I hope this is what you're looking for Mark, and for everyone else a real quickie of drunken mother son sex.
***
My phone played the theme to Ghostbusters, I pulled my boxers up, picked the phone up and swiped the green. Without any form of greeting I started.
"You'll never believe this mate."
"What?"
"I needed a towel and you know we keep them in the airing cupboard in mums room."
"Yeah, so?"
"Well I didn't know mum was home yet, it's only ten, but I walked in and she was stark naked face down on the bed."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, well she 'ad one leg on the floor and the... You alright mate?"
"Yeah why?"
"You sound funny."
"No Mate."
"...on the floor and the other was right over the other side. You sure you're OK?"
"Yeah why?
"It sound like you're panting or summ'it."
"Nah."
"And her arms were like spreadout too."
"What like starshaped."
"Yeah. Well like I said you know what her arse is like, You sure you're OK?
"Yeah, yeah fine mate."
"Well I was fucking 'ard mate."
"Yeah I woulda bin too."
"Well I was 'ard and started wanking."
"Yeah I woulda done too."
"You're doing it now."
"Nah."
"You are, you wanker."
"You are mate, admit it. Anyway I walked over and tossed off over her arse 'n the first lot landed straight on her bunny."
"What bunny?
"She got a playboy bunny tattoo didn't she?
"When?"
"Last year on holiday."
"When?"
""That night they went on the boat party."
"What?"
"Come on mate, that night we went to the latenight theme park, remember?"
"Yeah I remember that, who wouldn't remember fucking those twins in the roller queue?"
"Yeah well that night mum and your mum went on a boat party and got pissed."
"Knew they got pissed but don't remember the boat bit."
"Well after the boat they got tattoos, mum got a playboy bunny on her arse and yours got cats paws on her tit."