A Pledge of Purity

A PLEDGE OF PURITY CH. 01

For compliance purposes, all sexually active characters are over the age of eighteen. Any underage activities are literary insinuations or take place only in the reader's imagination.

This story does contain some religious elements so be forewarned if you are offended by that sort of thing.

When my daughter was eight I discovered that my wife was having an affair with one of her college tutoring clients. I also discovered that she was a lesbian. I was angry that she had cheated on me, and to be frank, kind of insulted she had cheated on me with another woman. As it turned out, this had not been a one time fling. She had been having a several months affair with the student. Because of the situation and social attitudes back then, it was not that hard for me to get full custody of Alice, our daughter.

I'm Ray and I've been a single father for the past 10 years. As the years have gone by I have more or less forgiven my ex-wife. I just wish she could have talked to me like an adult when she came to terms with her sexuality instead of sneaking around and traumatizing our daughter. While I have forgiven her, my daughter never has.

My daughter had a bit of an overreaction upon learning about her mother's lesbianism and her adultery at the same time. She learned that lesbianism was viewed by some faiths as an "unnatural life choice". To my shame, for the first couple of years I encouraged this viewpoint since it made Alice hate her mother as much as I did at the time.

Alice became very religious. Although I wasn't particularly religious, I made an effort to support her decision. I let her go to a parochial grade school and an all-girls parochial high school. I attended mass with her once a week and the major holidays. I even attended a purity ball with her. This was an informal event put on by twenty or so Catholic, Lutheran, and Episcopalian families which were not part of the Evangelical Purity movement. Instead of signing pledges, they filmed us saying our pledges. The idea was that videos would have more of an impact on the girls since they could review themselves making the vows instead of just occasionally looking at a standardized certificate.

I thought that the all-girls school and to a certain extent the purity ball were a good thing if it discouraged Allie from being pressured into sex too early. However, unlike many of the parents at the ball, I wasn't that concerned about her having premarital sex when she came to the age of consent so long as she showed good judgment. I tried to set a good example and so rarely dated. Plus dating was hard enough when you are a single parent, it was even harder when your daughter innocently sabotaged your love life by asking dates their favorite scripture passages, suggesting instead of going out we could have a bible study and things of that nature.

Once we attended the purity ball however Allie changed quite a bit. She had always been a happy-go-lucky and affectionate child. But after that Purity Ball, she became very straitlaced and consumed by her studies and faith. Even after she turned sixteen and was allowed to date she didn't.

I wanted her to live a full life but also wanted to respect her choices. So I asked if she planned on becoming a nun. She wanted to become a wife and mother. She was well into her seventeenth year when I had to actively encourage her to start dating. Her lack of dating was entirely her own doing. Everywhere she went, which to be truthful was not very many places, she turned heads.

At 18 Allie is a very beautiful young woman with long, shimmering black hair that hangs to the middle of her back, high cheekbones, piercing blue eyes, a small but sharp nose, wide lips, and a small chin. She is just over five feet tall with an athletic build except for her breasts which are 34ddd. I told her that she would never meet the right guy if she didn't date anyone. So for the next year, she would date a few times a month. Usually, though she only went out with a guy once or twice before deciding he wasn't the one.

What I found most troubling was that almost right after her purity ball, she became estranged from me. She used to show me regular displays of daughterly affection; hugs, kisses on the cheek, and would curl up on the couch with me. But she stopped doing it on her own and when I tried to hug her or kiss her she became rigid like she could not stand to touch me. It was very hurtful. Especially when I asked her if she was angry or if something was bothering her and she always said no. When I would tell her I loved her, she would give me a smile that was almost a grimace and reply, "I love you too, daddy."

Our encounters were usually confined to quick greetings in the mornings as she rushed off to school and suppers. Allie dutifully prepared the evening meals, although her culinary skills were rather basic. We ate together but our conversations were minimalist. I'd ask her questions and receive short replies. Once she started pulling away from me I tried to get her to watch movies with me or play board games. However, she had all the enthusiasm of someone about to be tortured. Eventually, I stopped asking. We lived in the same house but acted more like distant roommates than father and daughter.

We only saw each other at mealtimes and sometimes not even then because Allie had a fairly lucrative babysitting business. She was in great demand because her clients knew she wouldn't bring a boy around and because she was great with kids. She liked it because she could get paid for doing her homework.

At first, I thought Allie was just doing adolescent distancing but it continued even past her 18

th

birthday. She told me that she wanted to go to either Cottey College or Stephen College which were still primarily all female. It suddenly dawned on me that Allie might be gay, even if she would not, or could not, admit it to herself.

I resolved to find a way to broach the subject with her in such a way that would not totally destroy my relationship with her. However, I kept putting it off not wanting to set off what might be a powder keg. I knew I had to do it before she left for college.

As a pretext, I planned to take her to dinner to celebrate her grades on her third-quarter progress report. At dinner, I planned to get her a little tipsy. Once she was relaxed I'd broach the subject of her possible lesbianism. Before I could put my plan into action something happened that put my gay theory to a serious test.

I work at an advertising firm's in-house printing facility. Earlier in the year, we got a new Assistant Creative Director, some kid just out of college. Due to his inexperience, we had to redo several print jobs. To make deadlines my crew had to put in a lot of overtime. After the project was completed however this new kid refused to pay for the overtime out of his budget so our Printing Director had to pay us with comp time instead. So for the next week, I was going to work half a day but get paid for a full day.

On the second day of my comp time, as I was taking a shower after work, I started thinking of this sexy new intern who worked with the asshole kid. She was a big busted blond in her early twenties who liked to wear short skirts. I imagined she was in the shower with me, giving me a sweet long blowjob. As I fantasized cumming down her throat, I heard a small gasp. I opened my eyes and saw Allie in the bathroom staring at me as I ejaculated into the drain.

At that moment she was still dressed in her school uniform which consisted of a starched white blouse, blue and green plaid skirt, knee-high white socks, and black and white saddle shoes. She stared at me like a deer caught in car headlights. When our eyes met she flushed red and ran from the bathroom. Because of our lack of communication, I hadn't known that Allie had a half-day due to tests.

I finished my shower and threw on a robe so that I could apologize to her. According to her beliefs, masturbation was a grave sin. As I approached her door I heard her crying. I opened it silently so I wouldn't startle her. What I saw shocked me to my core. Allie lay on her bed, still clothed in her school uniform. However, her white cotton panties were bunched around her right black and white saddle shoe, and her skirt was flipped up over her stomach. One of her hands was driving two fingers into her dark thatched muff and the other was grasping her impressive bust through her blouse and bra. Even when she was lying down her starched blouse complimented the curves of her mounds.

Allie wasn't crying, she was moaning. What she moaned floored me. It was, "Oh yesss! Love me, love me Daaaddy! I neeed you, Daaaddy! Love me, Love me...." I silently closed her door before she saw me because I knew she would have been mortified to be found like that. However, I couldn't pull myself away. It wasn't that the site of my masturbating daughter was exceedingly erotic but that it was puzzling. If she disliked me so much why was she masturbating to my name? I thought perhaps it was just the shock of seeing my hard ejaculating cock that caused this reaction.

After a few more minutes she let loose with a drawn out "Daaaaaaddddyyy!" Surprisingly after this, I heard her sobbing loudly for a few minutes. As she was sobbing she got down off the bed. I believe she must have knelt down because I heard her praying. "Dear Lord Baby Jesus, please forgive me for touching myself while thinking of Daddy! I know it's a sin. I know it's wrong but I just love him so much! I can't help it. I've tried. I know you're tempting me by making Daddy so sweet and handsome. I try to resist. I'm gonna try some more. I wish I could promise not to do it again... but I will. I'm so weak! So please give me strength and forgive me, Baby Jesus!"

I dressed and went downstairs to get a drink. This whole incident had unsettled me. That night Allie was her usual stand-offish self and of course, neither one of us spoke of the shower mishap. I was more perplexed than ever.

The next day when I got home from work I hid a nanny cam in her room. I had used it a few years back when I had sitters for her. It recorded audio and video for six hours and could also be remotely operated from a laptop. I wasn't doing it for the cheap thrill of watching Allie dress or masturbating. I was curious to see if her masturbating, crying, and praying was a recurring pattern. If so it might explain her behavior towards me.

Over the next few days, I was fortunate enough to be home when Allie arrived home from school. She usually gave me a perfunctory greeting, grabbed a snack, and drank a glass or two of iced tea. Allie would then go to her room and get on her laptop. Since she had books and papers out I believed she was doing her homework. Then at night after supper, she went to her room, got dressed in her pjs, and opened her laptop. She usually spent quite a bit of time on it. After which she would open her pjs or just push down her pj bottoms, frantically masturbate for a few moments until she came, then she would cry and pray.

I needed to see what was on her laptop. What did she look at before masturbating? Although it was an invasion of her privacy, it broke my heart to see my little girl in such torment. I knew that she'd shut me out if I tried to ask her about it so I needed as much information as I could before forcing a discussion with her.

A few nights after I put the nanny cam in her room, Allie was going out on one of her infrequent dates. Since she wouldn't be using her laptop, I thought it would be a good time to look at it. Although I could have just sneaked and snooped I decided on another tactic just to see her reaction.

As usual before her dates, she got ready very early and then sat on the sofa stiff and dour as a woman heading towards her execution. Allie was still quite striking even without any cosmetics and wearing loose clothing that de-accentuated her curves. I sat next to her and she stiffened even more.

"Allie, honey. I left my notebook at work and really need to send some emails tonight. Could I use your laptop?"

I fully expected her to refuse but I wanted to gauge her reaction to my request. To my great surprise, a fleeting smile flashed across her face as she said, "Sure, Daddy. I'll go get it for you."

As she went upstairs I wondered if perhaps she had discovered my nanny cam and erased whatever it was she had on her laptop or if perversely she wanted to be found out. Once she had the laptop, she laid it on the sofa next to me and unlocked it for me.

Ah, I thought perhaps she was going to watch me and make certain all I used was the email. However, a honk sounded as her date arrived. She gave me a sour smile but didn't try to take away or shut off the laptop. She threw on a coat and then walked out the door.

In the video recordings, she hadn't put in a flash drive or anything before masturbating. I searched through her files, directories, and browser but didn't find anything overtly pornographic. Nor did I find any pictures of me or any other men or women that she could be using as stroke material. I found nothing on her hard drive so checked her email account. I had almost exhausted places to look when I noticed that she had a directory named ddy in a folder in her inbox. The folder ddy was password locked. I tried my birthday and to my surprise, it opened up. In the directory was a cloud drive shortcut. This drive had a folder that I copied to a flash drive. I logged into my email account and then sent a couple of fake emails just in case Allie checked. I shut off her laptop and left it on the sofa.

I'd actually left my laptop in my car so I sat in my car and looked at the flashdrive. It was filed with copied webpages and word documents. All of these were erotica; specifically, they were daddy-daughter incest stories. I read through these over the next few days. They fell into two main themes. The first theme was about virginal daughters seducing their clueless old men. The other theme had fathers firmly, in some cases forcibly; seduce their naïve, and most often, virginal daughters. I guessed that Allie didn't consider the stories pornographic since they weren't visual representations of sex.

I thought what I'd learned might help explain Allie's behavior for the past few years. I was very happy to learn that Allie still loved me and that she didn't hate or dislike me as I'd thought. It was also a bit off-putting to realize that she also deeply desired me sexually. I surmised that it was because I made her aroused she had avoided spending time with me. She was very troubled by her desires, which is why she was so very unhappy.

I resolved to go ahead with my plan to get her slightly tipsy and discuss the topic with her. I was going to propose therapy but secular therapy. I wasn't certain that a Catholic therapist would alleviate her anguish about her incestuous feelings. If anything they might make her feel worse by blaming her for such thoughts.

One thing kept nagging at the back of my mind, however. That damn purity ball! Allie's personality had changed almost immediately after we'd attended it. I honestly didn't remember much about it. I had pretty much felt like a fish out of water at the event. I hadn't known, socialized with any of the other parents before or after it. I remember Allie and I dancing a little bit, doing my pledge, and then Allie doing her little pledge. Then I gave her a purity ring. I remember that part of the ball had made me feel a bit weird. I knew the reasoning behind the ring but it still felt strange. After all the pledges were done Allie and I had a few more little huggy dances together before the ball ended.

So one night while Allie was upstairs doing her homework, I put in the DVD of her purity ball and fast-forwarded it to our dances. She looked so cute in her pink gown and was quite happy and affectionate especially when we were dancing.

Then I watched our pledges. I was nervous as hell about being filmed and uncomfortable in my rented tux. This is why I probably didn't notice then what happened when Allie gave her pledge In fact, I didn't notice at first when I re-watched it. When she gave her pledge there were a lot of nervous titters. I watched it again but didn't understand the reason for the laughter. So I rewound it and watched some of the other pledges. After re-watching her pledge and some others about four times, it finally dawned on me what had happened.

In her pledge, Allie had misspoken one word. One singular misspoken word had changed everything. It not only changed the context of her pledge but had also somehow changed the relationship between us. At first, I could not believe that just one little mistake would have such a profound effect. However, after viewing the DVD and realizing the implications of that word, I too was changed. The change was subtle, so subtle that I did not realize it at first.

I wasn't certain how I could use this information I had just learned to help Allie with her issues but it solidified my determination to help her. Unfortunately, I also knew that when it came to confronting her I was pretty much of a pushover. To steel my resolve I re-watched the videos I had taken of her masturbating, crying, and praying. It truly broke my heart to see my sweet daughter in such agonizing torment. I knew that I would do whatever I had to relieve her of this sorrow and pain.

The first time I re-watched one of these videos, the error she'd made in her purity pledge was fresh in my mind. So her misspoken word echoed in my mind as the video showed Allie shutting off her laptop and put it on her nightstand.

Allie lay on her bed, her face twisted into a grimace straddling both lust and revulsion. She slowly unbuttoned her fuzzy pink onesie. Her full, round breasts spilled out as she unbuttoned, their light pink tips were swollen with want. Her tight, flat abdomen and cute dimple of a navel were revealed.

For the first time along with the sympathy I felt for her, I also felt the stirrings of desire. This desire grew as her groin and the dark furry thatch below came into view. Allie closed her eyes tightly as two of her fingers slowly, almost reluctantly drifted through the swathe of pubic hair and came to rest at the juncture of her thighs. Her pajamas only opened up to the start of her bush so I could not actually see the insertion of her fingers. The actual act of masturbation was also hidden underneath her pajamas.

As her hand worked beneath her pajamas her other hand squeezed and kneaded her breasts. As she clutched her breasts her fingers also teased her swollen nipples. Allie kept her eyes squeezed shut all through this. In a few seconds, she began to moan. She softly whispered, "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy... Oh, Daaddyyy....love me, daddy. Love your sweet Allie! I love you, daddy. Ooooh, Daadddy. Yesssss. Daaddy."

Not only did the anguish of her masturbation and its self-loathing aftermath affect me as it usually did, but for the first time, her words and the intense desire behind them affected me as well. This was without a doubt influenced by her purity pledge. That one word had sexualized my relationship with my daughter. By the time Allie had finished her masturbation session, I was hard as a rock and had to take a cold shower.

In the two weeks leading up to my planned dinner with Allie, I reviewed these videos almost every night. This was, I told myself, to keep up my determination to help her. Yet I also knew that I enjoyed watching her pleasuring herself while calling my name. And to my shame, I only took cold showers the first couple of times, after that. Well, Allie wasn't the only one to masturbate and then feel remorse.

During the days that followed, I often found myself gazing at Allie as she followed her morning routine not simply as a father but as a man looking at a beautiful and desirable woman. Several times she caught me gazing at her in such a fashion and a flush came to her porcelain cheeks.