This one is more fantasy than SF.
* * * * * *
"Oh Mason! Dear, I'm so sorry! The deposition got continued for another day; I won't be able to join you until tomorrow evening."
"Don't worry Sophie, I'm OK. I'll just putter around in this big old castle, all by myself..."
"All by yourself? The brochure said that they had a full staff."
"Well, there is an old guy who seems to do all the innkeeper work, but he said he never stays here overnight."
"You would think there would be ample room in that huge castle."
"Yeah, he said something about 'not being able to gang ary' after staying here."
"That means he couldn't walk correctly: did he have a limp?"
"Not really a limp, but he definitely had a strange gait. I'm glad that you can translate this brogue."
"Yes, well, I'll call you tomorrow when I find out what time I'll be coming in. You can meet me at the train station in town."
"Sounds good. Love you!"
"Love you too, dear. Good night."
Well, this will be a much more 'romantic getaway' when she finally gets here. I put my cellphone ('Oh yeah, that's a
mobile
here') on the nightstand, and picked up my book. After rereading the same paragraph for the third time, I realized I was just too tired from the long trip 'across the pond', and the interminable train ride, and put out the reading lamp. The room was still lit by the flickering glow from the fireplace, but I was asleep almost instantly.
*****************************
The surf crashed gently in the distance, while I lay on the lounge chair, half drowsing in the warm, humid tropical air. Sophie came to me, and wordlessly ran her hands down my chest. Her fingers trailed so lightly, so faintly that I could scarce feel them at all. My legs were uncomfortably warm, and I flicked the towel off. Sophie continued stroking, so very lightly, further and further downward, inspiring my cock to stir and swell. And swell. I felt as rigid as a fence post, as Sophie straddled me and impaled herself, thrusting herself vigorously up and down my cock, as I felt ... the lightest, faintest sensation? What the ...? I opened my eyes to find a beautiful, buxom woman bouncing up and down on my crotch. Well, not
quite
a woman, as I could see the fireplace and my castle bedroom through her. So, a ghost? I startled, and she looked down at me, her ghostly hands braced against my chest. Putting a finger to her lips, she shushed me, cocked an eyebrow, and continued her ride to orgasm.
Whereupon she vanished, leaving me with the fence post. My god, it
was
a fence post, and still unsatisfied by her ectoplasmic tickling. While I had been about 7" long at my best, my erection was now at least an extra hand long, another 4"?!? Left in the lurch, I staggered off to the WC to get acquainted with my new dimensions, half expecting everything to be a particularly bad case of jet lag-induced hallucination.
******************************
The next morning, I found that the caretaker had laid out breakfast for me in the sun room. His note said he was tending the grounds that morning, and would be back to the castle sometime mid-afternoon. I ate, verified, incredulously, for the
third
time that morning that my equipment was now extra-large, dressed, and cycled into the village on the castle's complimentary bicycle. Really not much else to do in the castle itself.
After poking my way through a few gift and souvenir shops, I wandered into a pub, thinking of an early lunch and killing time until Sophie called.
"Aye, welcome!" the barmaid called out, "What can I pour ye?"
I asked if there was a local Scotch, and what it was like.
"Weel, Braddoch is the closest, but not really local. Have ye had much Scotch before?"
I admitted that I hadn't.
"Try a taste o' this then. Most o' those who ha'n't had much seem to like it. If you like that'n, I'll give ye a full pour." I sat down at the bar, and tasted the amber liquid before me. Honey and wildflowers. I nodded approval, and received a much larger pour.
"So, are ye staying nearby, or just passing through?" she inquired.
I replied that I was staying at the old castle, and just waiting for my fiancΓ©e to arrive.
The codger three bar stools over then piped in, "Ah, then ye'll be safe from Bessie, then."
"Bessie?"
"Aye, the castle has a wee ghostie. Only 'bothers' the single men though, not if you have company", he replied. "She does make it worth your while, though", he added with a wink.
I was then reminded of the fact that I do not have a poker face, as he cocked his head and asked "Oh, so you spent the night there by yourself?" I nodded.
"Weel, no need to be embarrassed by it. Most o' the men in town have spent a night or three there, adding the odd centimeter to their wedding tackle. Meself included." I guess that explained all the rulers for sale in the souvenir shops.