A one-scene, one-act play. All participants are 18+ and all characters fictional.
I don't understand it. I'm Joel, a part of a twin set with Julie as the other book end. Of course, I understand that we are twins but don't understand how we became so estranged.
We grew up as close as twins could ever be. We were best friends, protectors and confidants from the time we were in grade school. There wasn't anything we couldn't talk about with each other nor anything we wouldn't do for the other.
We were each other's first fumbling kiss at 10 years old that left us asking what all the hubbub was all about.
We lost our virginities at 18 in connecting rooms after the senior prom. We admitted that it wouldn't have happened if the other wasn't doing the same thing. Somehow, it didn't seem to cross our minds that maybe we should have done it with each other, instead of surrogates. Well, maybe it did in later years. OK, so it certainly did cross MY mind little later.
All through high school, our circle of friends had a big overlap. She had more female friends and I had more male friends but the disparity wasn't great. By common consent, we dated outside of the non-overlapping friends. That wasn't difficult for either of us. Julie started high school at 5'3" and slender. Fair sized boobs and a nice ass. She graduated at 5'4" with really nice boobs. Easily C-cup, 34. I wasn't very tall, 5'9", and kept my weight at or just below 165. I was on the wrestling team the entire high school years. Made all-state in my senior years. Physical features, I was very similar to Julie.
Other than size and sex, we were remarkably similar: dirty-blond hair and blue eyes. Mine were sort of standard blue while her eyes were so blue that when you looked into them you'd think you were looking into the Marianas Trench - which you could fall into and never hit bottom. You'd go a long way just to see her smile. The only thing that stopped her from being a perfect 10 was her nose was a little larger than the common metric required. Of course, my nose was similar, with the addition of it being a little crooked from having been broken one too many times. Didn't make too much difference to me because I wasn't close to a perfect ten, or nine or even seven.
After graduating from high school, we went to an out-of-state university. Since we were freshmen we were required to live in the dorms for the first year. Through some fancy foot work we ended up in the same cluster - her room just down one door and across the hall.
She majored in zoology and I majored in biochemistry. I made the wrestling team as a walk on - no scholarship, though.
So, here we were again - close neighbors and having many of the same classes. So, of course, we frequently studied together and went out. We didn't call them "dates", though.
One Friday, halfway through the first semester, we finished up studying for a calculus exam. "Joel, you want to go bowling?"
"Sure. We haven't been in while."
"Before we go, can I ask you a question?"
"Always. You know that."
"Why are we going out together on a Friday night instead of going out on dates?"
"Julie, I really hadn't given that much thought. We do go out some with others so it's not as if we're social outcasts."
"Maybe we've hung with each other our whole lives and we've just got used to it, like old married couples?"
"Likely. So?"
"Where are we going with the rest of our lives then? I mean, I don't think we're going to get married and raise a family. How are we going to meet our future wife/husband if we're always together?"
"Aren't we jumping the gun a bit? We're just freshmen with at least three more years of college before we graduate. Don't know about you but I don't plan on getting married before then."
"Well, I don't either but the pool of eligible significant others is pretty large here and we aren't sampling it much."
"True. So what are you suggesting? That we separate our rooms next semester? That we don't get an apartment together next year?"
"No, I'm happy with our current arrangement and maybe a common dwelling next year. How about we make a concerted effort to expand our contacts?"
"So, Julie, what you're suggesting is that we act like boyfriend/girlfriend that tell each other they need some space but don't actually break up? That it?"
"Close. We're still twins and that won't ever change. Just not be as close."
"But we're not boyfriend/girlfriend with its sexual component. We're twins and you're my best friend, as well. I'd really, really miss my best friend if we're kind of breaking up. I can understand wanting to expand our social circle but if it comes with losing my best friend...I think it's a very poor tradeoff."
"Joel, that's not what I want either. Not having you around would be awful. That's not what I want, at all...Just, let's try to make new friends and open up dating. OK?"
"All right. I'm not sure how we will work this but OK."
She gives me a kiss on the cheek.
Inside, I'm anything but settled. I've never given much thought to our relationship. It just WAS. Nineteen years is a long time to become used to another person. How do we change that overnight or even slowly over a few weeks?
Maybe she's right that we need to open up. I've never really considered what happens when we graduate. I guess I just assumed that we'd magically find partners and live happily ever after. What will become of us? It's difficult enough to consider losing your best friend but your twin?
I felt we've burned a bridge. Or maybe two bridges: one behind and one in front. Can't help feeling that we've lost that closeness in just a couple of words and never again will we be as comfortable with each other as we were before.
We did make an effort to start dating around. Of course, it was easier for her, as beautiful as she was. Once men got the idea that she was unattached and unencumbered (by me, I assume), she was a very hot item. Seldom was she around on Friday or Saturday nights. Dating scores were five for her and one for me. I just enjoyed when she was around, namely during the week and before exams.
She seemed happy. That was all I could hope for. Because we seemed to have lost the closeness, she didn't talk much about her social life. When she asked about my social life, it seemed perfunctory, without any real interest.
We did keep living together. The next three years saw us sharing a three-bedroom apartment. We added another roommate, Cheri, to help with expenses. She was majoring in chemistry. She's the same age as Julie and me.
Cheri was the direct opposite of Julie. She was a tall, thin redhead. Cute but certainly not beautiful like Julie. Very small chest - she could easily go without a bra, and often did. At first, I had very little attraction or interest in her. Maybe a holdover from her parents. She came out of her shell over the first few months of living with us.
Very quiet, almost no social life. She's our first cousin and we all seemed compatible. Growing up, there wasn't a lot of contact between our parents and Cheri's, so we only met her a few times. Cheri's parents are strict born-again and our parents were, in their eyes, black sheep. So, little contact.
Because of the differences in Julie's and my social lives, Cheri and I were often together on weekend nights. We were drifting into a friends-relationship, much like I used to have with Julie. That really hurt to say that: "used to have with Julie." I didn't try to deny that Julie and I were no longer best friends. We were still twins but I no longer knew what that meant. Guess that meant that I wasn't uncomfortable with her going out all the time, like I was when we started all this crap. I also couldn't deny that I had sexual feeling for Julie, as much as I suppressed those thoughts. She was still exceptionally beautiful.
