"I thought I told you we had finished," Jim said, shocked at seeing me in my school uniform.
"I'm not letting Becky down Jim. If I don't do this then I will have failed her again."
He nodded after awhile. This was my decision to carry on, and after what she had already gone through I felt it would go someway to helping her.
"So we carry on?"
"Yes, then when she goes to university it will just be you and me. We can have a normal life together."
"What do you mean by you and me?"
I felt flustered by the suspicion in his eyes.
"Nothing it will be OK then. When Becky goes away things will sort themselves out."
"Oh I see, get rid of my daughter you mean!" he spat.
"NO, no I didn't mean that at all," I pleaded.
"Not much, do you know how hard it has been for her? Not just with what happened, but not having a mother since she was 3 years old. How bloody selfish can you get Carol?"
He stormed into the bathroom leaving me to regret my decision now. Why the hell couldn't I have just kept my mouth shut? Last night he was going to take me home and we would be a proper family. But I had just talked myself into another 4 ½ months of pretending to be a bloody schoolgirl!
So we carried on for the next week and I was back in Becky's room, well my room I suppose. Still at least Zack seemed to leave me alone. I think he must have realised he had pushed me as far as he should.
We settled into our History class with Mr Bird. I enjoyed history when I was a schoolgirl, I mean a proper schoolgirl. Mr Bird was nice, all the girls fancied him. He was 29 about 6 feet tall and slim, and he had short brown hair, and a smile that made your toes curl! I was fast becoming his favourite, I think because I seemed to know more than the others in my class. Of course Della and a few others picked up on it. But I honestly wasn't aware that I was swooning as much as the other girls. Although when he gave you that cute smile, when his dimples appeared in his cheeks, I blushed as much as the others. So there I was waiting to ask him a question as the class emptied. He began talking to me and I found myself tipping my head to one side and swaying slightly. I really had to concentrate on the answer he was giving me. Fantasies flashed through my head. I tried to stop imagining us on a secluded beach but I just couldn't! Then he started going on about how impressed he was with my work, he and Miss Newark swapped notes on me apparently. Yes I was blushing by all the compliments and praise he heaped on me. I just hoped I could live up to his expectations.
So that is how I came to miss my bus and take up the offer of a lift home with Mr Bird. He stopped to fill up with fuel on the way, that's when I noticed the damp feeling between my legs. I told myself to stop thinking things about him. But I knew my fantasy that night would be about Mr Bird and me.
I did my chores as usual after school. Yes I had chores, well Becky was a lazy so and so. I usually made tea, washed up, and ironed Jim's shirts. But at least she ran the vacuum cleaner round the house. Maybe one day she would learn to plug it in and switch the damn thing on!
So there I was up in my bedroom listening to 'Take That' god they were sexy. I had posters of them in my room. Now that might seem a little strange to you. But I had to keep up with the music for appearances at school. So I suppose if you listen to it long enough you begin to like it?
"So who is Dave Bird?"
I looked up at Becky from my bed. She had one of my exercise books. I blushed scarlet. I had been scribbling his name on my books with little love hearts. Jesus I didn't even realise it but I must have started doing it a few weeks ago!
"You've got a crush on your teacher," Becky said, with a teasing little laugh.
I snatched the book out of her hand. God this was so bloody humiliating! I mean how the hell I could be so stupid. I was only playing at this and I was scribbling a teachers name on my books!
"The other girls like him, I, I thought I had better let them think I fancied him too."
She gave me that I don't believe you look. But she let it drop.
That was bloody stupid. She better not think I fancied him for real! That night I fingered myself to an orgasm, as visions of Dave and I filled my head.
Becky caught me watching her the next day. I had been for a few days now.
"So are you going to ask me something?"
She stood watching me. I knew she wouldn't let it drop.
"Becky how do you, I mean how come you, well after what..."
"Jesus spit it out! You want to know how I managed to get over it so quick. Well I haven't, I just pretend things are normal. Maybe I should have seen someone but I don't want people knowing what happened."
"Becky I'm sorry I didn't mean to bring it up again," I mumbled pathetically.
"Hell Carol I'm trying to deal with it. Why do you think I have sex with dad?"
I went to get up but she stopped me.
"Because I trust him, I want sex with guys my age, whether it's right or wrong for me I don't know. But at the moment I'm thinking of the kid falling off the bike thing. So I have to get back on and pedal, pedal my heart out," she said, with tears streaming down her face.
I cuddled her to my chest as she sobbed. Her shaking, clinging fingers dug into my skin. Then all of a sudden she pushed herself away.
"No I don't need you to hold me. I'm stronger than you anyway," she said, sniffing back more tears.
"Becky I'm trying to help you," I said, reaching out to her.
"Yeah well maybe you should have helped me back then!" she yelled.
I watched as she calmed down, and that sick little grin spread across her face.
"Anyway I'm getting my own back on you now. Everything I do, making you dress like a slut is just to get back at you. But it will never ever compensate for you not taking your turn!" she spat.
I stayed in the kitchen for the next hour sorting out something for tea. Becky came in and poured herself a squash.
"Don't mention it again Carol," she said, without looking at me, "now what's for tea?"
Just 2 weeks later I was slow to leave my history class. Dave, I mean Mr Bird had asked Ken and me to put things away. Ken bleated on about how he was playing in the school football match so he got out of it. I was in the small store cupboard up on the steps. Mr Bird was watching me; I could feel his eyes on my legs and ass. I could just make out him moving slowly to the cupboard. It had me trembling, and the books slipped from my hands and went tumbling to the ground. He was in the cupboard now picking up the books. I turned round a little, and from where he was knelt he could see straight up my skirt! I held my breath, as I watched his eyes travel ever so slowly up my legs. His face looked flushed, probably as flushed as mine felt.
"You've got a hole in your tights Becky," he mumbled softly.
I looked down and saw the hole just below the control top of my honey coloured tights. But worse than that I had twisted round and moved down a step, only my hem didn't! I saw my little white panties under the thin micromesh of my tights! Even worse than that I could feel how wet they were, and he could probably see the aroused state I was in.
"Have I Sir?" I gulped finally.
I felt his hand on my knee and it slowly travelled up my leg. I just stood there trembling, my eyes danced from his hand to his eyes. He seemed to realise what he was doing, and worried expression came over his face. He slowly pulled his hand away. I just grabbed it and put it back on my thigh.