(Author's note: While I was working on a new chapter for "My Master Down the Hall," I started to wonder what a brother-sister relationship might look like without a strong, loving family. This story is much more somber and, hopefully, realistic than most of what I've written before. There is also quite a lot of build-up before any sex, so you're warned. All characters are over eighteen years of age, etc. –TheWorldSpins)
Tammy wished her brother Max would say something to her, anything, even just to yell at her. Sometimes he just tuned people out, as if they weren't there, and it had always infuriated her when she was growing up. He could be almost inhuman at times.
Tap tap tap.
Throughout the agonizingly slow car ride, her leg had never stopped tapping, her constant motion in marked contrast to Max's stolid exterior as he steered the old Accord. Tammy's left leg, tanned golden and bare to the mid-thigh, bounced up and down, catching Max's eye as he drove.
God she's growing up...
"Could you stop that?" he asked laconically, his voice betraying only a little annoyance and absolutely no trace of his awkward, unexpected appreciation for his sister's feminine form.
Tammy clamped one hand down on her knee, though it only served to transfer her nervous energy to running her fingers through her long, wavy blonde hair. She looked over at Max, whose own hair was, as always, short-cropped and dark. They didn't really look much alike.
"That, too," he asked. "It's distracting."
As late as it was, there was little traffic on the road. They sped through a series of flashing yellow traffic lights. Tammy always liked it when the lights took the night off. There was something magical late at night, like things were possible then that weren't in the light of day.
"Are you mad?" she asked, strangely hoping he was.
Max waited so long to respond that Tammy almost thought he didn't hear her. Then, with the faintest of head turns, just barely enough to signal his recognition of her presence, he spoke.
"Nope."
"Don't have a lecture for me?"
"Nope."
"Did you miss me?"
"Who's to say?"
That last one pissed Tammy off. Max could be impossibly cryptic when he didn't want to be honest with her.
"Don't care your baby sister almost went to jail tonight?" she asked with growing frustration.
They reached an actually functioning red light and stopped. Max turned slightly more towards her.
"I came, didn't I?" he said, his voice a little warmer.
Tammy felt a little bad. She wanted Max to care about her, even though he never showed it any more. She had to admit, though, that picking her up at 2 AM from Wal-mart after she was caught shoplifting was a pretty decent thing for an older brother to do.
"Yeah, you did. Thanks," she said sheepishly. "So, not to be an asshole or anything, but I'm starving. Any chance we could get something to eat?"
Tammy was hungry, but most of all, she didn't want to go back home. Anywhere but there.
"It's late. I'm sure there's food back home," he said, seemingly oblivious to her ulterior motives.
Tammy's voice took on a hopeful lilt.
"You mean
your
house?"
If she was lucky, Max might consent to let her crash on his couch. His place was actually pretty nice, if a little spartan. Most of all, Tammy wanted to avoid waking her parents in the middle of the night, even if she could simply lie about where she was. Knowing them, they would assume the worst about her in any event.
"Very funny," Max replied. "You're going back to Mom and Dad's."
"Please, Max. Just one night. I'll go back tomorrow, promise."
Tammy didn't want to interrupt this time: Max had gone into one of his "zones." She knew he was thinking things over, turning over every possible objection, every contingency and possibility. Sometimes, she was in awe of the way her brother could think. Other times, she wished he'd get out of his own head and take notice of other people in the world.
"No," he said, with the finality of a judge pronouncing a sentence. "You belong there."
"Then let me out here," she said defiantly.
"So what? You can get killed on the side of the road?" he asked incredulously. "Not happening."
"Who are you to tell me what to do?"
"The guy you called to keep from getting arrested," he said.
Tammy's anger flared. Why couldn't he talk to her like he used to?
"I called my brother. I don't know who the fuck you are," she said with a wounded outrage.
With the car moving as slowly as it was, Tammy figured she could get out easily enough. She opened the door, only to realize that the road can be deceptive: the car was moving faster than she had reckoned. The force of opening the door almost knocked her out of the car, and Max slammed on the brakes, grabbing her across the chest to hold her back in. His mask of indifference had shattered, though she couldn't tell if he was pissed at her for opening the door or embarrassed for inadvertently feeling up her tits.
"Are you fucking crazy?" he shouted at the top of his lungs.
His words hit Tammy like a hammer blow. She had her answer: Max, the person she cared about more than anyone in the whole world, was using the "c" word. She started to cry, tears of sadness and anger.
"Fuck. You." She said, punctuating each word with a middle finger. "You're just like them."
With the car now stopped in the middle of the road, she dashed out and made a run for it, heading towards the now deserted strip mall she could see up ahead. Max followed after her, heedless of his car now parked in the middle of the street. Tammy had always been more athletic than he was, and Max found it difficult to catch up to her. Though he had every reason to be angry, after giving chase for a minute her found himself in awe of her graceful, muscular body as she ran from him.
She had never been a skinny girl, but exercise and sports had turned her body into a lithe, beautifully-proportioned form, which suited her rounded, soft features well. He stopped to admire her, letting her run herself exhausted while he broke into a slower jog. If he couldn't catch her, he might as well just wait for her to come back to him, assuming she would.
After Max gave chase for as long as he could, he collapsed in a heap outside a darkened nail salon. He could see Tammy round the corner at the Discount Shoe Warehouse and dart behind the building before disappearing.
Sitting on the cold concrete curb, Max felt a strange feeling, one he hadn't felt in a while. Despite his better than average vocabulary, he couldn't put a finger on exactly what the right word for it was. It wasn't fear, or concern, or anger, or anything like what he assumed he should be feeling. He remembered feeling it when Tammy broke her arm in second grade and he rode with her to the hospital from school. A strange smile broke across his face, and he shook his head just a little.
He was exhausted enough to easily slip into one of his zones again. He was thinking without thinking; Tammy knew that state better than probably anyone else in the world. After about ten minutes, she returned and wasn't surprised to see him sitting there, patiently waiting for her.
"I didn't think you'd chase after me," Tammy said from behind him.
Max startled a little bit. She looked at him more closely.
"Are you smiling, weirdo?" she said, her voice less harsh than before.
Max stroked his chin a little, laughing inside that her breath was still heaving while his had long since calmed.
"Christ, you're in good shape," he said. "I feel like I'm a hundred years old now."
Tammy smiled too. It felt good for him to actually talk to her at all. It had been so long.
"Max, I'm serious," she said, though the stupid grins they shared belied that notion. "I'm fucking starving. Take me to Denny's or I'll make you find me in the woods."
Sitting on the curb, Max had already decided that he'd let Tammy crash at his place, so there was little harm acceding to her request now.
"Fine, as long as you promise not to steal the tips off the other tables," he said sarcastically.
"Very funny," she said. "I'll just steal your wallet instead."
They trekked back to the road, both thankful nothing gruesome had befallen the Accord. Once they reached Denny's, a place they both agreed was the worst restaurant at which they would ever voluntarily eat, little remained of the argument before. Tammy felt much more at ease, now that Max had dropped his rigid exterior. He was almost treating her like an equal and not a child.
They settled in and ordered, making snarky little comments to each other about the place along the way. It was like they were young again, only to Tammy's joy, their five year age difference didn't mean as much anymore. She had only been thirteen when Max left for college, and seeing him since then was a rare experience. She hadn't even expected him to pick up when she called, desperate and in the hands of the night security guard.
"So I'm sure Emily's pissed, right?" she said to Max apologetically. "Tell her I'm sorry."
Max dropped his smile. Tammy saw that tense look he got whenever he didn't want to say something: it hadn't changed since he was a boy.
"So, Emily doesn't care. Because she's, you know, gone. For good," he stammered.
"What!?!" Tammy said, her shock played up just a little bit in light of her own longstanding dislike of Max's girlfriend. "You guys have been together for like three years."
"We were together two," he corrected. "We broke up over a year ago."
All the playfulness in Tammy's voice evaporated.
"Are you kidding me? You fucking bastard."
Max was confused.
"Wait, I didn't think you liked Emily," he said, trying to recapture the joking mood.
"I didn't—don't. But I also don't like you not telling me, like, huge shit in your life. What the fuck is wrong with you, Max? I'm your sister," she said, genuinely hurt.
It had been hard being cut out of Max's life, but deep down, Tammy had always believed they shared a special bond. More and more, though, she wondered if she was deluding herself.
"It...it never came up," he said, his apology half-hearted even in his own ears.
Tammy picked at her food quietly. She had lost much of her appetite. Max tried eating, acting normal, but couldn't ignore the icy silence and disappointment of his baby sister, crossing her arms right below her chest and staring at the plate of food.
She looked better when she smiled, and would have given anything to see it light up her face at that moment. Tammy's chubby cheeks, the thing about herself that she most hated, were Max's favorite feature on her, but only when she smiled. Then she practically glowed.
Twenty minutes passed.
"So...shoplifting, huh?" he asked.
Tammy returned only silence.
"Take me back to Mom and Dad's," was her only reply.
