I woke up, my head spinning, the clothes that I had on from the night before tangled around my body, and my whole body ached. I sat up and groaned, holding my head in my hands. I could smell the alcohol on myself and it made me feel sicker. I got up, with great effort, just as there was a loud knocking on my door. I groaned again and snapped at the person who was behind it.
"What the hell do you want?"
Dad walked in, smiling, looking crisp and ready for the day. His brown hair brushed back, his deep brown eyes looking happy.
"Good morning sunshine!"
I groaned again and whined as I spoke, "Daddy, please don't talk so loud!"
His bright cheery face turned stern and unforgiving but he corrected it quickly.
"Why not? Aren't you feeling well?"
He had a look of mock concern on his face and I groaned again.
"No, I don't."
"Well, it's time to get up, take a shower, and get ready for the day."
I looked at him meanly, but did as I was told. When I came down into the kitchen I was glad to see that coffee was already made. Charles, the tenant that rented the rooms above the garage, was sitting at the table. He looked at me impishly as I walked in, wearing a pair of jogging pants and one of Daddy's tee shirts.
"You look like shit."
"You always look like shit, what's the big fuckin' deal."
"Hey! Jessica, you will not speak that way in my house!"
I turned, surprised to see Daddy coming into the kitchen.
"I'm sorry."
"As you should be."
"Shut up Charles, Daddy doesn't need your input."
My Daddy looked at me and shook his head, "what's up with you this morning?"
"She's hung over. I heard her pull in about four o'clock this morning. Theron you need to get control of her. She's going to wind up in a heap of trouble some day."
If looks could kill Charles would have dropped dead then, but unfortunately that wasn't the case. My Daddy looked at me, his stern almost frightening look coming back to his features.
"Is this true young lady? Did you not get home until this morning?"
"I'm grown Daddy, I'll do what I want."
"You're still under my roof child! You will abide by my rules!"
I wanted to go over to Charles and choke the shit out of him, but I poured a cup of coffee instead and had a conversation with myself in my head.
"I'm fucking 22 years old, nobody can tell me what to do."
"Daddy's right, you still live in his house."
"So, Daddy's never done anything bad to me. He could never bring himself to punish me, I'm his sweet little girl."
"Have you seen the way Daddy's been looking at you?"
That was something different. I'd never asked myself a question before in the third person. I put it off to the alcohol and answered my own question.
"Yeah, I have."
"It's like he's hungry."
"For what?"
"For you."
"No way! His my father."
"Momma left him over a year ago, and have you seen him with any body else?"
"He goes out."
"So, doesn't mean he isn't fucking someone."
"This conversation has gotten out of hand and completely off subject."
"Yeah, but still, pay attention more to him."
"Yeah, whatever."
I looked over at Daddy, and saw him looking at me. When he saw that I was staring at him he shifted his eyes, took a drink of coffee, and looked at his newspaper.
"Why are you wearing my shirt, Jess?"
"It's comfortable."
"It's far too big for you."
"That's what makes it comfy."
"You should dress in your own clothes."
I smiled and tested him, my other voice telling me to do so.
"I like the way it smells. It smells like you."
Charles whistled and I kicked him. Daddy just about dropped his coffee all over the floor. He righted himself and cleared his throat but said nothing. I got up, got another cup of coffee, and went over to Daddy. I kissed him on the cheek, holding my lips there for longer than I should have. I felt his skin get hot and pulled away.
"I'm sorry I've been such a bitch this morning Daddy. I'll be better, I promise."
Daddy looked up at me, his eyes darker than usual. He patted my hand and shifted in his chair.
"Good girl."
I giggled, stuck my tongue out at Charles, and pretended to go upstairs. But I hid myself in the laundry room off of the kitchen and listened to Daddy and Charles. I heard Charles first.
"What was that all about?"
"She's just trying to be a good girl."
"I'm not talking about her. I know how she is, I'm talking about you."
"What about me?"
"Theron, come on man! She even saw the way you acted. What's up with that?"
I could hear Daddy shifting in his chair again and he cleared his throat.
"I trust you Chuck."
"I know you do man. So tell me."
"I've been thinking."
"About what Theron?"
Charles' voice took on a serious tone that said, "Jesus I hope it's nothing bad."
"About her."
"About your daughter?"
"Yeah. You know about doing things to her."
"No, Theron, come on she's your kid!"
"Fuck! You don't think I don't know that! But fucking look at her! She looks just like her mother did when she was 22. She's fucking hot and the only goddamn pussy in this house!"
"But you're a good looking guy, T, you could have anybody!"
"It's not like it use to be. Women these days are bitches."
"We all know that, you have to work a little harder with them."
"I don't have time for that. Work and my daughter keep me too busy."
"But why does she keep you busy? She's got her own life."
"She just does okay."
"Look, Theron, get these thoughts out of your head! It ain't right. Plus you don't know how she is."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Look, I've seen her in action man. I watch over her for you when she goes out. I watch her at these dives she goes to. I see how she is."
"You're spying on my daughter?"
I wanted to walk back in then and smack Charles in the head. I didn't like him, ever since the day he moved in. I don't know why Dad wanted a tenant, he didn't need the money or anything. Charles thought he knew everything, and if Daddy wasn't there Charles would take on the role, and I hated that.
"I'm not spying, just making sure she stays safe. There's a lot about her you don't know. Look, I'll take you to the place she goes sometime and you can watch for yourself."
"I'm not agreeing to that."
Daddy looked over to where the laundry room was. I pressed back harder against the wall; he couldn't have known that I was there. I knew I was being absolutely silent. I couldn't see what they were doing, but they had stopped talking. I could hear some sounds, basically feet shuffling. Daddy got up from the table, loudly.
"Well, that's that. Charles, I can trust you?"
"Of course you can."
"Good. I'm going up to my study to do some work."
"Yeah, I'm going to have to be leaving here in a minute."
I peeked around the corner and saw that neither one of them was looking in my direction so I quietly walked upstairs. I went to my room, and turned the stereo up loudly. I had a lot to think about, and at that moment I didn't want to think at all. So, instead I sang and danced around my room to the Dresden Dolls cd that I owned. I was doing just that when the door opened and I saw Daddy walk in. One of my favorite songs had just begun to play and since he didn't turn down the radio I kept singing in a childish sing-song manner.
"Missed me, Missed me now you gotta kiss me. If you kiss me, mister, I might tell my sister..."
I sang and danced and turned back to look at Daddy, "And my mother, mister, she might tell my father and my father, mister, he won't be too happy and he'll have his lawyer come up from the city and arrest you mister. So, I wouldn't miss me if you get me, mister. See?"
Daddy nodded and smiled. I smiled back and kept on dancing.
"Missed me, missed me, now you gotta kiss me. If you kiss me, mister, you must think I'm pretty. If you think so, mister, you must want to fuck me...."
The radio was quickly turned down and Daddy gave me that stern look again. I pouted and sat on the bed.