One
"Maybe I should just stay home."
I fixed dad's collar while he stared into the bathroom mirror. A mist of cologne floated in the air mixing with the humid temperature from the recently used shower. He was taking a long time to get ready. His eyes darting down nervously. I tried to keep it light as I helped him look his best.
"I haven't been out in years. If I meet someone, what am I going to talk about?"
"That's why you're meeting up with Uncle Jim. You'll be fine," I said as I flipped down the back edge of his collar and stepped back.
I gave my dad the once over. The collard black shirt hung from his wide shoulders. My eyes fell on his defined neck and collarbone. His hair was combed back and neat. For a man his age, black skinny jeans looked good on his toned legs. I smiled on how ridiculously cute and handsome he was. He looked like a lost puppy in a male model fashion show.
"Uncle Jim can be a bit of a wild man. That's why I don't hang out with him."
"I think you need a wild night out. You spend so much time at work and home. I think this will be good for you," Jim wasn't really Matt's brother. Everyone called him Uncle Jim because he seemed to be like everyone's uncle.
"Serena, a quiet night at home with you is all I need."
"I know Dad, but you need to put yourself out there. Mom has been gone a long time. Have some drinks and meet a few people."
Memories invaded my thoughts. I was adopted into the Waters family when I was five. I still remember bright smiles and wide eyes when we first met, the image of them blazed forever into my spirit. Matt and Lily were the best parents an orphan could have. They never let work or personal problems get in the way of family bonds. For the three of us it was the only true way to be happy.
I was eleven when Lily disappeared on a cool autumn night. I remember Matt beside himself in tears. It was hard for us to accept that she was gone. The police could not find any evidence of foul play. It was almost like the world swallowed her up. We spent years looking, flyers covered walls and endless drives to see if we could find a glimpse of her. Eight years later the pain lessened, but it was still there like a scar over our spirit.
Dad touched my cheek and smiled. "If you really feel this will help then I will do it for you."
"Dad, do it for yourself. I'm just going to be here watching a movie and going to bed," I kissed his wrist.
"You are so good to me."
We hugged and held each other. I relaxed into his strong arms, taking in his scent. I had a twinge of wanting to go with him but I knew he needed this. If I was there, he would spend the whole time talking to me and ignoring everything else. Not that I minded but I tried to not be selfish.
The doorbell rang and then it rang two more times. We broke our embrace and laughed. Uncle Jim never liked to wait. We left the bathroom together. I went into the living room and plopped on the couch. Dad went to the door and opened it.
A middle-aged man with spiky hair stood in the doorway and grinned. "You ready to get some tail tonight!" Jim laughed.
Dad let out a sigh and glanced over to me on the couch. Jim looked over and his eyes went a little wide. I gave a medium smile.
"Oh, hi Serena. I thought you might be out with your friends."
"Hi Uncle Jim," I said trying to not roll my eyes.
"Just going to take your old man for a night out on the town. Try to not wait up for us."
"I won't, you guys have a good time."
Dad turned to Jim. "Maybe we should do this another night."
"Are you kidding? I got us into this new club. Everyone will be there."
Jim meant everyone he knew would be there. "Dad! Go and have a good time."
Dad gave me one last mournful look and his shoulders relaxed into defeat. Uncle Jim put his hand on his shoulder and guided him out of the house. I waved goodbye as the door shut behind them. The house became still and I let out a sigh of relief. I picked up the remote and turned on the flat screen.
***
Red dreams lashed out in my mind. I could feel myself falling and desperately trying to grab a hold of something, anything. Lily floated into view, her smile wide and teeth sharp. The world spun like a vortex as her image melted into water and rained away. Spiked walls passed. I reached out, only to be cut. Blood poured like water from a vase. I screamed as the pit below me grew darker. I made one last attempt to grab the spiky wall. Black spears jutted out at me. My body was pierced multiple times and I gasped on how good it felt.
I woke up with a start and nearly fell off the couch. My hand reached up and wiped the sweat from my forehead. The dream was so vivid that I couldn't shake it. I rarely remembered my dreams but this one was so clear. My feet touched the carpet. I looked around the dark house. The last thing I remembered before the dream was turning off the TV, laying back and staring at the ceiling. My eyes fell upon the front door and it was slightly ajar.
I sat up straighter. I knew the door was closed. Why was it open? I got up and went to it. Quietly, I closed it and locked it with a click. There was a rustle from the kitchen. Was dad home already? Did he come in and forget to lock the door?
I moved silently down the hall to the kitchen. The light was on but it was dim. A figure stood by the counter, head down and heaving. My eyes focused and the shadows parted. Dad had his hands on the counter with his back to me.
"Dad?"
The figure lifted his head and turned it slightly. "Serena, I don't feel well."
I rushed to him. He turned to face me. Even in the dim light, his skin was pale and wet. His eyes were wild, darting around but not focusing on me. My hands went to his face and he was cool to the touch.
"Dad, have you been drinking?"
"Uncle Jim is a wild man. We were doing shots, laughing and talking. The bartender seemed to like us. She gave us the house special. It was the foulest drink I ever had but it kicked my ass. Jim ordered another and we downed it. I think it may have been bad. I really don't feel well."
My hands went to his shoulders. Muscles tensed at my touch but soon relaxed. "You need to lay down. Come with me."
The two of us stepped slowly down the hallway. His breathing was heavy and he stumbled a few times. We made it to his bedroom. I tried to ease him into bed but Dad simply collapsed on the firm mattress.
"Seems like you had a good time though," I gave a half smile.
"The room is spinning. I want to get off the ride please," He mumbled with his face buried in the quilt.
I couldn't just let him sleep like that. I put my hands on the side of him and tried to push him onto his back. He was heavy and didn't budge at first. I tried a second time and he moved with my pushing. He flipped onto his back with his arms out. I began unbuttoning his shirt. I undid one by one. Even in the dim light of bedroom, I could see marks on his chest.
"Did something happen? You have little marks on your chest?" I tried to not sound alarmed.
"No idea. Everything kind of went dark after a while," Dad said with a bit of a drunken wisp.
I went to his feet and pulled off his shoes. Dad lay exposed with his open shirt. I couldn't let him sleep in his good clothes. I moved up to his belt and unbuckled it. I glanced up to see his eyes on me. Something primal appeared as I pulled the belt from his pants. I felt a nervous tremble run though me. He eyed me like I was prey. I shrugged it off and undid his pants. Dad was quiet as I undid his zipper and grabbed a pant leg. It took a few heaves but his skinny jeans finally came off. I did the same with his shirt. I tried to not look as dad lay wearing only purple boxer briefs. His body was muscular and strong. The marks on his chest were a little unnerving but other than that his body was immaculate for an older guy.
With one quick motion, I pulled the quilt over his body. Dad's stare was still on me. I looked back at him but felt myself shy away. I sat on the edge of the bed but kept my eyes on the floor.
"Are you going to be okay?" I said concerned.
Dad was silent as a hand moved and touched my hip. It was a light touch but it was enough to make me shiver. I wish I could say it was a bad touch but it was quite the opposite. Matt was a man after all and as much as I didn't want to admit to it, there were times we looked at each other not as family. I knew he hadn't been with a woman since Mom disappeared. I wasn't foolish enough to think he didn't have needs. Why was I thinking about this now? Normally, I just shoved those feelings away or laugh at myself. But now he looked at me with some primal hunger.
Matt's hand touched my thigh and stayed there. I didn't move. His touch was cool and I suddenly felt hot.
"I'm going to bed, Dad," I said in a low whisper.
Matt seemed to understand. His eyes flickered away. His hand moved from my thigh and disappeared under the quilt. I stood up and went to the door. I gave one last look at him. His eyes were closed and his breathing a little fast. I closed the door behind me.
Two
The next day was a little weird. First thing in the morning I checked on Dad and he was still asleep. I figured the night must have been harder on him then I thought. I busied myself making breakfast. I brought it into his room and left it on the end table next to his bed. I tried to wake him but he was still fast asleep. I decided that the smell of the food should wake him up soon and left it there. When I checked on him later, the food was cold and he was still sleeping.
I left the house to run some errands. For sure I thought he would be up by the time I got back. But when I checked on him, he was still asleep. I went to my room and sat in front of my easel. I thought I would get some painting done while dad tried to sleep off last night. My brush would hover over the blank canvas but I couldn't do a single brush stroke. I could feel the worry attacking my thoughts. I soon gave up and went back to the living room. I tried to read a book but ended up reading the same page over and over again.
When an image of my nearly naked father laying on the bed floated through my mind's eye, I felt a twinge deep inside. I couldn't get it out of my head. He was so open. I could tell he wanted me but he was being a good man. It was endearing and frustrating at the same time. Would I give myself up to him if he tried a little harder? These thoughts were getting out of control. I had to think of something else, maybe a cold shower would help. I don't know why this was happening now. Was it his eyes? Was it the way he looked at me? Something changed and I couldn't put my finger on it.
The evening crept in. Light faded from windows and shadows stretched. I stood up and went to check on my dad for the twentieth time. As soon as my hand was within an inch of the doorway, it opened.
"Oh, hi sweetie," Matt smiled at me. He was dressed in a black shirt and jeans
My hands reached out and hugged him. He returned the hug and held me tight.
