*Editing magic performed by Shyqash, plus contributions by the regular gang of brigands and neer-do-wells*
*This tale is a bit tongue and cheek as well as kinky, so be warned.*
*One for the Money, two for the road. Three to get ready and four ... you're screwed!*
[Finally, some sex!]
[THAT FRIDAY NIGHT WE WON'T SOON FORGET]
Here we were at the end of the worst week for me in a long time and I felt truly boned. I had, despite some herculean efforts on my part, won the Most Eligible Bachelor of Megalopolis (under 30) Contest. Bonny aka Ultima had definitely screwed me over. Not only had she upped my profile, she had looked super-hot doing so. Worse, I had defeated the person who I thought deserved it much, much more - India Figueroa.
"Sorry," I whispered to her. "You deserve this more than I." We were standing on the stage with a crowd in the auditorium standing and clapping as the results were read off. We had peeked at the results earlier, praying it was India.
"No worries," India squeezed my hand. "I'm used to it."
See, even in defeat, she was kind about it. She was cute, brave and a great team player were as I was a rather curmudgeony supervillain (in disguise).
"Well, I think I will decline this honor," I breathed out the side of my mouth.
"Don't you dare," she squeezed my hand harder. "That will only embarrass everyone involved - you included."
"Fine, but I'm going to be a bad sport about it," I conceded.
"Oh poo," she grinned.
"And the winner is ... let's see the final results as of six o'clock this evening ... Reynard Haven!" the announcer sang out.
"Go get them, Tiger," India said as she kissed me on the cheek. To do so she had to stand up on her tippy-toes even with her heels.
"Here goes nothing ..." and up I went.
"Thank you, Megalopolis," I shouted out as I held up the brass, gold and glass trophy in one hand. "I would just like to say ... I think that I've met some wonderful people while participating in this contest ... namely Kyle Rodney and India Figueroa ...who each would have made excellent choices beside myself. I will miss their companionship and wit."
"I would also be remiss in not thanking Boniface Franklin aka Ultima, who pumped a great deal of money into the charities this contest championed and opened my eyes about a whole bunch of things. I would also like to thank the contest organizers, promoters and staff who made all of this less than a traumatic experience for us participants."
"Go Stars!" I twisted and toasted India and the women's Soccer League team she was a midfielder on. "Go Champions!" I added Kyle's NFL team as well.
The audience seemed to appreciate my efforts. Some women threw their underwear at me before I could exit the stage as well. What I was supposed to do about it - I had no idea.
Once backstage I was gifted with two surprises. Okay, something I was pleased about and Bonny. Kyle had shown up without my knowledge and been sneaked backstage.
"Good job, Sport," he clasped my hand and patted my shoulder. "I'm sure the Front Office (of his sport's franchise) will appreciate it."
"Mine as well," India crowded in to congratulate me. "You even said ours first," she then raspberried Kyle. We all laughed.
"You did just fine," Bonny joined our huddle. "You didn't need to mention me though. I didn't contribute what I did for the accolades."
"Still ... if someone nominates me for this madness next year, I'm saying 'no'."
"Me too," Kyle agreed.
"Me three," India concurred. "They can pick someone else to be the 'cute' sidekick."
"Who said you were the 'cute' sidekick?" I teased her.
"Well, you were the hero which made me the sidekick," she beamed widely.
"Wait now - she's the hero ... heroine," I poked a thumb in Bonny's direction. "I'm just 'that other guy'."
"Who saved Barry and Louise," Kyle pointed out.
"Yeah and took out three members of the Uptown Crew," India pilled on the unhappiness. I was no one's hero, damn it!
"Listen up, you two," I shook my head. "I am not the good guy. I have a secret ID for a reason and that reason is rather villainous."
"Yet you are helping well known vigilantes," India countered. "You are one loyal, brave and truthful villain, if you really are a villain after all."
"One can be loyal, brave and true without being a 'good guy'."
"Oh, just stop, Reynard. They appear to know you better than you know yourself," Bonny intervened. "You may not be a classical hero, but you sport some finer qualities which put you heads and shoulders above most villains."
"Why don't we talk about something else?" I evaded the discussion.
"Ramone's on 64th?" Kyle suggested.
"I'm in if someone else is covering the tab," India snickered.
"I've got this," Kyle regally declared. "Dinner and drinks are on me."
"Why don't you go," Bonny dragged me along. I suspected they had forgotten that since I was under the legal age of 21, I wouldn't be doing any drinking. "Come on, Reynard. You will have fun."
"I'm coming. I'm coming," I conceded.
"Besides, you get to meet my girlfriend, who has been rather anxious to meet you all," Kyle informed us. I bet she was ... and for a bit of interrogating too.
At the exit, Bonny stopped and kissed me on the cheek goodbye. She was still and important lady with truly important things to do.
[~]
Kyle's girlfriend turned out to be one Kimberly Mann and a rather enjoyable russet-haired, mocha-skinned beauty. Kyle was one lucky guy. She didn't bust our chops much about Kyle doing dangerous stuff, and she only chided me once for saving Louise Dresser just so she could ruin poor Lao Ping's life. I claimed not to be a firm believer in Buddhist karma - if I saved someone's life, they owed me - I wasn't responsible for them ... especially not for their whole life.