In some respects Diana's childhood was unusual. Her mother, Prudence, and her father, Michael, seemed to reverse roles.
It came about because Prudence never really wanted Diana. It was as a result of Michael almost begging her to have a child that she finally relented.
It is said that even the most reluctant mother, on seeing her new born child, automatically loves it, the fruit, as it were, of her womb.
Whether this is generally true or not I don't know but what I do know is that it did not apply to Prudence. She was career and not motherhood oriented and for her Diana was a nuisance, rather like a pebble in one's shoe.
Prudence is, in keeping with the contemporary Church, lay head of one of its departments; ironically it is the Child and Youth Mission Department. This work frequently took her to conferences, seminars and other such gatherings, often keeping her away from home for days and even weeks at a time.
Michael is an architect, and while this work also takes him away from home occasionally, he was certainly more present to Diana than her mother.
Michael loved his pretty little daughter dearly, and it was he who carried out those functions in Diana's life that are generally believed to be the mother's role. It was he who bathed her, changed her, played with her and took her for walks. As Diana grew it was he who helped her select clothes, taught her to swim and play tennis, and at times when Prudence declared herself to be "Too busy," Michael and Diana would go off on holiday together.
It was Diana on whom Michael poured out his love. His relationship with Prudence after the child's birth had become precarious since she blamed him for endangering her career. The consequence was that over the years after the birth they drifted increasingly apart.
It has been noted that a child who feels unwanted and unloved exhibits behaviour that makes it even more unlovable. This often carries over into later life, and so it did with Michael and Prudence.
From the beginning Prudence had shown some jealousy about the loving relationship between Diana and her father. The more this jealousy was made manifest the farther apart husband and wife became. The farther apart they were the more Michael focused his love on his child, and, of course, the more irascible Prudence became.
Michael and Diana frequently gave expression to their love in hugs and kisses, and when Diana was still a child they would spend long periods together, perhaps watching television, or with Michael just reading to her while Diana cuddled up to him.
There were occasions when Prudence, seeing them so happy and contented with each other, would make sneering remarks about their "unhealthy" relationship, and adding, "You're like a couple of lovers."
A critical moment came when Diana was twelve; an age when a girl most needs her mother. Prudence announced that she was leaving Michael, and by association, Diana as well. The reason she gave was "spiritual incompatibility."
After she had departed it was revealed that she had found her "spiritual soul mate" in Arnold, a celibate priest who, deserting his post, became un-celibate with Prudence. Oddly, having objected to having one child with Michael, Prudence gave birth to three children with Arnold, and only the drying up of her fertility stopped her from having more. Such are the strange vagaries of human relationships.
Among those vagaries can be included Prudence's almost total neglect after she left of her firstborn, Diana. Michael and Diana were left to fend for themselves as best they could.
As far as Diana was concerned the departure of Prudence meant the absence of a rival for her father's affection, although towards the end of Prudence's life with them she had hardly been a rival at all, and had lived an increasingly separate life. Nevertheless, Diana felt that she now had her father all to herself.
Diana was entering the spring time of womanhood; the first budding of her breasts; the little triangle of pubic hair, and of course that momentous, and for some girls, the frightening, arrival of her first menstrual period, with no mother to guide her through these changes.
Fortunately Michael's mother, Marion, was to some extent able to help out at this time. It was Marion who took Diana to buy her first bras and panties – panties as opposed to the knickers she had worn as a child. It was this event that led to a change in Michael's view of Diana.
During the evening after the shopping expedition Diana stood looking at herself in her bedroom mirror, dressed only in the newly acquired panties and bras. She felt quite grown up, and always longing for her father's approval she sought him and standing in front of him said, "Look what grandma and I bought today, do you think I look nice?"
Michael looked up from the book he was reading, and felt his face flush. For the first time he fully recognised that Diana was indeed growing towards mature womanhood. She was no longer his child, his "dear little girl."
The shadow of pubic hair could be seen through delicate fabric of Diana's panties; the lacy bras did little to hide her burgeoning breasts with their sweet little pink nipples. Diana bore the promise of becoming an exceedingly beautiful woman.
Michael experienced a lurching sensation in his stomach, and as he recovered from this revelation of his daughter he said, "Yes, you look lovely darling, but I don't think you ought to go around the house dressed like that."
"But daddy, I only wanted to show you..."
"Yes, darling, and you look very nice; now go and put some more clothes on."
Diana, emotionaly on the pivotal point between childhood and maturity, was puzzled and a hurt. Daddy had been a little short with her. She had always paraded her new clothes before him in the past, but this time it seemed as if he wasn't interested. She did not understand the effect she'd had on Michael; that insight was to come much later.
Diana's wish to have Michael all to herself was not fulfilled, although for a long time she did not know why. In his forties Michael was still a very attractive man. His sex life with Prudence after the birth of Diana had passed through several stages; from, not very satisfactory; hardly ever; to never.
He had a quality that seems to be rare among men. He actually believed in his marriage vows. Being "faithful until death parts us" he interpreted as never having sex with anyone but his wife, even if he wasn't having any with her.
Once Prudence had departed, however, he gradually felt free to engage in sexual activity. This freedom was advanced when he learned that it was only six months after Prudence had married her spiritual soul mate that she gave birth to the first child of that union. The indications were clear; Prudence and her celibate soul mate had been engaging in not only spiritual contemplation, but had also been enjoying carnal indulgence before she left Michael.
Released from the matrimonial bond Michael had no difficulty in finding himself a willing partner to relieve him of his long banked up sexual frustrations. This time he was determined that the bonds of marriage would not enmesh him again.
This led to a rather confusing problem for Michael. Obviously he was not the promiscuous type as witness his faithfulness to Prudence, but one of the things he would dearly liked to have happened was for there to be more children in his life. The ladies with whom he copulated were not willing to provide him with more offspring without marriage.
Hence over the course of five or six years Michael became a one woman man, but it was a case of one woman at a time. As each successive lover became aware that marriage was not the end product Michael had in mind, her passion cooled.
Poor Michael; from the first with Prudence and now with the women he attracted, he had been from his perspective, "unlucky in love." I think deep inside Michael longed for a permanent relationship, but his experience with marriage had made him wary, and truth to tell, a trifle cynical.
Diana too had her problems, and these centred mainly on her father. It was not that Michael loved her less, but the pleasures that he found with his inamoratas led to his seeing less of Diana than had once been the case. In addition, when they were together he was less tactile with her than he had been during her childhood. Being herself a very demonstrative girl and having always been used to giving expression to her love and emotions, she started to feel rejected. This, strangely enough, led to the loss of her virginity.
Once she had started to become sexually aware, Diana had explored herself and learned the joys of her clitoris. At night, with the fingers of one hand gently pressing a nipple, with a finger of her other hand she would circle her clitoris, and this of course meant that she quickly discovered the pleasures and pains of the female orgasm.
Having discovered her sexual self, and with the decline in Michael's tactile relationship with her, Diana was open to someone else who might give her the loving hugs she was missing with her father. The difficulty was that like her father she had a rather virtuous attitude to sex.
So it was that one night when Michael was out visiting his latest lover, Diana invited a boy called Reginald to her house; the reason for his visit given to Michael being a joint effort with their homework. This was sincerely meant by Diana; as for Reginald's initial motives, we shall probably never really know for sure.
Perhaps Michael was naïve to leave two sixteen year olds alone together, but so be it.
Diana was undoubtedly a very attractive girl, and since she was not among those girls at school who regularly enjoyed the penetration of their vaginas by the potent penises of the male students, she was seen to be a something of a challenge.
During the course of that homework evening Reginald, started by tentatively putting his arm round Diana, and then by cautious steps went on to kissing, hugging, and breast fondling. He almost had his wicked way with Diana – almost, but not quite.
