The Non-Standard Man

Roger sat beside me in the limo on the way back from my old offices deep in thought. I sat there, hands on my knees staring ahead going over the next part of my plans in my head. We were sharing the same space but couldn't be farther apart.

"I do love him," Roger said suddenly. "I never thought I'd say that about anyone. He's just so-" His voice trailed off.

How does one respond to that? Long ago I put a space between what I thought of Roger from my feelings about him. Or at least I thought I did. There was a place in my heart where I always felt responsible for him. And just as Roger said to Jason about me, I liked Roger. Not the irresponsible, horrible husband Roger, but the charming, slightly sweet man that spent more time hurting himself than anyone else. But that wasn't enough on which to base a marriage.

"He cute," I said. "And smart. And he's got this 'I'm going to take care of my shit regardless' attitude that's charming. And I'm glad for you."

"You are?" Roger sounded surprised and grateful too.

"Of course I am. Damn it, Roger, we aren't good as husband and wife, but you are, you've always been, my best friend, even if there were stretches you were a total shit about it."

He took my hand and squeezed it.

"Where do we go from here?"

I shrugged. "What do you want, Roger?"

He looked out the window as the streets of Washington slid past.

"If I could, I'd marry him."

I patted his hand.

"We'd have to change law for that to happen, some pretty set-in-stone-or-the-whole-of-civilization-will-crumble law."

He sighed.

"I know."

"But there is one thing we can go for."

"What?" he said still staring out of the window.

"An annulment."

"What?" His head snapped back and he looked me in the eye.

"I looked up the law a while back. There wasn't good reason then, but I think we've got a good case for it now. Especially if your male lover is willing to step up and give testimony."

"What? You want to out me, out Jason, Evaline?" His voice carried a slight edge of panic.

"No, not like that not. Not to punish you. Jesus, don't you think its time we all stop telling lies? Some people are gay. Big fucking deal."

"Oh, Evaline. That's a shit storm right there."

"Well, maybe its time for a shit storm, Roger. Look, it's right there in the Fourth Amendment, "The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures shall not be violated'-. It's the basis for our right for privacy. What we do in our homes should be sacred, as long as we aren't hurting other people."

"Yeah, along with 'life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.'" He sounded bitter. "Only you, Evie, would look at those words in that way. Not that I disagree with you, but the courts see things in a much more narrow way."

"No, think of it. We'll be a sensation. The law firm of Shipley and Shipley, trailblazing new law with the first openly gay partner in twenty years." I bumped his shoulder playfully to pull him out of his funk.

"Uh huh," he replied.

"We could," I said with my next wicked thought, "move to Los Angeles. Practice entertainment law. Betcha there are lots of gays there needing representation."

He groaned. "My mother would be horrified."

"Good," I said."I'd like nothing better."

"You're incorrigible. And what about our daughter? How is she going to feel with having an openly gay father?"

"Maybe better about it than a father hiding in the closet. We are who we are, Roger, and the poor kid will have to deal with it. But as long as we love her, and are honest with her, how far wrong can we go?"

He snorted. "She's got two strikes against her before coming into this world. You and me."

I chuckled. "You're right there."

"Don't you think," he said, "we should get you clear of these felony charges before we make new law?"

"Pragmatic."

"Damn right."

"So? The annulment?"

"I'll think about it, Evie."

"That's all I can ask."

#

There were two, no make it three, nasty surprises waiting for us at my apartment when we arrived. The first was a letter with a return address of the Department of the Interior. The second and third were the staid faces of Agents Green and Pataski. Andrew stood between them, his wrists handcuffed, acting as passive as I instructed him. Seeing this, I knew what was in the envelope.

I gripped Roger's arm. I knew this was coming, but now that the moment was here my knees got weak.

"Steady," Roger breathed in my ear.

"Mrs. Shipley," said Agent Green. "We have a warrant to confiscate your robot."

"Seems," Agent Pataski sneered, "The Secretary of the Interior denied your petition."

I had a hard time breathing. Roger held me up.

"Roger," I said.

Roger let go of my arm and opened the briefcase, fishing out another file and handed it to Agent Green.

"Consider yourselves, and the RIB served. We are filing suit against you and the RIB."

"Suit? What for?"

"For malicious prosecution, and damaging my personal property. That little virus your people injected into him nearly terminated him."

"He's not your robot, anymore," spat Pataski.

"We'll see you in court. And he better be unharmed."

"Are you threatening us?"

"Yes." I hissed. "Andrew, I'll see you soon."

"Yes, Mistress," he said blandly, just as we discussed.

#

We were now forced to challenge the RIB for Andrew's custody. Not that we didn't expect to, but no one was making it easy for us.

The quickest we could secure a court date for an emergency hearing was two weeks. That was with Roger and me spending every favor either one of us had with the Washington justice elite. But time was of the essence. Despite my suit against the RIB, which in effect was a warning to keep their hands off my robot, I couldn't be sure if they would experiment on him. My anxiety shot through the roof, and the only thing that kept me sane was working on my court room strategy.

During that time the results came back from Lindsey Talbot's lab which proved what we suspected. The virus that was injected into Andrew was man-made. Tersa worked on connecting the dots between the virus and the RIB. It wasn't an easy job, and as she reminded me, it cost me plenty.

That was okay. As long as it was for Andrew.

While we waited, Roger and Jason took over my bed. We rented a double bed we set up in the living room for me. Maybe it was better that way, because I couldn't bear laying in my bed without Andrew there. The bed in the living room became a de-facto office, with my laptop, and pages of research stacked on the side closest the wall. Andrew made me promise I'd keep my feet up, and drink plenty of water while he was gone.

"I'm worried about these dizzy spells," he said the day before the RIB took him. "You shouldn't have them."

"The internet says it happens in early pregnancy."

"The internet is wrong. You need to see a human doctor."

"After all this is settled. I promise."

Still, drinking all the water Andrew demanded had a predictable effect, and I found myself sneaking past my own bed several times during the night to get to the bathroom. Often I'd see Jason and Roger tangled together sleeping. They both looked like angels in each other's arms. I think I fell in love then with the idea of Roger and Jason being together as they should be, unafraid and unashamed. If there was a way I could make that right, I'd do that too. Roger, however, wouldn't talk about the annulment, and the rest of that plan wouldn't work without it.

Andrew made both men promise to keep me fed, as if I wasn't interested in eating. My appetite was a rabid beast, which colluded with my spells of morning sickness to make me a very unhappy woman. Between wolfing down food, and hanging my head over the toilet my stomach commanded my life. It was awful, but not as bad as waiting for that court date-until I could see Andrew again.

Despite Priscilla's efforts, Sinta's arrest made headline news. Maybe someone leaked the information to the press, maybe someone who had the press corp hounding her door. Who knew? But Androdyne's stock tumbled to an abysmal level, prompting a call from my mother-in-law.

"What the hell, Roger!" said Raina, her manicured face filling my television screen. "What is going on?"

He shrugged. "Why should I know?"

"Do you know how much money I lost?"

"Why should I care? You've disinherited me."

"You know I had every intention-"

"Of what?" I said walking to stand behind the couch where Roger sat. "Restoring his inheritance when it suited you? To keep dangling it in front of him when you wanted something from him? God, it is a good thing that I've always taken care of him, because I'd hate to think of what would happen if Roger actually needed money. You are a stupid woman, Raina Shipley. It was never about the money for Roger. He did what you wanted because he wanted you to love him."

"What?" she sputtered. "I mean, of course I love my son."

"Really, Raina. You lie badly too."

"You really are unstable, you know that, Evaline. My lawyers are drawing up custody papers now for Roger's daughter. You'll be lucky to hold her after she's born."

"Don't call again, Raina," I said before I clicked off the call.

"Sorry, darling," said Roger. "Losing money does that to her."

"Don't make excuses for her bad behavior. You understand now why we need the annulment."

"Yes," he sighed.

"Why," said Jason coming from the bedroom, "do you need an annulment?"

"Married," said Roger, "by law, Evaline has to name me as the father. If we are not, she is free to name whoever she wants, if anyone."

"It makes it that much harder for Raina to claim kinship to our child.

"Especially if I refuse to take a paternity test."

"Custody will be tied up, probably for years," I said. "And the longer that goes on, the weaker Raina's case becomes."

"Yes," said Roger ruefully.

"Then let's do it," said Jason.

"You know what that means?" said Roger.

Jason flopped down next to Roger and threw his arm around him. "Exile from proper society? Living openly with the man I love? Geez, I don't see a downside here."

"You're reckless."

"Which is why I fell for you in the first place." He gave Roger a kiss on the lips, and I turned my back.

Damn, they were just so cute together.

#

Despite the utter civility of the courtroom, it was, in truth, a battlefield. Our expensive suits are our armor, our silk shirts, scarves and ties our flags of war, our briefcases the scabbards of our weapons. Our swords and spears are what pieces of law we could glean from past case law.

This is why some lawyers, like Roger, never argue cases. Roger was brilliant at remembering case law, and liked to put the pieces neatly together to form a cogent whole. But he wasn't good at what I excelled at, twisting and turning case law into arguments, going in for the kill.

For the first time in our marriage, Roger argued violently with me. He didn't agree with my strategy, which lay in proving that a sentient robot like Andrew posed no risk.

"You'll be incriminating yourself. You lose this battle and we'll lose everything. You should stick to Cicily's statements," he said. "They are recorded, and a judge made a ruling based on them."

It was the safe way to go, at least on the surface.

"Why do you think the RIB took Andrew in custody again?" I said. "Regardless of what they learned from him they will have 'experts' testifying to his sentience. Next thing you know they'll file charges of perjury against Cicily. No the best defense is a good offense."

As if I gleaned that information from a crystal ball, a few days before this hearing, Cicily's next phone call to Jason confirmed that the RIB arrested her again, this time in her jail cell for perjury.

"Don't worry, Cicily," I said to her at her arraignment on those charges. "We're going to make this goes away." But I spoke with more bravado than surety.

At the very least Roger was able to argue for a reasonable bail, and we got Cicily out of jail. We set her up with a round-the-clock security detail, to be on the safe side, and Jason sent her to his DC apartment.

But right now we sat, me, Roger and Betty in the Federal court to try to get Andrew back. Jason and Cicily sat in the back.

At the opposing counsel's table sat the prosecutor from our previous court date, Olivia Waters, and the lawyer I assumed was from the RIB, who we found from court documents was Anita Cornwall.

"All rise," said the bailiff.

The judge, Steffie Anderson, walked smartly up her chair. I noticed that her hair was unusually well-coifed, with a new cut and dye job, and her nails sported a crisp red. Everyone, I suppose wanted look good in front of the press.

The bailiff announced the case. We stood and introduced ourselves.

Judge Anderson looked us over.

"Well Ms. Shipley, you certainly believe in a speedy trial."

"Yes, your honor."

"And you Ms. Cornwall, are you prepared to present your case."

"Yes, your honor."

"Any motions before trial?"

"No, your honor," said Waters.

"No, your honor," I said.

"You sure, Ms. Shipley?"

Roger gave me a light kick with his shoe. The judge's question was unusual.

There were several items of debate between me and Roger. He wanted to move for a dismissal based on a lack of evidence. Maybe the judge's question was an indication of how she might rule. But she could return Andrew herself if she felt that strongly about it. But I felt strongly about this for another reason, I had to make my points, because I wasn't fighting for my property rights. I was fighting for Andrew.

"Yes, your honor."

"Opening statements then. Ms. Waters."

""Your honor," said Cornwall. "We believe the fact speak for themselves. We will prove Evaline Shipley was aware that her toybot purchase is sentient, and failed to report this to the RIB. Additionally, this toybot is dangerous, having assaulted to two RIB agents. The Andrew serial number XB109856 belongs in our custody and should be destroyed."

"Ms. Shipley," said the judge, her face looking down, supposedly at some papers.

I drew a deep breath. Here is where the shit hit the fan. It remained to be seen in which direction the fan would blow.

"Your honor, I stipulate to the prosecution's assertion that I did become aware of Andrew's sentience."

The courtroom became bedlam as the spectators made noisy comments. The judge banged her gavel.

"Order, or I will clear the courtroom," she said loudly. "Ms. Shipley, approach the bench."

All five of us, the prosecution, Roger and Betty approached the unhappy judge.

"What are you pulling here, Shipley?" she said.

"Your honor, I'm just trying to clear up this nonsense. The RIB and now the prosecution has been relentless in trying to separate me from my legally obtained toybot. And not for the reasons they state. If I'm to get them off my back then I need to take this as far as I can to prove that Andrew is not dangerous."

"Your honor, I move for summary judgement," said Waters. "She's proved our case."

"Denied, Ms. Cornwall. Ms. Shipley, despite her ill conceived admission, is allowed to argue her position whatever way she sees fit. Do you have anything more for your opening argument, Miss Shipley?"

"Yes, Your Honor."

"Proceed."

The judge looked annoyed and I didn't blame her. Her refusal right then not to pronounce judgement might cost her politically. On the other hand she was right about my rights.

"Your Honor, the prosecution's case is built on the assumption that sentient robots are dangerous. Certainly our own history tells us this is so. But were those robots truly sentient? How do we know? The problem lies in defining sentience in the first place. The second is in the procedures, quite horrible, quite cruel practices that according to experts you will hear, were the only way known, to up to now, to create sentience in a mechanical device. You will hear testimony that demonstrates the Andrew is the only fully sentient that ever existed, and how Andrew came to full sentience makes him safer to be around than my own mother. Therefore I trust your honor will find Andrew should be returned to me. Thank you, Your Honor."

"Ms. Waters, proceed."

We spent an hour where she attempted to trot out one witness after another, who became irrelevant when their purpose was to reveal Andrew's sentience. Because I already stipulated that Andrew was sentient, the judge didn't get to hear much of what Waters wanted her to hear, different parts of expert testimony that would damn me and Andrew. Watching Water's frustration grow was a thing of beauty. She then moved into trying to prove how I knew he was sentient.

Cornwall called Cicily to the stand. We expected this because Cicily was on the witness list. It was a dick move, more for show than substance.

Cicily mounted the witness stand. "State your name for the record," said the bailiff.

"Cicily Wells," she replied.

"And your address?"

She gave Jason's apartment.

"Do you promise to tell the truth, under pain of perjury."

"I do."

"Miss Wells, you previous testified that Andrew was not sentient when he left the Androdyne lab."

"On the advice of my attorney I refuse to answer on the basis that the answer may incriminate me."

Waters nearly huffed. In a jury trail such an answer might prod a jury to believe in a defendant's guilt, but with only the judge, the answer was mitigated by understanding of law.

"Was the robot sold to Evaline Shipley sentient when he was sold to Peck's?"

"On the advice of my attorney I refuse to answer on the basis that the answer may incriminate me."

"Your Honor, I submit that this witness is unduly influenced by a lawyer whose own representation of her is a conflict of interest."

"Your Honor, Cicily Wells asked for my representation, and did sign a waiver acknowledging a potential conflict."

"Ms. Wells, it may be in your best interest to retain separate counsel," said the judge.

"Your honor, I can't speak to the facts because of the charges against me, but I can say this. There is no one better to represent me, or Andrew, than Evaline Shipley."

#

Without much else, Wells moved into trying to prove how when I knew he was sentient, therefore setting up the argument as to when I should have reported Andrew to the RIB. Her strategy, it appeared, was to show that I knew right away. Waters tried to submit recordings of Andrew's and my interaction when I purchased him.

"Objection your honor," I said. "This is not best evidence."

"Of course it is," said Waters.

"No, it is not. I can't cross-examine it. Your honor, I submit the best evidence is the auto-attendant at Peck's that ratified the sale.

"Objection! Mechanical appliances cannot give testimony."

"Then why is it allowed to ratify a sale? It can speak to facts and answer questions."

"Ms. Shipley, you will address your comments to the court."

"Yes, your honor. I'm sorry. But there are precedents for non-humans to testify in court. In 2021, chimpanzees were allowed to testify in court using sign language to attest to their treatment during the animal testing of cosmetics."

"Objection over ruled, Ms. Waters. Procure the auto-attendant that proceeded over the sale to Ms. Shipley, and bring it here to court. I'll give you through the lunch recess to do that."

"Your honor," protested Waters.

"It's either that, or we'll toss this piece of evidence too. Which will you have?"

In the face of her thinning evidence Waters didn't have much choice.

"I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you, your honor," I said.

"Don't thank me, Ms. Shipley. You have a long way to go to prove your point."

She banged her gavel. "This court is in recess."

#