âespecially where siblings are involved. Most of all, probably, we worried that we might be old enough that she would get pregnant.
On the other hand, we were also gradually learning that people had sex all the time because they liked it (even the women, for whom it must therefore not be painful), and that pregnancy didn't result every time. We weren't sure what had caused Mindy's pain during that last experiment: youth, perhaps, or lack of lubrication, or both. So our "knowledge" of this subject, like so much childhood knowledge, consisted of many isolated, sometimes mutually contradictory, "facts."
Shortly after that final trial, we both entered puberty for real. We continued our body-checking hobby, which was made even more interesting by the accelerating (and fascinating) changes in our bodies. We gained height. Acne troubled usâher in particular. We saw whiskers begin to sprout from my upper lip, and then from my chin and my cheeks, while the hair on my chest, arms, and legs changed its quality from fine and downy to coarse and dark. We watched the boringly parallel lines of her body change, ever so slowly, into the alluring curves of womanhood. We also observed, in detail, more intimate changes.
As we matured physically, we each learnedâfrom peers of our own sexâabout orgasms and how one brings them about for oneself. We traded this information and we practiced industriously, often watching each other out of curiosity regarding structure and technique. But for some reason, it never occurred to us that we might do each other.
Her first period came in early 1982, when she was nearly 13. Late one afternoon, when Mom and Dad weren't home, she proudly displayed the bloody wreck of a tampon she had just drawn from her body. I could've done without that. But it was all part of watching ourselves grow up togetherâand I now know that, much more than I, she could have done without thatâas it recurred again and again in her later life.
When I was sixteen, she started calling me "The Big Person With The Muscles," and in return I called her "The Soft Little Person." Not that she was weak; she packed a lot of strength into her little body. But still, she was small, and she was female. Small people aren't generally as strong as large people, while girls aren't generally as strong as boys.
We'd both been looking forward to this trip into the Wind River Range as a way of reconnecting with each other. For most of the last year, I'd been away for my first year of college at Mom's alma mater (where Mindy was to begin her freshman year in a few weeks). And we'd been busy with summer jobsâwhich we'd quit early in order to make this trip. I'd had a good first year away from home. But I had missedâreally missedâmy little sister, who was still my very best friend.
That August, at the age of 18, The Soft Little Person was as tall as she was ever going to be, although, of course, we didn't know that. She was about 5 feet tall, and she weighed 100 pounds when she was fully clothed, dripping wet, and someone put a couple of rocks on the scale beside her. I thought that her breasts were just right for her small body, and they were so firm that she rarely wore a bra.
Her feminine curves were gentle and subdued, and she had a cute pair of tight little buttocks. Her figure was slender and athletic, without being either bony or skinny. She had blue eyes, a pleasing face, and she wore her dark brown hair in a short bob. No one would ever think of her as a stunning beauty, but she liked living in her own skin.
For the most part, she enjoyed being what she wasâa pretty, sexy, intelligent young woman. She wasn't very fond of being small, though; in fact, she was a little bit sensitive about it.
That August, the Big Person With The Muscles, on the other hand, stood 6 feet tall, and weighed 190 pounds. I'd thought I was a little overweight, but the doctor said I was pretty solid and I shouldn't worry about it. I didn't know it, but I had the broad shoulders and muscular body that attract women. I had another inch or so to grow, and I would put on more muscle mass as I filled out during the next few years.
As we prepared for this trip into the wilderness in each other's company, we had last practiced our hobby about a year earlier. I'd been away at college, and then we'd been busy with jobs and other summer activities. But old habits die hard, and so we'd often seen each other around the house in various states of undressâincluding complete nudity.
We knew now that body checks reliably produced, in both of us, the sense of compelling urgency for union that I mentioned earlier. We'd successfully defused that urgency. But it had frightened us, because we thought ourselves "good" kidsâand we had gotten the message. We knew that it would be wrongâdeeply wrongâfor brother and sister to satisfy that urgent need with each other. And so, by unspoken agreement, we'd put aside our old hobby, though we now found it more interesting than ever. But I don't believe that either of us meant to give it up for good.
It did not occur to us that opportunities for renewing it might await us in the Bridger Wilderness Area. Nevertheless, we were exhilarated by the knowledge that we would have no company in the backwoods other than ourselvesâbig brother and little sister, best friends, now and always.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Sunday
The drive to the trailhead took about eight hours. We'd gotten up early, but we'd spent more time than we'd expected bagging our food and getting everything into our packs. So we'd gotten a late startâand we'd taken our time on the road.
As we traveled, we chatted. We talked about my just-completed first year of collegeâincluding my failure to get laid for the first time. I hadn't failed for lack of trying, but because I hadn't found a willing partner.
Mindy would begin college in a few weeks; she talked about her hopes and her fears. And she confessed that during her senior year of high school she, too, had failed to lose her virginityâthough not because she hadn't tried, or because she hadn't found a willing partner. She'd kissed a few boys, she said, and a couple of them had touched her breasts through her shirt. But she hadn't liked any of them enough to go further with them.
I realized that she took it for granted that she would really like a guy before she would consider Doing It with him. That was foreign to me, and it gave me a new perspective on the female mind.
Otherwise, we touched on nothing of any real importance, beyond the joy we shared at the prospect of spending some time together.
It was late afternoon when we arrived at Meadow Lake. We saw little traffic after we left the interstate in Wyoming, and we saw none at all once we turned off the two-lane highway. In the parking lot, we found only a couple of cars, and a pickup with a horse trailer hooked up to it
I had been there just two years earlierâMeadow Lake had been the pickup site for my MOLS courseâand I knew of a good campsite about three-quarters of a mile from the trailhead. We double-checked that we had all the gear we needed. We tied our sleeping bags and our daypacks onto the main packs, in the configuration that MOLS had taught me.
My pack was lighter than the one I'd carried on other, longer tripsâthough it was still heavy enough that Mindy could barely lift it. Hers was much lighter, but still heavy for her petite frame. I was The Big Person With The Muscles, so I carried a lot more than she. I'd made sure that she had copies of all of our maps, as well as food for a couple of days. If we were accidentally separated, she would need those things.
We had worn jeans and good shirts for the drive to the trailhead, and we didn't want to take them with us. And, following MOLS' recommendation that all hikers, including women, should wear men's cotton boxer shorts, we wanted to change our underwear. We were alone at the trailhead, and we would hear anyone approaching by way of the deeply rutted road long before they could see us. It was very unlikely that hikers would approach from the other direction, so we strippedâright there beside our parked car.
I recall admiring her pert little breasts (she hadn't even brought a bra with her on this trip). Her cleft, and the little dimple at its top, peeked out at me from between her bare thighs and below a small, brown, downward-pointing triangle. (I recall thinking of that triangle as her "electric fur," and complimenting myself for remembering that phraseâeven though I couldn't remember where I'd seen it.) She looked me over, too. I thought to myself that this was a body check, if a superficial one.
We were intent on getting to our campsite, so we dressed quickly. We put on our boxer shorts (hers were some I'd outgrown), cotton hiking shorts, and sturdy long-sleeved cotton shirts. Then a pair of knee-length heavy wool socks, and over those a shorter pair of heavy wool socks. We followed these with hiking boots.