"It" slithered through my door.
It was heavy, I felt the floorboards sag and heard them creak as it shuffled into my residence carrying crates.
Rations, they were. What did snakes eat? Birds? Rodents?
Because that was what it looked like, a giant, vaguely man-shaped snake.
It was large, far taller than a man, and where its torso ended a long, winding tail trailed behind.
The war against XCOM was picking up, they had been attacking medical facilities outside the town, and we were all glad that ADVENT had deployed front-line troops to protect us, rather than the glorified riot cops seen in the cities. They didn't have the facilities to garrison them all, so some of them were temporarily moving into human residences until their housing could be constructed. It wouldn't take long, ADVENT were nothing if not efficient, at least that's how I reassured myself as the thing unloaded another crate from a transport and brought it inside.
A Viper had been assigned to my house.
I had seen them on TV, at the parades, but never in person.
They were imposing creatures, one had to wonder if they hailed from some distant star or if they were amalgamations of human and alien genetics, their humanoid features were unnerving, certainly not the most photogenic of the ADVENT managerie that we had come to accept as a part of our daily lives.
It seemed indifferent to me, going about it's business as if this were any barracks and not a private home, it did not return my gaze, or even acknowledge that I was there.
They hadn't told us what we would be getting, they delivered leaflets to us, not so much asking permission as informing us that those residences without young children or elderly people would be required to take in a trooper for a period of time. As a chronic bachelor, I had drawn one of the short straws.
As the Viper shuffled out of the house again I thanked my stars that it wasn't one of those Mutons I had seen wandering the area since the terrorist attacks. They didn't look to be the amicable types, I couldn't imagine having a conversation with one over breakfast.
I let my mind wander back to the crates, and what manner of food might be in them.
I heard the truck spool up and drive away, and the alien brought the last crate inside and set it by the door.
It stretched it's long, sinewy body and appraised the room.
It looked out of it's element, which might have solicited a chuckle from me were there not a 20-foot snake moster standing in my living room.
Then it's eyes met mine, like balls of amber burning into my brain.
I shivered and averted my eyes, trying my best not to look startled or repulsed. Surely aliens could be offended just as humans could?
It reached into a pouch on a belt that hung across it's hips, and then I realized that it had hips! On more thorough inspection it almost had an hourglass figure, the "snake" body beginning roughly where the knees might be on a human. Was it female? Was there such a thing as gender in its species?
From this pouch it produced a holo-tablet, almost comically small in it's long, dexterous fingers. It didn't escape my attention that they were tipped with wicked nails.
It burbled and hissed, and then the holo-tablet crackled to life.
"WHERE TO PROTECT FOOD"
I hesitated, then understood that the device was a translator.
It was asking where I wanted it to put the rations it had brought in from the truck.
"Um, do you understand me?"
It gurgled again and the device hissed.
"YES"
"You can move those rations into the pantry, it's through that door and to the left."
It waited a moment, then made a huffing noise.
"REPEAT EASIER"
"Oh sorry, take the crates that way, "I pointed towards the pantry, "and put them on the shelves."
It seemed to accept this, and began to move the crates of rations where I had indicated.
After a few minutes of this (the crates were large, too large for me to help it carry them) it returned to the living room, seemingly satisfied.
"WHERE TO SLEEP"
That was a good question, where did a 20 foot snake-man sleep in a human-sized house? I thought for a moment, then began to push the two couches and the glass coffee table from the middle of the room out to the walls, clearing a sizable area. It watched patiently as I pulled cushions from the couches and piled them in a rough circle.
I left to find spare pillows from the now obsolete guest bed and spread a few sheets and towels over the mess.
When I was finished I gestured, and the Viper moved forward to gingerly test it's new nest with a long finger.
It seemed pleased, I was surprised how much emotion that reptilian face could convey.
"A COMFORTABLE BED, BETTER THAN STATION"
I was taken aback by the uncharacteristically accurate translation and laughed.
It cocked it's head like a dog, and I said "Good."
The Viper was very intelligent, I don't know why but I assumed from it's appearance that it would be somehow bestial, but as it preened and fluffed the pillows I had laid out for it, I felt a very human connection forming between us.
Over the next several days the Viper would leave the house before I awoke, and be back late in the evening, she seemed to have no leisure time, and spent what little time was available to her between patrols preparing strange gelatinous pellets from the ration crates.
I wanted to smell or taste one while she was away but I was afraid she might notice and take offense.
I had taken to referring to the Viper as "she", as I was increasingly convinced that her graceful mannerisms and preening behaviour were indicative of a female, throw-pillow jokes aside.
My suspicions were confirmed one day.
I had returned from my job at a nearby ADVENT factory that produced autonomous robots for the war effort earlier in the day, and had been idly watching TV, when the Viper shuffled into the house.
The day had been unusually warm, a stifling 80 degrees with high humidity.
I was lounging wearing nothing but shorts, trying to sweat it out with a cold soda, and had not expected her to be back for several more hours.
I was taken aback, she was normally very punctual, infact I had not seen her deviate from her schedule once in the 4 days she had lived here with me.
I scrambled to find some pants, then wondered if aliens had any sense of modesty to begin with and thought better of it.
She never announced herself when she came home, I would normally hear her dump her gear by the door then either prepare some gelatin pellets or go directly to bed in her nest. She seemed to use the holo-tablet translator only when requesting something of me.
I respected her space and did not pry, partly out of respect (she was a soldier after all) and partly through a mild anxiety such as one gets around large animals.
The room I was in faced the living room and had a view of her nest through the doorway, I had dragged one of the couches in here and set up a TV monitor against the wall, and I could see her as she dropped her massive weapon by the coat rack and slithered over to her bed.
I watched her, curious, wondering what the texture of that winding body might feel like, was it dry and smooth like a snake, or slimy and rough?
Her undulations drew my eyes to her wide hips and the belt that hung off them, where exotic gadgets dangled from hooks.
Then she removed the heavy metal chestpiece she always wore, reaching behind her hooded head and releasing a catch from the layer of reflective black armor that ran down her spine.
Two massive, firm breasts fell out of the plate, bouncing gently as she discarded the armor near her nest.
My eyes widened and I gaped as she turned slightly, giving me a side-on view as she stretched, seemingly relieved to be free of the restrictive gear.
They were like basketballs, they would have been comical on a human, but on her massive, exaggerated frame and wide shoulders they hung beautifully, heavy and inviting.
Damn straight the Viper was a woman, maybe her species had ten genders and reproduced asexually, I didn't know, but that was the largest pair of tits I had ever laid eyes on.
I felt a heat rising in my groin, and with a start, realized that if she turned around to face the pantry she would see me here, almost nude with a growing erection. Would she even understand what that meant? I couldn't take the chance. I got out the couch gingerly, trying not to make any noise, but her head flicked around as if my very attempt at stealth had alerted her to a threat.
She bristled, her hood flaring, I prepared for death, and then she relaxed, cocking her head in that curious manner that implied a query.
Cursing myself, I waved my hand in greeting from my hunched position, by this point she was facing me from beyond the door and her mammoth breasts were hanging in full view.
I couldn't help myself, if God himself had come down from heaven to strike me down in punishment I would still have looked.
My eyes darted down momentarily, long enough for her to notice, and what wouldn't she notice? Who knew what 6th and 7th and 8th sense she might possess. Her amber orbs strayed to my groin, did she know? Was she psychic? Did she have X-ray vision? Or did she possess the sense common to many species of Earth snake that would allow her to sense the heat from the blood pooling in my genitals? Was I just a human-shaped heatmap of arousal to her eyes?
I decided to simply play dumb, and half crouched half walked into my bedroom to retrieve more clothing. When I was dressed I went to the bathroom sink and splashed cold water on my face, examining my burning cheeks in the mirror.
What the fuck had I just seen?
Why did that alien thing have a rack that would make Pamela Anderson blush? Surely reptiles didn't nurse their young? I knew that some species of snake gave birth to live young but reptiles did not...lactate!
Was she even a reptile? Was she a snake? No, of course not, she was an alien from an alien planet who just happened to look like one, with it's own evolution and it's own animal groups.
