The Witch, boy, and Penis
This is one of my stranger stories, but I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. All characters are over 18.
"Please Jeff."
"No," I said flipping the channel.
"Come on, it's just a small test."
"That's what you said about the hair potion. I had to cut my hair every day for a week."
"That was just a minor hick up. A bit too much wart root. This will be different, I promise."
I gave Amy an unamused look. "Will it affect my body in any way?"
"I mean, that's kinda the point-"
"Then no."
She let out a long sigh as she crossed her arms.
I tried not to look at her and focus on the TV while we sat in silence. I knew if I did, she would be begging me with her eyes. All while her body was eagerly fidgeting. She was always eager. Ever since we met in elementary school. Ever since she told me she was a witch.
Now, I know that sounds crazy, but it's true. When I first met her on that playground, she was digging around in the bushes. Her hands were filled with weeds when I asked her what she was doing. I'll never forget how eager her smile looked when she told me 'I'm gathering ingredients.' From that day on, she always intrigued me. Maybe it was her honesty; maybe it was her fascination. Or, it could have been when she turned a mouse green before my eyes. In any case, I've been by her side since.
She never could explain how she knew magic. It didn't come from her family; they were as lost as me. I doubt it came from some higher power; she didn't believe in any. More likely, it was a freak accident. That was usually our joke when it came up. It never mattered much to her, though. She just knew how to do things and loved to test it all the time. And that testing is why I was reluctant to move in with her.
When she asked me, I couldn't tell if she was joking. Normally, that wasn't her humor, but it was so out of left field, I wasn't expecting it. At the time, we were both struggling to hold a roommate and didn't make enough to rent a place alone. She would always scare off anyone with her magical experiments and I would find the ones you never want as a roommate. In the end, it was the most logical choice for us to live together. I just had to make sure I kept her bad habits in check. So, I set some ground rules and agreed.
I'm sure people thought we were dating when they heard the news. My parents certainly did. But it isn't like that between us. She's cute with her long, red hair, her dimpled smile, and her large, round glasses. And her body is just by type, just thin enough without too much chest or hips. Like a running body without all the effort. Its just her personality was a bit... much at times. We got along great, but occasionally, she would go overboard. Sometimes, her obsessiveness would cause issues. Like forgetting to eat for two days. Or missing rent for the month. She always bounced back and made things better, but those moments would always hamper any interest. In my mind, she always just stayed a close friend. And she never showed interest herself, so that's how I viewed her.
A close friend who was currently rocking the couch with her eagerness.
I took a risk and glanced over. Big mistake. I was instantly met with those big doe eyes sitting behind those big round lenses. Any sadder and she could have charmed a lion out of their meal. But it was enough to rope me.
"Fine," I said with a sigh. "But you have to promise to limit yourself this time."
"Yes!" she said, fist pumping the air. She quickly recovered with a cough, though, when she saw my glare. "I promise to keep it small. I just want to see how the human body reacts. Wait right here, I'll be right back."
"Like I have anywhere to go."
If she noticed my sad tone, she didn't show it as she bound off to her room. I've been in a rut lately with both women and friends. I found myself just going to and from work with no socializing in between. What other friends I had were off doing their own things and hadn't reached out. I know they were probably just busy. And I've hadn't had a girlfriend in months. The last one freaked out when they saw Amy walk into the kitchen with tentacles for fingers. So, I've been confined to the apartment and helping Amy with her tests.
A few minutes later, she returned with a vial and a notepad. The vial wasn't very big, smaller than her hand, and filled with a pale pink liquid. When she handed it to me, I saw that it had small flecks of green floating in it and smelled like fresh dirt.
"So, what's it supposed to do?" I asked, swirling it slightly.
"I don't know exactly."
"That doesn't sound limiting."
She tilted her head as she looked at her notepad. "Well, the main ingredient is Root of Crowfoot. My research says it increases vitality in women. But, I can't find what it does in men. So, I wanted to see. Don't worry. It's harmless. I tested it on a mouse last week. It's still alive."
"Nothing strange happened to it?"
"Not really," she said, flipping a page. "It got hyper for a few days, but that's it."
I looked back at the vial. "So, you want to see if it does the same thing for me."
"Right. I also added some ox eye fluid, horsehair, and forget-me-not leaves. It should increase your sensitivity in case you are naturally resistant."
"Right," I said, not understanding any of it. "So, normal routine, then?"
"Normal routine. Tell me any initial reactions and keep a log of any changes over the next week. Make it two just in case."
"Bottoms up."
I took one last look at the concoction before drinking it whole. My tongue was instantly met with a bubblegum taste, but different. Almost stale. It was a bit slimy, but not overall unpleasant. I could feel it go down the whole way, causing my body to tingle with a warming sensation.
"My body feels slightly warm," I said, adjusting slightly. "Kinda like drinking hot chocolate on a cold day."
She quickly started taking notes. "No sudden changes to skin or hair pigment... No swelling of body parts... Subject seems healthy in initial stages."
"Hey," I said, glaring at her.
"Right, sorry. No subject talk."
I wiggled my body a little, testing every limb. "Nothing out of the ordinary yet."
"Must be slow moving, then. The mouse did take a few hours to show signs."
