"Well then!" said Hugh, vigorously shaking Will inside the carriage as it bounced down the street. "We all got a good gander at the matriarch of the Lamb family last night! You dog, you!"
"Oh, enough of that," said Will, pushing him off and sitting back in his seat. He looked outside, watching the town of Ryebury pass by. It was a lovely day outside, if a bit muddy from the previous night's rain.
But even Nicholas had a big smile on his face. "Dominique Lamb has enormous tits," he simply said, like a rare brand of idiot.
"Yes, yes, I know that," said Will.
"And you got to dance with her."
"I know that too. And remember, she lives up to every rumor about her. She's a mean-spirited, cruel woman. Every moment spent with her is misery, you can trust me on that."
Hugh leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms, a strange smile on his face. "Ah, what a woman she is. But yes, you're right. Not even
I'm
bold enough to try to pull anything with her. I hear she's sent men to the gallows, the dungeons, the stocks, just for looking at her wrong. Still though. Those tits. That ass. Such perfection."
Will gave them a flabbergasted face. "Pshaw! Even not considering her rude personality, she is anything but perfect. It's the same old story with you two. She's completely off-putting. Her breasts are grotesque. Her dresses are obscene. She is anything but appealing to me."
Hugh shook his head. "You're a strange one, Will."
"Anyway, I should be focusing on Edith. Last night went well with her. And here we are. So well we're now having lunch. I'm afraid this is the end of the road for you two jesters. We've arrived at Lamb Manor."
His friends laughed as they disembarked outside the gates, and Will was taken within. The house had been an empty one for a while, its previous owners gone bankrupt from a series of poor crops and bad investments. Apparently they bought copious amounts of books to resell just before the printing press was invented. But now the building was freshly minted as Lamb Manor, and Will took a moment to admire its tall, gothic spires and dark windows before knocking on the door.
Servants answered, and Will kept the rose he brought with him hidden behind his back. He was led into the house, down old hallways and into a drawing room.
Today was going to be a great one. Lunch had been scheduled with Edith. And even better, Holy Mother Wentworth, a high-ranking member of the church, obviously, would be chaperoning them instead of Edith's mother.
When he saw Edith's face, both of them lit up in a smile. Will revealed his rose, and Edith clapped her hands with glee. "A rose!" she said, then immediately caught herself. "Oh, I apologize. So unseemly of me. It's just, I don't believe I've ever been given a rose before."
"Never?" asked Will. "Well that's just a tragedy. You should be given a rose on every day of the week."
She blushed, smelling the lush, red petals. "Here, I'll put these in a vase immediately." She made to move, then stopped, laughing nervously again again. "Oh, I forgot." She put forward her hand. Will took it, stooping to kiss it. He loved that part. Her hand was so dainty and tiny, especially compared to her mother's.
Will watched her place the flowers in an empty vase on a nearby table. "So where is Holy Mother Wentworth?" he asked.
"
Busy
," spat a voice from behind.
Will flinched to see the one woman in the world he didn't want to see.
Countess Lamb.
She was dressed more similarly to their first meeting. Less jewels, and a bit less support for her breasts compared to her ball gown, so they weren't so high-sitting as before. They rested down onto her stomach. Her dress still had that dangerously high slit, however, revealing her long legs.
"Oh," said Will, and began stuttering. Panic coursed through him. A strange combination of several emotions, including fear, shame, and nervousness.
"If you're wondering where Mother Wentworth is," said Countess Lamb, "an unfortunate case of demonic possession has occurred in the poor distract of your...
town
. She had to assist the priest there in the exorcism, so understandably won't be available to chaperon your lunch with my daughter. Thankfully, I am available to fill in."
"Of course," said Will, shaking his head and smiling like an idiot. "You know how these demon possessions go. Can't keep a good exorcist down."
"Hmph. Indeed." Countess Lamb looked just as dismissive and judgmental as ever, staring down her regal nose with narrowed blue eyes.
"Oh!" said Will, stepping forward and reaching his hand out for hers in way of formal greeting. "I haven't forgotten this time."
"Why Prince Hardwood," said Countess Lamb. "We're still at a formal kiss to the fingers in greeting? We've grown close enough for the more proper greeting, don't you believe?"
And just like that, she had moved forward, standing tall over him, dwarfing him. She stooped, and quickly placed two small kisses on his cheeks, one on either side of his lips.
Technically, it was his first kiss.
Her lips were full and thick, far more than Edith's were. There was a distinct warmth to them as well. A softness. Will worried he might be blushing.
But still, despite the softness, it also felt like getting kissed by a hungry lion, liable to pounce and rip off a head whenever it wanted.
"Yes, well," said Edith, coming back from the table. "Mother has promised to be nice. Haven't you mother?"
"I always am," she said.
Will coughed.
"So then," said Edith. "Lunch isn't quite ready just yet, so we'll have some tea here in the drawing room first. You do like tea, yes?"
"Oh, of course," said Will. "Love tea, can't get enough of it. Sometimes I just drink it all day."
"Wonderful." Edith smiled and clapped her hands together. "I'll just be back in a moment. It should be ready in the kitchens. I know servants usually handle this kind of thing, but I never did like relying on them. Besides, we did travel light, and haven't fully moved much staff over. So I'll be back in just a moment."
"Of course," said Will, nodding as she left.
And then he was alone with Countess Lamb.
He couldn't look her in the eye. Or the tits. But he also couldn't simply say nothing. Guilt was eating him up inside.
"Look," he said, his voice lowered. "I...well, I'm absolutely sorry. I apologize profusely for what happened last night. That's never happened before. It was a complete and total accident. I was nervous, you see. Because of the ball, because of meeting your daughter. And I truly am a terrible dancer, I know. But still, even all that, what I did was completely uncalled for. I do so hope you understand it was a complete and total accident. A misunderstanding."
Finally, he looked up at Countess Lamb.
She simply tilted her head a bit, her face flat and unreadable.
