Well, hello. This is a story I created in 2009 and had no idea what to do with it (the days before I knew about publishing on Literotica). I have spent some time cleaning things up from what I have learned from all of you here on Literotica. The erotic portion is later in the story and short, limited, and sweet.
Usually I would give the whole 'all people are a figment of my imagination' but that would be a lie. I met and managed the Colonel for a good six to eight months and the beginning of the story is partially true. I always wondered what happened in 2012 (remember when the world was supposed to end?).
What stories he and his wife told each other when the aliens did not step forth and take over human civilization.
***
Drew sat at his desk and leaned back to stretch. He always hated to have his back to his office door, but in the cramped space of this rented office complex there were not many choices. He was the operations manager and did not rate the plush office inhabited by his boss. That is whenever his boss deemed to find time to BE IN the office.
Drew looked over the spreadsheet on his monitor, but he could feel a new presence behind him. He held his breath. The new, ominous, presence could only mean trouble and danger.
"Yes Jennet, what can I do for you?" Drew asked.
"Colonel Sanders is at it again," she responded and then paused.
"You are going to have to something about the little redneck idiot," Jennet continued.
Drew groaned with the unknown knowledge of what problems "Colonel Sanders" may have caused now. The Colonel's arrival in the little town of Harrisburg, PA had been without drama, but that soon changed.
He arrived in the small construction office with flare. His white hair, goatee, physical height, and shape did make him the spitting image of Colonel Sanders, the fried chicken king. The southern Georgian accent just sealed the deal.
His given name was Ralph.
Outside of his earshot and sometimes within, if Jennet wanted to make a point, the word "Colonel" was used. His obvious distaste of taking direction and/or "help" from the large African American female office manager "J", did not help Drew's management issues.
The Colonel was shuttled off to his Jobsite trailer. At least things calmed down for a couple of weeks.
Then the 'cousin' network of women started to operate. One 'cousin' called another to gossip about the antics of the Colonel. It was still quiet from Drews perspective, until it wasn't. The principles and head administrators for the different schools of the Harrisburg School District started to note their 'concerns' via email and voice mail. Thank god texting had not yet been invented.
The calls came in, in dribs and drabs. Some called with a chuckle asking where Drew had found such an "entertaining man". Drew's focus was on the District's new school construction not on "entertainment."
So, finally he had to turn his energy to discovering the mystery.
During one his jobsite visits., Drew asked what conversations the 'Colonel" was having with the clients.
"Well, you see" the Colonel responded in that slow Georgian drawl.
"My wife and I, both highly educated folk, have found a new type of belief or understanding of the universe and I was just sharing that with the nice young man."
Drew translated that to mean the Principal of the largest high school in the School District.
Drew groaned inwardly.
"He seems bright and computer literate, so I thought I would share our research with him so he could decide for his own future," the Colonel continued.
"OK...what exactly is this belief system of yours? I must know to understand what has tickled our clients so," Drew said through clinched teeth.
"Well, you see" the Colonel started again in his slow way, "We have discovered secret government documents and web sites that prove that interstellar beings have visited earth and are working with the US government here today."
Drew stopped breathing as the Colonel continued.
"The aliens have bases all over the world and have been working with our government and the liberal folks in Hollywood for years to prepare us for eventually meeting them. You know, Star Trek, Star Wars, aliens, Predator, all of them are real. The movies that we watch are based on real beings and are being used to soften the blow when they become...public."
Drew's mind flew through all the discussions he would be having with Corporate HR in an hour. But Drew also had to deal with the realization that talking about one's religious belief did not violate corporate regulations.
Drew was stunned and stood there open-mouthed, flapping like a carp trying to find a breath.
"Look, I was born and raised in California and am a lot more open-minded than some around here. And I truly hope that we are not the only intelligent species in the universe...But!"
Drew paused, continuing to categorize his thoughts, "But do you think that telling this information to our client was the best choice?"
The Colonel shrugged and handed Drew a paper with a series of websites to research on the web. Drew took the paper threw it in his briefcase and walked out.
The parting comment from the Colonel as Drew was leaving was "It's all true; I know it's true because I have met them, and they are watching ..."
Drew climbed into his truck, grabbed the steering wheel in a death grip and wanted to scream. 'Construction is hard enough" he thought with a red haze over his eyes. Drew went through his calming exercises so his heart would not burst and then took several deep breaths.
"What the hell am I going to with this clown," he asked himself rhetorically while sitting in his truck.
It did not take long to get to an answer from Corporate HR. The Colonel was directed to report to the main office where he was fired that very same day. While Drew realized that he would be shouldering additional burdens due to lack of manpower, he felt it was well worth the trouble to get rid of this nut case.