Building Robot Lovers

They called it Orgasm Mission Control. An entire bank of holographic screens and terminals at US Expandable Men had been allocated for this important event, what would hopefully be the success of an Erobot on a real world mission. To succeed, Hans would have to bed Annika, and give her an orgasm.

"This is Orgasm Mission Control," said the voice of the controller. "Do you copy, Hans?"

"I copy," came Hans' deep voice. Hans was already on his date with Annika, eating dinner and laughing at a little joke she was making about a loose bikini bottom she wore one time in Jamaica. Of course, Annika couldn't hear Hans's voice, not the internal voice he used to communicate with Orgasm Mission Control.

"Hans, this is Orgasm Mission Control. Let's do a run through of basic systems. CPU?"

"Green."

Beep.

"Emotion Plate?"

"Green."

Beep.

"Penis head?"

"Green."

Beep.

"Shaft?"

"Green."

Beep.

"Erection injectors?"

"Green."

Beep.

"Left Testicle?"

"Green."

Beep.

"Right Testicle?"

"Yellow."

Beep.

"Hold," said Orgasm Mission Control.

"Sir, we have a yellow warning light on the right testicle," said one of the technicians.

"What is it?"

"I'm not sure. It could be a false warning. Or it could be a hairline crack in the Gellax. Or even a short."

"Punch up a schematic."

An image of the inner wirings and hydraulic systems of Hans' penis appeared on the main holoviewer. For several moments the techs studied the display, looking for faults.

The technicians huddled together for several minutes, staring at the schematic of Han's penis, before one of them said, "I don't see anything," said a technician. "It must be a false reading, or a hairline crack in the Gellax."

"Can we proceed?" Control asked. "Let's work the problem, peeee-ple!" Control added, in a very homosexual voice.

"If we cut the flow of sperm from the right testicle, and he draws only from the left, I think he can complete the mission," said the tech.

"But she will only get half the sperm," said Control. For all practical purposes it didn't matter, of course, as it wasn't even real sperm; but Doctor Malthus wanted the experiment to be as realistic as possible.

"We can increase left testicle sperm production 50%," said the tech. "That will bring us right up to the red line, but I think he can handle it."

"Agreed," said Control. "Hans, this is Orgasm Mission Control. We have a yellow warning light on your right testicle, repeat, a yellow warning light on your right testicle. It may be nothing, but when you have intercourse, draw sperm only from your left testicle. Do you copy?"

"Roger, Orgasm Mission Control, I copy that," said Hans. "Left testicle only."

Beep.

"This is your big night, Doctor Dickens," said Doctor Malthus. "Are you excited?"

"Very," said Susan. She felt tense, and with good reason; if there was a problem or a failure of any kind, she would be the first to be blamed, and she knew it.

Sylvie and the other Testers had been invited to Orgasm Control for the occasion. Sylvie wrapped an arm around Susan. "Don't worry, he can do it. He's banged me plenty of times without cracking anything."

Susan gave a weak smile. She saw Mr. Duffy talking to Perry Jensen, the Chief Programmer. She saw Alicia, standing alone and looking uncomfortable.

Of course. She's never made any friends here, no friends except-

But Erobots were not allowed in Orgasm Mission Control.

Brady was there too, standing and chatting with Ming Koh, who was wearing some kind of sparkling dress which Brady was sure to rip off her later that evening. Susan tried to tell herself that she shouldn't be unkind. Brady hadn't done anything wrong. He had just picked a slut and a whore over-

"Orgasm Mission Control, this is Hans. Request permission for EVA."

Beep.

Susan looked up at the screen. Hans was in bed with Annika, kissing and hugging her. Where had the time gone?

"Hans, this is Orgasm Mission Control. Request for EVA is granted, I say again, EVA is go," said the voice of Control.

Mr. Duffy came over and touched Susan by the arm. "Just think, Susan, in moments, you're going to make history."

Yes, but what kind of history?

Susan wondered.

Hans pulled off his pants, revealing his penis. He was already erect, as Annika would expect.

Annika gasped. "You're huge."

"I'll feel even bigger when I am inside you," said Hans, with his relentless Austrian accent.

"No!" Annika cried.

"Yes," said Hans, pressing his lips against hers.

Susan felt a little uncomfortable as she watched Annika struggle against Hans. "Doctor Malthus, we should abort."

"Wait," said Doctor Malthus, with a sparkle in his eye.

Susan watched Annika continue to struggle. "Doctor Malthus!"

"Wait, I said!" he snapped.

And then Susan saw it. Annika's struggles changed into something else. She moaned, and wrapped her arms around Hans bare back. "Ooooh, oh Hans," she said.

Hans smiled (I Will Fuck You Smile Number Three) and raised himself up.

"Orgasm Mission Control, this is Hans. Requesting permission to launch."

Beep.

"This is Orgasm Mission Control. You have permission to launch. Countdown, T minus five... four... three...."

Hans lifted himself up and aimed his penis at Annika's vagina. Her pubic hair, unlike the blonde hair on top of her head, was a dark brown.

"Two... one... ignition."

Hans inserted his penis into Annika's vagina. The crowd in Orgasm Mission Control cheered.

"Don't get cocky!" Doctor Malthus shouted. "Continue to man your posts."

A new image appeared on the holoscreens, side by side with the image of Annika. It was a biometric scan of Annika's body.

"This is Orgasm Mission Control. Target is at 20% of Orgasm Escape Velocity. 21% and accelerating."

"I copy, Orgasm Mission Control," came Hans' voice.

Beep.

Hans pounded Annika tightly with his large robotic penis. Annika moaned with pleasure. She had never had sex with a man who was so muscular, so big before. Hans' body was like a dream come true.

Hans made rapid progress.

But then a warning light came on.

"Hans, this is Orgasm Mission Control. We have a yellow warning light on your penis heat shield. I repeat, a yellow warning light on your penis heat shield. Lower your angle of reentry to reduce friction pressure on the head of your penis."

"Roger, Mission Control."

Beep

.

"Do you think he'll burn up on one of his reentries?" Doctor Malthus asked.

"Not if he keeps the angle of reentry below 50 degrees," said Mission Control.

A moment later Control spoke again.

"This is Orgasm Mission Control," came the voice of Control. "You are now at approximately 60% Orgasm Escape Velocity."

"I copy that, Orgasm Mission Control," Came Hans' voice.

Beep.

"Hans, your rate of orgasm ascent is starting to slow. Gently bite down and suck on her nipples."

"Copy that."

Beep.

The image of Annika's breasts appeared close up on the holoscreen. Hans started to suck them vigorously. Annika groaned again as lust pervaded her body.

"This is Orgasm Mission Control. We estimate you are now at 85% Orgasm Escape Velocity. Orgasm is imminent. I repeat, orgasm is imminent. Activate lateral penis stabilizer for smoother strokes, and prepared to ejaculate."

"Copy that, Orgasm Mission Control. Preparing to ejaculate."

Beep.

Mr. Duffy took Susan's hand. "It's about to happen Susan! It's going to work."

Susan gave a weak smile.

It was all too much for Annika. Hans' sexy body, the way he dominated her so thoroughly, his large penis... she came harder than she had in years. "Ooooooooh!" she cried out as she climaxed.

Alarm bells went off in Orgasm Mission Control. Everyone cheered as Hans, realizing he had fulfilled the Second Law of Erobotics, was preparing a massive orgasm of its own. Two fire control officers each held a special key in their hands.

"Hans, this is Orgasm Mission Control, prepare for Ejaculation, on my mark, five, four, three, two, one... Mark!" The two fire control officers turned their keys simultaneously, and several things happened at once. Hans's Emotion Plate registered a tremendous surge of joy, and his robotic penis ejaculated, filling Annika with a small pool of very edible sperm from his left testicle. The mission was a success!

The staff at US Expandable Men went wild. Many of the people in the room had worked on the project for over two years. Even the Testers, who had been with the company a much shorter time, had worked very intensively to make this magical moment happen. People hugged and kissed each other.

Gretchen gave Susan an incredible hug and said, "Congratulations, dear!" and Sylvie actually kissed Susan on the lips. Susan looked shocked and Sylvie grinned.

Then Alicia came forward and hugged her, a bit sedately. A little too sedately. "I told you you would do it, Sister," she said, whispering in her ear.

It seemed everyone wanted a piece of Susan at that moment. Brady congratulated her, and Ming Koh, and Abby, and Perry Jenson, and Max Luchenko, and even staff people Susan didn't really know.

And then there was Doctor Malthus. "Congratulations, Doctor Dickins."

"Thank you, Doctor Malthus," said Susan calmly.

"You don't seem very emotional at this great moment," said Doctor Malthus.

"I pride myself on being cool and collected, Doctor Malthus," said Susan.

"Perhaps so. Or perhaps you realize, more than anyone else in the room, that this is only one test, the first test of many, and that many more will be needed to verify the abilities of the Erobots," said Doctor Malthus.

"Well, of course," said Susan. "Once this test is concluded."

"This test

is

concluded, Susan," said Doctor Malthus.

Susan's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that Hans has shown that he can have sex with Annika Hansen and give her an orgasm. Once he's done it once, there's no need to prove he can do it again. Not with her, anyway."

"But...." Susan felt butterflies forming in her stomach. "Isn't it more than just about the sex? Don't you want to see if he can form a stable relationship with her?"

Doctor Malthus waved a hand dismissively. "All unnecessary. Once a woman gives in and lets a man have sex with her, the balance of power immediately shifts to the man. At that point the woman wants to continue to have a relationship, and it is up to the man to decide whether to continue it. Hans would be able to continue with Annika Hansen. There is no need to waste the time and resources to prove it."

"So he's just going to... break it off with her?" Susan asked.

"He already has," said Doctor Malthus.

Susan, looking up at the big holoscreen with a shock, saw Hans driving back to US Expandable Men in his rented grav car.

"But... what about Annika's feelings?"

"Immaterial. She was a test subject."

"But... the idea behind this project, behind this whole project, was to create companions for lonely people. How does that square with seducing a woman and then leaving her without explanation?"

Now it was Doctor Malthus's turn to narrow his eyes. He ran his hand over his short curly hair in an impatient way. "Really, Doctor Dickins, you are the last person I would have suspected of being guilty of sentimentality. The larger issue we need to discover is whether the success we had here tonight can be replicated on a larger scale. If we stopped to let our Erobots build a relationship with each woman we bedded, it would take years to discover that. You see that, don't you?"

"I suppose," said Susan.

"Yes, Annika may be confused or even hurt for a few days. But then she'll log onto P into V a few days later and find another male to fill her void," said Doctor Malthus, with more than a bit of sarcasm. "Now we both have a busy day ahead of us, so do I need to continue to stroke your ego or explain the nature of reality to you any more explicitly?"

"No, Doctor Malthus."

"Then good night... and congratulations."