I should have seen the signs. Looking back, I can tell they were always there from the beginning.
While we were growing up, my sister Kaylee and I mostly got along ok. That is until middle school, when our paths forked. We fought more then. A gap emerged that widened through high school.
Before middle school, though, I was determined to be the greatest big sister ever. Even though I was two years older, I always included Kaylee in my plans and let her hang out with me and my friends. Our nearest neighbor, Becca, was my age, and the three of us played together regularly.
From an early age, though, Kaylee wanted to dictate the rules to all of our games and adventures. I used to let her have her way. I thought it would be good for her self-confidence. She could be unbearable when she lost or if she didn't get to control everything. It was easier just to give in.
When I reached eighth grade, Kaylee was still in elementary school. I decided I was too grown up to continue putting up with her attitude and started to assert myself more. That's when the trouble started.
.............
I remember one incident in particular. I had been acting aloof, avoiding my sister like I couldn't be bothered with her. Becca and I were goofing off in my room and I made sure we avoided Kaylee.
After a while, I suggested to Becca that we jump in the pool. We splashed around for a while when Kaylee and her friend Naomi joined us. Kaylee must have called Naomi when she realized she wasn't going to be invited to hang out with Becca and me.
After they got in, Kaylee cheerfully suggested, "Hey, Bailey, why don't you show Naomi how well you can swim under water?" Kaylee knew I was proud of my ability to hold my breath. I could swim all the way from one end of the pool to the other and back!
"Ok," I said like it was nothing special. After a couple of deep breaths, I ducked under and started swimming. On the way back, I could see three pairs of legs standing in a little triangle. I was a little annoyed because it seemed like Naomi and Becca weren't even paying attention.
When I finally popped up right next to them, they were all looking at me and grinning. They had been talking about something while I was under water. Feeling left out, I immediately suggested, "Come on, Becca, let's get out."
"No, I'm having fun here," Becca replied.
I was shocked. Becca almost always went along with whatever Kaylee or I said. Like Kaylee, she was athletic and fit, but she played soccer and looked built for it. Becca was almost my height, but stocky with big, muscular thighs and broad shoulders. She kept her dull brown hair short. If she weren't so clean skinned and cherubic, you'd say she looked boyish.
I frowned back at the three of them, but stopped climbing out of the pool.
"I know!" Kaylee burst out. "Let's have a chicken fight!"
"That sounds like fun!" Becca replied enthusiastically. Naomi giggled delightedly.
"Since y'all are the biggest," Kaylee said, waving her fingers at Becca and me, "you'll have to be on the bottom. Who do you want on your shoulders?"
Becca turned and looked at me. Letting me pick first was her usual way, but her weird smile should have warned me something was up.
Given my rebellion from the constant rule of Kaylee, there was no way I was letting her up on my shoulders. "I'll take Naomi," I said optimistically.
Naomi was in Kaylee's class. She had dark hair that curled luxuriously past her shoulders and contrasted nicely with her pale complexion. She had a sly face with thin, crimson lips and a long aquiline nose, which normally I didn't like, but it worked for her. Though younger than me, Kaylee and Naomi were both already my height. Unlike Kaylee, Naomi was lanky, with thin, knobby legs ending in big feet, like Kaylee's, but narrower.
"Ok!" Naomi replied quickly, showing her perfect teeth with a broad smile.
We went to opposite sides of the pool and Kaylee climbed on Becca's shoulders while Naomi climbed on mine. "First team where one or both fall loses" Kaylee reminded us, needlessly since we'd all played at pool parties before.
We approached each other slowly from our opposite corners, each team knowing that a faulty move early could lead to an easy overthrow of the person on top. I was hesitant to engage Becca because if I let go of Naomi's legs, it might be too easy for Kaylee to wrestle her off. At first, Becca took the same approach, holding Kaylee's thighs snugly to her shoulders.
Kaylee was quick to grab the initiative, along with a handful of Naomi's hair. She pulled Naomi's head to the side while Naomi grasped ineffectively at the arm holding her hair and flailed open-handed at Kaylee's shoulder.
Kaylee protected herself by grabbing Naomi's swinging arm. Then she started kicking out with her feet.
Releasing Naomi's legs to protect myself, I put both arms up in front of my face. Becca quickly reached out and grabbed both of my arms, pinning them at my sides.
As I struggled to break free from Becca's grasp, Kaylee repeatedly stomped her feet against my cheeks and forehead, even hitting me in the eyes and mouth.
I looked up to see why Naomi wasn't putting up a better offense. Kaylee should have been easy to dislodge the way her legs were swinging, especially with Becca pinning me instead of holding onto her. Or Naomi could have been dishing out similar punishment to Becca to make it easier for me to wriggle free.
Between the pummeling my face was receiving at the bottoms of Kaylee's feet, I saw Naomi and Kaylee had locked hands. At first glance, they appeared to be trying to wrestle each other off. But then realization dawned.
Naomi's halfhearted arm grabbing had the side effect of bracing Kaylee securely from the top, leaving her legs free to launch their face battering attack. The three of them had set me up.
"Wait! Wait! Time out!" I screamed as Kaylee held her left foot against one side of my face while she slapped the other side with the long sole of her foot, stinging me from my chin to my temple. After a couple of firm slaps, everyone paused. Becca loosened her grip on my wrists without fully releasing me. Kaylee rested her feet on Naomi's thighs, with her big toes just touching my cheeks.
"What's wrong?" Kaylee asked innocently as the three of them smirked at me.
"Nothing. I just don't want to play any more." I replied sullenly. Determined not to cry, I ducked under and slipped my head out from between Naomi's thighs. Without looking back, I grabbed my towel and went to my room.
I pouted for a while and eventually looked out my window, curious what they were doing.
They had stayed by the pool. Kaylee and Naomi were on lounge chairs pulled side by side. On the opposite side, each had a little table with a glass of peach soda. Becca had her towel spread at the foot of their chairs, her head even with the foot of Kaylee's lounge. She had a book in front of her, but her gaze, like Naomi's, was focused on Kaylee. Kaylee waved her arms animatedly as she babbled, no doubt carrying on with one of her scandalous hyperboles.
.............
It took a few weeks, but I still hung out with Becca after that. We never talked about the day in the pool, though. Becca continued to be friendly with Kaylee, too. I always found something else to do if the two of them got together. I got the feeling that sometimes Kaylee would come by and find something else for Becca to do, just to prove she could take my friend anytime she wanted.
Kaylee started playing other mind games around then, too. For one thing, she was always positioning herself so that she could stick her big size 10 feet in my face.
Kaylee picked up cheerleading for the middle school squad in seventh grade which required her to stay late after school. Mom made me stay and watch their practices so she could pick us both up at the same time. I didn't mind really. I just sat in the stands and did homework.
One day early in the season, they had had a long practice made worse because it was super hot. When we got home, Kaylee and I sat at the kitchen table while mom made us a fresh peach smoothie. Kaylee slipped off her black and white saddle oxfords and put her socked feet right up on the table. The bright, lacy white socks at her ankles curved down to her feet and turned a damp, dingy, clingy gray with even darker patches neatly outlining her toes and footprint.
"Get your smelly feet off the kitchen table you slob!" I scolded.
"No, they're hot and tired and the air is cooler up here." She replied. I gave her my well honed, "how can you possibly be so stupid" look.
"Moomm!?" I entreated, though I probably should have known better. I always suspected that Kaylee was mom's favorite, but mom's faΓ§ade of sibling equality had been rapidly eroding since Kaylee made squad.