Zombies Versus Muslims

The name is Mohammed Youssef. I'm a big and tall young Black man living in the town of Mogadishu in the Nation of Somalia. I'm here to tell you the truth about the War Against the Undead. The War against the Zombies. In the movies and poorly written novels, whenever the Zombies rise, they're always attacking someplace fancy like North America or Europe. In reality, Zombies tend to pop up in the corners of the world where nobody is looking for them. Like my homeland of Somalia. Does that surprise you? It shouldn't. Mother Africa has endured all kinds of hell since the White Man started playing Invader and Conqueror. Africa survived the onslaught of racism and imperialism. And now, it faces the Zombie Apocalypse. Just another day in the land of the sun, ladies and gentlemen.

First things first, though. A little about me, the Hero of this story. I was born in the City of Toronto, in the Ontario region of Canada. That makes me a Canadian Citizen though I consider myself purely Somali. I was raised in the Islamic faith but these days, I mainly consider myself Agnostic. You see, I'm bisexual and Islam disagrees with that. I didn't choose to be this way. I swear. I find both women and men attractive. Growing up in the liberal City of Toronto, I embraced my true self and my parents, Ahmed and Fatima Youssef, disowned me for it. Whatever. I live my life my way. Besides, I was too liberal for the conservative Muslim community of Somalia anyway. I happen to believe that women shouldn't have to wear the damn burka or the hijab if they don't feel like it. Also, there's nothing wrong with drinking, partying and having a good time regardless of your gender, race or religion. Yeah, a lot of my views were at odds with the Islamic community so they made me an outcast. Whatever.

After getting thrown out of my folks house in Ajax, I moved to York. I had an academic scholarship to York University so I got busy studying Criminology. Before the Zombie Apocalypse, I wanted to become a police officer. I was attending York University when I met this cute guy named Raphael Etienne. A big and tall, sexy Black guy from the City of Cap-Haitien in the Republic of Haiti. The guy was sexy as hell, built like a college football player. And he was bisexual like me. Raphael was a fourth-year student in the Business Management program at York University. He was dating a chubby Chinese chick named Nicole Chang at the time we met but he and I shared a special connection. That's why we became fast friends and later, fuck buddies. I had a lot of fun with Raphael whenever he and I had some free time. He would come to my dormitory and we would fuck like rabbits, man. I loved riding Raphael. The big Haitian guy had a nine-inch, uncircumcised dick and he loved shoving it deep into my ass. Being from a Muslim background I'm not used to seeing uncircumcised dicks but I've grown to love them since meeting Raphael. I think uncut guys are the best!

Raphael and I had our fun throughout my first year as an undergraduate student at York University in Ontario. However, the second year he left. He had gotten his girlfriend Nicole pregnant and her parents insisted that he marry her. They got hitched during the summer. My sexy Haitian boyfriend was now a married man with a full-time job as a restaurant manager. I missed him, but life goes on, eh? I met this fine-looking chick named Natasha Bronson, and we just clicked, man. Natasha was fine as hell. Five feet eleven inches tall, slender and athletic, with long blonde hair, alabaster skin and pale blue eyes. A native of Metropolitan Calgary in the region of Alberta, Natasha came to York University on a scholarship like me. She was taking up Criminal Law, and also played for the women's rugby team. And she liked Black guys. Did I luck out or what?

Natasha and I had our fun during my second year at York University. It was a time of change for me. I finally admitted to myself that I had become an Apostate. I walked away from the Islamic faith. I could never reconcile being a Muslim with my bisexuality. The funny thing is that the Arabs, the so-called progenitors of the Muslim faith, live in a mostly gender-segregated society until they come to the age of marriage. That means that Arab guys and Arab women spend a lot of time with their own sex because of an irrational fear of the opposite sex and impropriety. What is the end result of that? A lot of Arab men are gay or bisexual, folks. They fuck other men because there are no women to fuck until they get marriage. And a lot of conservative-looking women you see wearing the burka or the hijab in Muslim societies actually fuck other women because there are no men around to fuck. Situational bisexuality is a reality in the Islamic world. Men fuck men. Women fuck women. Very little heterosexual sexual contact goes on outside the marriage bed. That's a dirty little secret of my old faith, ladies and gentlemen.

Natasha and I had a good rapport. When I revealed my bisexuality to her, she was okay with it. I also assured her that I was Agnostic, so I wasn't one of those Muslim guys who pressure their Western girlfriends to convert to Islam. Hell, Christianity is starting to look better and better to me. Catholics of both sexes can drink, sleep around, party hard, support same-sex marriage and still consider themselves God-fearing people. I love the sound of that! Maybe when I'm through with my Agnostic phase I'll try Catholicism. Natasha is a Catholic and she speaks highly of it. We connect in so many ways, both sexual and intellectual. She introduced me to a world of pleasure, folks. I love having sex with women. I love licking Natasha's sweet pussy before sliding my cock deep into her snatch. I love spanking her nicely rounded ass while thrusting my member deep inside of her. I enjoy pulling her hair and making her scream while fucking her. However, sometimes I miss sex with men. With guys, I'm a bottom. I miss the feel of a cock in my ass. Well, Natasha helped me make up for that. She bought a strap-on dildo and fucked me with it. Is this chick awesome or what? I don't miss Raphael's dick anymore. I've got Natasha's strap-on dildo!

I loved Natasha, seriously. We connected like I've never connected with anyone before. It's a shame that I haven't seen her since she went to Calgary for December 2012 vacation. She left me in York all by my lonesome. I wanted to go with her but she assured me that her redneck relatives in Alberta wouldn't like seeing us together. And Calgary people aren't like Toronto folks. They're gun-toting racists, for one thing. In Toronto we got foul-mouthed but mostly gun-less racists. Anyhow, I decided to accompany my grandfather Hamid back to Somalia during December vacation. Grandpa Hamid is the only member of my family who still talks to me. When my parents threw me out for being bisexual, he kept sending me money. Thus, I found myself in Mogadishu with him when the Zombie Apocalypse happened.

No one knows for sure how it began. There were reports of drug addict-like men and women biting folks in the streets of Tehran. Riots in the streets of Bahrain. Gang wars in the streets of Paris. Massacres in the streets of Boston. People thought it was another 'plague of revolutions'. So many of them had happened in recent years. Tea Party bozos in the United States. Occupy Wall Street dumbasses in America, Europe and Canada. The Arab Spring across the Middle East. Religious and socio-economic clashes in African countries, most specifically Somaliland, Ethiopia and Nigeria. Riots were nothing new. Until the reports of cannibalism started to surface. Suddenly, the menace wasn't just on TV anymore. It wasn't just on CNN, Radio Canada, MSNBC, CBC and on the Web. It was everywhere. Swarms of ghoulish men and ghoulish women descended upon the cities and towns of the world. The Zombie War had begun. Global infection spread in the United States of America, Canada, Mexico, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, Brazil, India, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, Congo, Italy, France, Great Britain, Haiti, Cuba and Jamaica. By January 2013, civilization had fallen. The Zombies were everywhere.

Here in Mogadishu, my fellow Somalis and I tried to survive. I met a six-foot-tall, beautiful Somali woman named Aamina Kensington. We became friends. Aamina wasn't like other Somali women. And it wasn't just because she had a foreign-sounding name. She grew up in the City of Boston, Massachusetts. Born to a White father and Somali mother. Aamina's mother Simane was an outcast from her clan. She converted to Christianity while living in New England, and married a White man. For this reason, her Somali clan hated her. Aamina Kensington grew up Catholic, and had a Master's degree in business administration from Northeastern University in Boston. Oh, and she was also a member of the U.S. Army National Guard. Aamina spoke fluent Somali, Arabic, Farsi, English, Spanish and French. She worked for the United Nations in Somalia.

When the Zombie Apocalypse began, Aamina was quick to form a group of women warriors which she dubbed the Huntresses. Somali women whom she trained to fight both Zombies and hostile humans. You have to understand that a lot of Somalis in the old country are racist, sexist and xenophobic. They still follow the sexist dogmas of Sharia Law and think women are inferior to men. Aamina's biggest problem in the early days of the Apocalypse wasn't the Zombies but the Somali mindset. When we met, she was shocked by me. An openly bisexual Somali guy born and raised in Canada who had surprisingly progressive views on women's issues and practiced Agnosticism, rather than Islam. She found me intriguing, and was pleasantly surprised to discover that I was good with any number of weapons and had vowed to protect my people. We became allies, and close friends.

Aamina and I organized the Resistance. Somalia is surrounded by African nations and Arab countries. All of whom were bursting with Zombies. So far, the desert protected us in that the massive hordes had yet to reach us. Aamina and I began building a massive fence around the Village of Aden, which was home to eight hundred people. Aamina and I were in charge, but we had help. Arthur Jackson, a young Black guy from New York, Deirdre Watson, a thirty-something White woman from New Jersey, Luciano Monteiro, a Hispanic guy from California, and Timothy Ming, an Asian guy from Vancouver City in British Columbia, Canada. We became the leaders of Aden after dispatching some narrow-minded Somali guys who thought the Zombie Apocalypse gave them the excuse to further oppress their people and behave like savages. We made some changes in Aden.

We declared that henceforth, democracy existed in Aden, not the doctrines of Sharia Law. To say that this shocked my fellow Somalis would be an understatement. Also, Aamina and I declared that both men and women would be trained to fight the Zombies. We banned the practice of circumcision. No one, male or female, shall ever be circumcised in Aden again. Also, we outlawed rape. Aamina gleefully castrated a forty-something Somali guy named Abdul whom she caught trying to rape a young lady named Atifah. The punishment for rape was castration. In public. The Somali guys got the message. By night, the Huntresses patrolled the Village of Aden, making sure everyone was safe. We had the only guns in town. Working together, we erected a forty-five-foot-high wall of cement covered with barb wire around the Village of Aden. We also spared the livestock and stocked ourselves with food and water. We were basically preparing ourselves for a siege. The community gardens and the wells were our investment into an uncertain future. Aamina and I knew this, and made sure everybody realized the importance of this. The world outside belonged to the Zombies. Soon they would reach us. Already dozens of them had come within sight of our walls, and we easily dispatched them. However, we knew more would come.

The Huntresses had dozens of firearms and lots of ammunition, but Aamina and I equipped them with metallic spears and swords because we knew a day would come when our guns ran out of ammo. Everybody had to know how to fight the Zombies using any weapon at their disposal. Thus, life continued in our little community. And something wonderful happened. Aamina and I fell in love. Father Jericho Lanester, a Catholic priest from Boston who was visiting his niece Deirdre in Somalia at the time of the plague, married us. We were married in a Christian ceremony, inside what's probably the first Catholic Church erected in Somalia. Quite a few Somali women have converted to Christianity in the year since Aamina and I took over the Village of Aden. And they refused to marry Somali men unless these men too converted to Christianity. Aamina and I laughed about that. How quickly the shoe turned to the other foot!

It's December 2013. There are quite possibly hundreds of thousands of Zombies surrounding the Village of Aden. Mostly we try to ignore them because they can't get over the wall. They try to ramp up and we discourage them with fire. We spare our bullets because we'll soon run out. In the last televised broadcast we heard, we learned that the world has indeed fallen to the Zombies. America? Gone. Congo? Cone. Saudi Arabia? Wiped out. Brazil? Dead. Or rather, Undead. Yemen? Swarming with the Undead. The Zombies are everywhere, man. Aamina and I focus on training our people, growing the crops and staying alive. We organize talent shows and other contests to keep ourselves entertained. Amazingly, our little community grows. There have been one hundred births since we built the Wall. Among these is a very special birth. That of my son, Stephen Kensington Youssef. Born to Aamina and I in early November. I hope to see my son grow. Outside the Wall, the situation grows dire. We have lots of food thanks to our crops, and plenty of water thanks to the wells. We have plenty of weapons, too. However, we are hopelessly outnumbered and surrounded by our enemies. One day, they'll breach the Wall. I'm sure of it. But that day is not today.