Kanitz arranged me for me to see my children before I left the Palace. Oscel and Caneia (Airta's twins) were 3 years old, and Tonola, my daughter by Themis, was 2 1/2. I talked with all three; Tonola wanted me to identify the flowers she'd yanked from the Palace garden. She held them up, one at a time, until I'd named them all.
I was on my way out when I heard a discreet cough, which caused me to turn my head.
Themis.
I went to her, and she enfolded me in her arms. There was no one else nearby, thankfully, so she was able to kiss me, and hold me tight.
No platitudes, no clichés. She didn't have to say anything. Themis embraced me, kissed me once more, and then slipped away.
***
Tallia was trying hard to keep her emotions in check. She was distraught, but didn't want to upset or depress me. Our lovemaking, though, was frighteningly intense, as if she was trying to sear every sensation into her memory.
Esyle was more pragmatic. If these were indeed to be my last days, she made certain that I would enjoy them. Fine meals, the best of Tudino's wines ... and whenever Tallia let me go, Esyle took me to bed, and cradled me.
Tallia was upset that their cycles were all wrong; there was no way for either of them to become pregnant before the duel. Esyle simply accepted it, as one of those things she couldn't change.
She also helped me to write my will. I wanted it done, so that they'd be properly looked after if Berandot killed me.
Bequests for Airta's twins, a small amount for Tonola ... it was unlikely that she'd need money, given who her mother was, but a gift now and then couldn't hurt. In the same vein, Aneli's son, Tonol,
and
the child she was carrying now, would probably never be poor, but I set a little aside for them.
Yehla's girl, named after Oshide could use a more sizeable grant. Then there was Tudino's child - she insisted that she was pregnant, though there was no way to be sure.
Would Kanitz conceive? That was strange; I might never know.
Five children - or maybe eight. Two battles won, plus the winter raid. I hadn't done badly at all, in a few short years. Then I shook myself - I was thinking like I was already dead.
I left the Belere to Esyle and Tallia. Even though they probably couldn't afford to maintain it, they could sell it and live comfortably on the proceeds.
Then I got busy trying to figure out how I was going to win this duel.
Tudino and I practiced with pistols, with Nasta and Koroba watching. Koroba herself was a damn good shot, in addition to being deadly with a variety of blades. She had a few useful tips to pass on.
They showed me how to stand - which I had already figured out for myself, but I let them move me around until they were satisfied.
- "It's a shame you're so damn big." said Tudino. "Now would be a good time to be a skinny wretch, like me, or ..."
- "Like Koroba." said Nasta. The big blonde wasn't a fool; she just didn't have any brakes on her tongue. If a thought crossed her mind, it usually ended up exiting via her mouth.
After a long practice session, where I must have shot thirty times, with several pistols, and Koroba cleaning and reloading for me, I turned to Tudino.
- "Well - is there anything else I can do?"
- "Hope she misses?" said Nasta.
***
Avette sent a polite note, asking if she could come by to visit. I assumed that it was to discuss her hemmer; it was, and it wasn't.
I was always struck by the olive tone of her skin, contrasted with the copper colour of her hair. She had grey-blue eyes, and classic features; once again, I was reminded of the portrait paintings of a millennium ago.
She'd met Tallia, after the battle of Limset, but she introduced herself to Esyle, and thanked both sisters for considering her wish to have me at her hemmer.
- "We'll leave you to it." said Esyle.
Avette had a preternatural ability to remain calm and composed. Most people would have begun to speak the moment the door closed behind the sisters. But Avette simply continued to look at me, without any change of expression.
- "I wish to thank you." she said, finally. "I am told that you interceded on my behalf, with the Chancellor." Avette's title had finally come through; the Queen had made her a Countess.
- "Langoret and I believed that you deserved every honour."
- "Thank you, again. There is another matter I wish to discuss with you."
- "If you're here to talk about your hemmer," I said, "that makes you just about the only person I know who thinks I can win this duel. Or survive it, at any rate."
- "You can win." she said.
- "Oh?"
- "I am a very good shot, Colonel Cook." she said. "I am not bragging, or claiming a skill I do not possess. When Berandot challenged me, I was pleased, because I expected that killing her would prove that right was on my side."
- "I believe you."
- "I was burning with anger, the week before our duel. I simply could not wait to face her. And when we finally met, that morning, the mere sight of her nearly drove me mad. I wanted to hit her, to smash my fist into her lying mouth."
- "I know that feeling."
Avette frowned. "This is no joke. If you are not mentally prepared, she may very well kill you."
- "I apologize. I wasn't taking what you said lightly."
Avette waited for a moment before beginning to speak again.
- "Berandot was not angry at me. She saw me merely as an opportunity to defend her reputation, to refute my accusation. She is no coward. But her claim to honour is a sham."
"I let my anger take over. I fired first - and I missed."
"Berandot took all the time she needed to compose herself. Then she fired - and missed by an inch. She meant to kill me, Cook. She was aiming at my body, but she struck my outstretched arm instead."
- "You were angry. She was calm."
- "Exactly. When you meet, on the morning of your duel, she will say something offensive - not merely vulgar, but utterly vile and despicable."
- "To make me angry."
- "Yes. She will smile at you, mock you. And if you let her irritate you, if you think too much about what she said ... you will miss."
- "What do you recommend?" I asked.
- "I would suggest that you ignore her, but that is difficult. You could also fight fire with fire, if you think you can make
her
angry."
"Duelling requires ice-cold water in your veins. I was too hot-blooded."
- "That's excellent advice. Thank you."
- "Are you a good shot, Cook?"
- "Fair."
- "Let her shoot first."
Avette was silent for several minutes, letting me digest what she'd said.
"May I say more?" she asked.
- "Please."
- "I was a member of a rather conservative faction. We were unhappy with the direction of the wars - every war, not just the last one. We disapproved of the Queen's choice of an heir. We did not like the Heir's choice of a Chancellor. In short, we were unhappy, and disapproved of just about everything."
"We claimed to represent traditional values: honour, loyalty, truth."
"It came as quite a shock to me, to realize that most of my colleagues were only paying lip service to those values. They would have put a Crolian on the throne, if only they could control her. They would have happily lost the war, to prevent their rivals or opponents from winning it."
I didn't say a word. Avette was baring her soul, and admitting past mistakes - it was already difficult for her, without me interrupting.
"After Limset, I was so angry that I announced my intention to become pregnant by you. I am ashamed to admit that my intention was mostly to shock my former 'friends'."
"It was profoundly disrespectful to you. I apologize."
- "I understand."
She nodded, and fell silent again. A few moments later, she went on.
- "I had time, after the duel, to reconsider my hasty words, and to re-evaluate ... everything. It became clear to me that while I had behaved foolishly, your conduct throughout was honourable and courageous."
"That is why I had to come today, to formally ask you to attend my next hemmer. I would very much like to have a child by you."
***
"Did you hear, Colonel?" asked Nasta, the big blonde. "Your friend Krayt got a beating last night. Someone did a pretty thorough job on him."
- "Really?" I said. "Where were you two last night?"
- "Ha ha." said Nasta. "Funny."
I was just joking, of course. But two things struck me: Koroba didn't laugh. The impish little blonde had a quick wit, and a sly sense of humour. But on this occasion, she didn't say anything at all. She also turned her head when I looked her way.
The second thing I noticed was that she kept her hands behind her back - where I couldn't see them.
***
Esyle organized a party, the night before the duel.
You could make the argument that I should have been resting, or clearing my mind, or something like that. But my lover knew me well; she suspected - rightly - that I wouldn't be getting much sleep tonight.
Tisucha and Talley came. Langoret and Tomos, Tudino and Avette rounded out our little gathering, along with all four of my bodyguards. Esyle had thought about inviting Aneli, and then decided not to.
- "She would drink, and get maudlin - and then do something dramatic to claim everyone's attention."
- "You're probably right." I said.
It was a quiet affair. Langoret and Avette seemed to get along well. Tudino was more lively, and she included the bodyguards in the conversation. Tallia didn't cry.
Our guests left early, after wishing me luck. Esyle put Tudino in a guest room; as my second, she'd be accompanying me to the duel.
Tallia took me to her bed, and made love to me, with passion, and urgency. When she fell asleep, I left her and went to Esyle's room. We made love, too, more quietly, but no less intensely.
It rained that night, I remember - quite heavily. The ground would be slick, in the morning. I was suddenly glad that we were fighting with pistols, instead of swords: the footing might be slippery.
Then I smiled at myself, in the dark.
Glad
to be fighting with pistols ...
***
The morning dawned grey and cool, with wisps of fog still in the air. I thought about just sneaking out early, but Esyle and Tallia both woke up. Esyle looked like she hadn't slept at all. They tried to get me to eat, but I had no appetite.
They hugged me, and kissed me hard. I told them how much I loved them.
- "
Come back.
" whispered Esyle.
The muddy streets were almost deserted, in the pre-dawn. None of the few individuals we passed had anything to say, for which I was grateful.
Tudino and the bodyguards were silent as well.
The location chosen for the duel was just off the road to Frenet. I'd passed this way, in the other direction, when I first arrived in the capital. It felt like a long, long time ago, or as if it had happened to another person.
Tudino and Colonel Seriba - Berandot's second - had agreed on the spot: a meadow, shielded from the road by a small grove of trees.
The grass was slick, and cold. For some reason I noticed that.
There were half a dozen people there when we arrived. Berandot, her second, a few servants, and a doctor. Tudino went over to speak to them. I wondered if they flipped a coin to choose either end of the meadow.
But Tudino was also honour-bound to ask Seriba if the quarrel could be settled. Seriba had to ask Berandot, who would say no, she could not accept an apology, because the affront to her honour was too great ...
