Getting Lucky
The first time I ever fucked my big sister was completely unplanned, I swear.
Do you know those hotel suites for big gamblers that you read about with the stripper poles? It starts there. I'm a bit of a degenerate gambler. I live a pretty quiet life in a city in Nebraska as a law clerk. You can live inexpensively. Then twice a year, I go to Vegas and blow it all. I mean, all of it. If I have a nickel in my pocket on the way out of town, I drop it into the airport slot machines. And if I win off that, I might have to put off my flight. I don't have to gamble it all... there's plenty of things to spend money on in Vegas. But it's all going to expensive, adult fun.
So the year I'm talking about, I took my big sister Marta. I get some pretty nice offers from casinos, and sometimes my family members like to take advantage. Marta's not much of a gambler, but she likes to drink and have fun. The first night I'm there, my sister gets all dolled up to meet with some friends. I take a nap, and have a little walk down the Strip. I play a little of this and that as I go, nothing serious. This craps table catches my eye, and after blowing through $20K in half an hour, I went on a run. Suddenly, I was up $150K and this casino host, Geoff, was my new best friend. He finds out I have a room in a casino nearby, and of course, that won't do at all. I must stay here! So to make sure I move, he offers me what he calls the action suite. Pool table, wet bar, stripper pole with a shower. He takes me up and shows me around. There's this two story high living room with windows looking out on the Strip, like thirty-five floors up. A fully stocked wet bar is on one side ("Everything comped," Geoff says) and this stripper pole is on the other. It goes up two stories, the whole way to the ceiling. There are showerheads on two sides. A pool table with red felt in the middle finishes it. Everything smells a little like disinfectant, but even a fratboy's perfect fantasy has to make some nod to cleanliness.
"What's the rent here?" I asked him.
"For you," said my new best friend, "all this and everything in it is free."
"Well I guess you got a deal," I said.
I called up my sister to tell her about my luck. There was loud music in the background when she answered, and she had to call me back.
"Where are you now?" I asked.
"I'm in the bathroom, with my underwear around my knees. What's up?" asked Marta.
"You didn't have anything to eat," I said.
"Nope! Too busy drinkin'! These people I'm with, Danny, they are a bad influence on me. Very, very bad."
I told her about my win and the action suite, and she screamed.
"That's crazy! Oh my God! You are the luckiest fucker! My fucking brother is the luckiest fucker in Las Vegas!" I could hear whoops in the bathroom.
"Bring the girls up," I said, and told her the room number.
"You wish! I'm having too much fun! We'll all come up tomorrow or something. Hey!" she said indignantly into the phone. "Are you leaving me a whole hotel room to myself all night long in this town of loosened inhibitions?"
"I guess I am," I said.
"Well, call first," she said and guffawed.
My sister is married and has two little kids. Her husband Tom is an office manager, kind of dull. I don't know what he does for fun, and he doesn't know what I do either.
"Oh my God," Marta said. "Shellie just handed me a fucking shot under the stall door. A fucking shot! Shellie, what is this?"
I heard a voice in the background yell, "Just drink it you dirty slut!" and my sister screamed with laughter.
"Danny," my sister said very seriously, "I want you to know that normally I would never drink a shot that someone handed me under the door of a toilet stall." There was more laughter from Shellie and others.
"But this is Vegas," I said.
I heard a gulp.
"Is your bra still on?" I asked.
"Still on what?" she said. "See you in the morning!"