Hardest of Choices

I touched my fingers to my lips; what the hell had just happened?

"Mel?" I heard Chuck call me from the top of the stairs; thank god he hadn't come down moments ago.

"Right here." I answered, pulling myself out of my daze.

"What are you doing down here? It's 4 in the morning."

"I um- Henry just got in, I was talking with him."

"He just came back?"

"He went out with some friends."

"Oh. Come on back to bed Mel, you look tired."

"I'll be right up."

"Okay." He waited another second, watching me, before climbing back upstairs.

I touched my lips again, they tingled and I could still taste the beer he had been drinking on them.

"He's your brother." I reminded myself. "He's your brother and Chuck's your husband. End of story."

I couldn't convince myself. I sighed and went back to join Chuck; Chuck my husband, Chuck my husband, Chuck my husband. Ahh! If only that could have stopped me!

"Mel! Breakfast! Get you ass down here!"

I groaned, Henry's morning call.

"What the fuck." Chuck growled next to me. I leaned in to kiss him.

"It's Henry and you'll get used to... I hope."

"I don't want to get used to it. I like our morning wake ups." He cuddled up to me, pressing his hard cock against me.

"Chuck we can't. Henry will come up and get us if we don't go down."

"Mel." He groaned.

"Later, I promise."

"I get to pick the type of sex. And where."

"Of course." I laughed.

"We haven't done it in the shower lately. And you also haven't done that thing with your throat..."

"Chuck!"

He growled at me and threw himself on top of me.

"I'm horny Mel."

"So am I but Henry's waiting."

"If that kid gets in my way again..."

"He won't" I interrupted. "You can have me whenever you want, just not at this moment."

"Fine. I'm hungry anyways."

I grabbed my robe before heading downstairs after Chuck. Henry had made the works; pancakes, bacon, waffles, sausage, eggs, fruit, and orange juice.

"It looks delicious." I said wide-eyed, surprised he would do this the day he got back.

"Yeah." Chuck said unpleasantly. I elbowed him and he just glared at me and mouthed: "I want sex more than food." Chuck and I can understand almost anything we say silently.

"What was his problem?" Henry asked me after we had finished breakfast. We were walking out in the woods behind the house, following random paths, not really in any hurry to do anything else.

"Nothing, it's stupid."

"It's making you upset."

"He's being a man."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh Henry, I obviously don't want to say what Chuck wanted, okay?"

"Okay."

We continued on silently for a few minutes. I glanced at him occasionally. Watching the sun stream through the tops of trees and strike his brown hair, glinting it red and making his eyes shine. His strides were so big and I had trouble keeping up, he must have noticed because I suddenly could keep up. I twisted the key on my necklace, feeling every inch of the antique key that fit so perfectly into the door that led to my room. I started daydreaming, random stuff really. The day I met Chuck, the day I kissed Chuck, the day I married Chuck.

I can truly say that no other day will beat the day I married him. It may sound cruel but I know that even the day I have my first child or my second or my third, will not beat that day.

It was a beautiful summer day, not to hot because the sun hid behind a light layer of clouds and there was a breeze that tickled my skin as I sat next to the window.

"You look beautiful Mel." Henry said through the cell phone.

"You can't even see me."

"I don't have to see you, you always look good."

"I'm getting married Henry."

"Cold feet?"

"No not at all. But can you believe it? Me, Melanie Jacobson, getting married."

"That's not the surprising part, you've always been a romantic Mel, it would stupid to bet against you not getting married. The surprising thing is that you're so young."

"Don't be silly Henry."

"Don't let him hurt you."

"I wouldn't dare."

"I'm not joking."

"Neither was I. I wish you could meet him, then you'd see."

"I wish I could see you. I can't believe all I get when I tell them my sister's getting married is a phone call. A phone call Mel, a god damn phone call!"

"Don't yell, I know that if you could be here you would be."

"I'm glad they at least gave me a phone call. I can't believe this is the first time I've actually talked to you in years. I miss you so much."

"I miss you too."

"Mel?"

"What?"

"I love you, you need to know that."

"Of course I know that. And I love you too."

The day had gone on, after they had had to reapply my makeup because I had been crying. There weren't many guests, which is what I had wanted. Just close family, mostly Chuck's, he had a lot larger family than I did.

The thing I remember the most about that day was the look on Chuck's face when I was walking down the aisle. It was the kind of look you give a good friend when you see them and think of an inside joke; you just can't help but smile and almost laugh because it's just such a good memory. Chuck had that smile, like him and I had a secret that nobody else knew at that moment, and I saw the twinkle in his eyes.

Then when I was almost to the end I couldn't help myself and I started to laugh. Everyone thought I was crying but Chuck knew what he had done. When I had finally settled down and stood on the alter before him, his fingers intertwining with mine, I became Mrs. Melanie Taft.

Henry finally broke the silence.

"He doesn't like me much does he?"

"No he likes you. He's just...jealous I think. At least that's what I think he was trying to tell me yesterday."

"Jealous? Of me? Why?"

"He likes to protect me. He thinks that since you're back you're going to steal that away from him."

Henry nodded, trying to process what I had said.

"We have different things to protect you from though. I need to protect you from him. He needs to protect you from almost everything else. There should be no jealousy in that."

I shrugged; is this what men think about all day?

"Mel?" He was right to me suddenly, his hand wrapped around my upper arm. It sent electricity though my body and I gasped. We continued on walking, slower though. "Did something happen between us last night? I feel like it's a dream, I was so drunk last night though it could have been real."

Moment of truth; do I tell him and risk our relationship or lie and risk my sanity.

"You kissed me." I said, looking away, not wanting to look at him as I said these words to my own brother.

"What kind of kiss?"

"Like Chuck kisses me."

He stopped walking and crinkled his eyes at me.

"I did?"

I nodded, the tears beginning to well in my eyes.

"Oh I'm sorry Mel. I didn't know what I was doing. Don't cry." His arms wrapped around me and I felt that familiar feeling surging through me. The feeling I should only feel for Chuck and especially not feel for my brother. He pulled away to look at me but he doesn't say anything. And then it's déjà vu; his lips are on mine again, his tongue begging to be let into my mouth. It's like he's taken over my body. I kiss him back, my mouth opens for him willingly this time. His hands cup my face to pull me closer. My hands are on his chest; were his abs always this hard? The feel of his shirt under my hands feels wrong, it should be off. I pull at the bottom and he pulls away.

"Mel." His voice is so sad I want to collapse and die right there. His eyes are heartbreaking and I see his hands shaking.

"Henry I-"

He puts his hand up to stop me.

"I shouldn't have done that. I just couldn't remember last night and I just thought... I should not have done that. I'm sorry Mel." He runs off before I can say anything.

My fingers turn on the lock and it clicks shut. Chuck turns to speak but he sees the look in my eyes. He smiles his little devil smile and slowly walks over to me. He's taking off my shirt before I can even tell him I want him to. His fingers brush my skin and I hear myself moan.

"I don't think I have ever seen you this turned on." Chuck tells me as kneels and kisses my stomach.

"Just fuck me." I moan, my head is pulsing rapidly. He pulls my pants down and helps me step out of them. I stand before him in my bra and panties; a matching dark purple with lace trim.

His eyes are rolling in his head; if he wanted me this morning he wants me even more now.

I take my bra off myself as he slowly pulls down my panties, which are soaked. His lips are at the top of my thighs, barely touching me as he brings himself lower. I know he can smell me and I know how much that turns him on. I can't even believe he's taking the time to do this, figured he would just want to fuck me.

He sucks me into his mouth and I feel my knees shake. I spread my legs further, out my hands on his shoulders for support, and then push towards him. He continues to lick me, he moves a hand to my ass and gently rubs, his other hand busies it self with filling my cunt.

My orgasm comes out of nowhere and hits me like a ton of bricks. My knees go weak and dick my nails into Chuck's shoulders. I feel him tense at the pain I'm inflicting and as my orgasm subsides I kneel down on the floor with him to see what I've done.

"It's fine." He grovels.

"Just let me look real quick."

It looks like it hurts; I drew blood on all ten spots.

"I'm so sorry."

"It's fine, really."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Want to know what won't be fine if we don't ignore this?"

"What?"

"My balls."

I laugh and push him back on the floor. "I think I know just the antidote for that." I say as I seductively climb on top of him.

"Do you now?"

I nod. My legs straddle his waist and my hands are on his chest ready to lift me up. I lean down to kiss him as I raise myself up and move his cock to my pussy and sink myself down. He moans into my mouth as his entire cock is plunged into me.

I raise myself back up and slide back down; I'm so wet it's easy.

"Mel, have I ever told you how much I fucking love your cunt."

"You might have mentioned it before."

"God you're tight." He started to thrust up into me.

And yet again my orgasm hits me like a brick. I scream and he covers my mouth to try and lower it. I feel him shoot his hot cum into me, filling me. I slow down and eventually stop moving and he removes his hand from my mouth as I slide off onto the floor next to him. He kisses my nipples, sucking them into his mouth. I reach down and caress his cock and balls; he wants more. I crawl down and lick the tip of cock. I can taste our mixes juices as I swallow him into my mouth. I sink down all the way onto his cock and he reaches the back of my throat, I constrict my throat; suctioning him in. This is what he wanted me to do. It hurts and makes me want to gag but I've learned to control it. The head of his cock is rubbing against the back of my throat. I squeeze his balls gently in my hands. I hear him moan above me and I look up. My eyes stare into his.

"I love you Mel." He moans as his cum shoots into my mouth and slides right down my throat.

The clock strikes midnight and I'm still sitting in my library. I've been here for hours. I'm sitting in the big maroon leather chair that faces the window. The moon is just a sliver in the sky, casting a single lined shadow over the floor.

The doorknob twists across the room but it doesn't open since it's locked. I know it's Henry because Chuck isn't home; something about his grandmother falling and having to go to the hospital. I feel bad now, I hadn't really listened when he was trying to tell me.

Henry and I haven't spoken for 3 days now, I feel bad about this too. He only has 9 days left before he has to go back.

The doorknob stops turning and releases, I think he's still standing there though, I haven't heard footsteps walk away.

Should I go and open it? Should I risk it again, being so close to him?

"Mel." My heart snaps, it's the same depressing tone he had the other day before he walked away from me. "Mel I know you're in there, I already checked everywhere else."

I don't move, afraid to make the slightest of noises. The floor creaks outside the door but still no footsteps leaving. "We need to talk Mel. You can't ignore me forever." I sure as hell can try.

Silence again, dead silent, the silence that makes me nervous and think something is wrong.

"Oh Mel." This voice is different; it's pleading and desperate. "I know I shouldn't have kissed you, it was stupid so stupid. I just couldn't stop myself. When you told me I had kissed you already and I couldn't even remember...I needed to know what it was like, I wanted to remember it."

What is he saying?

"Do you remember your wedding day when I talked to you on the phone?"

How could I forget?

"I told you I loved you. But I didn't mean it the way you thought I did."

How did he mean it?

"I was trying to tell you I'm in love with you. I wanted to tell you not to marry him, that you were making a mistake. But you sounded so happy, so sure of it that I couldn't ruin it."

I stand up and walk to the door. He looks surprised when I open it, like he didn't hear me opening it.

I feel stupid standing there before him after what he's just said. It doesn't help that I'm wearing a lavender babydoll that barely covers anything. His eyes scan my body and shivers shoot down my spine.

"What are you trying to say?"

"I want to be with you. I've wanted you for as long as I can remember."

"Henry you're my brother."

"And you're married. Don't you think I know this? I have played through every possible scenario in my head over the past 6 years."

"We can't."

"Think about it Mel, think about how happy you could be."

"I'm happy now!"

"But it's me."

"You're going back to Iraq in 9 days."

This wakes him up. He twists his hands together and searches for something else to say.

"This was a mistake. I should have known it wouldn't work."

"Henry stop." I demand as he goes to walk off. "I don't know what these feelings are that I'm feeling for you, they're wrong and I know they are. But they keep resurfacing. I'm not saying I don't want to be with you. I'm saying I can't be with you."

This doesn't seem to make any difference to him. "I'm going out."

I sigh as he walks off down the hall. Shutting the door behind me I return to my maroon leather chair; but it doesn't comfort me like it always has.

I recognize the drunken giggle immediately. Henrys brought back a girl. I lean over to turn on the light and Chuck is there. It's 5 in the morning; he must have just got back. He's snoring lightly beside me and I opt to keep the light off. I tip toe to the top of the stairs where I peak over to railing to look for Henry and this girl.

They're beside the front door. Henry's lips are pressed to hers, she's pressed to the wall, a beer in her hand is threatening to slip and crash to the floor. I watch as she moans and shoves her body at him. His hands maul her; they search her body for something he knows he won't find.

She has fake blonde hair and big breasts that strain against the top of her dress. The dress falls on her thighs and is beginning to ride up. I can see the outline of her panties now, thin and not even worth being there.

The muscles in Henry's back are tensed, his shoulders broad and defined. She giggles again and tries to take a step away from the wall but he pushes her back.

"Harry." She moans. Stupid slut doesn't even know his name. This doesn't seem to bother him though; he's probably drunker than she is.

I head back upstairs and go back to sleep feeling sick to my stomach.

When I walk into the kitchen the next morning Chuck and Henry are arguing. Chuck's angry, his fists are clenched and his eyes are mad. Henry's mad too, he yells back until they notice me standing there. They were arguing about Henry and how he had brought a girl back.

"Morning honey." Chuck says as he walks over to me and gives a small kiss. "Sorry we woke you."

"You didn't, it's fine."

He throws an angry look towards Henry who returns it.

"What are you fighting about?"

"Nothing." Henry spits at me.

"He brought a girl back last night."

"Oh." I say trying to sound surprised.

"He's being a dick about it Mel. What's the problem?"

"First of all you should probably sober up before you say anything else. And what's wrong about it Chuck?"

"What's wrong about it? Maybe because I wouldn't be surprised if he paid for her or because this is my house and I won't have you exposed to that or the fact that she left moments ago wearing barely anything."

"He's overreacting Mel. I would never pay for a girl."

I stand there as they look at me as if now it's up to me to decide who's right.

"Don't do it again." I say. I see Chuck smile as if he's won a game. "And don't be so smug about it." I walk off, not hungry anymore.

The tears that fall from my eyes sting like needles yet are so alleviating I can't stop.

It feels as if years have passed yet its only been days; 5 more days and he leaves.

He doesn't talk to me much. Just says a passing hello, sometimes I don't even get words, just a nod. Chuck seems happy by this but he sees how sad I am and stops his grins.

"Mel he's your brother, forgive him for whatever he has done. I can't watch you sulk around like this."

"It isn't that simple."

"Why not? Did he do something to you?"

I shake my head no but my hand goes to my lips. What is wrong with me?

"You're not yourself Mel. I hate seeing you so sad."

"It'll be fine."

"I hope so."

~~~

-Chuck-

"Henry get the fuck down here!" I yell up the stairs.

He comes down looking annoyed and confused. "What do you want?"

"I want to talk to you and Mel went out for a little bit so I figured it would be the best time."

"Well..."

"What did you do to her? She's so sad and withdrawn, I've never seen her like this or at least this bad."

"Why do you assume I did something? It could have been you."

I feel my blood start to boil; I could kill him now if only it wouldn't hurt her even more.

"I'm pretty sure it's you."

"Well I don't know what I did. If I did anything at all."

"She was fine before you got her and the first day but after that it's like Mel disappeared."

He shrugged before me; did he not understand that I wanted her back to normal? That something had to be wrong?

"You're not telling me the truth, are you?"

"You don't want the truth." He growls, his eyes go dark and cold.

"I want to know what's wrong with her."

He's gripping the railing hard; his muscles are tensed in his arms.

"I told her something she didn't want to face but something she wanted to know."

"And that would be...?"

"That would be something I can't tell you."

"Just give me some idea of how to help her."

"Just do whatever it is you've been doing, that's all she wants apparently."

He starts to climb back upstairs but I stop him.

"Is she cheating on me?"

He freezes and taps his fingers. "No."

"Is that the truth?"

He looks like he's struggling to tell me something but isn't sure about it.

"What do you consider cheating?"

I sink back against the wall. Had I done something wrong in our marriage? She was always so happy and loving.

"Chuck calm down she's not sleeping around. I just know she kissed someone but she stopped him. She loves you, I know that much."

"Who was it?"

He shrugs again. "I don't live around here."

"Is that her problem? That she's mad herself."

"Partly." He closes his mouth; he knows he's said too much.

"Partly?" I repeat. I want the full story.

~~~

"Chuck?" I ask tentatively. I walk forward a little barely able to see. Why are all the lights off? I flip the switch closest to the door and light floods the main hall. "Chuck?"