Chapter 16
Weeks flew by, like storm clouds from the Inner Sea. My work at the plantation was completed relatively quietly. I wasn't able to find any further leads on whomever was spreading the contagion, but that was hardly a surprise. The information I had found was alarming enough. Surprising to me, both Myta and I showed physical signs of our work in her inner world. Her collar appeared on her physical body, manifesting as a tattoo or birthmark, as did the seal on my palm. This also explained to me how her body had healed to its 'ideal' state during her physical recovery. It had conformed to her self-image. Given that her pubic hair had shifted to match what I'd given her in that space, I couldn't help but wonder at the implications and possibilities.
Once I'd finished at the plantation, we continued to travel along my regular route. Visiting more holdings and nameless towns as the weather grew warmer, and more humid. Bani was the balmiest of Ramana's districts, and I tried to spend the summers there, despite how oppressive it could get. Many of the medicinal plants I acquired there were at their most potent after the spring rains, and the goats wouldn't be so miserable because they had their lighter coats.
Whatever seal we'd uncovered within Myta's spirit made her absurdly easy to train. I could simply control her mana long enough to show her how to use it, rather than laboriously explaining theories she would then have to fumble her own way through. I prioritized the skills I felt would be of greatest practical value when facing a demon, or sorcerer. Opening her spiritual eye was the easiest, although it took her as much time as anyone else to adjust to the new sense. As I'd expected, she was a natural at physical enhancement, teaching her restraint and mana conservation when using it took longer. Her aspect of flame allowed her to put on incredible bursts of speed and strength. Endurance, resistance, and grace were harder.
"Why am I staring at a lamp?" Myta asked me, her voice the closest I'd heard to irritation since we'd accepted each other. It had been three weeks since we'd left the plantation, and I was ready to push her training past her immediate strengths.
"Fire isn't just fast and violent." I told her, not looking up from the salve I was assembling. "It can be controlled and graceful, a thing of gentle beauty."
Her lips quirked. "A lovely flame, hmm? I don't really see it, master. It's still just sitting there, eating up oil and waiting to burn you, or die away."
I grunted in frustration. The fact that she was talking about herself, as much as the lamp, wasn't lost on me. I thought it was actually a testament to her growing trust in me that these thoughts came to the surface, but she wouldn't, or couldn't, share the root of her concern. I wanted to give her the time and support to sort through her increasingly self-deprecating thoughts, but currently it was interfering with her advancement.
"Let's try something else," I said. I extinguished the lamp, and moved to sit behind her. "Close your eyes, and try to remember a time when you were young, when you felt warm and secure, and safe."
"Master, that isn't..."
"Close. Your. Eyes." Myta, I had found, responded better when I gave her firm instructions. It want that she was unable, or unwilling to follow directions. She just wanted to be told, to have clear boundaries and guidance. "Don't push for a memory; just imagine that you are warm, safe, and loved. You are young, and there is a comforting presence somewhere nearby. Just breathe, and sink into that feeling. Warm. Safe. Loved."
I felt her mind begin to still, as I repeated my words, keeping my voice soft and soothing. I began running my fingers through her hair. This was a little bit of a gamble, but probably not much of one. From my initial visit to some of Myta's worse memories, I knew that her mother was not among them. The chance of her having at least one appropriate memory to focus on was high. Unless, of course, her mother was relegated to the very worst memories. The ones I hadn't seen yet.
Eventually, my redheaded warrior's breathing settled into a slow, deep rhythm. I felt the sensations I had described settle into her current mood. When I thought she was relaxed enough, I changed up my dialogue, combing her hair idly with my fingers.
"Now, do you know what's around you? Where you are, that feels so safe and warm?"
"Yes master." Her voice was distant, her focus clearly intense.
"Good. Is there a flame nearby?"
"Yes master." Her voice was still vague, but carried a little more certainty.
"Good, then focus on that flame. It shines with comfort and warmth. When you look at it, it dances gracefully. Playfully. Imagine the playful flame. It brings you light when the world is dark, keeps you warm when it's cold. It's beautiful."
"It is, master."
I put my hands on her shoulders, squeezing gently. "Good. Just keep focusing on that until I finish dinner. I'll let you know when it's time to stop."
Nodding mutely, Myta followed my instructions. I knew she was, because her emotions were pleasant and still. I could almost see her imagined flame dancing in the corner of my own eye. I finished my salve, and then prepared our dinner. My supplies were fortunately restored at this point, at least in terms of the items this region produced. Nuts, fruits, grains, and even oils and fats for producing my medicines. Soon I would cross the border to Bani, and there I could replenish almost everything else.
When I roused Myta from her meditation, she was slow, and almost groggy. Reminding me of someone mildly intoxicated. I hoped the relaxation would do her some good, in addition to helping expand her aspect of flame. If the rumors we'd been hearing were true, bandit attacks in the southern district were only increasing. We would need to be on our guard after crossing the border.
After our dinner of roasted boar and sautéed mushrooms, I watched as Myta performed her forms. Her motions were more fluid, they lacked the feeling of suppressed anger I often felt from her. It was an encouraging change. I didn't want her to lose her anger, I knew that it had kept her strong in the face of all that she had suffered. But I also knew that if she wanted to heal and grow, she needed to expand her emotional horizons. Well, restore them, really. I had the impression that she had been a fearless youth, excited and full of wonder. It was hard to see now, but I caught glimpses of it during our lessons on herb-lore or mana theory.
When she finished her spear forms, I came to an abrupt decision.
"You did well, my flame. Keep that grace, along with your usual fierceness, and you will quickly surpass most fighters that I have known." She glowed at my praise, but I could also feel her competitive spark awaken, and I smiled. "I want to share something with you. A form that is practiced by very few these days. It is known at the path of Inner Harmony, and it is not designed for combat, but for perfecting you mana control."
"A sorcerer's form?" She asked. "I'm not sure that I'm best suited to such a thing, master."
"Well, then I suppose you can fail to learn it, and prove that my trust is misplaced." I kept my voice dry and amused, but Myta flinched a tittle at my words. After a moment though, her face grew resolved, and I nodded in approval.
"Now, these forms are both physical and spiritual. As you make each motion, you must push your mana through the activated meridians. At the same time, you must condense your presence around them as well. This requires a great deal of control, but if you do it correctly you will refine your anima as you perform the forms. I will teach you only the forms that avoid your sickness, so we won't risk a repeat of the incident."
Over the next hour, I walked her through the first form, focusing much more on the motion of her spirit. Finding the correct balance of pressure within and without, and keeping the motion of internal and external mana even with one another, were the hardest aspects of the form. By the end of the hour Myta hadn't managed to perform even a single move successfully. I could feel her rising frustration, but I was delighted by the progress she has made. There was a reason Inner Harmony had never been widely practiced. Despite its benefits, most sorcerers found the form far too difficult to bother learning. It was akin to balancing atop a ball, which was resting atop another ball. A delicate and counterintuitive process, and not a terribly efficient way to travel.
"You did well," I told her. "And tomorrow you will do better. Be diligent, but also patient. It is a difficult skill to master."