My son and I have always been close.
Ever since his father left us when he was young, it's been just the two of us living the most enjoyable fun lives we can.
Now at nineteen, he's grown to be more handsome, intelligent, and kind than this young forty-year-old mom could have ever imagined. I'm really proud to be his best friend and glad he chose to stay at home while going to a local community college.
Oftentimes as of late, we've played a harmless little game of trickery. We will regularly find ways to hide and scare each other. Maybe a little tacky, but it's quickly become our "thing". Our form of recreational hobby.
Maybe it's simply one of us waiting for the other to come around the corner in the house and give one of those classic "rawrs!" that induces a flashed micro-panic with the heart briefly stopping, only to send a smile crawling across the face seconds later.
Or maybe it's one of us luring the other into a room by creating a creepy curious sound after a late-night horror movie session and flashing on the light to reveal our poor attempts at a sinister face... something we both always seem to easily fall for.
Just last week, the clever little sneak hid in the backseat of my car in the driveway and waited until I got in to spring up with a scare by grabbing my shoulders as I screamed. He rolled in the backseat, kicking his legs with an uncontrollable laugh. Part of me wanted to beat the hell out of him, but another part held that impulse in check with a sense of defeated appreciation.
Almost like we were keeping some imaginary score between us; always even yet always trying to one-up it.
I thought of my latest "one-up". It was a day I got home extra early in the afternoon from work before he was home from classes. My car was parked in the closed garage; he would always know I had arrived by hearing the groaning machinery of the automatic door opening and closing, but since he never entered through there to get into the house upon coming home, there was no need to check for it. He would have simply assumed I wasn't there yet if he didn't see or hear me anywhere in the quiet house.
I figured I would hide in his closet. It's a two-door pull-open wooden shutter style, with the horizontal strips adjustable for tilting to whatever angle you want. Perfect at the right setting for me to see through, and just enough for him to not see in.
I figured he would open it after coming in his room to change his shirt or something, and I'd make my move of easily jumping out at him.
Not that I wanted him to get the impression I was snooping around his room; I've always respected his privacy and have received the same gesture back. But this was too good. He would never expect it. Payback for the car.
I never heard him call out my name. Why would he if he suspected I wasn't home yet? I heard him shuffling around downstairs and he eventually came up into the room.
It was go time. I was immediately excited. Any moment he would come over, and I would be ready at a moment's notice to get my revenge.
He set his books on his desk and emptied his pockets of his wallet, keys, and some spare change, kicking off his shoes.
Any second now.
He pulled his shirt off, revealing his bare chest. I was going to get him good. At first, it seemed like he took a step toward the closet, but then he turned and grabbed his belt buckle, starting to undo his pants.
Oh, damn.
I hadn't thought of him changing completely since he usually only seems to change into a new shirt. But the pants dropped and lifted one leg at a time to pull them off. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. Never mind my own embarrassment at a failed scare attempt, but I quickly realized how embarrassed he would be to catch me hiding in his closet when he was down to his boxer briefs.
I convinced myself he would be understanding when I explained my plan didn't go as expected, but still. Maybe it was now or never. It's not like he was naked. The equivalency of a bathing suit. I should just jump out right now and get it over with.
As I went to place the palms of my hands against the shutter doors, that's when he thumbed the edges of his boxer briefs and yanked them down to his ankles. Shit. Shit-shit-shit. The embarrassment meter was going to be high on both sides for this one, that much was clear.
I almost started panicking. If he pulled open the closet doors, I should just cover my eyes and come clean with the failed plan.
I tried not to look, but I had to out of the corner of my eye to see where he was going. I mean, there he was, my son, completely bare-butt naked and walking across the room. I could make out his penis slightly swinging as he trotted across the carpet. Bigger than the last time I had inadvertently seen it, which was probably seven or eight years ago.
He grabbed a towel from his dresser. A sigh of relief flowed through me. He was going to go shower, which meant leaving the room. Which also meant a golden opportunity to make my easy escape when it was safe. Free and clear, like I had never even been there.
No one would ever know, except me. I laughed inside my head at how ridiculously vain my effort became, and I could soon forget about it.
Only he didn't leave the room. He turned and headed for the bed instead, laying the towel out on it and standing there with his naked backside to me as he adjusted it, patting it here, bunching it there, ironing it out there.
What the hell was he doing? Just get out already! He fluffed his pillow at the head of the towel and crawled onto the bed, clearing his throat and positioning himself over the towel, reaching to his lower regions with some kind of tugging effort but gently lowering his body on top of it.
Oh. My. God.
He was going to masturbate.