I Was an Incest Fantasy Addict

1

That evening is the time we decide, off the cuff, to have that talk. Ed tells me he wants to talk while we're eating, but I put him off, not thinking anything about it. He tries again when we're in front of the television. Now I have nothing to fill my mouth, to act as the perfect distraction...

And I am very aware of the innuendoes you can all come up with off the back of that last statement!

Ed turns down the volume and says that he wants us both to be open and honest with each other, and that if anything feels embarrassing, then it won't be after we've gotten it off our chests. I'm apprehensive to say the least, but he's my baby boy at the end of the day and I do trust him and love him.

Then he asks me if I want to go first, as in to ask the first question. About what, I ask. He tells me that we should probably talk about my porn habits, because he's aware that they can be unhealthy if they're not kept in check.

'I'm not talking about porn habits,' I refuse somewhat guiltily, remembering that I did get off on watching my own son masturbating, while also daydreaming about helping him...

Before masturbating to the idea of what it would be like to have hot sex with him!

'Mom, we laughed it off the last time, but it's obvious you were really uncomfortable with me knowing,' Dr Phil Jr. points out.

'Well duh, maybe because it was embarrassing for my son to find out,' I say.

'Because of the nature of what you're into?' he asks.

'Well yes there's that,' I say dumbly and lower my eyes to avoid his.

'I already told you that it's fine,' Ed reassures me. 'I like that stuff too if it makes you feel better...'

And there we have it, ladies and gents. Ed says it like it is. That explains everything.

'So that's why you were masturbating and moaning my name this morning,' I say defiantly, as though I've just solved the crime of the century - me, the worst hypocrite of all.

'You were there!' he calls me out, growing suddenly animated in his insinuation.

'I was there, you sick puppy, how could you?'

'I'm not ashamed, mom, you're very attractive,' he says. The little shit. 'Besides,' he adds, 'what's your excuse?'

He's not getting away with this. It's slipping through my fingers. I'm a dental hygienist not a fucking lawyer and it's all going terribly wrong already. 'I told you, Ed, I didn't want this discussion.'

'You like fantasising about sons and their moms, big deal,' he says. 'Do you fantasise about us?'

'I...' DON'T SAY IT!! 'I...' NOOOOO!!

I cross my arms and tighten my lips together.

'Mom, I just admitted that I do!' He's about to lose his temper. I can't stand it when he loses his temper. It's not my responsibility.

'I have done once or twice,' I whisper ashamedly. Silence...

I storm off to the kitchen to make a drink, to do anything that gets me out of his spotlight, before he grills me lobster red. He's followed me. I hear his voice, full of guilt and regret. 'Mom, I'm sorry, I don't want you to feel bad,' he promises. 'All I wanted was to make sure that you don't feel guilty and that you know there's nothing wrong with it. If it helps, I consent to it, okay?'

'What do you mean you consent?' I ask post-ragequit.

'I mean, if you like fantasising about us, then go for it. I'm flattered and amazed that we like the same thing...'

'Answer me one question then, Ed,' I take charge for once. 'You tell me when you got into this stuff, because I don't even remember how I did if I can be honest. I got bored and it just sort of ended up that way.'

He blows off some hot air, surveys the floor as he thinks carefully, and then gradually he makes up his mind to tell me with a "what the hell" kinda shrug. 'It was all over my laptop when I came back home. At first I was kinda shocked, like no way you could be into this stuff, and I felt bad because when I was a kid I was worried about why I used to have fantasies about my own mother...'

'That's normal for a kid,' I soften the blow.

'It's normal for everyone these days. You've seen it yourself. People all over the place are getting into it. But after a while it affected me and it excited me to think that you were affirming that it was okay. So I started to enjoy it too. When I got my own laptop I joined a few of your sites too. It's just sort of taken over everything else.'

My face must have been a sight to behold. Ed laughed and shrugged some more and said, 'well there you go, mom. We both share the same kinks. Is that so bad?'

I should have had the answer then. But I didn't see any. Was it so bad that we were wired the same way? We were blood after all. And although I did feel a weight lifted off my chest, I also felt more like something else had replaced it, and I didn't know what. My heart was lighter in weight, but heavier with a sense of grounding, or gravity, if that makes sense?

2

From that point on we grew a lot more relaxed around each other. But in actual fact it was way more than just relaxed. The more we joked about our filthy little secret and laughed it off, the less I worried about it. I wasn't concerned with the light flirting either because I hadn't seen Ed this happy since he got married.

He wasn't the only horny teenager around the house, but whereas I still maintained my privacy, he started "sleeping" with the door open a lot more. Notably, his slippery wet masturbation sessions started to get a little louder, a little showy. I had the feeling he was trying to show off, and to encourage me to get into it.

And as the flirting got a little more touchy and verbally suggestive - things like telling me I was hot and to "flaunt it more in those tights", while trying to assert himself more as the man of the house - all I saw was an adorable dork who wasn't afraid to show off.

That was certainly the case when one night, as I was enjoying listening to him pleasure himself, he sent me a picture of his rock hard cock, up close and in luridly erotic detail. I came just thinking about it. My son was getting into my head and I was falling for it.

The next day he asked me if I liked the message he sent. I slapped him across the arm and stormed off grinning. The next night he did the same, including a little text saying "just thinking happy thoughts of my mom..."

The next morning I caught him at it again, masturbating after I came back from my run. Again I crept to his room and peered over the headboard to see him oozing on the lube and whispering my name. And again I went into the bathroom and masturbated myself into quiet hysterics, fingering myself deeper and deeper.

And then the next week it went up a notch. Another close-up of his huge uncut cock, bathed in lube. This time he chose the racy caption: "imagine this is what I look like after sliding the whole eight inches into my mom's incestuous hot wet pussy XXX"

'THAT'S ENOUGH OUT OF YOU!!' I wailed through the wall.

Twenty minutes later, he received a pic of my used "real feel" vibrator, wet with my juices, saying: "this is what you'd look like!"

3

Another month passed and whereas the flirting had plateaued and the come-ons had somewhat subsided, I was also aware that he wasn't trying so hard. It was cute at first, I'd go so far to say, but just as he was laying off, I was more relaxed and ready to give as good as I got, forgetting the strangeness of these circumstances.

For one I decided with his consent that a little roleplay to fuck with the residents of Motherless would be a good laugh. One night I linked him my user page and invited him to start a thread with me in one of the incest groups. We told our fake story, about how he and I got over the parental boundary and became a mother and son couple.

He started texting me, as I was writing in detail the sex we would have at home, in his mother's bed, and affirmed what I thought.

"Mom, this is too hot. I mean, literally, you know I fantasise about this and you're driving me crazy next door..."

"How crazy, baby?" I replied, then, "Show me if you dare ;-)"

Once again, to add to my file of glorious hard cocks, I was faced with the hardest one yet. My mouth watered this time. I knew very well that crossing the line was getting to be a real and dangerous thing by this point, but my god...

I knocked on his open door ten minutes later, dressed in my snug white cotton robe, giggling after seeing him jump and attempt to hide his raging boner. 'After all I've seen you want to hide now; really?' I asked. Then I remembered my daydream from that first morning...

'Don't stop,' I pleaded. 'I came to watch.'

'Seriously?' he gawked. I nodded, strolling to the side of his bed. Heart racing, thundering, galloping, I tried my best to remain calm and cool, and sat down facing him. Ed was bare naked, lying atop his bedcovers, his thick, long tool in one greasy hand.

'In fact,' I said, spotting the bottle of lube, which was now nearly empty, 'I was thinking...' Ed gulped the largest mouthful of nothing at that moment, hanging off my every word. 'That we might enjoy a treat, if you'd be okay with it.'

'Okay with what, mom?' he said, eyes wide open. I slid the robe off one bare shoulder then and flashed him a dark smile.

'If I watch you,' I said, 'and maybe you'd like to masturbate to something real for a change?'

I untied my robe and pulled apart the lapels to affirm to my naked, horny son that indeed I was completely naked underneath. Boy did he approve. Immediately he gripped tight the base of his cock and braced himself. He nearly came there and then, which turned me on something savage.

Down to my trimmed smooth pussy I motioned the lube bottle and drizzled some over my clit, hissing between my teeth as cold met hot, and then through the groove between my thick, protruding labia.

'Like what you see?' I asked. The look in his eyes said everything. 'Mmm-hmm, so do I,' I purred and leaned in to drizzle some more lube onto the head of his cock. I flashed my eyebrows at my son then and said, 'now let's take this nice and slow!'

4

Masturbating that night with my son was one of the most exciting experiences in my entire life, with the exception of giving birth to him. The latter was only slightly more terrifying, the former infinitely more satisfying and devoid of the unforgettable agony.

I'll never forget the talk we had afterwards, as though we were just two ordinary people lying in the afterglow of a beautiful experiment. It felt surprisingly natural at that point, and I felt as though Ed and I understood each other more as human beings and not only as family.

Gradually I went back to the website to see what commotion had followed us. Ed left a new link, to another forum thread describing the mutual masturbation session we had and how much he loved his mother.

A year earlier I'd have been mortified, in the literal sense. Now I was giddy with excitement that we had shared this with each other and then with the world. It felt dangerous and arousing at the same time. but nothing so ordinary about sex could have ever had the same effect.

It led me to thinking, which led me to touching, which led to harder things, which I imagined whilst flicking through Ed's beautiful stiffy gallery. Numerous times over the next month we masturbated for each other. It would end in a friendly kiss. And each time that kiss was a split second longer, and a little more suggestive.

I began to try to get him to read more and to spend time away from all the sex photos and videos. They didn't always work for me, but the way I saw it, maybe it would cause him to cool off a little and to take a step back before we went any further.

I suggested one story to him, about an adopted boy coming of age that goes in search of his birth mother and ends up experiencing something called Genetic Sexual Attraction, which develops into an explicit sexual relationship, and then quickly into a May-December romance. I ended up having to explain what it was to him when he came back raving his appraisal and asking what it meant.

'Do we have this GSA?' he asked.

'No, honey, it's something between blood where the family bond is never established,' I explained.

'Then what about us? Are we just naturally attracted?'

'Maybe,' I supposed. 'Maybe also lonely and horny and kinky; but I'm still your mother,' I declared with authority. 'I'm not a living fantasy. You can't go all the way with me, understand?'

'There was actually something I wanted to talk to you about there, mom,' he then said in a hushed tone. I crossed my arms and prepared for the next bombshell.

'What is it?' I said and sighed.

'I'd really love to play with you again soon, but do things a little different...'

I was all ears. I shouldn't have been. God I was such a pushover!

5

'This happens once and once only,' I remember saying. Then again, I said that a lot. Who was I kidding?

Ed was all out of lube. I felt bad for him, because for what I was about to do, he'd be stroked raw by the end of that Saturday afternoon. We were on my bed this time and my legs were spread all the way open for him, my naked athletic body on show for him yet again.

At first there was silence, just expectant breathing and a quiet buzz between us as the vibrator throbbed over the hood of my clit. It was about the same size as Ed's. Funny that it should be his bright idea. For twenty long minutes I tested his patience, toying with myself quietly, playing the waiting game. Then he spoke.

'Now guide me inside you, mom,' he said as I circled my sopping cunt and began to dip shallowly into my pretty pink. 'Please, mom, just the tip...'

I'd heard that one a few million times. I wanted to laugh. I suppressed the urge and smiled wickedly at him, then licked my lips. 'You want to feel what it's like, baby?' I asked. 'Keep stroking and stay hard for me...'

Ed masturbated slowly, gently, using his dry foreskin to carefully pleasure his helmet, and as he did, I slowly began to fuck myself in front of him, sinking to the halfway mark and noting the effect it was having on my perverted son.

Shortly after I was buried in myself at the balls and coming all over this silicone toy, but trying not to lose control of myself in front of him. I didn't expect him to lean forward and to ask me to remove the vibe from my pussy. When I did, he managed to shock me yet again.

Taking the vibrator out of my hand, he put the base to his nose and inhaled, essentially smelling the scent of my arousal, getting off on my lady-lube. Then he put out his tongue and so slowly, with such deliberation, my son licked my juices straight off my rubber cock, keeping my gaze all the while.

'You little perv,' I said, absolutely stunned.

'I was wondering what your pussy tastes like, and now I know,' he said with a straight face.

'And how do I taste?'

'Delicious...'

Secretly I came again, right in front of him. I could blame that for messing with my mind, for making me do what I did to get one over on him.

'Take your hand off your cock,' I suddenly shouted. 'Right now,' I commanded when he didn't do as I told him to the first time. He looked hurt and instantly remorseful, and finally did as he was told. Before he could open his mouth to apologise, I leaned in, inhaled the scent of his pre-ejaculate, whispered, 'two can play at that game,' and proceeded to milk him with my lips and tongue, bathing him in hot saliva and pumping the come from his balls.

We were running out of boundaries to hide behind...

6

I was angry at my son, but probably more so at myself that afternoon. There was no denying that I got off on what happened, especially the thought of him tasting me, and then me tasting him to the extreme of swallowing his load. I'd lost control.

That was exactly it though. My son's seed was swimming around in my digestive tract and I was a lowdown whore. I spent the evening deleting most of my accounts, knowing that I'd gone too far this time. If the authorities ever caught wind, I don't know what would be worse, being treated as a sex predator, or having my son taken to prison.

I was distracted by a phone call. It was him. I picked up and cleared my throat to let him know I was there. He spoke uncertainly.

'Mom, it's Ed. I'm staying out tonight. I figured you could use some time alone, and so could I. We'll talk soon, but I just want you to know that I love you and I hope you can forgive me. I took it too far. I made you do what you didn't want to...'

But that wasn't true. If I didn't want to do any of this, I wouldn't have. It was the shock of the outcome and the realisation that, before you know it, you've just gone further than your mind can comprehend.

Every night I fantasised about letting him into me, about bouncing on the end of his cock, like the incestuous mother I only dreamed that I could be. What did I do all this time? I tempted chance, I pushed the envelope, and I tested the waters to see if we could make this a reality.

Now I'd lost control and scared him off, and scared myself out of my mind.

'Ed?' I said. But he was gone. Well fuck that, I thought. This wasn't some dumb soap opera. I called him back immediately. To my surprise he actually picked up; and for that, so did the tone of his sad, dejected voice.

'Ed, I'm sorry,' I said calmly. 'I love you and I care about you and that will never change. But we need to talk about what happened and where we're going. It was a shock to the system and I'm scared of damaging us if anything. Do you understand?'

'Of course, mom. I feel the same way,' came the reply.

'You don't have to stay away tonight,' I went on, 'but if you have to, I understand. Better sooner than later though, okay?'

'I'll speak to you later,' he said and hung up.

7

Two o'clock in the morning I received a message from Ed. I didn't even want to open my eyes, thought I hadn't yet slept a wink. I sighed heavily and rolled over, picked up my phone and there it was...

"Are you awake?"

Was I?

"Wide awake."

"I'm nearly home. Please come and talk to me when I get there X"

Well I wasn't going to dress up for him. And I wasn't going to sit in my chair like some angry, haggard old mother. And I wasn't going to open the door to him either. Instead I was stood on the porch at twenty past, in that same white cotton robe, shivering at the coolness of the night air that found its way underneath. When he came, I kissed him on the cheek, told him not to stress, and let him in.

He headed to the living room. I told him no, heading up the stairs. So he followed. And I took my time, heading into my bedroom and switching on the main light, and invited him in to sit down in my computer chair.

'I'm going to say this once, for the both of us,' I said coldly. 'The website stuff stops. And I mean the hard stuff. It went too far. It isn't right...'

'I agree,' he said soberly.

'We could get in serious trouble even just pretending, if we were caught out,' I added. Again he agreed - no fuss, nothing. 'Otherwise, I guess we have to talk about where we're headed,' I said, looking at him bleakly. 'We're out of control.'

His shoulders slumped. I felt terrible. He probably felt as bad for me as I did for him, though, and I imagined that if we were any other family, we might already be at each others' throats. But we weren't any ordinary family. I knew that now.

'Ed, all I can think about is what we both know we want to do and what I'm trying to prevent us from doing,' I said. I approached him and knelt at his feet, then took his hands in mine. 'And I'm trying to prevent it because I don't want to make a mistake that can't be fixed.'

'What do you want, mom?' he asked.

My eyes dropped wide. I looked at him with a sense of incredulity for what was about to come out of my mouth. I humoured him and myself at once when I admitted, 'oh, I want us to fuck like you wouldn't believe.'