I stifle a scream as I wake up. The third night with the same nightmare! For a few minutes, I lie in the bed getting my breath and pulse under control. It is still dark outside, but there is no way I can go back to sleep, so I sneak out of bed without waking my big sister. We have shared a bed for all my life, but soon she will marry and move out. My mother sleeps behind the blanket that divides the single room of the hut, I can hear her light snore. My father drowned while fishing more than a year ago, and she has not taken a new husband yet.
Since they are both asleep I don't have to cover up, but stand naked for a few seconds as I remove my nightgown and put on my day clothes. Then I try to be silent as I open the door and step out into the night. The first hint of light can be seen in the east, announcing the coming dawn. But I look instead at the Mountain. The moonlight shows that smoke is rising from the crater, and an orange glow illuminates the smoke from below. It has begun!
The Fiery Mountain is the source of our prosperity. Every five years or so, it erupts into fire and ash. Lava will flow down the far side of the mountain, and a thin layer of ash will fall on the fields and on the villages. The ash brings fertility to the fields, and health to the people.
It is too dark now, but on a clear day two other islands are visible in the south. They lack a fiery mountain, and it is said that those who live there sometimes have too little to eat. It is even said that their mothers sometimes die in childbirth, and that the newborn children don't always live to adulthood. I do not know if that is really true, but there can be no doubt that the Mountain blesses our island. A blessing that comes at a price!
In the hour after dawn the people of the four other villages arrive. My village is the one closest to the summit, it makes it the natural gathering place on a day like this. And it makes our chief the Chief of Chiefs.
Our village is on a shoulder of the mountain; between the village and the mountain there is a wide but shallow depression. When it rains heavily, a temporary lake will form, but most days it is dry and covered with grass. This is where the people of the five villages meet for the Choosing.
In the center stands the Chief of Chiefs. He will cast the sticks repeatedly, until the Will of the Mountain is clear. Around him, the four other chiefs and the five eldest women of the villages form a circle. Their role is to make sure that the Chief reads the sticks honestly.
Then all of us stand, who are at least 18 years old, but were not 18 at the last eruption. One of us will be chosen. I stand in this circle, and further down the circle my sister stands, holding the hand of her husband-to-be. She looks scared. We all do.
The rest of the villagers form a broad outer circle - children and adults alike. Their role is to prevent the chosen one from running away, and if necessary to hold back his or her parents.
The first choosing I remember was when I was eight. My best friend's big brother was chosen. We thought that he was safe, being the son of the Chief of Chiefs, but the sticks chose him nevertheless. He tried to escape, but was caught by many strong men in the outer circle.
Five years later a young woman from one of the other villages was chosen. She did not attempt to run, but her mother had to be restrained. I still remember her crying as her daughter was taken to the mountain.
Silence falls as the Chief of Chiefs begins to speak.
"The Mountain gives us food! The Mountain gives us health! The Mountain gives us life! But life must be paid with life. We are gathered here to chose who will be given to the Mountain. Unless anybody volunteers to be chosen, I will casts the sticks until the choice is clear."
I step forward, "I ..."
My voice fails me, and I have to try again. "I ask to be chosen."
I hear my sister scream, and see those around her hold her back. She quickly calms down.
"Aya, why do you do this? This is not like you," the Chief says.
I wipe away the tears that run down my face.
"I have no choice. For three nights, the Mountain has spoken to me in my dreams and told me to do this. I do not want it, and when I saw the fire this morning, I admit that I considered running to the coast. I wanted to steal a boat and sail away. But I cannot sail a boat alone, and I am not foolish enough to believe that I can escape an angry god. So I have no choice."
The Chief looks at me with pity in his eyes, but I also see relief that the burden of choosing has been taken from him.
"Then Aya it is. She is the chosen one. Let her be taken to the summit and cast into the fire."
"I ask for one thing," I say, sobbing. "I did not run this morning, I will not run now. Do not tie my hands, let me walk up the mountain myself. And when we reach the crater, let me jump. If my courage fails, those who accompany me must do what they must do. But give me a chance to jump first."
"So be it," the Chief announces.
An escort is quickly chosen, and I prepare to leave. I look at Mori, and begin to cry uncontrollably. I will die without having seen how an adult man looks between the legs! No, I should not lie to myself today. I cry because I will die without having seen how
Mori
looks between the legs. Without having touched him, and been touched by him!
We leave, and begin the long walk up the mountain. Five strong men escort me. I am not bound, but they walk in front of me and behind, there is no way I could run away. Where would I run, anyway?
I have stopped crying when we reach the crater. Heavy fumes rise from it, but fortunately the wind blows it away from us. Even when the mountain does not erupt, the light crater smoke will make you cough. I doubt that one could breathe this smoke and live.
The others stand back respectfully as I walk to the crater's edge. Far below, I can see an orange lake of bubbling lava. Even at this distance, the heat is overwhelming. I step back. Then while I still have the courage, I run towards the crater and leap, hoping to avoid hitting the almost vertical inner walls of the crater.
I hit the lava face down.
The impact should have killed me. The heat certainly should have killed me, my clothes catch fire and burn to ashes in less than a second. The burning hot fumes that I inhale should have killed me. But I do not die. The pain of touching the glowing lava is intense, and I scream in agony. Soon I discover that I can block the pain, refuse to feel it. I still feel the burning heat of the lava, it is very unpleasant but I can refuse the actual pain. I look around.
I am floating on an orange-yellow lake of molten lava. Close to me the surface explodes and large lumps of lava are thrown high into the air above me. A large blob hits my back as it falls back down. I have no doubt that the force should have broken every bone in my body. But still I do not die.
Then the surface explodes below me. I am thrown into the air, and splash down on my back. Now the surface is moving up, rapidly. The main eruption is beginning! I hope that my escort has had the sense to run away.
Moments later, the lava flows over the crater edge, and I with it. It runs quickly down the side of the mountain. Lava runs fastest near the surface of the stream and far from the sides (how do I know that?), and I am soon transported to the head of the lava flow, and fall down in front of the advancing lava. It immediately flows over me. The incredible weight of all this molten stone should crush me. The heat should burn me to ashes. The lack of air should suffocate me. It is highly unpleasant, but I do not die, and soon I rise through the molten lava to the surface.
To my horror I see that the lava is flowing down the wrong side of the mountain, towards the village! I can see my people fleeing in panic as the lava approach. Then I am once more at the head of the lava flow, and once more I am dumped in front of it, run over, crushed, burned and suffocated.
When I reach the surface, I can see that the lava has begun flowing into the depression in front of the village, forming a lake of lava where we all stood not that long ago. Behind me, I notice that there is not that much lava coming, the main lava flow is after all on the back of the Mountain, as it should be.
I enter the depression in front of the village, and the lava slows down as it spreads out. Soon the flow stops, just before the front of the lava reaches the first houses in the village. No more lava is flowing into the depression.