I woke up to the light streaming through my bedroom window directly into my face. I had a splitting headache, probably from all the tequila the night before, and I felt like I was in a haze. I glanced over at the clock -- 10:03AM. Didn't surprise me that I'd slept in late after being up half the night drunk. I needed coffee. No, I needed aspirin. Sitting up to get dressed and get both, I realized what I really needed right then was a bathroom. I ran naked to the bathroom door and bumped my head into the doorframe trying to get it open quickly enough. I barely made it.
I can't quite explain the absolute agony of hanging my head over the toilet with dry heaves while my bladder was bursting at the seams. I was the perfect poster child for anti-drinking ads. The pain in my temples surged like an electric current with each crushing contraction of my stomach to expel something that was simply no longer there. Each compression pushed hard onto my full bladder. Any moment I would lose it and simply pee on the floor while I heaved. God don't let me pee on the floor, please don't let me pee on the floor.
The contractions finally started to subside, and while I didn't win the battle completely, there was only a small pool of urine on the patterned vinyl floor that needed to be wiped up. Too exhausted by the ordeal to stand and pee, I sat on the toilet seat and released my bladder from its former agony, relief at last. The biggest relief being that no one walked in while I was simultaneously heaving into the toilet and peeing on the floor.
It was at this time that I heard a knock on the door between the bathroom and Jen's bedroom.
"Are you ok in there?" I heard Jen ask in a concerned voice.
"I am now," I croaked through my dry throat, "not so much a minute ago."
"Do you need me to get you anything?"
"That's ok, I'll be out in a minute." I said, not wanting her to come in and see me naked on the toilet with my feet spread on either side of a pool of yellow fluid on the floor. "Thanks, though." I added.
"Ok."
I finished my business in the bathroom, spent a few minutes cleaning up and brushing my teeth, then got dressed and went downstairs, praying that someone had the foresight to set out a bottle of aspirin and brew a pot of coffee. Jen was sitting at the kitchen table, dressed for once. Collette was sitting at her desk in the living room talking on the phone and staring at her laptop computer screen. I was pleasantly surprised to see a nearly-full pot of coffee on the counter.
"So I guess you had just a few too many shots last night, eh?" Jen laughed at me from across the room as I pulled a mug out of the cupboard to pour some coffee.
"Yeah," I said, "I feel like I was hit by a freight train."
"Go ahead and drink your coffee, but if you want to start feeling better, you should really drink a bunch of water first." Jen said, "The hangovers from drinking are mostly due to dehydration. There's some aspirin in the drawer to your left if you're interested."
"Ok," I said, pouring some milk into my coffee. I took Jen's advice and drank two full glasses of water quickly, along with a few aspirin, then came to sit at the table with my precious dark brew.
"Where's Tammy?" I asked, remembering that when I'd left Jen's bedroom the previous evening, they both were still there.
"She had to get up early and go run some errands this morning," Jen said, "We didn't want to wake you, so she told me to tell you she had a great time last night." Jen winked at me.
Collette finally finished her phone call and walked to the kitchen table with her mug of coffee. She leaned over me and gave me a kiss on the cheek before sitting down between me and Jen.
"Good morning, sleeping beauty!" She said, "Thanks for putting me in bed last night."
"No problem," I chuckled quietly, "you looked like you needed the help!"
"I was disappointed to be without my built-in-bed-furnace," Collette winked at me, "it was kind of cold last night."
"Sorry," I said, smiling back at her, "I guess I just didn't want to wake you." Truthfully, I hadn't thought much about it, I was pretty drunk and just looking for a place to sleep.
"Well, I just got a call from the director of my department," Collette said, "there's a teaching conference in California that starts tomorrow, but he's come down ill and can't make it. The department has already pre-paid his fees, so he asked me if I could go in his place."
"Tomorrow? Are you going to try to make it?" I asked.
"Yes, there's a flight that leaves this evening out of Sea-Tac that I can get onto, but I need to leave pretty soon. It's in Monterey." She looked over at me, "Mark, I was wondering if you'd like to come with me? It's only for a couple of days, and it would be fun to have you with me."
"I'm afraid I can't really afford to," I said, "I'm just a poor college student! Besides, I'm supposed to work on Tuesday."