December 2020
John readied himself before getting out of his car. It was cold out and no matter how many decorations and lights the people of this small town put up, none of it changed the temperature. Not that it wasn't cold in the big city where he lived but at least there he could be in the comfort of his own apartment where he could either overload himself with work or just wait out the holiday season keeping occupied with something else.
He honestly couldn't even believe he was here. It had not been his idea. But there was nothing he could do about it now. It was done. He was here and he only had one more day before his relatives were going to surround him and smother him. Gross.
He got out of his car and started the short walk through the parking lot to the bookstore. He had determined the day before that this was the best place to get a proper cup of coffee. This town also had one of the over priced deluxe coffee places but John's inner sense of intellectual honesty wouldn't let him pay $6 for a mocha that advertised itself as being made with "organic" coffee beans. Of course they were organic beans. All coffee beans are organic beans because caffeine is a natural insecticide.
The big box style bookstore this town had was a dying breed. John was surprised to see it still open. The coffee served at the little coffee shop attached to it wasn't fancy but it was good. John opened the door and took the right turn towards the smell of the ... Wait.
He stopped in his tracks. He saw her. It was her. It had to be her. "Megan" he whispered under his breath.
Retreat. He backed away. Where to go? Back out into the cold with the dim sunlight being no comparison to the beauty of her face. His heart was racing. Was it really her? He looked at her through the store window.
...
July 2018
"No. Don't give me that. Yes you do." George said.
John shook his head. "I don't drink. Honest."
"Come on. Just a sip. You're not driving or nothing."
"So what?"
"Dude, don't you even realize how much money you just made. Celebrate. Stop being such a ..."
"Fine. Give me the ... whatever that is."
All of Johns colleagues looked on as he took a sip from the shot glass and then had to spit most of it out. A roar of laughter and cheer erupted.
"Drink it. Drink it. Drink it." they chanted again and again.
John suffered through it and his face was red while all of his insides felt like they were on fire. "Why would anyone ever make something like that?"
"You'll see." George told him. "Just wait." he said as he handed John another drink and encouraged him. The large party of his fellow employees chanted again and John drank again. Before they would finally leave him alone he had to gulp down five of those nasty shots and he was already feeling off balance.
John made a note to self, don't tell everyone about a big deal on a Friday afternoon. Wait until Monday.
It was still a very funny situation at work. John was supposed to be an engineer but it turned out he was much better at running an office. He was supposed to be testing materials and working on equations but instead he did paperwork and talked to customers. His greatest strength lie not in doing the work himself but in getting those under him to be really good at their jobs. It was just something known at the company that John's team always won every contest. If you wanted job security, raises, and promotions; you wanted to get on his team. John was going to move up in the company and everyone could see that.
John himself often felt like his successes were unearned but there was no question about what he'd done that day. With one well timed phone call, just the right question being asked, and a truthful even if carefully worded answer; John had gotten the biggest client of their top competitor to switch over. That would mean more work but it also meant more salary, more overtime, more bonuses; and for this night, more partying.
It was maybe about two hours later when John finally started to feel like himself again and not feel like he was under the influence. Most of his friends had gone and only George and Martin were still there with him. John was just then going to say goodbye himself and go home when he saw her.
John did not believe in love at first sight. How could he living in this city? Where honesty and integrity ruled the work world, the world of dating was nothing but people stabbing each other in the back and more often than not ending with claims of domestic violence and restraining orders while one person raided the bank account of the other. Even if things never got that far, there were recent stories all over the news of woman after woman claiming sexual harassment; even as it was revealed that more than half the men being forced to pay child support by the city had never even met the women who were claiming them to be the fathers of their babies.
So, no. John did not believe in love, much less love at first sight. Yet there she was and just her image was having an affect on him. He told himself that it had to just be the alcohol, yet even as he did so internally he knew the truth. It was her. She was doing this to him.
Cautiously he got up and started over towards the young woman and her group of friends who were standing by the pool tables. His friend George was in tow without being asked. What was his plan? He told himself not to get his hopes up. She probably had a boyfriend. She was so pretty, there was no way she didn't have a boyfriend already. A lot of John's own personal insecurities bubbled up. He never thought of himself as particularly handsome and besides being good at his job, he had no other unique things about himself that he felt comfortable telling people.
As he got closer he remarked to himself that he was going to have to change his stance on the existence of God. Surely, this woman was made in the image and likeness of the divine and wasn't the result of an accidental combination of random biology. Her hair was perfect. Her eyes were perfect. Her face was the image of an angelic being.
Deep down, John started to doubt himself. She was too good for him. She wouldn't be interested. Rejection was imminent.
John was no stranger to rejection in life. John was guarded about his past and that was something that would turn off most women. Sure, some women found him initially mysterious but that feeling would wear off fast once they found that they were unable to get him to reveal his secrets. As he stood there in front of this woman he figured she probably came from a good family with parents who loved her and supported her. Of course he couldn't know that for sure unless he asked and he would never ask. He instead would give her and every woman the privacy he himself so often longed for and specifically not ask about her past.
"So, does anyone here want to play pool?" John asked with his most confident smile. He was addressing all four women there but of course they could all tell that there was only one true recipient of his offer. Even with the music playing and the sound of drinks, laughs, boasting, and others playing pool; there seemed to be silence as John looked at the woman he was interested in and to his utter amazement, she was looking back at him and seemed herself to have a longing in her eyes.
One of the other women, a short girl with red hair, was turning her head repeatedly to look back and forth from her friend to this man who'd been so bold as to just walk up to them. Her incredulous look eventually turned to a huge smile.
"Um ... Can you give us just a moment?" the redhead asked and then she pulled her friend away. The other two women introduced themselves to John and George but John couldn't be bothered to remember their names. He smiled but even then he looked past them at the other two.
The redhead returned and introduced herself along with Megan. That name John was going to notice and remember. Megan. He smiled.
"I'm Max." he said. He was halfway tempted to give them his real name but in the current climate, even after a couple drinks, he still had enough of his wits about him to know not to do that. Yes this girl was pretty but that did not mean he trusted her or any of them yet. He was actually glad now that they'd taken that moment to confer with each other because if they hadn't he might have been too wrapped up in her gorgeous eyes to say a fake name and he might have just blurted out "John" along with his whole life's history. But he was in control. There was no fear of that now.
...
"This is silly." he told himself. He'd come here to get coffee and that's what he intended on doing. He was going to get coffee. So what if she was in there. Who was she to him? Nobody.
Well, ok. Not nobody. Not absolutely nobody anyway. She was one of a handful of women whom he'd slept with in his life. John wasn't the kind of person to just go sleeping around. Each woman and indeed, each time that he'd ever been sexual was a detailed memory etched into his mind.
And it wasn't like he'd acted like a predator when he met her. He treated her with respect and sleeping with her was the last thing on his mind. But one thing somehow miraculously led to another. That sort of thing never happened to John. Every previous time he'd ever had sex in his adult life it had been after more than a month of dating the woman. And then it would last about another three months and John would be single again for one reason or another.
Each woman left something behind in John's heart but none of them had ever affected him the way this woman had and he'd only known her for a single night. She was his one and only "one night stand". It wasn't his fault she'd done that to him. He had all the right intentions for her.
Maybe he still did. He hadn't dated any other women since her even when he'd been given the chance. No more dating for him. Maybe now, now that she was here, he could tell her that and see what she said. Maybe he could get closure. Maybe now he could finally stop comparing every woman he met to her. Maybe now he could move on and put her behind him.
