AFTER
"...Speaking of which, did I tell you that a squirrel humped my leg today?"
"What?" I ask, startled to find Erin still sitting beside me. Didn't she have cheer practice?
"Did you hear anything I just said? I was telling you about Brittney Daily! She gave Roman Garcia a blowjob in her parents' bedroom!" she says.
"She did?" I vaguely remember hearing this five minutes ago, but I was too distracted for it to register.
Erin smiles mischievously, red hair going every which way, her green eyes wide with smug satisfaction at telling me something I hadn't already known.
I love my best friend, but she loves a good scandal, and is happy to spread gossip any day that ends with a 'y'.
Usually, this kind of thing would amuse me, but not today.
All I could think about were yesterday's events, they kept playing in my head like a video that was stuck on repeat and no matter how hard I try, I can't stop it.
"Yesssss, but that's not the best part. Hear this, her dad
caught
them! He punched Roman in the face and kicked him out" she cackles, "the funniest thing is when I asked Brittney about it, she said Roman stayed
hard
, even after her dad caught them." She laughs.
She looks at me then, and sees that I'm not as scandalized as she'd hoped I would be.
She frowns, "What is with you today? You're acting like you've lost your favorite lipstick."
I snort, wishing that were the case.
"I'm fine, sitting next to Icky Vicky for the last period gave me a headache." which was half true, the girl has serious hygiene problems.
Erin scrunches her nose in disgust, and shrugs casually as if that explained everything.
"Sucks, well I gotta go. Cheer starts in five and Shelby will have my ass if I'm late."
"Yeah okay, see you tomorrow then..." I say, feeling bad for basically brushing her off, although she didn't seem to mind.
"'Kay bye babe" she says and trots off.
I sit on the bench at the school entrance waiting for Drew to show up. It's Wednesday, which meant he's picking me up rather than me taking the subway home. He's never forgotten me, never even been late. But after what happened yesterday, I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't show up at all.
I've been waiting for twenty minutes and Drew is still a no-show. I feel like the biggest idiot for being the only person still waiting in the parking lot.
There's no one here except for those at practice.
After five more minutes, I decide I've reached the limit of my daily idiocy and stand up to leave, brushing the back of my dress as I go. Just as I'm about to exit the parking lot, I get a text.
I look down at my phone and my heart seems to flutter and sink at the same time as I see Drew's name.
'I'm here'
that's all the text says. I look around me, and look for his car. I immediately spot his black Audi among the crowd of cars.
I walk over to his car. My legs feel like they're being dragged through quicksand, but somehow I manage to get there.
I take a deep breath, as I find the handle of his car door, and pull it.
"Hey" I say.
"Hey" he replies.
BEFORE
I sat on the couch in the living room, feet propped up on the coffee table and body slunk down as far as possible.
Feeling frustrated, I figured the best way to forget about my day is to have a Channing Tatum movie marathon.
Hence why 21
st
jump street is on.
But even Tatum's glorious beauty seems to be lacking it's magic today.
The sound of the front door unlocking shifts my attention from the movie and to the only person that could possibly make me feel better.
My best friend.
Drew.
Also known as, my stepfather.
Now, I know it's weird for an eighteen-year-old to be best friends with her stepfather, but having a schedule like mine didn't really allow me to make many friends.
I never minded though, Drew is amazing. Always has been.
Since I was eleven years old, when he and my mother got married, he's taken care of me like I was his own daughter; He took me to every ballet lesson, attended every recital. He taught me how to ride a bike and when the time came, how to drive.
He was there for me when my real dad wasn't.
When my real dad was too busy getting drunk or screwing some girl with a dessert for a name instead of being with his family.
My relationship with my mom is... strained. She had me when she was fifteen. She and my dad decided to do the honorable thing, for the first and last time in their lives, and got married. Clearly, things didn't work out. They divorced within a few months. My dad made an appearance once a month, but hadn't actually taken part in raising me.
My mother somehow managed to raise me on her own, and finish high school with surprisingly high grades. She went straight to law school, following in her father's footsteps.
When she finished high school, my mother hired a nanny to take care of me.
At first I really liked it, but after the fifth nanny I couldn't deal with the heartbreak of having to bond with someone, only to be let down when they had to leave. And so at the age of ten, I threw the biggest tantrum about not wanting another nanny.
She married Drew a year later. And only after a few years did I realize she must've married him out of necessity rather than love.
"Hey, Cady." Drew says, taking off his tie.
I notice how handsome he looks in a suit. I look away.
At thirty-four Drew still managed to look like he just stepped out of the front cover of a magazine. With his blue eyes, dark brown hair and a fit and slightly muscled body, he could've easily been a model.
Many of my female friends have commented about how hot my dad was and I always pretended the idea of finding him attractive disgusted me.
It didn't.
It
so
didn't.
I clear my throat. "Hi dad." I reply, trying not to sound like someone peed in my breakfast.
But Drew doesn't buy into my façade. He could always tell when I'm lying or pretending.
"What's wrong?" He asks, coming to sit beside me on the couch.
"I don't want to talk about it." I say, even though I knew he'd be able to cheer me up, I just wanted to sit and watch a movie with him in silence.
He nods at me and kisses my forehead, and then he props his legs up on the table, mimicking me.
Thirty minutes later, I feel Drew's gaze on me. He could tell I wasn't really paying attention.
He looks at the screen again and says, "If there was someone selling drugs in there, weed know."
A surprised laugh bubbles up my throat as I shove him playfully and say, "Not funny".
His eyes are filled with mirth when he picks up the remote control and waves it in my face, "Not even
remotely
funny?"
I laugh and stand up, grabbing the pillow I was leaning on and throwing it at his head. He dodges.
"Asshat" I say teasingly.
"No swearing, young lady." he answers with a smirk.
"Ass is not a swearword, it's a very vital organ in the human anatomy" I say, mock serious.
He catches on and says grimly, "Without it we wouldn't be able to sit or lounge."
"One wouldn't be able to take care of one's essential needs..."I say trying not to laugh.
He coughs, "Nicki Minaj wouldn't know what to write about" he says.
And we both burst out laughing.
When the laughter dies down I say, "let's go to my room, I want to show you something"
As we enter my room, Drew sits on my bed while I grab the letter from my desk and sit beside him, handing the letter to him.
"Is this...?" he trails off, his eyes widening.
"Yep. I got accepted to Julliard."
"That's amazing Cady, I am
so
proud of you" he says, he looks like he wants to embrace me, but he knows there's more. So he waits.
"I also got into The Royal Ballet School...in London."
Understanding dawns on him, even though he still looks like he's just won the lottery.
"Mom doesn't know anything about this yet, I got the letters this morning."
He's silent for a moment before he says, "Have you decided which one you're gonna choose?
"No." I reply, "I haven't decided yet. They're both amazing opportunities. Julliard is all mom has been aiming for ever since I started dancing. You know she's always pushed me towards that school as if there were no other choices. But I wasn't sure
I'd get in, so I applied for other schools."
"Why didn't you tell me?" He asks.
"Because I didn't want you to keep secrets from mom, I didn't want to get between the two of you when things are already messed up."
He sighs, smiling a little as he pats me on the cheek " You don't have to do that. No matter how good or bad my relationship with your mom is. I'll always want to know what's happening with you, and I'll always help you"
I nod, leaning into his touch as it lingers for a bit, and then he drops his hand.
"I'm not sure Julliard is what I want." I whisper, looking down.
"I've always wanted to live somewhere else, away from the drama with my mom and all the pressure she has on me. I've lived here my whole life, and it feels like this city has nothing new to offer. There's nothing that's really tying me to this place, except you..." I trail off, looking up at him.
"And you're no small thing I have to consider. In fact, you're the biggest factor in this decision. I'm not leaving you with her, I know how overbearing she can be, and together we could endure it because we had each other, but how will she be when I'm gone? She's gonna be furious with me for disobeying her, she'll probably blame all that on you. I
won't
let that happen!" I say with so much conviction that my voice breaks on the last word.
"And I..." I falter, knowing I would feel embarrassed about what I'm about to say to him later, "I need you" I say quietly.
His breath hitches in his throat.
"You
have
me." he says, his voice hoarse. I start tearing up, "You have me. No matter what you choose, I'll find a way to be near you. I'll find a way to be near you all the time,
god
Cadence, I'll be such a pain in your ass" I laugh through my tears and he grins.
"You don't have to worry about what your mom does or says to me. I'll gladly take it if it means you're going to be happy." he says.
I crawl into his lap, totally ignoring the fact that I'm not eleven anymore, and much taller than I used to be. I wrap my arms around his neck as he wraps his around my waist.
Minutes go by.
Everything is quiet except for our silent breaths.
"You don't need me," he whispers, " You never needed anyone. You've always been independent, ever since I met you. You never allowed me to help you climb down a tree when you got stuck. You didn't want me to intervene when that Marcus kid stole your cellphone. And when you're grades started dropping in ninth grade and I offered to help you study, you refused my help and said you're going to study your ass off and make me proud." I smile as I feel him chuckling.
"Hearing you say that made me feel like the luckiest man on earth, because I was already so proud."
I lean back a little, my arms still around his shoulders.
I look at him and he smiles down at me.
For a moment we just stare at each other.
I look at his mouth as his smile fades.
I look back up at his eyes.
Something bubbles up my stomach.
Something I shouldn't be feeling towards him, even though I have many times before.
Lust.
Suddenly, I want to kiss him.
I want to tangle my hands in his hair as I feel his tongue in my mouth.
