Kanitz arranged me for me to see my children before I left the Palace. Oscel and Caneia (Airta's twins) were 3 years old, and Tonola, my daughter by Themis, was 2 1/2. I talked with all three; Tonola wanted me to identify the flowers she'd yanked from the Palace garden. She held them up, one at a time, until I'd named them all.
I was on my way out when I heard a discreet cough, which caused me to turn my head.
Themis.
I went to her, and she enfolded me in her arms. There was no one else nearby, thankfully, so she was able to kiss me, and hold me tight.
No platitudes, no clichΓ©s. She didn't have to say anything. Themis embraced me, kissed me once more, and then slipped away.
***
Tallia was trying hard to keep her emotions in check. She was distraught, but didn't want to upset or depress me. Our lovemaking, though, was frighteningly intense, as if she was trying to sear every sensation into her memory.
Esyle was more pragmatic. If these were indeed to be my last days, she made certain that I would enjoy them. Fine meals, the best of Tudino's wines ... and whenever Tallia let me go, Esyle took me to bed, and cradled me.
Tallia was upset that their cycles were all wrong; there was no way for either of them to become pregnant before the duel. Esyle simply accepted it, as one of those things she couldn't change.
She also helped me to write my will. I wanted it done, so that they'd be properly looked after if Berandot killed me.
Bequests for Airta's twins, a small amount for Tonola ... it was unlikely that she'd need money, given who her mother was, but a gift now and then couldn't hurt. In the same vein, Aneli's son, Tonol,
and
the child she was carrying now, would probably never be poor, but I set a little aside for them.
Yehla's girl, named after Oshide could use a more sizeable grant. Then there was Tudino's child - she insisted that she was pregnant, though there was no way to be sure.
Would Kanitz conceive? That was strange; I might never know.
Five children - or maybe eight. Two battles won, plus the winter raid. I hadn't done badly at all, in a few short years. Then I shook myself - I was thinking like I was already dead.
I left the Belere to Esyle and Tallia. Even though they probably couldn't afford to maintain it, they could sell it and live comfortably on the proceeds.
Then I got busy trying to figure out how I was going to win this duel.
Tudino and I practiced with pistols, with Nasta and Koroba watching. Koroba herself was a damn good shot, in addition to being deadly with a variety of blades. She had a few useful tips to pass on.
They showed me how to stand - which I had already figured out for myself, but I let them move me around until they were satisfied.
- "It's a shame you're so damn big." said Tudino. "Now would be a good time to be a skinny wretch, like me, or ..."
- "Like Koroba." said Nasta. The big blonde wasn't a fool; she just didn't have any brakes on her tongue. If a thought crossed her mind, it usually ended up exiting via her mouth.
After a long practice session, where I must have shot thirty times, with several pistols, and Koroba cleaning and reloading for me, I turned to Tudino.
- "Well - is there anything else I can do?"
- "Hope she misses?" said Nasta.
***
Avette sent a polite note, asking if she could come by to visit. I assumed that it was to discuss her hemmer; it was, and it wasn't.
I was always struck by the olive tone of her skin, contrasted with the copper colour of her hair. She had grey-blue eyes, and classic features; once again, I was reminded of the portrait paintings of a millennium ago.
She'd met Tallia, after the battle of Limset, but she introduced herself to Esyle, and thanked both sisters for considering her wish to have me at her hemmer.
- "We'll leave you to it." said Esyle.
Avette had a preternatural ability to remain calm and composed. Most people would have begun to speak the moment the door closed behind the sisters. But Avette simply continued to look at me, without any change of expression.
- "I wish to thank you." she said, finally. "I am told that you interceded on my behalf, with the Chancellor." Avette's title had finally come through; the Queen had made her a Countess.
- "Langoret and I believed that you deserved every honour."
- "Thank you, again. There is another matter I wish to discuss with you."
- "If you're here to talk about your hemmer," I said, "that makes you just about the only person I know who thinks I can win this duel. Or survive it, at any rate."
- "You can win." she said.
- "Oh?"
- "I am a very good shot, Colonel Cook." she said. "I am not bragging, or claiming a skill I do not possess. When Berandot challenged me, I was pleased, because I expected that killing her would prove that right was on my side."
- "I believe you."
- "I was burning with anger, the week before our duel. I simply could not wait to face her. And when we finally met, that morning, the mere sight of her nearly drove me mad. I wanted to hit her, to smash my fist into her lying mouth."
- "I know that feeling."
Avette frowned. "This is no joke. If you are not mentally prepared, she may very well kill you."
- "I apologize. I wasn't taking what you said lightly."
Avette waited for a moment before beginning to speak again.
- "Berandot was not angry at me. She saw me merely as an opportunity to defend her reputation, to refute my accusation. She is no coward. But her claim to honour is a sham."
"I let my anger take over. I fired first - and I missed."
"Berandot took all the time she needed to compose herself. Then she fired - and missed by an inch. She meant to kill me, Cook. She was aiming at my body, but she struck my outstretched arm instead."
- "You were angry. She was calm."
- "Exactly. When you meet, on the morning of your duel, she will say something offensive - not merely vulgar, but utterly vile and despicable."
- "To make me angry."
- "Yes. She will smile at you, mock you. And if you let her irritate you, if you think too much about what she said ... you will miss."
- "What do you recommend?" I asked.
- "I would suggest that you ignore her, but that is difficult. You could also fight fire with fire, if you think you can make
her
angry."
"Duelling requires ice-cold water in your veins. I was too hot-blooded."
- "That's excellent advice. Thank you."
- "Are you a good shot, Cook?"
- "Fair."
- "Let her shoot first."
Avette was silent for several minutes, letting me digest what she'd said.
"May I say more?" she asked.
- "Please."
- "I was a member of a rather conservative faction. We were unhappy with the direction of the wars - every war, not just the last one. We disapproved of the Queen's choice of an heir. We did not like the Heir's choice of a Chancellor. In short, we were unhappy, and disapproved of just about everything."
"We claimed to represent traditional values: honour, loyalty, truth."
"It came as quite a shock to me, to realize that most of my colleagues were only paying lip service to those values. They would have put a Crolian on the throne, if only they could control her. They would have happily lost the war, to prevent their rivals or opponents from winning it."
I didn't say a word. Avette was baring her soul, and admitting past mistakes - it was already difficult for her, without me interrupting.
"After Limset, I was so angry that I announced my intention to become pregnant by you. I am ashamed to admit that my intention was mostly to shock my former 'friends'."
"It was profoundly disrespectful to you. I apologize."
- "I understand."