What Happened That Night

I want to thank Final Stand for his madness and Pintapau for his editing. All mistakes are mine.

*****

I wake with both a splitting headache and the rushing desire to piss. You know, the desire that is so strong your stomach hurts. The headache is so bad that I'm strongly considering pissing on myself as a viable option; instead I push the leather blanket and start moving slowly to the bathroom with my eyes closed. My head is killing me. One of these lousy fucks must have spiked my drink.

As I am making my way to the bathroom I step in something. God I hope it is not piss or someone upchuck. That would be totally my luck. Finally making it to the bathroom I feel around for the toilet while testing to see if my eyes are going to cooperate. Once again blessed with the gift of sight I release the contents of my bladder and make my way to the mirror. Looking at myself I notice that outside of the marker mustache (please please please don't let it be permanent marker) there is little damage that a shower won't fix. Same brown hair and eyes, same skin that would do well to get seen by the sun and same nose crooked from a misspent youth. All in all the same face that looked at me earlier. Stepping back I give myself a once over, looks like the same T shirt I wore when I came over, same pants and same pudge from too many sodas and too few sit-up's.

Everything seems to be in the proper place so I finish my business in the bathroom and make my way out to find my boots. I flick the hallway light switch but it does not come on... ohh well... carefully I make my way to the living room and see people everywhere. They are all laid out williy nilly and only one seems awake. She is pretty hot, long hair that looks black, but could be the low light. Her skin is the color of warm honey showing either a Middle Eastern or mixed heritage. Meh she was lucky, I got my father's skin tone, my mother's hair and the low affect from both African and Irish bloodlines. Her wings were a things of beauty, like dark leather, one wrapped around her body the other laying over the couch I was laying on... she looked so at peace... wait what the fuck... wings.

Ohh shit what did they slip me, I have to be hallucinating. I know it is fun to fuck with the teetotaler but really this is too much. I stumble over some asshole that decided to pass out on the floor in front of the hallway and living room. I must have missed him while I was hugging the wall trying to get to the bathroom. I am so pissed I am about to kick the shit out of the fucker... a nice prelude to the ass whipping I am about to give everyone that I can reach when I take a closer look. Ohh God please let this be the low light but this guy looks like he is missing his legs. His pants are still on but the legs are just... gone like they were torn off and I know he can't be sleeping, unless he is one of those weird fucks who sleeps with their eyes open... and their mouth open and not breathing.

Soon the other person, thing, I don't know, it is defiantly a female sits up and stretches and opens her eyes. They are the color of fresh Lavender. She lifts her hands above her head, stretching out a torso right out of a sports illustrated swimsuit wet dream. Wow she is perfect. I am so lost in her eyes and body I almost miss her speaking.

"Master you have woken"

Her voice is like both the purr of a much too content cat and a phone sex operator that really overly enjoyed their job. Her speech feels old like archaic ye olde type talk. It still gives me a chub hearing her voice. Yeah, has nothing to do with her mouth that just screams kiss me, especially when she bits her bottom lip. Or the eyes that say that the only thing missing in her bed is you and she plans to rectify that. It most certainly is not that 36c breasts that are straining against that whatever the hell she is wearing. I am not a pig and would never look at a woman as a sex object so it has to be her voice.

"Master I got bored waiting for you to wake up; your friends could only entertain me for a little while"

The way that she said friends was the same way my mother used to say it when she did not like who I was hanging with. I take a better look around the room and now that I'm fully awake I can really appreciate the shit storm that happened here. There were pieces of bodies everywhere. It looked like someone herded everyone in the middle of the living room then let loose a claymore in all four corners. The only thing that was untouched was the couch I woke up on that for some reason remained surprisingly free of everything. There was no blood or bits of anyone on the couch or on me.

In the midst of all this chaos it dawns on me that I'm not freaking out and I really should be. Sure I used to be in the Army and I have been to all the lovely places that whatever passes for a travel agent the Army uses could send me, but this was too much. Hell I was just a basic cav scout. This was some old Vietnam WWII style carnage. I should absolutely be voiding my bowels and screaming.

Instead I am watching this hot girl, thing, whatever, stretching like a cat. Her head down on the couch cushions while lifting her perfect hips and ass in the air all while maintaining a perfect arch to her back, her wings spread wide. She then sits down and wraps one of her wings around her body patting the cushion beside her. I make my way over to her, figuring that I cannot get away if I run and my riding boots are over there. There was no way I was going to leave those. Trust me you have no idea how much these things cost.

I sit down and she wraps her other wing around me. It feels comforting. She then leans against me, scenting my neck and it feels like she is giving me some sort of light kisses that make my skin tingle... and make my pants incredibly tight in the front. I turn to say something to her and all of a sudden her lips are on mine and her hand is on my chest. The kiss feels amazingly heady, almost euphoric. I start to feel her tongue invade my mouth and I don't fight her, I don't seem to want to. It is much too long and feels like it is split at the end. It sensuously explores my mouth while I use my own to explore hers. Her mouth has both the hint of cinnamon and vanilla. I love the taste and I don't even like vanilla or cinnamon. Well unless it is in hot apple cider.

I also feel like needles are invading my brain. I raise my hand to push her away, only to grab her by the back of her head and deepen the kiss. It has changed from her kissing me to me kissing her. I feel the nails on her hand claw through my shirt. As soon as I begin to push her back against the armrest she breaks the kiss.

She looks at me and smiles. "Well stud that was not half bad".

It seems that her whole demeanor has changed. She no more seems, I guess you could say reserved, instead she seems confident and, well, just different. Or as different as a chick with wings could be... oh and horns I just notice, she seems to have horns that start at her temples and are swept back against her hair.

I so need to find a light switch, I think to myself. Then I look around the room again and tell myself that would probably be a bad plan. Well, let's get some introductions out of the way and find out how fucked I am.

"Hello I am Chris and I have a few questions if you would indulge me?"

She just smiled this beatific smile.

"Ok first things first who are you, why are you here, why is everyone dead, why am I not dead, and will we be kissing again?" I rattled off the questions, my mouth clearly outrunning my brain. Hell, I don't even know where that last question came from... not that it was not a valid question that deserved an answer, well as long as the answer was a yes.

"I am the great and powerful OZ" she says as she raises her hands.

Suddenly there is fire all round us then a massive swirl of dark energy appears before my face and I reconsider crapping myself. As soon as it appears it is gone. It was like it did not happen, there was no scorch marks, not even a burning smell. I know that it was there I can feel the heat still permeating the room.

I am so busy looking around it was surprising when I hear her laughing.

"Sorry stud it was just too easy to mess with you." She wipes a tear from her eye and then claps her hands together. The lights come on and for some reason the jingle from late night USA infomercials come to my mind.

To say that she is beautiful with the lights on was an understatement. I also notice she's wearing pretty much a tunic and a wide leather belt. That seems to be it. Her thighs and legs are amazing and her feet end in clawed talons. Seem they match her hands and what I thought of as nails are claws. None of this detracted from her beauty in the least, wow there must be something really wrong with me. If she was standing she would stand maybe an inch taller than my five foot nine inch frame, I guess.

"Ok, from the top, I am Azrael, I came because I was summoned and then I came and came and came and came some more. Your friends were fun while they lasted. Everyone is dead because they were fools, you are not dead because you are my master."

She then grabs me by the face again and proceeds to kiss me into what I can only describe as a momentary fugue state. I cannot tell up or down and when she brakes away I try to follow her. Here I am in the midst of all this carnage and I'm trying to make out with this hot whatever she is. Damn if only Samantha could see me now. Oh shit Samantha.

Nothing kills a chubby like thinking of my wife. Ahh, the lovely Samantha. Married her right after Army OSUT, she was the first chick to put out and really the first one I really got to be around. Got married and she was the base bike while I was deployed. Got out the army and now she is the town bike. If only leaving her would not leave me destitute she would be out on her ass.

Now that my libido is under control ( thanks Sam you finally did something useful for me ) I can start trying to look at this rationally. Or as rationally as I could.

"So what are you and why are you calling me master?"

She looks at me and bites her bottom lip (there goes the chub again, how do women do that bottom lip thing that just gets every guy going?)

"Why don't you try and guess what I am."

Ok, how do I go about this. Since obviously I no longer live in the real world I have to dredge up all my other worldly knowledge. So I reach back into my forgotten realm story days. It does me almost zero good. Come on, I last read forgotten realms books like ten years ago.

"You are a demon" I finally say pulling the first answer I could out of my fourth point of contact. Azrael rolls her eyes at me.

"Saying I am a Demon is like saying you are a human. Sure that's somewhat accurate but it really does not say anything. Also what you consider a Demon spans almost the entire breadth of creatures that don't walk this plane. Let's try again for something specific."

"Well your name is Azrael which is the Hebrew and Islamic name for the Angel of Death. It is also meaning one who is helped by God. So I figure you are a fallen angel style demon."

Azrael get's very quiet and just stares at me for a few moments.

"How can you possibly know that?"

"Well I really liked the smurfs as a kid and thought the name was interesting. Hey I am an autodidact with ADD. I am a wealth of inane knowledge."

She crawls over to me and wraps me in her wings once again. Seating herself in my lap with her exposed vulva directly over crotch, my chastity was being protected by a pair of Levi's 501 relaxed fit.

"Well my little scholar you are wrong. I am what you would call a succubus."

"What, like suck out my soul and survive off my semen succubus?"

She looks down at me, opens her mouth then closes it, then opens it again then just closes it.

"Is that really what they say about us?"

She jumps off my lap and starts pacing around. Seeing this beautiful creature pace around throwing her hands in the air cursing is almost comical. I'm about to start laughing until she stubs her claw on the wall, gets mad and kicks a random torso out of the way, shredding it in the process. Then it really starts to hit home that I'm the only thing breathing with a very very dangerous creature. I think it is time to make my exit.

"What the fuck kind of sense does that make - look at me Chris." Azrael says as I'm trying to inch my way to the door, bike keys in hand.

"I have a six meter wing span, I am taller than you, I am probably around one hundred forty five lbs. The average human male would ejaculate at most ten milliliters. Would YOU be able to survive off that? What in the name of the infinite abyss do they teach you people?"

"Well don't you like turn it into energy... I guess like a plant does the sun only, you know, like spiritual photosynthesis or something?"

She stops right in front of me and pinches her nose as if she is trying to stave off a headache. Hey I know the feeling. In fact not ten minutes ago I felt the same way.

"No, it does not work like that at all. Sexual energy is around everyone pretty constantly and unlike what feminists and the church says, women think about sex as much as men do. That means everyone is putting off the energy which I can siphon and then use. I use it to power my spells but I cannot use it to sustain our life. I can use it to heal us or defend us but I can't just make food out of thin air. I need to eat and drink like you master."

Then she points one of those talons to my chest "I tell you right now I expect you to provide. I expect the choicest of mutton and veal. You think you eat well, now you are about to learn a thing or two and if you think you are stepping a foot in my kitchen or sitting at my table dressed as you have been then I am going to have to smack you on the left side of your head and push your mind right."

I'm inching back as she's talking and pointing that long claw into my chest when what she said finally starts to get through to me. It seems like she's using a lot of us and we in her sentences. Is there more than one succubus here? Then her last diatribe finally starts to hit home.

"You know, maybe this is getting lost in translation but you are making it sound like we are going to be in the same place together. You know like at the same time for an extended period."

"Of course we are, you're my master. My anchor to this realm and as long as you live I am your protector and servant. You offered a bond and I accepted the sacrifice."

As she says this she waves around at all the dead bodies.

"Really? Ohh well that's cool, so does that mean I can, you know, end your servitude and you can go back home?"

"Umm no that would violate our bond."

"Well what are the terms of our bond?" I ask.

"I won't say. But I will say it was a most ingenuous request both keeping you safe while leaving me all the latitude I could ever want. You are the first to bond me without limiting my powers."

I guess I would feel some pride if I could remember what the fuck happened. I start trying to rack my brain for what happened. I remember that Josh McGee, some asshat with too much money and too little sense, came to the shop. He wanted me to put on new baffles on his bike as well as new bars. I think the asshole saw one too many episodes of Sons of Anarchy, bought the nicest bike he could and put a whopping two hundred miles on it. He pretty much floored me when he invited me to this shindig, but I had nothing better to do so I showed up. Hell, anything to get me away from Samantha for a few hours. I remember riding up on my rigid frame chopper. And seeing all the cars outside. Any one of those bad babies could have paid for a new addon to the shop as well as a secretary to help me with all the damn paperwork I am backed up on.

I was sorely under dressed wearing a faded grey Hanes shirt. Riding boots and a leather jacket. I walked in the condo and the other ten or so people stopped and had a good stare. At twenty eight years old I was probably at a comparable age to everyone else but even though I owned my own bike shop everyone else probably made three times as much. If the cars outside were an indicator, everyone here could buy my shop; hell they could by the entire land my shop was on several times over.

Josh appeared and handed me a beer, which I promptly set down. I told him I didn't drink. I remember him laughing just one of those rich guy laughs.

"Someone get Christopher a coke."

"Hey man just call me Chris" I told him. In short order this stunning blond with a killer dress that left nothing to the imagination handed me a soda. Her hand caressed mine for a second and I watched her walk away with a swish of her hips.

After that things kinda get blurry, then the next thing I know I am walking into some "B" grade horror film. Seriously, something like this could easily show up on Roger Corman presents.

I turn my attention back to the succu... no wait Azrael, got to remember her name is Azrael. She's currently walking amongst the corpses lifting up torsos and bottoms that looked to have been ripped in half.

She picks up the body of a tall brunette woman. It looks like her throat was ripped out and her face was what looked like chewed on. The brunette was wearing some sort of sparkly top and painted on jeans. The pants were so tight I swore she was poured into them; she would have been gorgeous except for her missing throat and the bite mark on her face. Now she looks like a high priced walker from the walking dead.

"Umm Azrael what are you doing?"

Azrael looks at me and purses her lips "Just some shopping."

I must have had a look on my face that speaks my confusion because she just sighs.

"Look master, you don't think my current clothes will cut it, so I am trying to find some new ones. They obviously are not going to use them any longer and they are quite nice. It just seems many of these women are built like boys."

I'm still watching her going through the bodies, when she starts to remove one of the bodies clothing. It is another bottle blond built somewhat close to Azrael. She then strips off her tunic and I can see her in all her glory. Then I clue in into what she said... damn I am so fed up with playing catch up with her.

"What do you mean I think your clothes won't cut it? How do you even know what I think; holy shit can you read my mind?"

"Well yes and no. When we kissed I read your mind, well only the surface thoughts. Now we are linked, I mean I cannot get deep into your thoughts or such. I did get a quick crash course on current speech and some social norms but only what you know."

Hmm that can be interesting I guess.

"So if we are linked does that mean that I can read your mind?" I asked her as I have to dodge an arm that she just arbitrarily throws over her shoulder. How weird is this, I know I am going to need some serious counseling. I am sitting here with a demon chick as she is stripping bodies for their wardrobe and tossing their limbs like she does not care.

"You should be able to someday" she purses those luscious lips again.

"It will depend on if you live long enough" she lifts a top and holds it against her ample cleavage. It is a lovely top if you can get past the blood and bits of flesh hanging off it. I am starting to worry because it seems that I can get past it.

"So yeah umm what happens now?"

"Well master now I guess I clean up and we go home."

I just look at her like she has grown a second head as she starts dressing.

"How the hell do you plan for that to work?"

"Do you not see the version of hell this house is. How do you plan to just clean it up? I don't know what fucked up world you are from but people in the tax bracket these assholes are in just don't just disappear." I tell her as I spread my arms around at the mass carnage on display.