I was used to sleeping for hours in my cramped little cell, always in darkness. It was the only way to pass the time. I was used to washing in cold water when I could get enough and I was used to freezing on the uneven concrete floor. Then again, I was used to eating actual food, even if it was gruel. So as I lay on my back, baking my skin blissfully under the full force of the Kragosa noonday sun and skinny dipping in the lukewarm oasis spring when I got too hot, I considered my luck to have evened out. Sure, my stomach was eating itself in desperation and okay, my pale, sickly skin was burning rapidly in the bright light, but all told it was an improvement on the last eight months of my life.
I had tried eating a few of the reeds and flat leafs in the spring in hopes they might be edible, but those had been long odds and I wasn't quite that lucky.
Several hours later I saw it, another furry little critter like the one outside the village. Its long ears dragged along on the ground behind it as it hopped closer and closer to the edge of the spring. It just wanted a drink. I could sympathize. It got close enough I could almost reach it. I sat perfectly still. Then I pounced, grabbing its ears in one hand and breaking its neck over my knee with the other. Yikes, I thought, looking at its eyes bulging out as it lay there limply, body cooling. I'd never actually killed anything with my bare hands before and my guilt was doubled by its cuteness. I was such a girl.
I washed it in the spring and found another sharp rock and began to skin it messily. Not exactly the easiest thing to do without a proper knife. I peeled the flesh from the bone and separated the guts. I never did like eating the guts. Too visceral I guess. I was a dyed-in-the-wool hypocrite. I took the fleshiest cuts and hung them from a spiny bit on the prickly plant facing the sun and waited a half hour or so before turning them. They had gone from a bloody pink to a bright, tender white on the cooked side so I waited another half hour and gobbled them so quickly I could barely taste them, let alone worry whether or not they were actually cooked. My belly full and my thirst sated, I passed out on the shore.
I awoke a few more hours later to hear the hum of shuttles overhead. Not again, I thought, my head swimming as I stared up to the sky to try to make them out in the sudden brightness. There were two this time, only a few kilometers away, scanning the skies no doubt. I looked around for shelter and saw only the tall, prickly plants that afforded no shelter and the leafless shrubs shaped like fans. And the spring. The hum grew louder and I turned then, wading back into the shallow water. I took a deep breath and plunged my head underneath as I tried to open my eyes in the clearness to watch the skies.
And of course they lingered. I was no marathon diver. I had a minute of air in my lungs, tops. Nothing was ever easy. I remember watching an old vid where the hero hides from laser fire underwater, staying under for over an hour because he was breathing through a hollow reed. Well, no such fucking luck. I felt my heart pounding and my lungs burning against the strain. If I resurfaced, they'd see me. Or maybe the water was so shallow they had already seen me. I let out a slow, careful train of bubbles, trying to last just a bit longer. I strained my eyes in the water again. I couldn't see one of the anymore. Had it landed? The other one began to move away too and as it did I knew I would have to inhale if I stayed under a moment longer. Spots danced in front of eyes.
My head crested the surface of the water and I inhaled as deeply as I could, feeling the delicious burning hot air scorch my empty lungs. I blinked away the water and scanned the air. They were both moving away, heading north. Maybe to the docking station. Well, with Perikos there it was sure to be a breeze.
I crawled out of the water on my hands and knees and made it a few feet from shore before crashing underneath the fan-shaped shrub. At least it afforded a little cover, I thought, looking up at the sky mosaiced behind the brittle, snarled branches. I felt exhausted all over again but I suppose I was used to sleeping most of the day and night.
I reached down to stroke the bulge at my belly but my thoughts were hardly maternal. I missed Perikos and not just the protection it offered. How much different, I wondered, would my stay at Kragosa have been if we had shared a cell? Or just had neighboring cells? And it wasn't just the sex, although that was twisted and complicated and wonderful enough. It was the kindness, the gentleness. Having someone to talk to, having someone to listen to. I suppose it wasn't any more affectionate or caring than a human would have been, so maybe I was just seriously deprived after eight months without any human contact but then again I didn't have anyone else. No close friends on Ferox 4, no boyfriends ever. It always seemed so overrated, so transient to date. I never wanted anyone enough. Renny and Dad had been killed on a transport mission almost two years ago. I was going to lose the house and Mylon was never any bloody help. He joined the Academy and I went into debt to keep our property. Colonies opened up all around, other plantations paid better and I lost all my workers and defaulted on my loans. And somehow wound up in Kragosa rather than a debtor's or women's prison. Anyone who knew anything about Kragosa knew anyone sent there never really expected to get out again. I grinned in spite of myself. We'd already beaten the odds.
But there were questions I couldn't answer and I was running out of time. If I couldn't go to Ferox 4, I couldn't go to any Union Colony and humans tended to only live on Union Colonies. It made sense. I supposed I could hide out somewhere in the Union so long as it was nice and isolated, some unspoken-for piece of land on some forgotten outpost. Somewhere warm. I could try to build a house and maybe a garden and live like a pioneer. But risking contact with other Union Colonists was too risky. TransmitNet was omnipresent and omnipotent. Then again I had lived almost completely alone for less than a year and that had been more than I could stand. And whether I wanted to admit it or not, there was something to what Perikos had said about darkness and fear. I reached my hand down to trace the outline of my still-swollen lips. I closed my eyes but the sunlight penetrated my eyelids. I fingered my clit, pinching it between my fingers and tugging softly. I felt only the slightest jolt of arousal. It would never be the same.
I felt something like a nudge or push need inside myself, not a product of my imagination but a real, intimate bump from within. My eyes flew open and my heart skipped a beat as I looked down at my bloated belly. I actually saw the skin just below my bellybutton twitch and stretch as I felt it bump me again from inside. Like a baby kicking I thought, though again my feelings were anything but maternal. Perikos felt me touch myself, felt my arousal and responded, probably with encouragement. Mastubating would have helped, would feed it, I thought as I idly traced my fingers around my slit, closed my eyes again and tried to recall every detail from the night before. The feeling of being bound and gagged, of struggling in darkness, of having my legs pulled apart and relying on someone else just to breathe. I tried to remember the feeling of having my ass stuffed and stretched while my pussy remained so painfully empty. Of the way it tugged and squeezed at my breasts and pulled at my nipples.
But it wasn't enough, I realized sadly, opening my eyes. I was never particularly good at bringing myself to orgasm before I ended up here, apparently because I never really knew what turned my crank. Now I knew what did, knew exactly what did but it didn't make it any easier. I seemed to have particular tastes and maybe nothing less than eleven inches of telepathic darkness that defied the laws of physics penetrating my holes while holding me down could really get me there anymore. And that was a pretty big problem in and of itself because I needed it.
I rolled over onto my side so I could feel the little weight inside me better. It felt good there, solid and reassuring. That alien bulge, however small, made me wetter than touching myself had. My eyes drifted shut again. There was more than four hours till nightfall, of that I was certain. I was tired but mostly I was tired of spending them alone.
I woke again when something inside me stirred and chased away dream fragments of toothless snakes on Ferox 4. My eyes flew open again and my mind was fully awake as I saw the starry sky peeking and winking from the other side of the shrub branches. I clenched my teeth as Perikos stirred inside me again and then I felt something cool and smooth and almost thin as air slip from the heat of my body, past my still-damp slit to pool in a heap of cool darkness between my thighs. A tendril curled along my frame to stroke my belly where I had touched it earlier. I reached down to run my hand over the dark mass. Perikos allowed it for a moment and then the darkness took on a life of its own, wrapping itself around my wrist and up my arm, spreading itself over my arms and shoulders and breasts like a blanket before sliding tendrils up into my dusty hair. One settled near the shell of my ear again.
"
Did you sleep well, Little Shade? You have had food and water. Have you any food left over
?
"
"No, there wasn't a lot of meat of those things. Why, were you hungry?" I couldn't help but grin as I felt the darkness coat my upper body.
"
Perhaps, but not for animal flesh of course. However, we have little time here and now and urgent matters to attend to at the docking station. I was asking to make sure you ate and drank before we left
."
My disappointment that Perikos did not need to feed from me must have showed in my posture or blood pressure or something. The tendrils in my hair rubbed lazy circles against my scalp while another stroked my cheek before tracing over my mouth, careful not to push inside. "
You regret I do not have time to pleasure you
?"
I could have kicked the bastard. My blushed deeply, my skin already burnt hot red from the sun. I pursed my lips and tried to think unsexy thoughts.
"
There is no shame in wishing it
," Perikos continued, tweaking my nipples from within the blanket of darkness. "
I felt you begin to give yourself pleasure earlier. Why did you stop? It would have been very satisfying indeed
."