeated and stalked away.
"Makes me wonder how you'd treat Julie if she weren't yours either," I called after him, baiting him purposefully.
He looked like he was going to stop for a second, but shrugged it off and continued downstairs.
I sighed and flopped down on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. It had been coming for a long time but I still hadn't expected to have to leave so suddenly. I didn't even have clue about trying to find somewhere else to live. I almost didn't even notice Julie quietly reenter the room after a few minutes.
"Sorry," she apologized as she sat down beside me. "I didn't mean for that to happen. I thought he was still outside."
She had changed out of her skirt and into a pair of jeans, probably for the best.
"It's not your fault, it would have happened eventually anyway," I said. "You heard the whole exchange I take it."
"Yeah," she nodded. "But I think me and mom can still get him to change his mind after he cools off."
"Thanks Julie, but it's only going to get worse if I stay around," I said. "Might not be such a bad thing for me to get out of here anyway."
"Oh," she said, sounding disappointed. "Well, if you think it would be better that way...."
She slid toward the edge of the bed as if to leave.
"Hey, that's not what I mean. I'm not going to be that far away, we'll still be able to see each other. And when we do we won't have to worry about him watching us."
"I guess," she agreed reluctantly. "But it won't be the same, I'll still want you to be here."
"I know, but I think we just have to deal with it. It'll be okay," I promised.
****
In the end I stayed just over another two weeks. Mom refused to let dad kick me out until I had somewhere to go and in fact almost certainly would have made him change his stance completely if I hadn't convinced her not to bother. If I didn't leave then something else would no doubt come up to get him pissed off all over again. I really was tired of his constantly monitoring me.
I managed to find a decent apartment, lucked out really considering I had no idea what I was doing. It was small but relatively cheap and I wouldn't have to put up with a roommate. It was even within decent walking distance of home which meant that it wouldn't much of a problem for Julie to come over.
A few days after I had settled in she did just that.
"Why is mom talking about you dropping out of university," were the first words out of her mouth as I opened the door.
"Fine thanks, how are you?" I responded sarcastically.
Julie shot me a look like she wasn't in the mood as she brushed past me into the apartment.
"Alright, alright," I sighed. "Look, I need to pay for this place and I'm just not up to working and going to classes at the same time. Plus paying for said classes at the same time."
"That's no excuse, our parents were still going to pay for school and the apartment."
"Oh yeah, like I'm going to take his money now," I snorted.
"It's not just him, it's mom too and she doesn't want to see you working some crap minimum wage job. Hurts her enough that you and dad can't get along."
I knew mom would be upset about my decision but I hadn't expected Julie to care so much. I could tell by the way she stood that she was prepared to argue this with me as long as it took.
"Look, it's not-" I started.
"At least do it for me," she interrupted.
We stared at each other for several long moments in silent defiance. As I knew would happen right from the beginning I blinked first, so to speak, and turned my head away.
"Please," she pleaded softly.
She walked into my opened arms and hugged me tightly as I returned the embrace more out of reflex than anything.
"Dammit Julie," I whispered. "You know it's hard for me to say no to you."
"I know. It's better this way though, you'll see."
She looked up at me from her two inch disadvantage in height and gave me a tentative smile. I shook my head in exasperation, more at myself than at her, and shoved her lightly away. Her grin grew more confident as she realized that I wasn't really mad at her and she turned away to study the apartment.
"It's not a bad place is it?" she remarked.
"No, it's pretty good."
