The Bard's New Song

The Axe-Man is back with another filthy fantasy. Be warned that this story contains non-consent and futa-on-male scenes. As such, it should not be read by anyone. Enjoy :)

-Ax

***

She worked at the bakery

It was a tasty little pie shop

And she had all the goodies

Like a heaving bosom that makes your eyes pop

-

She had all the fellows

Every Tom, Dick and Harry hanging 'round

But she declined Tom and Harry

Dick is all she ever thinks of now

-

Yes she's got Dick on her mind all the time

She hugs him and kisses him, squeezes him so tight

When he goes to bed she tucks him in sometimes

Because she's got Dick on her mind all the time

***

The bard's bawdy song was not the only sound filling the summer night air, there was the drunken laughter accompanying it, the constant murmur of chatter, crackling of the fire and chorus of chirping of crickets in the dark. The two amazon guards walked along the dim path as they patrolled the area where the merchant caravan had set up camp, a stone's throw from the city walls. They were approaching the lit area filled with revellers.

"Here we go, more drunken idiots to keep in line," said the muscular woman with a half-shaved head.

"Each day with the company is coins in our pocket," replied her companion.

"I'm having my doubts that it's worth it, Alkaia. You said we would face glorious combat, so far there have only been inept scuffles."

"I said we may face some great dangers, and we may still yet. The caravan is a tempting target for bandits and raiders."

"And I may sprout wings and fly home. If it weren't for the High Priestesses directive that we travel together, I would likely be back home by now."

"Yes, so eager to get back and share your blessing with Iphito, no doubt. But then, how long would it be before you had the opportunity to venture out of the great jungle again?"

"Don't care, I've seen enough. Most men are no better than rats. I wouldn't mind if I never see another one. I'm going to take a piss, I'll catch up with you."

"Yeah, sure. Don't go flying off to the jungle now, Quinn," said Alkaia, her companion made an obscene gesture and then turned and headed off the dirt path. The tall lightly-armored warrior continued walking toward the light and music and activity.

A pair of drunken men were staggering down the path toward her, merrily attempting to recant the "Dick" song, but it only sounded like an off-key slurred mess. "Holy shit, that's a big woman!" exclaimed one of them looking up at her. "I could put a saddle on her and ride her 'round the city."

"Haha, she's got big titties. Maybe she would like havin' us mount 'er," laughed his mate.

Alkaia let out an annoyed grunt. Her sour companion did have a point about men. She chose to ignore the heckling drunkards as she walked past. If they spoke like that with Quinctilia, they would likely be knocked to the ground.

She soon entered the torch-lit area where the music was playing, young women were dancing and the wine and ale was flowing. Alkaia felt the amulet above her hefty breasts begin to warm. This had her on edge, it was a warning that magic power was being called in the area, subtle as it was. And it wasn't the first time it had mysteriously activated while she had been traveling with the caravan. The guard carefully scanned the area, but couldn't see where it may be coming from. Perhaps it was just affected by the magical trinkets that some of the merchants traded in.

There was one unexpected sight that caught her attention. Young Marion Martel was there amongst the dancers, dressed in loose brightly colored pants and small tube top covering her budding breasts. She was showing a lot of her smooth pale skin. A tall, pudgy city man in a grey suit, twice her age was talking to her. Marion giggled as she dipped and swayed, her long blonde braids swinging around her slender frame.

Alkaia knew the young woman was out of place here. Her protective mother was not around, and the guard knew that she would not like this. She strode up to the pair of them and caught some of what the man was saying—"...where that came from, just come into wagon for a private dance. What do you say, Sweet thing?"

"So you like my dancing?" Marion smiled.

"Oh yes. Come and show me more," he then reached forward and gripped her wrist, trying to pull her forward. The young dancer didn't seem too perturbed by this and let out another giggle.

Alkaia's hand came down and gripped the man's shoulder hard. "Let her go!" she said in a stern voice. "She doesn't give private dances."

The man turned and looked up at the large tan woman with a muscular, shapely body partially covered in light leather and scale armor and bold tribal tattoos. He had a distasteful look on his face as he let go of the girl's arm. Marion looked up at the Amazon and gave a bright smile, "Hello Alkaia, what do you think of my new outfit? Silvia leant it to me. And I had my hair done like yours"

Her hair did look similar to Alkaia's, tied back with several long braids, some weaved together and few larger braids hanging loose. Only Marion's was a sandy blonde as opposed to dark brown. "What are you doing, Marion?"

"Dancing...obviously."

"Does your mother know you're out here?"

The young blonde pulled an exaggerated sour expression, "My mother doesn't know as much as she thinks my mother knows!"

"Have you been drinking?"

"No!" she said, shaking her head. But it seemed fairly obvious to Alkaia that she was not her usual self.

"I'm taking you back to your tent."

"Aw, but I'm having fun," whined Marion.

"Yes, let her have some fun, and make some good money," said the city man.

"You best get out of my sight right now," Alkaia threatened, looking down at him.

"Hey, I'm not doing anything wrong!"

"Would your wife agree with that?" came another male voice. Alkaia then noticed that the music had stopped and the bard had approached them.

"Wha...How did you know I'm married?"

"Bards know many things. Run along now, or she'll hear of your cogent interest in young caravan dancers."

"Y...you don't even know her," he said, obviously flustered. "But I'm leaving anyway. You caravaners are a shifty lot, and rather offensive to the nose!"

Alkaia watched as the man walked off, disappearing in the dark. She looked over at the bard as he flashed his charming smile. He was of average height and build for a human, which to an amazon was short and puny. He had medium-length light brown hair and a neatly-trimmed mustache and patch under his bottom lip. He was wearing his usual red puffy cap and matching poncho, with golden-brown light and loose pants and long-sleeved shirt.

Was he waiting for a thank you? Alkaia wasn't going to give it, she would have handled the man just fine without his intervention.

"Ah, Lady Alkaia. Good of you to look out for young Marion. I think the girl is entitled to let her hair down and have some fun. But perhaps you are right, it may be time for her to go home."

"Girl?!" snapped Marion.

The bard flashed her a bright smile, "My apologies, Marion. You're a fine young lady, certainly."

"Have you been giving her alcohol, bard?" asked Alkaia.

"No, I have not. Can't say I've even seen her drinking. And call me Leon."

"I told you," Marion started swaying again, "What happened to the music?"

The bard looked up at Alkaia again. "I'm sure the people of this site feel safer with your presence. I would be happy to escort this young lady back to her tent for you. I am good friends with her mother."

"She said you were a sleaze-bag," said Marion.

"Ha ha, oh, that's Bitchy-Bethany, alright. We know each other well enough for affectionate insults."

"No, bard. I'll be the one taking her back. Just let my companion know I'll be back soon."

"As you say. I was only trying to be helpful. Good night Lady Marion, your dancing was very captivating. Don't forget your coins."

The young woman smiled at the compliment. Then caught the amazon's stern look and pouted, "Okay fine, let's go." She squatted down and picked up her bowl, which held a decent amount of copper coins. Alkaia had to help steady her as she lifted herself up again. Marion giggled as she stumbled and accidentally head-butted the guard's left breast. "Wish I had big boobs like you,' she said admiring the leather bound cleavage in line with her head.

"Really?" said Alkaia. "I wish I had small boobs. Come on, 'Lady Marion' "

They started to walk off and there was a shout behind them. "HEY BARD!!"

Alkaia turned to see an angry man confronting Leon. There were half a dozen menacing thugs standing behind him. This looked like trouble. "Stay here," she instructed Marion.

"Where's my purse?" The man growled, standing close to the bard and balling his fists.

Leon smiled nervously but remained calm, "I assure you, I do not know sir. But if you have lost your belongings I can help you ask around if anyone has seen them."

The man got hold of his poncho aggressively, "Don't give me that shit. My purse was stolen and you have something to do with it. The booze doesn't hit me that hard, and you were distracting me while someone robbed me. Who the fuck was it?!"

"Calm down and let him go!" Alkaia commanded, standing close.

The aggressor was tall, but not as tall as her. He looked her over and sneered. "You're a big bitch. You a guard here?"

"I am."

"I want justice. My purse was stolen, and this weaselly bastard had something to with it."

"He's mistaken," protested the bard. "I have only been entertaining these fine folk all night. If his purse was taken it had nothing to do with me."

"I said let him go," said Alkaia, remaining calm. "You don't know who is to blame. I'm telling you to leave and not cause trouble."

The man growled and gave the bard a hard shove, roughly pushing him back and onto the dirt. He looked around. Everyone in the area had stopped what they were doing and were watching the confrontation. "Nah, I think I will cause trouble. No one steals from me without consequences. Maybe we'll take back a couple of those pretty dancers as recompense. Not like one woman guard is gunna stop us." His gang of thugs snickered as they stepped forward threateningly.

Alkaia looked over the gang and a smile formed on her lips. They were armed with clubs, sticks and iron knuckles. She could see some sheathed knives, but none were brandishing a blade. "You sure about that?"

Their boss suddenly took a step forward and swung his fist high at her head. The amazon leaned back to dodge the blow and delivered a fast left jab to his face. He growled as he swung wildly and hit the side of her abdomen. Alkaia just smiled as she got hold of his arm with one hand and dealt a strong blow to his jaw with the other. She then gripped his arm with both hands and let out a loud grunt as she flung him away, sending him stumbling over his feet and crashing into a couple of his goons.

One of the thugs rushed up and swung his club, which Alkaia deftly sidestepped. She gave three rapid punches to his gut. A stick slammed into her back making her groan. She turned and quickly ducked as another club swung at her head. One of the thugs came at her with a staff and she lunged forward to meet him, grabbing his weapon. He still had a grip on the staff and she used her strength to swing him around as the club swung at her again, but instead hit the staff-wielding thug in the head. He released his grip and dropped to the ground.

Alkaia swung the sturdy wooden staff low, knocking the club thug's feet out from under him. She hit another attacker, making his leg buckle before slamming his face. A man on the ground reached up and grabbed her leg. She knocked it away with the staff and heard Marion call out a warning. A large body slammed into her from behind and held her tightly, pinning her arms as the staff dropped to the ground.

Alkaia roared and struggled wildly. Their boss limped toward her holding a club. He raised his club into the air ready to strike the bucking amazon. A large body suddenly slammed into him and sent him flying through the air. Quinctilia growled as she threw some hard punches into another advancing thug. "You started a fight without me!"

Alkaia ducked and threw her head back, smashing the back of her head into the thug's face. He cried out as she ripped herself free of his hold. She turned and delivered several more heavy blows. She heard repeated thwacking noises and looked around to see Quinn on top of the leader, repeatedly punching his head. The frenzied amazon raised her bloody fist again and Alkaia caught it. Quinn looked up at her with a wild look in her eyes. "We don't need to kill him."

Quinn just growled and yanked her hand away, but she relinquished her assault and stood. The man's face was covered in blood but he appeared to be gasping for breath. Alkaia looked around, the fight seemed to be over. The few men that were still conscious were dragging themselves away. The bystanders had been cheering excitedly at the action. Marion was still standing where she left her, gazing at the amazon guards with wide eyes.

"Thank you, my saviors," said Leon, coming forward.

"I didn't do it for you, bard. It's our job."

"And how exceptional you are at it. Such grace and strength, you took those lawless ruffians down and it was a thing of beauty. I could tell that you enjoyed that. It makes you feel alive doesn't it? I am certainly no fighter like you, but I am a great lover. If the fight has put you in the mood for more satisfaction, I happily offer my services. Your satisfaction is guaranteed."

Alkaia rolled her eyes at his forwardness. "Oh, Goddess!"

"How about you, Quinn? I only care for your pleasure," he said, giving her his most charming smile. The large amazon stared at him with a tiny smirk, then spat on the ground and walked away.

"Do you want me to follow you?" he asked.

"You do and you'll end up like them."

Alkaia looked around at the badly beaten unconscious men on the ground and chuckled. "Come on, let's go, Marion."

*****

"Oh, come on Mother, seriously?!"

"Get to it now, Marion, I need to do some washing."

"But the well is on the other side of the camp, and the buckets are heavy when they're full, and there will be a queue for the water. Can't we just wait for the water-cart?"

"It's just the start of your punishment, young lady. And you're just going to make it worse for yourself if you whine about it. Now go!"

Her mother was obviously still very angry with her. Marion was angry, too, why does she have to still treat her like a child? Why couldn't she go out and have some fun and make some coin if she wanted to? The night was a bit of a blur to her, but she remembered enjoying the music and merriment of the night, as well as the attention of city men. She remembered loosening up and being able to enjoy herself around others like she hadn't before.

The young blonde left the tent in a huff and picked up the solid wooden carrying-pole with a metal bucket attached to each end. She now wore her plain blue frock, far more modest and subdued than her borrowed dancing outfit. Her mother stepped out behind her, watching her coolly with her deep green eyes.

"And don't stop to talk to anyone. Not those big guard women."

"Alkaia is a good person, mother," protested Marion.

"They're not like us. They're from the jungle, they're savage. And who knows what strange rituals they perform for their gods."

"Oh for Freya's sake mother, just because they're different..."

"Just do as you're told. And don't dawdle, I have many more chores to keep you out of trouble."

Marion just let out a frustrated huff and walked away with the carrying pole over her shoulders and empty buckets rocking back and forth. Her mother watched as she walked down the dirt path past a few caravan wagons.

The bard appeared with his lute in hand and wearing his usual red poncho and feathered cap "Ah, fine morning to you young Marion. How are you faring after last night's activities?"

"I'm not allowed to talk to anyone!" she said, not stopping. The bard only just managed to dodge one of the buckets as she walked past.

"Oh, your mother's a little upset about last night? I'll talk to her."

*****

Bethany Martel was busying herself bunching herbs and tying them with string when the bard approached. He could see where Marion got her looks, the stern woman had long blonde hair tied up behind her neck. Her body was much more rounded and shapely than her daughter's. The bard admired the generous cleavage pushing out from her worn green and brown frock.

"Good morning Bethany," he chimed in greeting.

She looked up and regarded the man coldly, "Bard. What do you want?"

The bard was unruffled by the stony greeting, "Call me Leon, please. I've just come for a friendly chat."

"Hit on me again and I'll throw this knife at you."

"I told you, I wasn't hitting on you, it was merely my friendly, complimentary manner of speaking. I admit it can be taken the wrong way from time to time."

"Sure, I have heard a lot of things about you...Leon, chasing tail all around the camp. You just stay well away from my Marion, she's not that kind of girl."

"Oh, the girl?" Leon chuckled. "I am not interested in her that way. Pretty as she is, she still has a long way to come before reaching her mother's womanly charms." Bethany raised her carving knife threateningly. The bard raised his hands in submission. "Sorry, sorry. The charm can be hard to turn off sometimes."

"Charm is not the word I would use."

"Hehe. Well, I saw your daughter letting her hair down with the dancers last night. I was watching over her. I even stepped in when a patron was becoming a little too pushy. And I made sure she was safe when a spot of unpleasantness broke out with some trouble-makers."

The mother had a horrified look on her face, "I have already had a stern talk with her about that. But if she tries that again, you will send her straight home. She has no place among that drinking and debauchery."

"Nah, it's just folk unwinding and having a good time. But perhaps you are right, not an appropriate place for a sweet girl like Marion, which is why I would like to suggest an alternative diversion for her." He held up his lute. "I could teach the lass a musical instrument. Music is good for the soul. If she shows talent she could even earn some extra coin for it."

Bethany looked at him skeptically, "You want to teach her to play the lute?"

"Or harp, flute or even singing. The first lessons are free of charge, to see how she takes to it."

The woman was silent for a moment, coldly staring at the bard. Then she shook her head. "No, bard. I don't care what you say, I can't trust you to keep your hands off my daughter."

"Surely an intelligent woman like yourself doesn't believe everything she hears. Idle gossip and rumors spread around this company like wildfire. I will show you I am not a bad fellow at all if you would just give me a chance."

"I gave you my answer. Good day, bard."

"Okay, I respect your decision, dear lady. You do seem rather tightly-strung this morning, however." He held his lute across his chest and gave a musical strum. "Before I go, I would like to play you a song I wrote myself—'The Melting Rose.' It is said to be quite soothing."

"No, I don't want to hear it," growled Bethany, but the bard ignored her and began strumming the intro on his instrument.

She had an annoyed look on her face as Leon continued to play the song. She went back to gathering her herbs, doing her best to ignore him. The bard's nimble fingers moved over the strings, filling the air with melodic notes. He breathed steadily as he focused on tapping into the weave with his well-practiced song and willing it to wash over the stubborn mind before him.