Wendy and I were so tired that we moved through the airport like zombies, putting one foot in front of the other, walking slowly and staring straight ahead. Just before we boarded our plane I got a text from my husband Mike. "I'm having some guys over for poker tonight. I'm picking Bob up so tell Wendy to come to our house so she can take him home."
"Just great," I said. "They'll probably want us to make snacks."
"Fuck that," Wendy said. "They can take care of themselves."
I laughed at Wendy's comment. "Yeah," I said. "Fuck 'em."
Little did I know that we were, in fact, going to wind up fucking themβliterally fucking them.
Wendy followed me to my house so we would arrive at the same time. When we walked inside we found the place dimly lit with a bunch of guys sitting around a table in the family room. I had expected a big welcome from Mike but we got mostly silence.
"Um...helloooooo," I said.
Mike looked up at me and, with a strange smile on his face, said, "I've got some bad news."
Bob looked at Wendy with the same kind of smile. "Yeah," he said. "Me, too."
I was about to ask
what kind of bad news
when Mike said, "You see, I made a bet and lost."
I shrugged. "So?"
Bob chimed in. "I made the same bet," he said.
Wendy and I looked at each other as if to say
what the fuck
?
She said, "Well, unless you bet the house or the car then..."
Bob cut her off. "I bet
you