Author's note: Thanks again to my dear friend for helping me out with this one!
*****
I was lying awake next to my snoring husband of twenty-four years. The first four years were great, but for the last twenty, he'd shown little or no interest in me sexually. I couldn't remember the last time we'd made love, and it was driving me nuts to the point I couldn't drift off to sleep.
Of course, I was still able to get myself off. I'd resorted to manual stimulation more times than I cared to remember. I didn't feel guilty or apologize for it though. I still had a very high sex drive. I just had no outlet to deal with it.
Over the years, I thought Dan, my husband, might have been unfaithful, but deep down I knew that wasn't the case. He'd just lost interest in me, or sex, or both. I had to admit that it made me angry. I was forty-eight years old, but I was still in pretty good shape. I took care of myself and still looked good naked. I was carrying a bit of extra weight on my backside, but it wasn't excessive.
So I lay there and fumed about my situation until I eventually drifted off to sleep.
When I woke the next morning, I heard Dan in the shower in our master bathroom. A night's sleep had done nothing to cure my foul mood, so I decided to take the edge off.
I pulled up my nightshirt underneath the covers and began to slowly rub my pussy. I closed my eyes and imagined it was Dan stimulating me like he used to all those years ago.
Unfortunately, I didn't get myself off. I still had a sense of deep frustration, and that kept me from enjoying myself. Finally, I got out of bed, pulled on my robe and headed to the kitchen to make some coffee.
Dan joined me in the kitchen a few minutes later, dressed and ready to head for work. We barely exchanged words before he headed out the door. A short time later, the blur that was my teenage daughter was also out the door and on her way to school.
I sat at the kitchen table, frustrated and lonely. Part of me wondered if I should come out of retirement, just so I wouldn't have these hours alone. A wealthy relative had passed away seven years ago, and they not only left me a tidy inheritance, but also a trust for my daughter, and a charitable foundation trust as well. In the will, I was made trustee for both trusts.
It was up to me to manage the trust for my daughter until she turned twenty-one. I was also responsible for overseeing the assets and disbursements of the charitable trust. But those only required my attention four or five times a month. As a result, I had a lot of time on my hands, and it was beginning to get to me.
After showering and failing again to get myself off, I got dressed and tended to a few things that needed my attention. Eventually I made myself something to snack on and sat down at the kitchen table with my laptop.
A few months earlier, the same type of morose mood was hanging over me, and not knowing where or to whom to reach out to, I did what most people do these days: Check the internet. Once before, I had done a search on 'frustrated wives', but good lord, the websites that popped up were not what I was expecting. I was shocked and disappointed that it wasn't the type of 'help' I was looking for. I did watch a few of the videos the search directed me to. Back then, I was still able to get myself off pretty well, so I didn't feel the need for the type of 'help' they were offering.
I was more resolute this time though. Just because the initial hits were all porn related, didn't mean everything would be. Plus, if I didn't find something tangible, at least I could watch some videos and maybe get myself off.
As I was munching on a celery stick, I scrolled down through the search results. The first page was all porn related, so I went on to the next page. I was on the third page when I finally found something that caught my interest. The link itself didn't lead to much, but it gave me an idea. I refined my search to include the words 'chat' and 'forums'.
That search proved more fruitful, and the next thing I knew, I was registering for free account on one site so that I could enter their chat rooms.
I wasn't really sure what I was getting myself into, so I didn't bother filling out most of my profile information, only my age, gender and marital status. Still, I was set, and I made my way to the chat room section of the site. I rolled my eyes when I saw that most of the chat rooms were purely sexually oriented, particularly one called 'Fuck My Horny Wife'. I did think about clicking on that one, but as frustrated as I was, I wasn't there . . . YET.
There was another room named 'Married Women Who Want to be Used'. Again. Not there . . . YET.
Finally I found one called 'Bored Housewives'. I clicked on that chat room and entered it. I was unsure of what the etiquette was in one of these places since I'd never been in a chat room before. I replied courteously to the few people who welcomed me to the room.
After getting a litany of what I discovered were PM's that I politely fended off, I found myself in a one-on-one conversation with a woman who said her name was Barbara. She came off as a very warm person, and didn't press for too much information. She seemed to be letting me feel my way into the conversation, and I liked that.
She volunteered that she'd been on this chat board for five years, initially because she was a bored wife. Now she just came back to chat with friends and others she'd gotten to know over that time. She also volunteered that, with the help of some of her chat-friends, she no longer considered herself to be 'bored'.
Barbara told me how she and her husband were in the same situation Dan and I found ourselves in. But, with some help, some advice, and some prodding, she had taken the bull by the horns and confronted the situation. Now she and her husband were as frisky with each other as teenagers on a first date.
I was amazed at how Barbara had been able to turn things around. I asked her exactly what she did to get her husband more interested. Barbara admitted that it wasn't easy. Initially, her husband didn't want to talk about it. That was something I could relate to, and I opened up to Barbara about that. A few years earlier, I had tried to have a heart-to-heart with Dan about our situation, but he'd just turned to stone on me.
Barbara said that's a usual response, because the male in the relationship is usually hiding something they think their wives would be aghast to find out. So they don't talk about it.
I asked Barbara what her secret was, and she told me that she'd gotten into her husband's computer and found out what his 'secret' was. After that, Barbara knew how to push his buttons. She was only too happy to do it in order to get some spice back into their lives.
I didn't pressure Barbara to divulge exactly what it was that she learned, although I felt she would have told me if I'd asked.
However, Barbara did ask me if my husband had a private computer. I told her he did have his own laptop in his den, but that it was password protected.
Barbara asked me if I knew any computer geeks who could help me gain access to it, so I could find out what Dan was up to online. Regrettably, I knew no such person.
Next, Barbara typed out: "You don't have to answer this if you think I'm being too forward, and I'll understand if you tell me to f-off, but when was the last time you and your husband made love?"
I sighed and felt my eyes well up a bit as I slowly typed back: "Two years".
Barbara's reaction was one of amazement. She told me I needed to find a way to gain access to my husband's laptop, otherwise we may never get the magic back.
I thanked Barbara for chatting with me and for being so open with her suggestions. I ended the conversation by telling her that I would look into trying to find someone who could help me gain access to Dan's laptop.
As I closed my laptop and stood up, I was surprised to see it was well after noon. I made my way to the kitchen and decided to pour myself a glass of wine. As I stood there sipping on it, I knew what Barbara said was true. I had tried to talk to Dan, and gotten nowhere. If I was going to get to the bottom of what was going on in his head, I needed access to his laptop.
The problem was, I didn't know anyone who had that kind of expertise. As I stood there, frustrated, albeit for another reason now, I happened to glance at the calendar hanging on the wall next to the fridge.
I took note of a scribbling on today's date: 'S-4:30'. The 'S' was for Stephen. That was the name of the kid Dan had hired to help tutor our daughter in math. He'd be over today at 4:30 to help Kelsey prepare for her final exams.
I knew the kid well enough to say hello. But I also knew something else. He wasn't just a math whiz and a pretty good tutor - he struck me as being a total geek. I smiled as I took another sip of my wine.
I went back to my laptop and popped it open again to do another search. I had a smile on my face the whole time as I searched through images and videos. At one point, my hand even went down my pants, and I finally managed to get myself off.
