© 2024 By James Maness Writing as SW MO Hermit
Alexander Thaddeus Young came awake with a groan when his younger sister slammed his bedroom door open and bounced on his bed. "Wake up, Thad," she screeched. "Mom has called you twice now. Your breakfast is getting cold, and you'll be late for school if you don't hurry. Thad groaned and pulled the covers over his head, only to have Gracie grab them and pull them down again.
Grace grinned and said, "Mom said I could throw cold water on you if you didn't get up. Please stay there and let me. That would be soooo cool!" Grace stood and ran out the door into their shared bathroom. Thad heard the water running in the sink and almost jumped from his nice, warm bed. When Grace returned to the bedroom with a glass of water, she stopped upon seeing him standing, trying to pull a shirt over his head. "Oh, poo," she said. "You're no fun.
On her way back to the kitchen, Grace detoured through the bathroom to pour out the water and return the now-empty glass.
After dressing, Thad almost stumbled into the bathroom, did his business, and dragged his still-sleepy body into the kitchen. Dammit, it was his birthday. He turned 18 today. There should be a law that says you could sleep in and miss school on your birthday. Thankfully, there was a steaming cup of coffee beside his milk and a breakfast plate when he sat in his usual seat at the table. He grabbed the coffee and drank almost half the cup before diving into his eggs, ham, and hash browns. Within five minutes, he was done and ready to roll. Now, he wished he'd not spent so long gaming with his friends last night when he was supposed to be sleeping.
He arrived at school much later than usual and had to park on the back side of the lot. Those watching him cross the nearly full student parking lot saw an already disheveled young man with unkempt hair and dark circles under his eyes. He was dressed much like the other male and some female students in faded denim jeans and a T-shirt.
Thad approached a few friends standing outside the old brick school building. They yelled greetings at him, and the three who had been his teammates the night before in the RPG gave him high fives. "Hey, Wiz," Donnie yelled. "We cleaned their clocks last night, Dude. Where did you come up with that cool confusion spell? Man, it saved the day!"
Before Thad could answer, the first warning bell sounded, and everyone outside turned to rush into the building. Like most schools, the hallway was packed with students rushing to class. Don didn't have homeroom with Thad, so he couldn't answer his question because they turned in opposite directions as soon as they entered the hallway.
The day dragged on. Thad didn't think it would ever end, but finally, the final bell rang, and he could go home. He couldn't tell you one thing he heard in class, and his notes were so sketchy as to be useless. He sat almost comatose in the local burp-and-slurp, a mom-and-pop fast food joint where the kids hung out. Burp-and-Slurp was the kid's name for the place. Many didn't even know the actual name, and those who did never used it.
After spending a few minutes with his friends, he returned home and went straight to his room, not even grabbing a snack like usual. He was supposed to study when he got home but fell asleep lying on his bed, trying to read one of his assignments. Thankfully, his mother and Gracie entering the house from the garage awakened him, and he was pretending to read when his mother stuck her head into his room.
The evening dragged on, and, to his family's surprise, Thad headed to his room and went to bed at 2100. He fell into a deep sleep until a dream began. The dream was very explicit, the clearest and most detailed he had ever had. He was in a classroom with several other people.
Methuselah, himself, was lecturing them. He said, "Hello, everyone. Welcome. Today, you all attained the age of majority and are ready to don the mantle of your profession. You are wizards. Wizards of love."
The noise in the classroom rose to an almost unbearable level before dropping off again. It was with some effort that Methuselah finally returned order to the room. He continued speaking after the customary classroom deportment was restored. "Yes, I know this surprises you all, and many of you may question the fact. How you use your ability is up to you, but you all come from a long line of Wizards of Love. This may become your vocation or avocation, as you choose.
"My friends, for such is what I hope to be to you all, we have much to cover this night. Every day, year after year, on the night of their 18th birthday, I am tasked by Aphrodite, Cupid, Ishtar, Freyja, Eros.... That's enough name-dropping. I'm sure you get the idea. Each and every one of the Deities responsible for Love and Sex has tasked me and others with educating you this night. You will be given the basics of your abilities before you are returned to your homes, where you will begin your work.
"Again, how you use your ability is up to you. Hopefully, you will use it wisely, but some do not. Many of those labeled as 'Players' in your society are your older peers. Some of those who ply their trade as Escorts are also Wizards of Love. Now, let us begin."
The class, for that is what it was, began immediately and progressed like many other lectures they had heard in the past. Methuselah droned on and on as the day progressed. It seemed this was an introduction with more in-depth instruction to follow. Still, based on the clock over the whiteboard behind Methuselah, they had been in class for almost eight hours when he said, "I think that's enough for today. You have the basics. We'll continue tomorrow. If you'll follow Jazzy (a sprite)," he said while gesturing to a young being standing in the doorway, "she'll lead you to the cafeteria and after you've eaten, to your dormitory. Have a good evening."
One of the young ladies yelled, "Wait! I can't stay here all night. My parents will freak out! What if they've already missed me?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, Sally. Did you miss the information on your course of study? Were you not paying attention..."
He stopped talking when he heard Jazzy giggle before she flew into the room and landed on his desk. He bent down, and she whispered into his ear before he stood and said, "I AM sorry. Jazzy tells me we have not covered time dilation today. I usually let you know we move through time at a different rate here in our realm. Your training will take several days subjectively but will last only for a few moments for the remainder of the world. You will only be gone from your prior location for the blink of an eye. Should someone look at wherever you were before you came here, they would never notice you had disappeared and reappeared. Now, if that is all, please enjoy the remainder of your evening and be back here at eight tomorrow morning."
Jazzy's wings began humming, and she gracefully rose into the air. Her melodious voice rang throughout the room as she said, "Please follow me. We'll have a short social hour before our repast, and then I'll guide you to the dormitory. You can gather in a comfortable common room while you reside there. Snacks and drinks will be provided as well."
The group of young wizards was much quieter than a typical group of kids getting out of school for the day. Almost all you heard while they walked down the hallway was their footsteps. Soon, they entered what appeared to be a typical lunchroom, the same room they'd eaten in during their lunch break. This time, they walked through the line to pick up drinks and order their meals instead of finding a seat, each receiving the same burger and fries as they did at lunch.
Thad found himself nearly bouncing impatiently, waiting for those ahead to order. It seemed they took forever to read the overhead menu and order. At least the ordering went fast after they decided. They ordered each meal by number, and no substitutions were allowed. When Thad stepped up where he could see the menu and order, he stopped in shock. Now he understood why it took so long. The selection was awesome! He had a choice of almost any high-class, luxury meal possible. There was Prime Rib and all the fixings, Crab legs, Lobster, Shrimp, fish, and numerous French, Italian, Mexican, and dishes from almost any country or region worldwide. He, too, had to stand several moments before deciding and ordering.
After each student ordered, they took their drink and found a seat. While they waited for their meals, the conversation flowed. It started slowly, with just one or two people at a table or neighboring table beginning to talk, but soon, almost everyone was talking, and the noise level rose until some had trouble hearing the person they were talking to.
Thad heard and felt his stomach growl and wished his meal would arrive. He then wondered how they would know who ordered what and if he had to pick it up or if it would be delivered as was lunch. Before he could voice his question to those at his table, everyone's meal, cutlery, napkins, and drink refill appeared before them. Many exclamations of surprise reverberated through the room before the voices died out and eating sounds could be heard. One of the boys he hadn't met yet grinned and said, "Cool. Just like the dining room at Hogwarts."
Thad, and from the looks of others' faces, they, too, were amazed by the last of the food. Almost the only comment after the first bite was along the line of 'OMG. This is sooooo GOOD!' As always, some people ate faster than others. As soon as they emptied their plates, they disappeared. When several were done, Jazzy rose and said, "Those of you who are finished and want to go to your dorm now, please move to the door. I'll guide you and return for the others. For those of you still eating or chatting, there is no hurry. Take as long as you want. I'll return soon."
Jazzy made three trips to guide everyone to their rooms. Before she left after her last trip, she said, "I'll return at 0700 tomorrow to guide you to breakfast and back to the classroom. Have a good evening."
Some of the newly minted wizards disappeared into their rooms, but most remained in the common room and broke into small groups to chat. One of the first things they discussed was their hometown. They were all from North America, and only the largest cities had more than one representative. New York and the Los Angeles metroplex had two each. Most came from cities several hundred miles apart, but Thad was from Springfield, MO, and Sally hailed from Branson, MO.
Sally, Thad, Rachel (from Columbia, MO), and Roger (Bentonville, AR) gathered in a conversational nook. After learning more about each other, Rachael said, "Do you believe all this? I mean, come on. Magic?"
Thad said, "I don't know. How can we know? Are we all dreaming? This is the longest and most interactive dream I've ever had if it is a dream."
Sally said, "What else could it be? Have we all been drugged and kidnapped? Are they planning to, I don't know, turn us into sex slaves or something?"
Roger chugged the remainder of his Silver Bullet (Coors Light beer), grinned, burped, and said, "Who cares? If it's a dream, it sure is a good one so far, and if it's the other, right now, we can't do anything about it. What if it's true? Can you imagine all the pussy..." he blushed and looked at the two ladies before continuing, "I mean sex we could get if it is true? Come on. Admit it. We're all about to get out of high school, and I bet none of us are cherry. I wouldn't be surprised if we were all more interested in sex than our peers."
Thad laughed and replied, "Got it in one, I think."
