Always in Love

Any suggestions with the presentation would be appreciated. This is my first work in writing. All people referenced are over the age of 18 when sexually acts are completed.

I was young when my parents divorced. I lived in Ohio, but I didn't know that, I only knew I lived with my three brothers two older and one younger, and my parents. I didn't know much about what was going on or that we would be moving. I thought my Daddy was taking my oldest brother and I on a trip to meet some people.

We went to a very beautiful place and I fell in love with everything. There were beautiful horses and as much land as my little eyes could see. There was a boy playing with a horse it was a really pretty brown horse and I was amazed at how when he put his hands on the back of what to me was a huge animal and he almost leapt over it. I'd had big dogs and my parents would let me ride on their backs like a horse so seeing these animals made me fall in love and I wanted to touch one but I didn't dare because they were so big and I was so little and scared.

I watched my Daddy on one and I was so jealous why couldn't it be me I thought. The boy must have noticed how much I longed to be close because he came up to me and asked me if I wanted to pet the horse. I couldn't even say anything I could only nod my head. He took me out to a field with a beautiful white horse and told me I could pet her. I walked right up to her and raised my hand bringing it down right on her rear left leg and could feel her tail swishing. She was so soft and I was so happy I didn't think it could get any better. I changed my mind when he asked me if I wanted to ride her! YES I want to. He picked me up and put me on her back climbing up behind me telling me don't worry I've got you as he wrapped his arms around me. I was in heaven. I thought I could stay here forever and be happy.

Unfortunately it wasn't to be the case. We moved to Oklahoma and lived in a little town where my Daddy had family. It was far from a happy childhood and I would think about the boy and the horses often to get through it.

I saw a picture of the boy one day in a frame with another little girl and boy when I went into my Grandma's room and asked her who they were. She told me their names and I knew that's My Jason. I didn't really care when she told me the kids were my cousins from out of state as I already had cousins in Oklahoma and they were not the nicest to me but then again they were older and didn't want a bratty little girl hanging around with them. Regardless I had too many cousins and didn't need any more. I knew what I knew and Jason was NOT MY COUSIN because I would have known that before.

I was only 5 when we moved to Oklahoma and you would think I'd forget that feeling from the mystery place Daddy took me over the years but I didn't. I looked for the boy in all of the boys I dated.

When I was in college I decided I was going to have sex. I'd already been active sexually with males and females. Giving some guys blow jobs and even letting some go down on me. But I'd never gone all the way. Honestly I was afraid because I had heard it hurt.

My first experience with intercourse didn't end so well. I was on top screaming for him to fuck me harder because no it didn't hurt and actually felt really amazing, when we heard his sister came in the house and holler his name. He threw me off him and ran to the bathroom while I got dressed under the bed. Didn't really matter because a couple of our friends were in the back yard and heard the whole thing. Needless to say I didn't have an orgasm and I knew because I'd had plenty of self induced and girl on girl orgasms to know having sex didn't give it to me. At least sex with a guy.

I eventually decided to move back to my Mom's in Ohio a few years later transferring schools, never having intercourse with a guy again because it wasn't that great if I didn't get off myself and I was better doing it myself and females were definitely something I loved.

I knew because when my friend sat on my face when we were goofing off drunk our freshman year of college, I stuck my tongue out and it made her jump what I didn't know was that I would like it the way I did. So I asked her if I could do it again without her pants on. She said yes but she didn't want to take her panties off. I was ok with that because I didn't think about girls like that and didn't know if I wanted to do that. Until she sat down and let me lick her through her panties. She said it felt good and that made me feel good. I grabbed her and started moving her like I was touching myself when her panties moved and my tongue went between her lips.

Oh my God I was so turned on because she was so wet and she tasted so good. I wanted to keep going but all of a sudden she stopped moving and pulled away from me. I didn't understand why until she told me I just made her cum and she'd never thought about girls before. I told her I knew what she was talking about because I'd never thought about doing anything like this before. I told her how good she tasted. She told me I could do what I just let her do but she didn't want me to keep my panties on. She laid down on her bed while I climbed on her face looking down at her face with her pitch black hair around her pillow made me want to rub faster. I grabbed her hair as I drove myself into her face. I ground and rubbed myself all over while she licked me up and down.

I didn't know it could feel like that. It was amazing and we enjoyed each other for a long time.

So when it came to pleasure I knew what I liked and I knew what I liked to give.

Mom said she had a call from my Dad's sister. She lived in Michigan on a farm and immediately I knew I had to go even if just for the summer because she had horses and every time I'd even pass a horse I'd remember what it felt like being in My Jason's arms and I wanted to feel that again.

When we got there my heart skipped a beat because right there was My Jason and all I wanted was to hug him and have him hold me like I remembered. I didn't even get the chance to tell him I remember him before everything came crashing down when in walks his daughter and wife with their baby boy on her hip.

I held it in and was introduced to everyone because I hadn't been there since I was a child years before. I got hugs and lots of pictures with everyone but Jason was my main focus. Everything he did and everywhere he went I wanted to be right there just like a shadow. I knew I loved this man and it didn't matter to me that he was years older than me or that he was married with children. I had to take the chance and take the consequences. Either he felt the same way I did or he pushed me away and the rest of my summer was ruined.

I took the chance and walked in behind him in the shop and pulled on his pants. He looked kinda surprised and almost like he was going to put an end to it so I grabbed his big cock out and stuck in in my waiting mouth. It felt amazing feeling it slide in and out and I was already so wet knowing for years this is the man I've thought about while touching myself and making myself cum. Here I was on my knees sucking him and feeling him grow I loved it.

He picked me up and placed me on a table with my ass on the edge and sunk his cock deep in my wet waiting hole. I was in heaven. It didn't take long but my orgasm was strong as I milked him of his own. Our trip to the shop didn't last nearly as long as I wanted but I experienced my first orgasm from a man and was very pleased with it.

We didn't get to spend much time together after that until one day I woke up and my Aunt was very mad. I took off out of the house heading to the barn because it was the only safe place I could think to get away. Jason followed me and told me not to worry about it that she would get over it. I was really embarrassed because she was mad at me because of my tampons. I was even more embarrassed when he started touching me and told me he wanted to taste me because I was on my period and had a tampon in. He told me he didn't care about that and to take it out. He threw it across the loft as he pulled me down on his face. I was so glad I wasn't bleeding heavy but was very turned on. It was the first time I'd ever done anything with anyone including myself when I was bleeding. I could feel myself getting ready to cum and it felt so right.

Again I was spending all my time with him and now I know how good it feels to be with him in every way I'd ever been with anyone up to that point. I'm in love and I think he feels it too. Unfortunately no I'm wrong because he tells me I'm being a Klingon and I back off. Even though I knew I loved this man I went and spent some time with some guys he had introduced me to trying to figure out if they could make me feel like he did. It was no use none of them made my body feel like he did. Even just a look from him and I was weak and not just in my knees.

I walked in on Jason's wife and one of the guys I had been with having sex and I was beyond pissed. Not because this guy was supposed to be fucking me and wasn't. No I was pissed that this little bitch can have the greatest guy for her husband even gave her children which crushed me because they weren't mine and here she is fucking around on him while he works and dude wasn't even that good.

Jason saw her and I talking later and thought I was telling her about us which I never would have done until he told me he told her. In my mind he told her so he must love me just like I love him. He's going to leave her and be with me. I asked Kris if she had told Jason about screwing Steve and she acted like she didn't know what I was talking about. Thinking Jason had already told her about us I opened my mouth and told her that's ok I fucked Jason. It was at that moment I realized she didn't know shit about it and I apologized for her finding out like that.

I went home shortly after that happened feeling like I was just a summer fling and very hurt because I wanted him but he didn't want me like I did him but I had many pictures and my memories of us being together even if for a little bit so I could live. For years that's all I had was the memory of him.

I eventually married and had children but his memory stayed with me. I didn't get to talk to or see him again for four years.

My Dad had asked me repeatedly over the years if I wanted to go to a family reunion and I politely declined saying it was too much with me having two kids. I decided one year I would go and as I'm chatting with my family talking to people I hadn't seen in years introducing them to my kids and husband, Jason walked around the corner and I knew I still loved him. He still looked just as perfect. I just wanted to be close to him, but as I was walking towards him Kris came around the corner and gave me a glare that was enough to stop me in my tracks. We were at a park out in the open with the entire family around did this woman really think I'd get down and dirty with her husband like that? I didn't get so much as a hi from him that day but we definitely shared a lot of looks and tried to get a way together. The closest we got to each other was playing with our children at the playground and I was more interested in making sure my daughter didn't fall.

I lost him again because even though we had shared our time together he was still with Kris and would never really be mine. We lost touch again for 12 years I had left my husband after 3 children and gotten with another guy. The closest to Jason I ever found. He was a man that was older than me. Although he loved me and I loved him he was not the one I dreamed about and yes we gave each other pleasure but it was nothing compared to when I was with Jason.

My Dad told me that his youngest sister and her husband were coming up from Oklahoma for a reunion and I knew I was going to that reunion. I knew I would have a good time catching up with family however I was on a mission. I didn't care who was there and who wasn't I had to confront Rocky he screwed up my whole life. I didn't know what healthy was because he made everything wrong feel right and I had to see this man face to face. Even if he'd never tell anyone what he did he was damn sure going to face me.

I did what I had to do in the moment and felt so much lighter. I turned around to enjoy the rest of my day and I see Jason walking up just as handsome as the first time I saw him and looked even better at 40. He's got a little white rat looking dog with him. I don't see Kris anywhere around so I head over ready to see what happens knowing I want his hands all over my body. I don't have my kids with me and I'm free to do as I please. I'd leave any person for this man anyway.

Some lady comes walking up to him and grabs his hand before I get there. My heart sinks when he introduced his girlfriend. I still just wanted only him. When he told her who I was I got a look like Kris gave me and I already knew I'm not getting a chance to even speak to him alone.

Jason managed to slip away and told me what I already suspected his girlfriend did infact know about what happened between us and was very clear we were NOT to be alone together. Even though I didn't get to hold him in my arms again besides a quick hug and kiss I enjoyed every second of it. Eventually we had to say goodbye again and I was heartbroken not knowing when and if I'd ever see him again.

Years passed and again he stayed in my head and in my heart. Still playing with myself until I was so sloppy wet thinking about his tongue on me, or pounding into any hole he chooses and other times I just thought about everything I'd let him do to me given the chance and I couldn't think of a thing I wouldn't let that man do to me. Sometimes it was just the thought of being in his arms.

5 years later I get a call. It's my Dad telling me my Aunt Deb is in town if I wanted to come see her I better do it. I hem hauled around because I had to work and it's in the opposite direction and I wasn't sure if I was going to make it but I would try.

I hear a voice in the background saying tell.

The whole sentence was tell her I'm here.

That's all it took. Work didn't matter, I didn't care if he had a girlfriend or I had a boyfriend. I had to go I had to see him again and have him in my arms. It felt like forever to get there. I rounded the corner going into my Dad's house and all I could see was Jason and I was in his arms and off the ground. He looked just as breathing taking at 46 as he did at 24. I forgot about everything and everyone. I had my Jason and my heart was full again.

I came back to reality and slowly released my grip from around his neck as he sat me down on the ground. I felt it as soon as I was no longer in his arms just a sense of what I had been missing and what I wanted and needed in my life. It was him.

As I became aware of the other people in the room I moved around to give my Aunt a hug. About that time my boyfriend was coming through the door. We'd been together for about 3 years but I didn't feel the same he did. I'd told him before he was the complete opposite of everything i ever looked for. Meaning he was absolutely nothing like Jason. We spent some time chatting and catching up before I left for work.

A week later I was going to spread my brother's ashes and the only person I wanted with me was Jason. I knew I was still deeply in love and even if he didn't feel the same way I could pretend. Jason did go with me and for the first time since that summer he kissed me. Really kissed me. I felt seen and heard and wanted. It didn't matter to me that my family was right there and could very easily see us. I was with him and it felt right.

He told me he's in love with me and my dreams came true we made love twice that day on his couch after he told me. First with me on top of him riding him nice and deep until we climaxed together. The second time was in a very delightful 69 where I felt him grow in my ever playful mouth. I enjoyed and wanted so much to join him in his room and make love the rest of the day but I had obligations I had to take care of and couldn't stay with him.

My heart was broken all over again but this time by my own doing. I knew I loved him and now I knew he loved me like I love him but I still couldn't have him he still wasn't mine.

He had a girlfriend who he couldn't even get a proper fucking from, a girlfriend who didn't even want to sleep in the same bed as him because of a fan. Pulling the blankets up and cuddling up in his arms would be my idea of heaven.

I didn't like her because she knew about us and she kept him away from me. But now we both know how much we love each other and you are still her Jason and I still have a boyfriend at home. He doesn't love me right not like Jason does.

Two weeks later Jason tells me he wants to be with me and he broke up with her. I've already said there was nobody else for me. I broke up with my boyfriend and moved to Michigan to be with Jason. I have never been happier than I am when I'm with him.

I love to give him what I call little surprises. Like the night he had made me so turned on and cum so much and hard I wanted to see if I could give him a treat. I found out when I was married I love anal but had a fear I wouldn't be able to get him in my ass. I was on my back and pulled his cock out rubbing it up and down myself and told him I wanted to try something. I couldn't get the head in because he's got a mushroom head and it's a lot bigger than what I used to take. It hurt and he tried to stop but I flipped over onto my belly and shoved my ass in the air like a dog in heat. I grabbed his dick and gently put all of him in there. I looked over my right shoulder at his face and the absolute blissful look he had. He was taking it rather slow and gentle so I jammed my ass against him hard and told him although he hits tender spots in my pussy he could ram my ass.

I grabbed his hand and placed it between my legs letting him feel how turned on I was. I love taking him in whichever hole he wants. I don't like to gag and I can barely ever deep throat him because he's big but I've even told him to fuck my face until he's hard. I've made this man bust his load five times in one day. I absolutely love and worship every inch of his body.

We used toys on each other and he doesn't mind my constant dirty thoughts. I love to tell him to fuck his cousin's little pussy and how much he makes me cum. Yes we are first cousins which is why in my mind he could never love me like I do him. Because it's crazy to think your cousin would ever want to be anything besides family. Right. I mean even in my family which would have kept Jerry or Maury on the air for a lifetime. A cousin who's really a sister because Dad had sex with his wife's sister, a brother who's got a child with a different cousin but same kin. Yeah I could keep going but those are different stories.

But boy I was wrong because Jason loves me even more. We've discussed things about kink play I never thought would turn me on and now with this man I'm game for pretty much anything. I can't get enough of him and now that we live together and he's really mine I can show him for the rest of our lives just want he means to me. I love seeing that sexy smile on his face when I say or do something unexpected.

I mean I don't know many 40 year old women who would leave everything for her cousin and the hell with what everyone else says and thinks because they aren't in my life. I'll cut anyone out because I know what I have and I won't live without it again.