Let's get the formalities out of the way. My name is Cole. As Dennis Leary so eloquently put it, "I'm just a regular Joe with a regular job." 5'11, 190 lbs. Average body, average, well, you know. Just average.
I was a late bloomer. It wasn't until I was almost 17 that testosterone kicked in. I went from being short (5'4") and fat (160 lbs) to what I am now so fast that my wardrobe couldn't keep up. I stopped being the class reject, but never really lost my social awkwardness.
I did have one thing going for me. As a child, some of the mothers complained that the prettiest child in the class was a boy. I didn't have model good looks, but I would get women's attention. The trouble came with who the attention was coming from or whether I could, or should, keep it. I had my fair share of dates, relationships, and bedroom partners, but the serious ones always ended in disaster.
My problem was breaking the ice. I literally couldn't do it. Every woman I dated I met through friends, at work or school, or at a group function. One-on-one, I was hopeless trying to get a woman's number, no matter how obvious her interest in me was.
I had plenty of friends, both male and female. One, in particular, was my cousin, Jesse.
Jesse was just over a year older than me. I grew up in a small town, she in a suburb over an hour away. My mother drug my siblings and I to visit her family fairly often, so Jesse was far from a "distant" cousin.
Jesse never had trouble getting attention. 5'1", 100 lbs. Mid-length brown hair. Long legs. While many men's eyes go straight to a woman's chest, Jesse was so pretty that men didn't notice the fact that she wasn't very well-endowed.
As children, we never got along. Things changed when I started my senior year of high school. I stopped looking like an awkward child. She spent a night with the wrong guy and got pregnant. We started talking more and soon realized we had more in common than not and became close.
A year later, husband #1 arrives in her life, and college and the requisite social life take over mine.
We stayed in touch, and would talk each other's ears off when we were together, but we spent most of our time too busy with our own BS.
That is until right after Jesse turned 37. By this point, she had three kids (Tanya, 18; Riley, 12; Dale, 10). Jesse was no longer the skinny woman she was when she was young, but she carried her weight (120 lbs) very well. But, unlike many women approaching 40, Jesse was even more attractive than when she was younger.
Husband #2, Alex, had just died when the jack stand holding up the truck he was working on broke, crushing him.
Needless to say, Jesse was devastated. I was single at the time, and became her shoulder to cry on. Over the course of the next year, we spent a lot of time together, and I became a fixture at her house.
I never felt shy around Jesse. We would often talk for hours about anything, everything, or nothing at all.
On one of my visits, I was sitting on the couch joking with the kids when Jesse walked in from outside in tears. She was holding a letter from her high school alumni group, inviting her and any "significant other" to her 20-year reunion. Jesse had reconnected with a few of her former classmates after Alex died, and they all insisted on hooking her up with someone they knew to be her plus one, an idea she didn't feel she was ready for and, honestly, dreaded the thought of.
When Jesse composed herself, Tanya, spoke up."Why don't you and Cole go together. I'm sure he wouldn't mind putting on a show for your friends so they will leave you alone about a date."
"Don't be ridiculous. He's my cousin. I can't expect him to go somewhere with me and pretend to be my boyfriend. It will never work."
"Have any of your friends ever met Cole?"
"No."
"Have you ever mentioned him to them?"
"No."
"Then why won't it work? They don't know he's your cousin. His last name and your maiden name are different. The two of you get along great. You're comfortable enough around each other that it won't take much to convince them you're a couple."
"Tanya, no. I appreciate the thought, but we can't. I don't think I could pull it off."
"Mom, you have been saying how much you wanted to go. If you want to go bad enough, I know you can make it work. What do you say, Cole?"
"Jesse, do you REALLY want to go?"
"Yes, but I can't ask you to do that for me."
"Fine. You didn't ask. Tanya did. When do I get to take my favorite cousin on our first date?"
After everyone finished laughing, Jesse finally relented, and we made the plans.
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Two months later, I pulled into Jesse's driveway. Tanya answered the door. Her two younger siblings walked out of their mother's bedroom carrying overnight bags. Tanya was going to drop them off at their grandparents' house for the weekend before heading back to college.
I loaded them in Tanya's car, thanked her for helping with the young ones, gave her a big hug, and sent them on their way.
With no kids to worry about at home and me serving as designated driver, Jesse was free to enjoy herself as much as she wanted.
I walked back into the house just as Jesse was walking out of her bedroom. When she stepped into view, I swallowed. HARD.
Jesse was wearing a dark red wrap dress that ended mid-thigh and tightly hugged her hips. The dress was open just enough that you could tell she wasn't wearing a bra. She had on black leather knee-high boots with four inch heels and a pearl necklace. Her hair was dangling just below her shoulders and, as usual, she had on just enough makeup to accentuate her features.
She was stunning.
"I take it you like what you see."
"I always do."
She gave me a huge hug and kissed me on the cheek.
"I can't thank you enough for doing this for me."
"Thank me later. As soon as we walk out the door, I'm no longer your cousin. For the next however many hours, I'm your date. I want you to enjoy yourself like you would on any other date. Agreed?"
"As you wish."
I grabbed my coat, opened the door, and we were off.
Once we were on the road, I put my right arm on the center console of the car. Jesse put her hand on top of mine and wrapped her fingers in mine.
"I have to get used to this idea of you being my date."
"You will do just fine."
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The reunion was held in a reception hall at a fancy, high-rise hotel downtown. One of Jesse's friends was married to the hotel manager. Such are the perks.
We dropped the car off at the valet station and walked through the lobby towards the reception area.
When we got in line at the reception table, I spotted three women with huge smiles on their faces walking our way. I put my hand on Jesse's back and started lightly drumming the base of her neck with my fingertips. It had the desired effect of getting her ticklish, and she started giggling. She pulled me down to where she could whisper in my ear.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"You never get a second chance to make a first impression."
"Jesse!!!!! We were afraid you would stand us up. Please introduce us to the dapper young gentleman who seems to have your attention."
"Dana, this is Cole. Cole, meet Dana, Lauren and Brooke."
The pack of hens exchanged hugs with Jesse and handshakes with me, eyeing the pair of us up in the process.
"I'm sure the pleasure will be all mine, ladies."
Lauren, in a thick, fake, country accent, said, "Hurry up, girl. You got some splainin' to do. Now I see why you wouldn't let us hook you up wit nobody!"
The threesome turned, laughing, and returned to their dates.
Jesse gave me a sideways stare.
I put my mouth up to her ear and whispered, "Remember, I'm not your cousin tonight. You have to trust me and give me a little leeway. They think we've only been seeing each other a few months. If you want them to believe we're a new couple, we have to be a little playful with each other or they will smell a rat."
Right about then, Brooke turned and looked in our direction. Jesse started laughing. I acted like I kissed her behind the ear, and she impishly swatted at one of my hands and blushed.
------
It took me over an hour to get Jesse to feel comfortable acting like we were a couple. As always, conversation between us, whether with her friends or by ourselves, came easy. It was the subtle gestures that new couples do that she would always forget.
If we were talking to someone, I would have to prod her to move a little in front of me so I could put my hand on her waist and not look awkward. I wrote a note on a napkin telling her, the next time she wanted to get close to me so I could hear her, she should put her hand on the back of my neck.
Gradually, as the alcohol and conversations started to flow, she started to get the hang of it, and I could tell she was losing her reservations about being amorous with me.
At one point, she walked up behind the chair where I was sitting, put her hand on my shoulder, kissed my cheek (a little longer than you would a relative), and quietly said,
"I haven't had this much fun in as long as I can remember."
I guided her to sit on my leg.
"I overheard Brooke and Dana talking about how cute we are as a couple."
"If only they knew."
"I won't tell if you don't."
She chuckled, then locked eyes with me.
"You know, you shouldn't be looking at me like that."
"I'm not the only one."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"In case you haven't noticed, every man in here has been staring at you."
"That's no excuse."
"I wouldn't be playing my part if I didn't."
I gently kissed her earlobe.
Jesse wagged her finger in my face.
"Behave, young man."
She stood up.
"No thank you," I said as she started to walk away, and I swatted the back of her leg, acting like I was aiming for her backside.