The Naed Weapon

A storm was brewing on the horizon. Vast clouds of roiling black clouds, shot through with lightning and spreading a shimmering haze of blazing hot rainfall. I had a sinking feeling that even a torrential downpour wouldn't do much to the muggy heat of Doyen Prime. However, that whole storm had

nothing

on the glare that was coming my way from Lt. Amelia.

Amelia had been the first person I had ever met when I had arrived at PsiCom. She was a nice person, and I had just...kind of put her into a really shitty position. My guts knotted with guilt and I looked down and away from her, rubbing the back of my neck. This was somewhat tricky, because Ali was currently kissing and nuzzling against me with a boundless excitement, her hands caressing me all over. She murmured. "You're alive, you're alive! You're

alive

."

I laughed. "Technically."

Amelia snapped her fingers. "Squaddie Hatem, explain to me

right

now what the flying

fuck

is going on."

I nodded. "Right."

The rain was sleeting over us - bubbling and hissing as it struck against the telekinetic field that most of the psions were able to throw up - by the time I was finished. "So, basically, I realized we had a shot at winning the war. Like, forever. Every minute we spend giving the Doyen and Dr. Jerkfuckface to rebuild is another minute for him to, oh, I don't know, point them towards Earth. We have to finish this. And we have to finish this

now

." I looked at Amelia. She looked thoughtful. But she also shot a glance at Sergeant Barry, who lifted his head and pointed his finger at me.

"Two tiny problems with your plan, Hatem," Barry said. "One: You didn't have Supergirl here bring the

nukes

. Without heavy ordinance, we're going to be fighting out of our weight. Two: Even if we take out the Doyen's high royalty and Doctor Oblivion, that doesn't make the rest of the Doyen Empire vanish."

"No," Ali said, sliding away from me. "But if I'm holding Doyen Prime, I can begin to offer places for younger nobles to come, to hide, to join our side." She nodded.

"And with the League's help, we can start hitting any major Doyen forces that reestablish themselves.

And

protect the Earth with more than just stealth," I said, nodding. Amelia and Barry looked at Paragon. Paragon frowned slightly, her finger going to her collar.

"Omniack, what do you think?"

"I think we're out of range, aren't-" Amelia started.

"I think he has a point," Omniack's voice came from her collar. "But it's still a risky as all hells plan. Admiral Delacroix, what do you think?"

"Hatem," Commander Delacroix said, her voice pure ice. "I commend you. You have managed to both earn a medal of honor posthumously

and

a date with a military tribunal

within

five hours of each other. That's a

first

."

I grinned. "Firstly. Cool!" I said, nodding to Paragon. "Quantum?"

Her broad brows furrowed. "Your throat com!" I said. "Is it quantum entanglement?"

"Technically, it's a form of renewing connective strata using shinimantic-" Omniack started. Paragon flicked the mute switch on her collar.

"Yes," she said.

"Secondly," I said. "Do medals of honor cancel out dishonorable discharges?"

"Nope!" Amelia said, slapping my back.

I gulped. "Commander, I..."

The thunder rumbled and I trailed off, not really having a

great

way to defend myself. But my gut said that this had been the right decision. Delacroix sighed, dramatically. "Well, as we are set, then we shall make the move. Lt. Amelia, you're in command of on planet operations. Princess Tzali, I want you to make contact with any subversive elements on Doyen Prime. How long do you think your strike force can go undetected?"

"Between six hours and ten weeks," Ali said, nodding. "It all depends on if a noble decides to use the stargate and finds out what Rinny and us have done."

I looked at Rinny. The tough looking gold-skinned Doyen was looking around herself with an expression somewhere between 'oh god, what have I done' and 'oh god, I may actually have a shot at something I've dreamed of doing for years.' It was an expression very similar to anyone who had broken a ten year gambling-free streak by buying a lotto ticket and got five cherries in a row and was just about to unscratch the last of the scratch hole. That was how lotto tickets worked, right? She saw me looking and pursed her lips slightly.

"Then we'll have to move fast," Delacroix said. "We'll put ourselves into orbit once you give the signal. I want scouts to identify the best positions for HQ to drop in. Then, we'll engage in operations. Good luck. Also, Lt. Amelia...if Abby Hatem steps one inch out of lines and away from your orders, you have my permission to shoot him dead. Understood?"

Her voice clicked off.

Paragon grinned at me. "So, if you survive this, what are your plans for retirement? Teasing dinosaurs while being dressed in nothing but steaks?"

"You guys have dinosaurs?" I asked.

"Not...with us," she said, shaking her head. "They're extinct."

"On your planet too?" I asked.

"Yeah," she said. "You know most species go extinct, right? Like, more species have gone extinct than current exist in the whole galaxy."

I blinked. Then, slowly, I turned to Amelia, who was regarding me skeptically. Ali then stepped between her and me, snarling. "If you dare

touch

Abby," she said.

"I'm not going to shoot Abby!" Amelia exclaimed. "God. I'm not some blinking commissar!"

"Or, if she is, she's more like Gaunt," I said, nodding.

"She's not that skinny," Ali muttered.

"No, Ibram Gaunt-"

"Hatem!" Barry snapped. "Shut up!"

"Sorry, Sergeant," I said, coughing. "Stupid obscure sci-fi references are how I break the tension."

Barry stepped up close to me. His eyes narrowed. "Dan Abnett is

not

obscure," he growled. I blinked. And, on cue, each of us laughed. As the tension bled from my spine, Ali crossed her arms over her chest and frowned at the lot of us, laughing and giggling. Amelia, seeing her look, nodded.

"Right. Lets get to work."

***

Vicky, Ali, Rinny and I all arrived at the outskirts of Doyen Prime's capital. I adjusted the glittering crystalline armor that I wore and wondered if all Doyen armor was this uncomfortable, or if it was just nervousness. Vicky had shifted herself to her big badass spider form (that is, her horse big, not

house

big spider form) and Rinny strode before Ali like she was her guardian and protector. All in all, with me to the side, Rinny at the front, and Vicky at the back, we looked like a proper procession of Doyen bigwigs. Well, Doyen bigwig and her slaves and paladin guards. Same difference.

"So, Tzali," Rinny muttered. "Why did we bring your boyfriend? Beyond another way to increase the chances of us getting caught?"

"He's a warper and, thus, the best way for us to get out of here once we're done," Ali said, sniffing. "And because he has precognative powers." She smiled ever so slightly at me. This was an expression that would have worried me - I mean, what better way to get caught, right? - save that Ali's psychic expressions remained as locked and controlled as ever. Doyen didn't even look at faces, most of the time, so I risked a smile right back at her.

"Oh," Rinny said, slowly. "Well, which noble estate should we try first?"

I tore my eyes from Ali and looked around the capital. One downside of being dumped places via teleportating warp gates created by gorgeous naked psychic ladies? You rarely got to get a good look at a place before you were

in

it. And being surrounded by the entirety of the capital was enough to give me eye-strain. Every single building was constructed from the raw psychic energy of the Doyen households living there. Crackling walls of blue force, swirling greenish nimbuses of anti-gravity fields, flames fifty feet high that wound around purple pillars of solidified light. And those were the

less

ostentatious houses. The fanciest house I saw looked like the Doyen in question had siphoned (or maybe I should say

psy

phoned) off a chunk of stellar matter, contained it in a bubble of black light, and set it above his house. The gravitational field of that stellar matter dragged chunks of the ground upwards and into orbits around the thudding heart of fusion-fire, and several of those chunks had been carved into esoteric landscapes, decorated with greenery and shrubs from dozens of worlds.

At least, that was how it looked. For all I knew, the whole 'gravitokinetic field of stellar matter' thing was just some fancy illusion. But as I looked at those swirling bits of greenery, my gut told me...

"That one," I said.

"Ah," Rinny said. "Go to House Taven, one of the most loyal retainers of Ali's father. That's

genius

."

"Well, duh, of course they'd be the ones most likely to betray him," I said. "Classic Ned Starke. I presume."

"Who?" Rinny asked.

"I don't know, I never read Game of Thrones," I said.

Rinny's brow furrowed even more. Ali shook her head slightly and whispered. "Don't ask."

Our group worked our way down the broad thoroughfare and I got more chances to observe the Doyen on their capital planet, in their capital city. And the thing that struck me as the most obvious weird thing? It wasn't the buildings made of psychic energy, or even the clear signs of enslavement on many of the aliens walking by. That shit was pretty standard Doyen bullshit. No. It was the fact that each building was built so far away from every other. Each building also had

defenses

. Like, up close, I could see where paladins could set up shop, where war-forms could fight without putting their house at risk. I could see phalanxes of Doyen who weren't in warforms, waiting for anyone to start some

shit

.

"I feel really bad for you people, you know?" I asked.

Ali nodded.

We came to the swirling bubble-gravity house. The front 'door' was actually a Doyen Paladin. Demonstrating the pastel spread of Doyen ethnographics, this girl was

bright

pink. And she clearly both knew the stereotypical view of pink in human society and fought against that stereotype, because her armor was five times spikier than any other Doyen armor I had seen. She had painted it dark black, and her cheeks had been decorated with swirls of black war paint. She snarled and thrust a spiky finger at Ali.

"What do

you

want, stranger?"

Ali scoffed. "I am an emissary of House Gaunt," she said - her eyes betraying the shifty glance she sent my way as she quickly made up a fake noble house. "We're a minor house at the edge of the Empire, and we seek to meet with the scions of House Taven."

The pink paladin pursed pretty...lips and cocked her head. "House Gaunt. Never heard of you."

"It has to do with the

engagement

that recently took place against the humans," Ali said, her voice soft as she leaned forward.

"You've heard news of it?" the pink paladin asked.

Ali nodded. "And I believe Gaunt and Taven could...take

advantage

of it."

The pink paladin frowned. "One of your retainers goes in. The other two stay out here."

"Rinny, you're with me," Ali said, without hesitation. My gut said this was the right move. My head said this was the right move. My dick and my heart and my soul all started a vicious letter writing campaign and started airing attack ads on TV:

Is the brain really an enemy agent? It's not slander, you can't sue us, we're just asking questions!

The two Doyen headed inside. Vicky and I remained standing. I crossed my arms over my chest and wished I had something to lean against. Vicky sat back on her spinnerets. The pink paladin kept looking at us, like she expected us to start attacking her at any second.

"Sup?" I asked.

"Not much," she said, shrugging. "Kinda pissed off we didn't get a shot at the humans."

"You, uh, hate humans?" I asked.

"Nah," she said. "I just like fighting. And a chance to get some land grants." She grinned. "And I hear fighting humans is the best test that a paladin can face."

"It's a fantastic way to get killed," Vicky said, her voice soft.

"Well, hey, what else am I gonna do with my life?" she asked, looking honestly curious.

I tapped my foot. "You could...knit?"

"What's

knit

?" Her brow furrowed.

I coughed. "So, uh, is it hard to work at a house whose centerpiece is a chunk of star?"

The pink paladin scoffed and waved her hand. "Maybe for a pussy. Like you."

I arched an eyebrow.

The pink paladin's eyes narrowed ever so slightly. "Hurm..." she murmured.

Vicky slowly bumped me with one of her furred legs.

A Doyen Paladin would never let a challenge like that stand.

I blinked. "Right!" I said.

"What?" the pink paladin asked.

"I challenge you!" I said, thrusting my finger at her. "For insulting me."

The pink paladin smirked. "You're not Doyen, are you?"

I quickly jerked my head around suspiciously. No one was looking our way. In fact, the street seemed to be mostly empty, save for the paladins at the front doors of the distance houses. Doyen paranoia had come to my rescue! I looked back at the pink paladin, who looked like she was waiting for me to respond. A moment later, it clicked: She wasn't looking at my face and my frantic looking. She was waiting for my psychic emotions to give her away. And I was keeping

my

shields up and hard-core encoded. She smirked, opening her mouth.

"Grab her!" I shouted.

Vicky leaped.

***

"That was your plan!?" Ali snarled. "Grab her!?"

"I panicked!" I hissed.

The four of us - five, if you counted the bound and gagged and psychically shielded pink paladin - were crammed into the antechamber of the stellar house. Each of those rock chunks was actually a psychically charged portal that headed to an enclosed area that could have been anywhere on the planet. Vicky and I had grabbed and dragged the pink paladin into one of those homes, protected by some quick warping by me. Basically, I had just...warped light past us for a few steps, so no light would bounce back to any watching Doyen's eyes. It had been tiring, but since we hadn't immediately been attacked by dozens of pissed off psychic warriors, I figured it had at least

partially

worked.

Ali groaned. "Well, fortunately, Rinny and I got to meet with the youngest children of House Taven..." She frowned down at the paladin. "They're willing to join us in the attack on the old guard. Hey, you!" She nudged at the pink paladin with her toe. "Pinkie!"

"Mmph!" the pink paladin said.

"How are you for hitting the dickheads who have been running this empire into the ground for the past two millenium in the...dick?" Ali asked. Either she was too exasperated to use diplomacy, or she

rightly

realized that this

was

diplomacy for the pugnacious paladin.

The pink paladin slowly cocked her head. Then she shrugged.

"Mmphh," she said.

Ali scowled. "Land grants!?"

"Mmmhh!"

"Fine!" Ali said, waving her hand.

"How can you understand her? She's gagged and psy-shielded," Vicky said, frowning. She had resumed her sexy Sarah Kerrigan looking form due to the simple fact that sticking a horse-sized spider into what seemed to be the Doyen version of a sitting room was not exactly comfortable for anyone involved.

Ali shrugged. "That's what

all

paladins want."

Rinny opened her mouth, as if she was about to complain. Then she sighed and shrugged.

I grinned.

When we had emerged from the sitting room, four Paladins in similarly overly spiked armor were there to meet us. Well, not meet us exactly. They had gone to the post the pink paladin had taken and were looking around. She, being degagged now, called out to them: "Hey, can't a girl take a break every once and a while?"

"No," one of them said, smirking at her. "We detected a faint residue of fear here-"

"Have you seen the spider?" she asked, jerking her thumb at Vicky, who had resumed her horse-sized spider form. The paladins eyed her, and then started to nod.

As we walked away, Ali grinned to me. "Nice instincts, precog."

I winked at her.

***

The small camp-sight that PsiCom had set up in the jungle was looking a hell of a lot more camouflaged when we happy three emerged from the warp and looked around ourselves. Biokinetics had resculpted tree branches and leaves to create a semi-solid canopy, while telekinetics and Paragon had righted and set up the mecha. Those were being loaded and armored and readied by every hand not currently out scouting. Amelia was in the center of it all, scratching out orbital diagrams in the dirt with a stick. Since this required her to bend forward, it meant that her ass was thrust towards us and I could see every bit of her delicious, delicate looking pussy.

"Will you try and seduce her too?" Ali asked, chuckling.

"No, she...was definitely a gold star lesbian last time I checked," I said, nodding.

"A most excellent lesbian?" Ali asked, her brow furrowed. "How does one have objective metrics for sapphism?"

"Don't ask me," I said, laughing. "I'm supremely unqualified to pass judgment on any forms of lesbian culture. I don't even speak lesbianese!"

Ali nodded, then smirked. "Ah, I see." She stepped around to stand before me, her finger going to my chest. "And yet, you've told me several times that you wouldn't mind trying being a girl for a bit using biokinesis." She grinned. "Ergo, you

must

speak at least

some

lesbianese!"

"To be fair, lesbianese isn't a real language, so..."

"I know it's not real!" Ali said, rolling her eyes. "It's just a charming metaphor!"

"Yes. Charming." Vicky said, slowly.

Amelia chose that moment to stand up and look over at us. Seeing her expectant head-jerk-motion thing (you know, the kind that requires the use of your whole chin), I jogged over. I saluted, then took a moment to look at the orbital diagram. She had scrawled out the moon and Doyen Prime, and placed several dots and lines around it. The scouts - people from Gamma and Delta squad - were both waiting for her to pass judgment on their reports. They'd have to wait a bit longer, because Amelia asked: "What's the report on Doyen subversives?"

"House Taven's scions have contacts in four other noble houses that all...express dissatisfaction with the current regime," Ali said. "If we hit during the celebration parade that's happening today..." She grinned. "They'll switch sides."

"Celebration parade?" Amelia asked. I looked just as surprised. "They just got their bums kicked!"

Ali sighed. "Apparently, my father is gathering up all the Doyen survivors from his attack and he's going to fly them over the capital. Here's my thinking..." She sighed. "Nothing brings out wanna-be traitors faster than a historic defeat. And this?" She gestured around us at all the gleaming mecha and heavy ordinance. "This was a big ass defeat."

"I can really tell that you've learned English primarily from Hatem," Amelia said, shaking her head.

"So, he needs to show he's still in control and bring out any traitors while he still has Doctor Oblivion on his side," she said. "Oblivion is his ace in the hole. The supervillain can toast anyone in a solo fight, or even a five on one fight."

So, to really

underline

the disparity in power levels involved here, Paragon was about a mile away, at the far, far, far, far end of the camp. She had been busy in using her laser-eye vision to spot weld some fresh armor onto one of Gamma Squad's mecha. The instant that Ali said the word 'Oblivion', she had blinked from there to right beside me. Like, between blinks, she had flown over. And it was a flight thing, not a teleportation thing, because I kinda

saw

her movement a few seconds later when my brain had time to adjust to just how fast she was. Then the fright impulse hit and I leaped away from her with a strangle 'muahah!'