Thanks go to LaRascasse for his editing help! Any remaining errors are mine. I love comments, votes, and favorites!
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Stephen and his parents sat down to eat dinner. His dad, Frank, grey haired and tired-looking, asked his wife, "Get the ketchup, eh?"
Stephen's mom, Gail, a petite brunette with a trim figure and a usually-ready smile, said peevishly, "I
just
sat down Frank. Why didn't you ask before I sat down?"
This was a game that Stephen had watched his parents play for a few years now. He didn't think it was a fun game, though, and he'd had enough.
Stephen didn't like the way his dad treated his mom. It bothered him that she took it. It bothered him a lot. The more he thought of the disregard and disrespect she took, the madder he got. Like this stupid game; why didn't she..., "Just get the damn ketchup, Mom."
Gail hopped up immediately and went for the ketchup.
Stephen was mortified at the angry tone he had used. He followed her to the kitchen and took the ketchup bottle out of her hand. He leaned over and kissed her forehead. Then he rested his forehead on hers and said, "I'm sorry, Mom. I shouldn't have talked to you that way."
Gail put her hands up to her son's face, cradling it. The action squeezed her breasts together slightly, which drew Stephen's attention. At that angle, he had the perfect view down her shirt. Her lush cleavage, the creamy tops of her breasts, the black lace of her bra...black lace bra? Stephen felt his balls tingle at the sight.
Stephen enjoyed the view as long as he could. He thought, for the millionth time, how lucky he would be if he could find someone like his mom. She was so loving, giving and forgiving, warm, full of life, beautiful and sexy.
But every time he caught himself appreciating his mother's assets, he was overcome with shame. "Shit!," he thought to himself, "I shouldn't be thinking of my mom like that!"
Feeling unsettled, he quickly took the ketchup bottle to the table. He ignored the gloating look on his father's face. It was either that or punch the prick in his face.
After dinner, Frank buried his nose in Sports Illustrated, the tv remote in his lap.
Stephen cleared the table while his mother loaded the dishwasher. From the other room, the pair heard Frank loudly whine, "Gail, I want a beer!"
Stephen watched with amusement as his mom pretended not to hear his dad. After a few minutes, Frank whined again for a beer. Gail continued to ignore him. As she was wiping down the counters, Stephen found himself once again studying his mom's trim figure, her graceful movements, the sweetness of her apple bottom.
Frank came in with a petulant look on his face and retrieved his own beer, bitching as he returned to the den.
Stephen's thoughts remained unsettled. He couldn't seem to keep from thinking of his mother as a woman, like she was a potential girlfriend. He wondered if he was crazy because he knew that wasn't an appropriate way to look at her.
He thought of her with his Dickless Dad and shook his head. His dad's whiny, needy disrespect, and her ambivalent behavior in return—it just didn't seem to make any sense that they were husband and wife. "I would treat her so much better!" And then a rush of shame again.
Stephen told himself he needed a girl, that was all. He realized it had been weeks since he'd had sex. "I'm just feeling horny," he rationalized.
Stephen didn't have to go very long without sex. As a tall, good-looking, outgoing college athlete he had his pick of girls anytime he went out. He enjoyed being seen with a gorgeous girl, but they tended to leave him cold. They always seemed to act like he should be grateful to be seen with them.
What he really wanted was a girl who would treat him like he was special. Like his mom always did. God! There he was again, thinking of his mom as a girlfriend! He didn't seem able to keep from it.
He noticed that she had left the room and he wanted her back. He heard her coming back towards the kitchen. "Mom," he blurted out, "will you get me a Coke?"
Gail looked at her son and started to laugh--he was standing right beside the fridge! But something about the look on his face stopped the laughter. She inhaled sharply, turned to the fridge, opened it, and removed a Coke. She felt Stephen's eyes on her every step of the way. He was making her feel self-conscious. He seemed to watch her very closely a lot these days. At first, it made her wonder if she had a smudge on her face, or something.
But gradually, the thought that he was looking at her appreciatively formed in her mind. Once formed, it held on, reappearing with regularity. It sometimes seemed too outlandish to credit—but at other times, it seemed quite obvious. She usually tried not to think about the idea that her own son found her attractive. However, when she did allow herself to think about it, well, she found the idea quite flattering.
And when he looked at her like he was at that moment, intensely, almost hungrily, it made her feel desirable. She felt herself blush from shame. Then anger at Frank manifested. "If he would only look at me like that I wouldn't be having these awful thoughts!"
She turned towards Stephen. His body was just on the other side of the Coke can she was holding between them. So near, and yet not near enough. Gail was again shamed by her inappropriate thought and turned her face away from Stephen. "This is my son! Stop it, Gail!"
Stephen took the Coke can and set it on the counter. He put his hands on his mother's back to hug her close. He moved one hand up to her hair, feeling the silk of it. He leaned down and inhaled its sweet fragrance. "Mom," he whispered as a prayer in her ear.
His thoughts returned to the idea of finding someone like his mom. "No, not like Mom, but Mom herself!" He groaned his lust and self-loathing.
Suddenly, Frank yelled from the other room, "Not another one! C'mon, Ref! Jeez!" His voice trailed off, but it had broken the spell hanging over Stephen and his mother. They stepped apart and went their separate ways for the night, each immersed in feelings of shame and desire.
Gail and Stephen both busied themselves with school and work and friends over the next few days.
*****
Stephen and his friend Jack studied at Stephen's house because of the cookies. Gail delighted in supporting the boys and their studies. She always made them peanut butter chocolate chip cookies and made sure she had milk and coffee for them. She would put on an old-fashioned apron and bring the snacks to them, fresh from the oven. It was a way for her to show her love, and she was sure that Stephen understood it as an act of love.
Gail had just left the latest plate of fresh cookies when Jack said, "Man, I love your mom!" He shoved a whole cookie in his mouth.
Stephen laughed at his friend and then did the same thing. He gulped down coffee, then sighed heavily. "Yeah, I do too."
Jack narrowed his eyes as he looked at his friend. There was a tone of voice there, almost wistful, that Jack hadn't noticed before. Jack, being gay, wasn't interested in Gail sexually, but he could see how attractive she was. He wondered if Stephen was seeing it, too.
The idea that Stephen might be attracted to his own mother didn't bother Jack. He had a very live-and-let-live attitude towards love and sex. Besides, Stephen and his mom were two of his favorite people. He wanted to see them happy.
"I'ma stay for dinner, too, Man. That alright?"
"Yeah, I'm sure. Lemme just tell Mom."
At the dinner table later that evening, Jack paid close attention to the family dynamic. Frank almost pleaded with the boys to talk sports with him, ignoring Gail. Gail in turn ignored Frank while she waited on Stephen and him. She seemed to know precisely what they wanted and had it for them before they could even ask.
Jack noticed her warm smiles aimed at himself—and her embarrassed blushes aimed at Stephen. He watched Stephen closely and thought he saw an extra measure of tenderness in the glances he sent his mother's way. Jack was beginning to think he was not wrong.
After dinner, Jack and Stephen studied for another couple of hours before deciding they were punch drunk and any more would be wasted.
Jack didn't like Frank any more than Stephen did and always wondered at Frank and Gail. He knew Gail was submissive almost from their first meeting. Frank was an odd sort of weak-willed bully--definitely not the kind of man that would make a submissive woman happy, but possibly the kind that might fool a young and inexperienced girl long enough to get her pregnant.
Jack knew all about submissives as that was the kind of man he was drawn to. He had never been attracted to Stephen because Stephen was definitely not submissive. Jack grew thoughtful.
Stephen asked him, "Why you so quiet all of a sudden?"
Jack looked around to make sure the door was closed. "Stevie Baby, we need to talk about my sex life!"
Stephen screamed and crossed his fingers. He laughed and said, "No thanks, Man!"
"Seriously. Forget about the who I'm talking about and concentrate on the what."
"Naw, Man, I can't get past the why!"
"The why will become obvious if you'll listen."
Stephen didn't really want to hear about gay sex, but his friend's intent expression convinced him it was important to Jack that he listen.
"You remember when I first came out?" Jack asked. Stephen nodded. "I was very unsure of myself. I didn't really know anything about sex or about myself beyond that I was gay." Jack went on, "One of my first friends in the scene was a sub."
"What do you mean?"
"Sub is short for submissive. He liked to serve and be used by Doms, or dominants. I was so scared of making an ass of myself that I came across as a sub. Tim, my sub friend, and I talked about dominance and submission a lot. The more he talked about being a sub, the more I knew that was not me--that I was simply lacking confidence."