Prologue
A rare find, that beautiful crimson hair. It was usually the result of cheap dye and a childish personality, desperate to prove individuality by opposing normality. In this case, it was a rare gift from nature, every strand like melting rubies, when most so-called redheads possessed only a diluted orange hue. It drew the eyes of all those around her, including Noah's.
It was after school in early autumn, the light of the setting sun illuminating her visage and reminding him why it was worth it to approach her. She was walking across the empty soccer field, her body trembling from the adrenaline of all the running she had done in her track club. For once, she was without her friends surrounding her or her boyfriend's arm draped over her shoulders like a boa constrictor. Noah had been waiting for this chance longer than she could imagine.
"Lindsey, hey," he said, meeting her in the open air, free from any interruptions.
"Noah, what are you doing here?"
She asked that question, but knew the answer. What else would draw a boy to her? What other possible desire? He was going to flirt with her, possibly even ask her out. Would he be nervous? Would he be cocky? Would he play innocent and try to start with some small talk, or would he get straight to the point? Had he planned this? Ever since she transferred to his school during their Sophomore year, he had tried to get to know her, but it seemed like something always got in the way.
It was evident in her eyes that she saw through his intentions, but it didn't dissuade him. If anything, it amused him, the paradox of human coupling that became both easier and more difficult with age. Of course, she already knew what he desired, so unless she felt the same way, her heart would be guarded, and he'd be talking to a brick wall. It was a challenge that men and women had struggled with since the dawn of time.
"I heard that you and Sean broke up. I know what that feels like, how much it hurts, and I'm sorry. If it's not too soon, I wanted to ask if you'd like to go out with me this weekend?"
"Sorry, but since we're graduating this year, I'm not sure I want to bother dating. After all, when summer comes, we're all going to split up and go our separate ways."
Though not an optimal outcome, rejection was within Noah's expectations. He just had to convince her to give him a chance, but gently. He had to choose his words with care so that he wouldn't come off as desperate and frustrated, but not try to ham it up by turning it into a sonnet like an out-of-touch nerd.
"Is that why you two broke up? Because you didn't see a point in staying together? I doubt that. I think you believe in love, in giving it a chance. A lot of things will happen between now and graduation; Christmas, Valentine's Day, the prom? That's plenty of time to be happy, and to make up your mind about which path you plan on taking. Plans can change, things can work out. All I want is a chance."
"Sorry, but I'm just not interested in dating, and I'm too busy anyway. Besides, I like you only as a friend."
She crossed her arms to warm herself, but she kept them low. It was an instinctive move that Noah's eyes didn't miss. He gave an exasperated smile and began to laugh. "Ok, I get it. Maybe next time."
Lindsey, wanting this conversation to be over, walked past him, but beneath his continuing laughter, she heard something, a metallic click, and it chilled her blood. She spun around and saw the knife in Noah's hand.
"Jesus Christ, what are you doing?!" she screamed while raising her hands to shield herself.
"Don't worry. This isn't for you."
He swung up his hand and stabbed himself in the throat. The strike was so fast, but gentle, just the tip of the blade breaking his skin and severing his Jugular with pinpoint accuracy. It was a perfect, fluid movement, as if he had spent hours practicing. Blood began to spray from the small wound, and he allowed himself to fall on his back to the sound of Lindsey's scream. She rushed over and tried to stop the bleeding. Covering it with her hand only slowed the outpour, so she reached into her bag for something to use as a bandage.
"Stop, just keep your hand there," Noah said calmly.
The vein he had struck carried blood out of the head and sent it back to his heart, so the rest of the blood in his system would keep his brain oxygenated, for a short time, at least.
"You're fucking crazy! I'm not going to let you die like this!"
"I've already died like this... more than a hundred times before."
"What are you talking about?"
"It's exactly what it sounds like. I know what it feels like to die, because I've experienced it. Reincarnation, transmigration, whatever you call it, I count lives like you count years, and every time I die, return to the time of my birth, but in a new timeline, a new reality. I'll end up in a world where my surroundings are different, or history didn't go the way I remember it, or events will happen in my future that I can't predict. I've been born and died so many times, laughed and suffered through so many lifetimes, burdened with infinite experience."
"That's just blood loss talking. Hang on!" She tried to pull out her phone, but Noah grabbed it with surprising strength.
"You're pregnant, aren't you? Sean freaked out after you told him and that's why you broke up."
Her face became as pale as his. "How could you possibly know that?"
"Because this isn't the first time I've confessed to you, or the first time we've even had this conversation. Only in my past seven lifetimes have you been present, and in all seven lifetimes, I could never make you mine, no matter how much I wanted you. Something always screwed up my chances. Five of those times were because you were pregnant. You and Sean get back together by Thanksgiving, and I and everyone else watch you dance together at the prom. Each time, I kill myself to try again in my next life, with another version of you."